WARNING

IF YOU GET TRIGGERED OR ARE SENSITIVE TO ALCOHOL ABUSE, DEPRESSION, ETC THIS IS NOT THE BOOK FOR YOU! STAY SAFE MY FRENS ♥

(Dan's POV)

I was sat in my office chair, editing a video. I was a little behind schedule so the video would probably go up just a bit late. I knew TeamTDM would understand though. I hear my office door creak open and pay no mind to it, assuming it was the pugs who got in. I hear someone clear their throat and look up to see Jemma in the doorway. "Hey, Love.." I say with a smile. She smiles back and walks over placing her hands on my shoulders and I lift my head and place a kiss to her cheek.

"Dan are you almost done..?" She asks and I bite my lip. "Love, it'll probably take an hour or so, I'm sorry." I say and she sighs out of annoyance. "I barely see you anymore, Dan." She says removing her hands from my shoulders causing me to frown. "Jem don't be mad.. You know I have to work." I say looking up, pushing my chair away from my desk.

"No! Your my husband and we live in the same house and I barely see you!" She says. "I know, Love and I'm sorry." I say and she glares at me. "I thought you were gonna go back to vlogs?" She says calming down. "I can't JUST do vlogs.. My channel is a gaming channel and I'll loose views." I say and she sighs turning away from me. "You only think about yourself, Daniel." She says and I clench my jaw.

"How so? Because I'd like to think I've cared and loved you with all I am. Don't be a bitch because I'm working." I say and she turns to surprised. "Excuse me?" She says and I sigh. "What's gotten into you, Dan?" She says and I lean back into my chair and close my eyes for a moment. "No, Jemma. What has gotten into you? Why'd it suddenly a big deal that I'm doing YouTube." I say opening my eyes. "Its never been an issue." I state. She looks down and sighs.

"Dan I did something bad." She says and my heart drops. "What..?" I say sitting up. "I..I kinda cheated on you, but I swear it-" I blocked her out, and stand up squeezing my eyes closed for a moment. "So you're gonna tell me, because I work, I'm doing something you wanted me to do, and something I enjoy doing as my job and you go and cheat on me because of it?" I ask, sadness and anger overcoming me. "Look I don't think we were working out though.. Right?" She says and I step away from her astonished.

"I thought we were, but now that I see how you really are, I don't think we'll ever work out." I say blinking back the tears. "I wasted all these years with someone who didn't even truly love me. Huh." I bite biting my lip. "I do! And maybe we can work this out!" Jemma says grabbing my hand but I pull it away from her. "You're kidding right? If you did you wouldn't have done that. Just, just get out of my house." I say, every word I said hurt me. I didn't want her to leave, but she needed to.

She hurt me, and obviously, doesn't love me. "Fine!" She says stomping out of my office. That's when I broke down. I didn't care if she heard me either. I fell to my knees and cried. I cried for what felt like hours, but probably wasn't. I hear the door slam downstairs, indicating that she had left. I wipe my eyes, and run my fingers through my hair, and stand up. Maybe I am a bad husband? Maybe I should've paid her more attention.. But that still, didn't give her the right.

She knew, she knew how much YouTube meant to me. I don't wanna hurt about this, but how can I not? I loved her. So, so much and I'd like to think I showed that, she was just too blind to see it I guess. I punch my wall only to scream. "You fudging.." I say gripping my hand, slowly wiggling my fingers to make sure I didn't break anything. I sigh, wiping another tear that fell down my cheek. The pain. My heart, it hurt. I think for a moment, before I go downstairs, put on my shoes, and grab my keys, and leave.

-

I sat in my car for a moment, deciding whether or not this was a great idea. People say it helps. Alcohol numbs the pain, so why not. I turn off my car, and step out looking at the building. I sigh, and walk inside, taking a seat at a barstool. The bartender glances at me and smiles. "What can I get for you tonight?" He asks and I say the first thing that comes to my mind. "A shot of vodka." I say. I never had it, but I heard its strong.

"Just straight up vodka?" He asks and I nod. "Okay." He says with a nod. I look around, the smell of alcohol burning my nose. I could see people dancing, all of them obviously drunk out of their minds. "You don't seem like a guy who'd come to a bar, rough night?" The bartender asks, sliding the shot of vodka in front of me, at which I then paid him. "Yeah, most definitely." I say and he nods understandingly. "It gets better." He says and I nod, as he goes to take someone else's order.

I pick up the glass, and drink it, coughing at the burning sensation that it caused my throat. It tasted disgusting, but I finished the shot. One by one, as I drank the tiny shots of hell, I soon enough forgot about it. About Jemma, about the fight, about almost, Everything.