I have nightmares. You're probably thinking 'nightmares aren't that bad'. Well, you haven't heard about my nightmares yet.

Over a year ago, I got kidnapped by my mother's vengeful ex. He initially planned on ransoming me back to my parents, but then he changed his mind and did something even more horrible.

He raped me! I got touched in places I didn't know could be touched. I can still feel his awful, hairy hands on my body. I probably have PTSD from this experience.

Luckily I was able to rescue myself, but I was just extremely lucky. I have nightmares about that guy touching me. Now I don't like getting touched. At all.

Once I was in a queue and a boy standing behind me accidentally touched my back. I completely overreacted. I started screaming and pushing the boy away. He almost fell headfirst into a wooden table. Let's just say that I got sent to the principal's office.

I never told anyone about my nightmares. Not even my twin sister Ella knows, and she's basically my best friend. I don't want to burden her.

Sometimes I get scared even if I'm in bed at home. I see the shadows and get convinced that the man is here to get me.

Once I tried staying up all night so that I won't get any nightmares. Worst idea ever. I was just so tired in school and was practically dozing off in class. I actually did fall asleep in History class (the fact that I hate history doesn't help). I was so tired that I slept during lunchtime instead of eating lunch. The first thing I did when I reached home was to go into my room and sleep.

Ella asked me why I was so tired, but I didn't answer her. I can't possibly tell her about... You know what. I just can't.