I would never call myself a good man.

Even before Hydra made my become the "Winter Soldier" I did so many wrong things - too many to be one of the Avengers, I guess. Too many to get Steves shield.

I betrayed my friends and family.

I wasn't able to stay with me best friend when he'd needed me the most.

I almost startet a war between Iron Man and Captain Amerca.

I treated many women wrong - ignored their feelings, played with them, because "Love" was always just a game for me.

I killed people in the war. Even people who weren't fighting.

And I feel sorry for all of this. But there is nothing - literally nothing - I regret as much as that I never told Steve that I loved him. It's so long ago - 70 years, I guess - but today I whish that he had known. That I said this horrible five words.

I love you, Steve Rogers.

I don't even know when it startet. Maybe when he became a soldier. Or when he rescued me. Or when we fought in the Second World War. Side-by-side.

And maybe - just maybe - I did already loved him when we were boys.

But after I freezed... this feelings were gone. They died in the ice and one part of me died with them. After that we were "just" friends. Brothers. As we are today.

He was there when I came back to life.

He thought me dead but I wasn't.

I thought him dead but he wasn't.

He was a hero - a Avenger. And I was the reason for a war. I guess that says everything about us. The golden boy and his friend. Me. Bucky Barnes.

Steve believed in me when I didn' even know who I was. And I belivieved in him since the moment I remembered.

He was grown in the time we didn't see each other. He seemed wiser and stronger.

We both are older than we should be - I mean... soldiers in the Second World War and still fighting in the 21th century? Sounds like a bad joke.

But he is the only one who became better. Another person. A great hero. When we met again he was Captain America. Not Steve Rogers. Not anymore. Even now when he also looks like an 80-year old man. He had the time of his life with his wife Peggy Carter - in his timeline. Our timeline.

And I? I am still who I was when we were young.

Bucky Barnes. Just Bucky Barnes, who is now running through a training room and trying not to get hurt by some paintballs. How heroic.

Next to mee runs Sam Wilson, the Falcon. He has wings made of steel but he isn't using them in the moment. Why should he? He has Steves shield to protect him.

"Bucky!", Sam yells and breaks in on my thoughts.

I lift my metal arm an fend of a paintball. Red colour splashes on my fingers. The colour of love and the colour of blood.

I look around and see some drones left. They all are controlled by a computer ten metres away from us. Can we do it without getting shooted by one of the "bullets"? However: I really should care more about the training and less about some old and gone feelings.

I hide behind a small wall and look to my training partner.

Sam Wilson, "the Falcon." And Bucky Barnes, "the Winter Soldier." Thats us. A bird and a freezed soldat. Sounds like a great team, doesn't it?

Sam comes to sit next to me.

"I am wondering...", he begins "...why you are still here, when your mind is flying away. You weren't that bad since... well, okay, you were never as bad as today."

He's right, I know that. But I will not tell him why.

"Flying? Me?", I ask instead of an explanation. A paintball exlodes next to us. "I don't have your wings, hawk."

"Uh, I forgot, ice man."

Sam laughs und gives Steves Shield to me. He sometimes does that in the training sessons - that's why I know what's coming now. Our little bird is gooing to use his wings.

In less than a second everybody can see where he'd get his name.

Sam takes his wings infront of him so they build a wall which is protecting him from the paintballs. Not even one of them goes through his feathers of steel.

And I? Well... what is an artist without someone who watchs him? I'm just sitting here, do nothing and feel like I've become Ant-Man: Small, annoying and ueseless . (If you'll ever read this: I'm sorry, Scott.)

Sam runns to the computer at the other side of the room, protected by his wings. He could just press the button, but... yeah, he's Sam, you see? Two seconds later the computer is crashed and he's smiling.

"You just had to push.", I grumble. "Tony's gonna hate us for thi-..." I interrupt myself.

Tony.

The war.

Thanos.

The snap.

Starks death.

Sometimes I forget that he's gone. That Iron man is gone. Forvever.

I can see that Sam realizes too. He tries to smile but it looks like a dying monkey.

"Well... he does't, but Pepper will.", Sam grins and I feel sorry for all the monkeys which are dying like this. "But... hey Bucky! We won!"

"No, Sam. You won. And against what? Paintball drones? This is a game for little boys."

Sam rolls his eyes.

"So what?", he asks me. "It was only training. Wouldn't be that good if we would die there just because we use real bullets."

"You're right.", I admit. "Maybe we should do something else. Stop the training."

My friend smiles. "You mean... we're going to seek adventures?"

"No, Falcon." I take my gun and wipe it clean. Now there's only some black colour left at it but I don't care. "We're going to feel alive again."

Sam grumbles: "And where is the difference? That it sound more epic when you say it?"

"Yes. And that we do this because the world needs us and not just for ourselves.", I smile. Actually this isn't my opinion but I don't want to have an argument with him. Because in my heart there is another reason. It's name is Steve Rogers and I need to forget him very quickly.

"The world needs its captain.", Sam crashes all my plans. "Not his friends."

"So maybe we should stop calling us just his friends!", I hiss more angry than wanted to do.

Sam raises his eyebrow.

"Well... if you want so, Ice man.

We're you and I.

Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes.

The Falcon and The Winters Soldier."

"Why are you always so dramatic?", I ask.

"Because you're boring, I guess.", Sam responds and leaves the training room. " I need to be nice for both of us."

I grunt. "I am boring? And what about you, little robin?"

But he doesn't answer and I have no other choice as to chase him. Maye he didn't hear me.

***

"Yes. Yes of course you can go on a mission." Rowndy seemes to be confused. "Why should you not?"

None of us - Sam and me - answers.

As a matter of fact I'm not even sure why we asked War Mashine. Maybe because the both leaders of the Avengers are gone and he was Iron Mans best friend. Mh... but that would be funny because noone asks me to go on a mission and I am Caps best friend.

"Uhm...", Rowdy says because I keep silence.

"And... is there anything we should do?", Sam asks. He looks like he's feeling very uncomfortable.

Rowdy huches his shoulders. "Uhm... yeah, of course. Nothing special, but... you can visit one of the old S.H.I.E.L.D.-stations. If you want so... There might be some last information about some of there projects. Or even some names of people who were working for Hydra. The most of the centrals are already controlled but not all of them. Do you two want to do it?"

No, I don't want to controll an old house. This sound as boring as doing nothing. Isn't there something more... interesting we could do? What... divers me more?

But we asked him and he told us the truth.

So I nod my head and say: "We'll do it. Come on, robin bird."

"It's called Falcon, autumn boy.", Sam grumbles.

I ignore him.

"However, Rowdy, can you give us the coordinates?"

"Aye.", War Mashine responds. "When do you want to start?"

"Now.", I explain. "Let's go, Sam."