'Except for him.'

That's what I wanted to say.

'Nobody can help me, except for him.'

But I didn't.

Because in this moment... in this moment with this man I fear and who helps me... I felt like I could control the Phoenix. The tattoo. The horrible things Hydra did to me. I felt like I'm his master and he's just me weapon.

But I know it isn't true. I know that I cannot control him.

I am the red Phoenix. Red like blood and roses.
I am the Phoenix Hydra wanted dead.

Because the fire is stronger than I am.

***

"We're there.", Bucky Barnes says and gives me his hand to get off of the motorbike. Of course I ignore him and do it on my own.

"No shit, Sherlock.", I say sarcastic. "I realized that we held on but thanks for your explanation."

"Every time again, Watson.", he grumbles and rolls his eyes.

"Wait, you know Sherlock Holmes?", Sams asks with a mix of confusion and unfriendliness in his face.

He does not trust me. And I can understand him.

"Hydra locked me in a room at the bottom of their foothold.", I explain. "But I escaped and could live in the whole area they surrounded by the electric field you destroyed. In the foothold were clothes, food, weapons and some other things. Also books and movies."

Bucky smiles. "Come on, Mrs Holmes. We have a new case.", he says to me and gives me his arm like one of this gentlemen from the old films I watched.

"It would be an honor, Mr Watson.", I answer and lay my hand on his.

Acting like someone I'm not helps me to control this fear I don't want to have. And I have a feeling like he knows that because he's doing the same.

"And who am I?", Sam grumbles. "The hound of Baskerville?"

Barnes laughs. It is the first time I'm sounds... happy.

I wish a would have a friend like Sam. Someone who makes me laugh even if I'm so fearful and sad like Bucky is. Well... I think he is.

We open the door and walk into the building.

The rooms are big and bright, many windows are in the walls.

I can see no other people and I want to ask if they really live in this boring, white rooms, when Falcon opens a door.

Behind this door there is so much technology that I make a step backwards. The only organization I know that has so much of this is - you see - Hydra.

A man stands at a table, he is looking at a big, black machine I don't know.

When the Winter Soldier closes the door behind us, the man turns around.

"What the hell?, he says when he sees me.

Charming.

"That's Kayla Kollins.", Bucky says.

"That wasn't the question.", the man says and takes one step to us. His hands are fists and I'm sure that he will attack me if he thinks that something is wrong. I guess he doesn't trust Barnes and Wilson.

"Rhodey..." That's Sam. He rolls his eyes. "She's okay."

"Well, I'm fine.", I say. "Thanks for asking." I also take a step forward. The tattoo at my chest begins to shine a little.

"Hey. Stop that, he's a friend." Suddenly Bucky stands next to me. He lays his hand on my shoulder and holds me back.

His whole arm is made of steel or something like this.

I try to free me, but I can't.
So I hold on, look him in the eyes and hope that he understands, that he should stop this right now.

He understands, makes some steps backwards.

In his face there is something I don't now. Like... fear or confusion but not panic.

I look down to my chest and see that the tattoo is red again. The Phoenix seems to burn.

I close my eyes, control him, lock the fire, the power and my fear away. Then I open my eyes again.

The man - Rhodey - looks at me and I'm not sure if it's respect or confusion in his face but it isn't unfriendly anymore.

"Where do you come from?", he asks me and leans against a table next to him.

I take a look to Bucky and Sam. Both nod their heads.

"I was... a prisoner of Hydra.", I explain. "Locked away in the foothold, snowflake and bird boy visited to seek some information."

Sam raises an eyebrow. "Bird Boy?", he asks but Rhodey shakes his head to show him that he should shut up.

"I thought the foothold was empty?", he wants to know.

"Yes.", Bucky helps me. "There were no members of Hydra, but Kayla-"

"I can speak for myself.", I interrupt him. I'm not sure if I can trust him and I really don't want his help if I can do it on my own.

"Hydra leaved me there. I couldn't escape because there was an electric field all around and I wasn't able to destroy it. Wilson and Barnes did it from the outside.", I go on.

Rhodey smiles a little.
"So they freed you and brought you here because you have no home? How romantic."

In his eyes I can see that he thinks it was the wiring decision.

"We can't adopt every homeless person.", he tells Sam and Bucky. "But of course...", he says to me and smiles again "...we will help you finding an new home if you answer us a few questions."

He's right, I know that. And he tries to be nice. But he isn't very clever, is he?

Buccky seems to think the same: He looks at his... friend, I guess, and asks: "Don't you want to know why she was locked away? And what this tattoo is?"

"I think you gonna tell me.", Rhodey grumbles. "But do it quick, I have work to do."

Barnes turns to me, raises an eyebrow. I nod my head. I like this idea he asks me to do. It's easier to defend myself if we do this.

"We won't tell you.", I explain Rhodey. "We gonna show you."

And then my hands start to burn. Flames come out of my fingertips, the Phoenix at my chest starts to shine like a red fire.

All this years I just used a little of my power because I knew that, when the Phoenix burns down to ashes, he will not rise. Nobody can kill me as long as he's alive. But if he dies, I will fall with him. And I will drunk in the sea of tears and ashes.

But in this moment it's more. Stronger. Hydras electric field isn't holding him or me back.

I can do more than I ever could.

Fire in my eyes.

Fire in my soul.

Fire at my hands.

Fire in my throat.

I was burning brighter and faster than I ever thought I could.

"Enough!", somebody yells. "Enough!"

But I can't stop it. I'm free. The Phoenix is free. I'm far away from Hydra and the chains they put on me.

I just let go.

It feels so familiar.

So strong,

so powerful.

So... me.

My eyes are closed. I can't remember when I did this, but I don't care anymore.

The flames are warm. They kill all the cold in me, all the fear and helplessness in my heart and head.

Somewhere in my head I remember that there a other people in this room too.

Sam, Rhodey. Bucky.

I try to hold it back, control the power I love.

But a voice in my head whispers to me that everything's all right. The Phoenix. My tattoo. My past.

Everything is all right.

"The three man are bad. They are a part of Hydra. You hate them."

I can't even remember why I startet burning but I'm glad I did.

Because now I have the power to destroy them.

This feelings and thoughts aren't mine.

"Yes, they are!", the voice shouts.

"No, they aren't!", I want to yell, but I can't. I'm not controlling it. It's so much stronger outside of my prison.

"Kayla! You must stop it!", I hear a third voice. It doesn't belong to the Phoenix. It doesn't belong to me.

But there are you him and me.

We are the only ones on this world.

That's why I'm burning.

No. Wait. That wrong.

"What's wrong?", the third voice asks again.

I remember it... it's Buckys.

But who is Bucky?

Who am I?

"The phoenix! You are the Phoenix!", The voice of my tattoo screams.

"The Phoenix. I am the phoenix.", I whisper.

But I'm not sure if this is right. I'm Kayla Kollins. And I can control it. I'm not alone in this room, I can stop it, I can save them, I can-

„I'm sorry."

That's the last thing, that I hear, before everything turns black.

„So sorry."