We joined Bob and Wade in the building designated as the Head Village house. Wade was messing with some papers and he seemed a bit frustrated. Bob was placing the chairs around the round table. He looks up, "Oh hey, glad you could make it." He smiles. Wade looks up from the papers and smiles a bit, "Hey, Ethan, good to see you up. How are you?" I take a seat and shift my leg into a more comfortable position, "I'm as well as I can be." "Good good." He nods his head as he shuffles the paperwork together and then picks it up, tapping them on the table to make them neater.
"How about you guys?"
Bob sits back in his seat and fixes his glasses, "Health wise? Just fine. But I feel like I just did the most ridiculous mental gymnastics with all this stupid paperwork."
"He's not even kidding." Wade shakes his head, "To make matters worse, it kept going." His look becomes intense like he was ready to just burn it all.
"It's the government, nothing is supposed to be easy." Tyler mutters as he takes a seat next to me. He folds his arms over his chest and stretches his legs out in front of him. Is that his chair sleeping position?? Sleeping now of all time?? "It's alright Ethan, Tyler usually sleeps when we talk about the boring stuff. He knows that we can give him the important details later." Wade informs me. Mark, Jack, and Felix proceed to enter the room one after the other and make their way to their seats. We all gave each other a quiet but quick greeting. Tyler shifts his shoulders from side to side as he sinks a bit more comfortably into the chair. He lowers his head and closes his eyes; instantly asleep. Wow, I wish I could fall asleep that fast. I lean over to see if he was actually asleep and I can make out a very faint snore.
"Alright everyone, thank you for being so patient while we took the time to get through this mountain of paperwork." Wade starts the meeting. I tilt my head slightly, "That doesn't look like a mountain of paperwork."
"That's because you didn't see the papers behind me." He gestures to the wall behind him and I lean over to see what he's talking about. My eyes widen at the sight. The papers were in tall stacks up, at least, a third of the wall and spanned a couple of feet.
"What the fuck...?" I look from the papers and back to Bob and Wade.
"Yeah, it's been a mess." Bob nods his head as he wiggles his fingers, probably cramped up from the constant writing.
"To be expected, continue." Felix interrupts, waving his hand slightly.
"Anyways, Bob and I have completed everything and wanted to go over everything to make sure everyone is in agreement." Wade explains. We'll be here forever. I couldn't believe there were so many papers to get through.
Bob stands up and grabs from the first stack then brings it back to the table, "Alright, we start off with property."
"The government has agreed to give us this bit of land and enough to start a few patches of farm land." Wade lays out a map on the table and circles the plots of land that they had discussed keeping from the government. Jack leans forward, pulling the map to himself, "That's pretty small for farming. We should negotiate for something bigger." Bob begins to write down on a new piece of paper. Wade hands Jack the pencil, "Any suggestions?" Jack takes the pencil and begins to circle a much bigger plot, "That should be enough, we can cut it into smaller sections for different food. And maybe a couple of mules to help us plow the fields."
Bob glances at the map and writes down the new plot suggestions. Wade pulls out another paper. I glance around the table to get a better look at everyone. Mark was sitting forward in his seat, his elbows rested on the table as he propped his chin up by his hands. He had a bit more serious look than normal. The front of his black hair was fluffed, pulled up and to the side. It looked like it had been done by habit. He was wearing a red and black colored flannel that was unbuttoned to reveal his tone abdomen. There on the left upper side was the scar left by the bullet. It was smaller than I thought but I bet the back side looked worse. I hadn't seen the exit wound yet. My gaze glides to Jack, he's sitting next to Mark. He was leaning forward pointing at things on the map. He looked focused. His cheeks were a beautiful rosy red and I couldn't help but remember when that color had left his face. He looked so lost. Ever so slightly I catch Mark's glance at Jack, almost like he was reassuring him that he was still there. My eyes drift over to Wade. He looks tired. He shuffles the papers in his hands and then rubs his head as he closes his eyes. I never noticed that he, and Bob, seemed to be scarless. They somehow kept their skin clean. Bob shifts to a new blank piece of paper as they continue discussing property. He, too, looks tired. Felix shifts in his chair and my eyes are drawn to him. He was wearing similar clothes to yesterday. His blonde hair was shiny again. His sitting position told of power or leadership. He had his hands resting on the arms of the chair and his legs were spread out in a dominant position. His electric blue eyes glow just slightly as he is silently listening. My eyes dance down his face before they rest upon his neck; more specifically his scar. Tyler gave him that scar. They say he nearly died. Would he have accepted it? Was he prepared to be reunited with his lover? What happens when a Songbird dies?? Finally my eyes rest on Tyler's sleeping form. 'I'm the only Guardian.' 'Everything was resting on my shoulders.' 'I made the decision and it was the wrong one.' His words echo in my head and it makes my heart twist. Everyone has their own pain. Pain that they had yet to work through. Pain that maybe they didn't want to work through. I shift forward and fold my arms down on the table, resting my cheek on one arm as I glance around the room. It's kinda peaceful here.

~Dream/Memory~
"Dad, are we visiting Mom today?" I looked up from the coloring sheet that the nurse had given me. My dad was sitting in the seat across the room. He was staring intensely at his hands. I was used to him not hearing me. I set my crayon down, "I have to go to the bathroom." I scooted my little plastic chair back. My father makes a grunt noise and then I head off to find the bathroom.
It was fairly easy to find and didn't take me long to finish my business. I step out and then glance around the empty hallways. It was so quiet here but at the same time it felt like the building was busy. I turn to see the back of "Momma!" She hurries around a corner without so much as looking in my direction. Maybe she didn't hear me. "Momma, wait up!" I hurry after her as fast as my little legs would carry me. She always seemed a few steps ahead of me. Her beautiful hair flowed behind her as she walked, just like the gown she was wearing.
"Momma, wait up! I can't run that fast!" I turn a corner and she completely disappears from my sight. Huh? Where'd she go? I slowly start down the hallway, "Momma? Are we playing hide and seek??" I peek through every open door and around every corner trying to figure out where she had gone. Weird.
"Ethan!"
I turn to see my father making a beeline straight towards me.
"Daddy, I saw-"
He grips my arm, "What the hell are you doing??" His voice makes me shrink back a little bit, "I was just playing..."
"Now is not the time." He stands up briskly, keeping the firm grip on my arm, "Come on, it's time to go home."
"But what about seeing Momma??" I try to keep up with his long legs as we rush down the hallway.
It wasn't until later that night I learned that Mom had died while I was wandering the hospital.

"Ethan, come down here, I want you to meet somebody!" I hear my dad yell from downstairs. Strange, we don't usually have guests. I make my way downstairs and turn around the corner to see Dad standing next to this woman. He was wearing the same look he had when he was standing next to Momma and it made me confused. This woman was not Momma. She looks weird and stiff? And her face made me think: snake.
She gives me a smile but I can't feel any warmth coming from it. "Hello there Darling, I'm your Dad's fiance." She bends down to me and pulls me into a stiff hug, if you could call it that. She was bony and uncomfortable. She felt nothing like Momma. She smelled like chemicals instead of flowers or rain.
And just like that she was there to stay.

"Ethan, be a good little boy and come meet Mommy's friends!" Her voice always hurt my ears. I put on that stupid hat and winces when I saw myself in the mirror, no six year old would ever be caught wearing a sailor's outfit. I make my way downstairs to see my stepmother and all of her friends. They were gathered next to the couch, their adult drink sitting on the coffee table. Each step I took made me feel like I was walking into the snake's lair to be snatched and gobbled up.
"Awe! He's so cute!" They babbled as they all reached forward and began to pinch my cheeks or pull at my hair.
It was becoming suffocating.
"Let go." I whine.
They can't seem to hear me over their incessant babbling.
"You're hurting me!" I step back, trying to get away from them. They seem to follow me and the pain seems to get worse and it feels like they are swallowing all the air up from my lungs. The room begins to spin.
"Enough!" I shout. A collective gasp comes from the crowd as they trip over themselves to get away.
"A demon!"
This time the only one standing before me is my stepmother. Her face is pale and deep in her eyes is not a look of fear but a look of disgust.
"I always knew you were the black sheep. That you were the one holding your father back from everything."
Her voice echoes around me as I'm suddenly sinking through a dark ocean.
"He was happy when you finally left. His burden that he had been carrying for years, finally is dumped off his back."
I try to cover my ears and block her out.
"That's not true! My father loves me!"
"Why would he love a demon spawn like you!" She screeches at me, her voice grating like nails on a chalkboard.
"He missed his wife's death because he was searching the hospital for you! She died because of you! Oh how she must turn in her grave at the sight of you!"
"Stop it, stop it! It's not my fault!"
Suddenly the air is forced out of my lungs and I sink further into the ocean.
Wait! I can't breathe!
I kick my legs to try to go up but everything is the same color and I'm all turned around.
"She died because of you!"
"It's all your fault!"
"You're a demon!"
"Why can't you do anything right!"
"Every time I get a call from the school, it's always the same shit, when are you going to pull your head out of your ass and actually do something!"
And just like that the water is gone and I can breathe again. There in front of me sits my father in the waiting room. Six year old me is coloring again.
He stands up from the table to go to the bathroom. I follow him.
Once he steps back out of there Mom passes in front of us again.
"Mom?"
And off we go chasing her. She's fast even with my older body, I still can't keep up. We round the corner and she is gone. "Hide and seek?"
We search until Dad grabs us by the arm, angry, dragging us down the hallway.
"Dad wait! I saw Mom! I swear! If we just go around this corner!"
I tried to run back down the hallway but it just kept getting longer and longer. I was running but getting absolutely nowhere!
"No please! I just want to see her one last time! Please! I want to say goodbye!! Momma!!"
Suddenly I'm outside, it's raining.
There in front of me was her grave. The soil looked fresh. I collapsed to my knees, "Momma! Please come back! Please! I just want more time with you!!" I have to aggressively wipe my face to see past the tears.
~end dream~

"Momma!" I jolt up with so much force it tips my chair backwards and I crash to the ground behind me. My ears ring and I take in gasping breaths. Where am I? What happened??
"Ethan! Are you okay?"
I blink past blurry eyes to see Tyler kneeling next to me as the others gathered in the back, all with concerned faces. The back of my head pounds as Tyler sits me up and I take in a few more breaths, still having trouble keeping the air within my lungs, "I-I'm alright..."
"Are you certain? You seemed to have had a nightmare." Mark says.
Was I certain? No. That wasn't a nightmare, I was just reliving old wounds. "I think maybe I should go clear my head." I look up and a few gasps make me nervous, "What?"
Felix makes his way over to me, leaning close enough I could feel his hot breath beat against my skin. His hand reaches up and he brushes my cheek before pulling back his hand. There on his fingers was a black substance, much like the one we're covered in in our true demon forms.
"Wha-?" I'm flabbergasted.
"What is that?" Jack manages to form my words through his mouth.
"I've never seen that." Mark utters.
"I have." Felix stands, handing me a handkerchief to wipe away the substance, "Tears of the Demon, the beast that feels nothing but rage. The dream must've pulled up something from your past that has really shattered you."
I blow my nose and then sniff, "Kinda." I didn't feel comfortable saying what.
"Well whatever it is, if you can mend it, you should. Or else that nightmare is going to haunt you." Felix turns away and makes his way back to his seat.
"How do you know? Did it happen to you?" I question him. His eyes meet mine and he seems to freeze in his spot before he clears his throat, "It did."
"How am I supposed to fix it?" I try to wipe away the black tears, but I can't see them without a mirror.
"Here, let me help." Tyler takes the handkerchief from me and gently begins to clean the tears. Felix just shrugs his shoulders, "I can't read your mind. Whatever haunted you just then is what you need to mend."
Haunted me? Mom? I can't mend that, she's dead. I let out a soft breath.
"Tyler, why don't you take Ethan for some fresh air?" Jack suggests, "We can always fill you both in about the plans."
"I didn't mean to disturb everyone." I felt exhausted but also upset with myself. Tyler stuffs the handkerchief in his pocket before picking me up without a problem.
"You're alright." Wade waves off my anxiety, "We all have off days."
"You could probably use the extra rest before your physical therapy anyway." Mark chuckles lightly.
Felix makes eye contact with me but he doesn't say anything. He seems to be in his own head. Tyler excuses us before he carries me out of the house and starts down the road.
"Are you sure you're alright Ethan?" Tyler's voice rumbles against my side, "You jumped up from the table like someone was after you."
I rest my head against his chest, "I don't know anymore." I feel lost now.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He hums.
"...not right now." I close my eyes. All I can see is the image of Mom's grave.
If I could get back to you, I would. But I haven't been there in years, I don't think I could possibly remember where you are.

Tyler found a comfortable spot outside and he sat me down. He shifts and then sits next to me. I looked out in front of us to see the village that laid out before us. The streets were bustling with people as they wandered around, talking with one another.
"...it looks as if they have lived here their whole lives."
"It's comforting to see everyone so peaceful." He mumbles.
"...it was my mom."
He glances at me but doesn't speak, allowing me to gather my erratic thoughts.
"If Felix is right, I'm just probably never going to sleep peacefully again." I threw a twig I had been messing with, "I can't remember where Mom is buried and I can't reach out to my family and ask; I severed that line yesterday." I lean my head back against the tree sitting behind us. He moves his legs, watching as a group of children run by; they laugh and giggle. They tumble around on the ground as they play wrestled with one another. I wish I had that kind of childhood. A bunch of friends that would play games with me. But all I got stuck with was a controlling stepmother and a father too blinded by grief to notice.

"Alright, are you ready to start?" Rose asks. I yawn and rub my eyes. Last night was another terrible nightmare and it didn't help that Rose wanted to get started at the ass crack of dawn.
"Why so early?"
"Well it's more peaceful and you don't have to worry about being surrounded by others." Rose explains, he bends down in front of my leg.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Well yesterday most people left you alone, but you are kind of like a celebrity. As you singlehandedly pushed the Leaders to finally escape." Rose explains. He grabs my leg, "Okay, I'm going to move your leg to see what's left of your range of motion. It may hurt."
"A celebrity? Ow!" I grip the seat as Rose begins to move my bum leg around. He moves carefully but he was right as it did hurt. "Yeah, kinda."
"That seems weird." I try to ignore the pain.
"I'm sure as you start to get back onto your feet, more people will want to be around you. Want to talk to you. Or maybe even try to get you to bless their kids."
"Okay," I furrow my brow, "I don't thi-"
"No seriously, I have heard the conversations. People idolize you." He interrupts me.
"...I don't want to be idolized." I grunt as Rose begins to shift my leg around in a slow circular motion, "I'm not a celebrity and I'm not a savior."
"Not a savior?" Rose moves my leg back down to give me a break, "You literally saved everyone."
"I really didn't. I just pushed everyone else in the right direction." I shake my head, breathing through the pain in my leg.