Here we goooo!!

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Xiao Zhan's POV

The moment I woke up I remembered what happened so I sat up in a hurry ready to defend myself. I was a little dizzy but nothing I couldn't handle. I was surprised that I was alone but that didn't mean I was disappointed. Being alone is a luxury right now and I had time to think.

I looked around the room and my mood changed. Everything inside here from the furniture, their colors, the color of the walls, the decor... This is close to the idea of how I would furnish my bedroom. Of course only if my life wasn't as miserable as it was right now and I had a house or an apartment of myself.

Meng Yao and I knew each other for about 5 years and we have been best friends for the same time. That was before I got to know what kind of a person he was. Without questions, he knew a lot about me but that he could furnish a room exactly according to my ideas was weird because we didn't speak much about stuff like this.

Now I needed to find a way to leave here. I wasn't scared. Well, maybe a little, but at least I was sure that he wouldn't hurt me. If he wanted to, he could have done it already but as he had feelings for me, he wouldn't. I tried to think of a way to leave here but I couldn't find a solution. And even if I could, I didn't even know where I was. I looked out of the window but all I could see were trees. But they looked different from the house I lived in with Meng Yao.

My phone wasn't with me so I couldn't call for help. I sighed in frustration and wanted to scream.

Just then the door opened and Meng Yao stepped in. I was surprised to realize that the door wasn't locked. I didn't check that earlier but seeing one hell of a big guy standing in front of it I was relieved I didn't.

"Zhan...." Meng Yao called me with a smile and sat down on a chair next to my bed. "I am glad you are already up. For a moment I thought these idiots used too much of the drug. How are you feeling?"

"What do you want, Meng Yao?" I asked him without answering his question. I was still tired but I tried my best to look strong.

"Isn't that obvious? I want you." He answered. "But don't worry. I would never do something to hurt you. I just .... want you here with me. Where I can see you, where I can make sure you are safe and where you won't get hurt."

"Is that all?" I asked and he frowned.

"What do you mean? I love you, Zhan. You are safe here with me. I know.... I know your feelings for me aren't as deep as my feelings for you. Albeit it hurts me I won't hold it against you."

"You love me, yet you keep me here against my will?"

"I have to keep you safe. He will only hurt you. He did so once and I won't let him do that a second time." I knew that he talked about Yibo. "I know you hate what he did, Zhan. I will make sure he won't come close to you again. He will never be able to lie and hurt you again."

"I forgave him." I didn't know why I said that but I wanted him to know.

"Did you forget what he did to you back then? And if that is not enough he did it once again!" Meng Yao was annoyed and I shook my head.

"I didn't and I won't ever forget it. But I forgave him already. He made a mistake and I know he is repenting." I answered and stared at him. "What do you mean he did it again?"

"I know everything, Zhan! I know he seduced you last night. You talked about the past and he said all the things you wanted to hear. He manipulated you until you gave in to him! Just thinking about it makes me so angry I could kill him right here right now!!"

I didn't know how he found out about last night but I could imagine it. "You won't! Don't you think you have done enough already?! You killed people, Meng Yao! You kidnapped women and raped them and-"

"I didn't! I never raped someone! Don't compare me to the men who are working for me. Yes, I kidnapped them. Yes, I killed people. Quite a few but they all deserved it!"

"The two women you shot in my presence deserved it!? Are you fucking crazy!?"

"No, they did nothing wrong except marrying the wrong guy or working for him. And I hated how they screamed. But you are right, these two didn't deserve it. But her husband did. He tried to come in my way and I had to stop him.... Zhan, I never wanted you to witness that."

"But I did and you can't change anything about that! And because I know what kind of man you can be I can't believe that you never raped one of these women."

"I swear I didn't! How could I? I love you, Zhan! I can't bear being with someone else!"

"Why me?" I asked and tried to stay calm.

"Because it's you. I know that you might negatively think of me now but please tell me one thing. If you didn't see what happened if you didn't see the kind of man I am, would you have accepted me? Wholeheartedly? Would you have at least tried it out with me?" The way he looked at me made me want to lie. He looked vulnerable as if the wrong answer would kill him on the spot. But I decided to be honest with him. He might be a liar but I didn't want to be one.

"No, Meng Yao. I wouldn't. Since the moment I fell in love with Yibo, he was the only one for me. It doesn't matter what he did to me. It's all in the past and I forgave him." I told him and he looked more than just a little disappointed. He was heartbroken but I didn't care.

"I knew of your feelings for a long time now and maybe I should have talked to you about it. Not doing it was my mistake and I apologize. All I have seen in you was a friend, my best friend."

"But... the kiss!?"

"YOu kissed me, not the other way around. I didn't feel anything and if you think about it you know that." I told him. He knew, I could see it on his face. "I love Yibo."

"But he is married! You might have forgiven him but he has a family!"

"He does." I agreed with a smile. "That is what I am envious of. I want to have a family myself. I won't ever have one because not only am I gay, I even love a married man who loves another woman.... But it doesn't matter. I am happy for him. His wife is the most wonderful woman I ever met and their son is the cutest being on earth." I meant what I say and hoped that she and Yibo won't get a divorce. Not because of someone like me...

I frowned when I realized something. "Because of you, FanXing has nightmares! You wanted to kill him! An innocent little boy! Just because you thought Yibo would get in your way!?"

"Yes! I swear if I have known who Yibo was I wouldn't have touched the boy. I would have killed Yibo immediately." Meng Yao hissed and looked angry. But then he calmed down and smiled. "I am sorry. I know I made a lot of mistakes in my life ....There is one I am very very sorry about." He looked at me and I saw sadness.

"What did you do?" I asked because I instinctively knew it had something to do with me or with Yibo. Oh my god! Did he-? "Did you do something to him!? Meng Yao, tell me!!"

"No, I didn't. I won't as long as he doesn't get in my way. Which he won't because he will never find out where we are. You might not have feelings for me now, but at least you are here with me. I don't have to worry about what that asshole will do to you this time." I almost snorted when I understood that he thought I would fall for him in the future. I knew what kind of person he is now so that won't happen.

It's the truth when I say that I liked Meng Yao. Well, the Meng Yao I knew before I saw what he did. And to be honest, I might have fallen for Meng Yao if I didn't meet Yibo after all these years and if I didn't see how Meng Yao killed two people.

"Tell me about your biggest mistake. What did you do?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. I need you to come with me. I want to introduce you to someone." He said and smiled upon seeing I did not react. He got up from the chair and reached out his hands to touch my face. I let him do that. Not because I liked it but because rejecting him now might make him moody.

"You aren't scared of me." It was a statement, not a question. "Usually people are scared of me. Everyone who works for me is because I want them to be. But not you."

"I am not scared," I answered truthfully. His eyes wandered to my lips and he stared at them for a few seconds before he let go of me and walked to the door. He signaled me to follow him and because I didn't know what else to do I did.

I was strangely calm and I figured out that I was believing in Yibo for getting me out of here. I knew he would do all he could. Not only because he is a prosecutor but also because he loved me. Yes, he did. I knew that. He loved me so much that he would divorce Xuan Lu. But I hope he wouldn't do it. I don't want him to leave his family just to be with me. All I wished for was getting out of here soon, Meng Yao and his men getting arrested and living peacefully somewhere quiet. But as much as I wanted that, I had to wait and hope.

Currently, I was walking behind Meng Yao. The huge man at my door stayed where he was, he did not follow us. We arrived at some stairs and slowly descended them. Soon I wished nothing more than going back to that room I woke up in earlier.

The villa we were in had two floors and looked quite fancy. I could see a lot of cameras and had the feeling we were being watched. The room I woke up in was located on the second floor and right now we were stepping down the stairs down to the cellar. But when we arrived I realized that was less a cellar but more like a big house under the ground. There were many hallways and many doors. Almost like the house where Meng Yao killed those two women only that this time it was a lot bigger.

As I followed him we passed quite a lot of doors. I didn't need to look inside to know what was happening in many of them. I covered my ears to try to ignore the screams and all the other noises. Meng Yao didn't care at all which angered me. Why didn't he care for them? Why does he have to destroy so many people?!

A few minutes later he stopped in front of a locked door. He looked at me very seriously. "Come in." I didn't want to. After witnessing what happened behind the other doors I didn't want to be alone with him. Especially not down here in a dark hall behind a locked door.

He must have realized what I was thinking and suddenly looked sad. "I won't hurt you, Zhan, and I won't touch you unless I have your permission. Please don't be scared. I just want to introduce you to someone."

I looked at him, trying to figure out if he was saying the truth. That was ridiculous because someone like Meng Yao shouldn't be trusted. Yet, I believed him he wouldn't hurt me. So once Mang Yao unlocked the door and went inside, I followed him.

The smell inside was awful and I had to breathe through my mouth. That didn't help much at least it was a little better than through the nose. The room was dark and there was no window.

"Wake up, asshole!" Meng Yao shouted as he turned up the light and I flinched. The room was dirty and the man who was laying on the bed was as well. He looked as if he was locked up here for quite a while and didn't see a shower in a long while. The men got up slowly only to kneel in front of us.

"I am sorry.... it was a mistake.... will never happen again. Please...." The man begged.

Meng Yao snorted. "Of course it will never happen again. You are about to be punished for what you did."

"Who is that...?" I whispered and Meng Yao walked up to me.

"He is that asshole who did that to your leg. I wanted to kill him on the spot but then I changed my mind." He answered and stepped behind me. Before I could react he took out a gun, put it in my hand, covered them with his own, and aimed at the man kneeling in front of us. "I locked him up so once you are back you can punish him. Zhan, you can do whatever you want with him. Just look at your leg. You still have some difficulties walking. Now you can take revenge." Once he said that he stepped away so that I was the one aiming at the man in front of me.

'He wants me to kill him?!' I thought horrified and shook my head. "I won't kill him!" I said and put down the gun.

"Why? He shot you. He almost killed you. Don't you want him to be punished!?" Meng Yao asked confused.

"Yes, he has to be punished just like you and all the others who work for you. But it will be punished by law." I said firmly.

"He has to die, Zhan! What if he will try to kill you once more?"

"I bet if he shot at someone else you wouldn't mind. You are only keen to kill him because it was me who got shot!"

"Exactly!" He gritted his teeth. "I don't care about others. But he shouldn't have shot you. You are precious to me. Everyone knew not to mess with you or else they would regret it. This motherfucker, however still dared to shoot at you. Now he has to die!"

"Stop it, Meng Yao! I know you care about me. But as you can see I am fine. My leg has almost fully recovered."

"You are still limping!"

"It doesn't matter!" I shouted. "The wound is closed and only a scar will remain. I am not dead."

Meng Yao looked at me. "I have one rule. Once someone betrays me or even thinks about it, will be killed." He said and looked back at the other person. "Punishment by death. You swore it, right?"

"Please.... don't kill me.... I never betrayed you..."

"Shut up!" Meng Yao hissed and turned back to me. His eyes softened "He is for you to take revenge on. Just think about the pain you felt when he shot you."

I stared back at him. "So when someone does something wrong he is to be killed as a punishment?"

Meng Yao nodded with a smile. Then he stepped back so I would have more space. I raised the gun and aimed. But not at the man who shot me but at Meng Yao who raised his eyes in surprise.

"You did something wrong, Meng Yao. All those people you killed, all those things you did to those women, everything that you told your men to do, all of it was wrong. You need to be punished. If your rule is to get killed as a punishment..." I didn't continue the sentences.

"Very well, kill me then. I don't mind dying by your hand." He smiled and seemed to wait for me to pull the trigger. I stood there for minutes only staring at him while aiming the gun at his chest. He needed to be punished no matter what. Meng Yao killed people as a punishment. But I wasn't him. I didn't kill no matter how angry I was. What good would it be in killing him now anyway? Once he is dead, one of his men will probably take over the business and they wouldn't hesitate to kill me. Unlike Meng Yao, his men have no feelings for me and didn't mind one more dead body.

Moreover, as far as I knew, Meng Yao was a smart man. No matter how much he loved me, he wouldn't give me a loaded gun. Even if he knew I wouldn't kill anyone. He knew me well. Sometimes I asked myself just how much he knew of me. Sometimes I had the feeling he knew me far longer than he told me. But that was impossible.

Anyway, I put down the gun again and the smile on Meng Yao's face grew wider. "I knew it. I knew you wouldn't kill me, Zhan." He walked up to me and took the gun out of my hand. Suddenly I felt weak and tired. What just happened was too much for me.

"Zhan..." Meng Yao called me and when I looked up he looked ... happy. "This means so much to me..." He said and pulled me into a hug. His free hand wandered to the back of my head and pressed me against his chest.

I didn't fight against him. It was no use anyway. He stroked my head as he hugged me tightly.

"Zhan... please stay like this. You are innocent and not able to hurt someone. I love you for that. I know that I am going too far sometimes and that is why I need you even more. As long as you are with me I will be able to stay calmer. No one can control me as you do. I love you, Xiao Zhan, and I need you here with me." He whispered and hugged me even more tightly.

Then, out of nowhere, there was a gunshot and the man who shot me weeks ago screamed out in pain. I pushed Meng Yao away and turned around to check what happened. That man lay on the floor holding his upper leg. He was writhing in pain and I looked at Meng Yao in horror.

"I won't kill him. Not because I am forgetting the rules I set but because you don't want him dead. I will accept that decision, Zhan." He said and turned to the other man. "Zhan is the one who saved your life. You better be thankful. Now take care of your leg and take a shower. Once you are done go back to work!" He hissed and threw the gun on the ground.

I thought that man would take it and try to kill us but he didn't. He slowly got up and bowed before leaving us behind. I couldn't believe the gun was loaded. He gave me a loaded gun and if I would have forgotten my principles out of anger or hate or whatsoever, I would have killed a person. I mean, I didn't even once think about killing someone but should I have done that....

"Zhan, let's go back upstairs. There is something I need to tell you."

"What!? What else is there I need to know?" I asked frustrated and he took my hand in his.

"Something very important. Maybe when you heard my story... maybe you will see me in a different light... I want to tell you how I met you and how fell in love with you."

'I don't want to know...' I thought. 'I don't care. I want to get out of here and live peacefully somewhere where it's quiet.... maybe together with Yibo...?'

I was so against him divorcing Xuan Lu yet I want to be with him. I thought that I slowly was losing my mind.

"I am tired...." I said. "I don't want to hear anything! I just want to be alone and sleep." I said and Meng Yao immediately nodded.

"Of course. I will bring you back to your room. Is there something you want to eat? Curry, maybe? I know it's your favorite." I wanted to decline and send him to hell but I was hungry so I had no choice but to agree.

Once Meng Yao delivered the food he stayed with me until I was done. As if he wanted to make sure I ate everything up. He even wanted to know how it tasted and when I gave him a weak nod, he grinned.

"I am glad. This time I made it myself. Now go to sleep. We have enough time. I will tell you my story tomorrow. Sleep well. If you need anything, ask the guard outside." He said and was about to leave when he turned to me once more. "Zhan, I won't lock this door, and if you want you can walk around the house. But make sure you are not going down to the underground because sometimes some of my men are too high to know what they are doing. My guard will be there to protect you when I am not with you so you don't have to worry.

"Why would they...-?"

"Like I side they are sometimes high from taking too many drugs. And not all of my men are fully hetero. I know that they have fun with each other from time to time and I don't care about that. But I told them you are out of their league and death would wait for them should they even think of touching you."

I suddenly got scared. Dealing with Meng Yao was difficult enough but wouldn't survive if I had to deal with his disgusting men. Meng Yao must have sensed my fear. "I promise, you are safe. I will be in the room under yours. Unless.... you want me to stay with you?" He asked and I

glared at him.

"Go," I said coldly and he sighed before he left. I wanted to cry. I might have been a 30 years old man but I was damn scared and wanted to go back home. Well, technically I hadn't a home but right now everywhere but here was a home to me.

I was so scared that it took me hours to fall asleep despite being tired. Every noise in the house made me flinch. But at least I couldn't hear those type of noise up here.

To be continued....

You are not losing your mind, Zhan. You love Yibo and want to be with him but you also don't want to destroy a marriage.  We can understand. It's not wrong to want to be with the one you love. Don't worry. 

I know this chapter is a little boring but I still hope you enjoyed it. In the next chapter, we will hear what MenG Yao wants to tell Xiao Zhan.

Unfortunately, I am not quite sure what it will be. I mean, I do have a plan since the beginning of the story but after writing so many chapters I am scared I forgot something that might not go well with what I want to write. I forgot about something last time .... but thankfully an attentive reader pointed this out to me. <3 <3

So before I will start to write the next chapter I will have to check many chapters in order to make sure to not make any mistakes ^^ 

Hopefully, the next chapter comes out on time next Sunday.  See you there <3 <3

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