December 25th, 2017

I've never had a proper Christmas. Well, I have, but I don't really remember it. It was when Bianca and my mama were still alive, but we never had enough money for 'santa' so we never had the illusion that he was real. It's probably for the best, considering if anyone told me something was real, I fully believed it. And then that led to seeing it. I had a lot of make believe friends.
But now I lived with Jenny, who took Christmas very seriously, and wanted to give me the best Christmas ever.
Ive also never known what it was like to have an extended family, since my moms side was all dead and my dad hasn't talked to any of his siblings since before I was born. They got in some huge fight, and haven't even heard of each other since. I could have a million cousins and other family and not know about it.
Jenny and Carmen on the other hand, have a shit ton of family, and a lot of them were coming over tonight. It was an understatement to say I was stressed.
It was 8:00 on Christmas Day. Jenny woke me up at 7:30, telling me that it was a tradition in the house hold to have a big breakfast, open one present each, and watch a Christmas movie. Then Will was coming over at 10:00 to help decorate because literally nothing was up except the Christmas tree, and Jenny said everything must be done by 3:30 when people started coming.
It would've been a perfect day, if I didn't wake up hearing the whispers of my deceased sister and long gone father in the back of my mind that would only get louder through out the day. So many good things had happened In Only a couple weeks time that I haven't had a really bad day. I mean I'm always going to have something, but nothing that gave me shivers and want to hide under the covers all day.
I sat on the couch waiting for breakfast counting all of the good things that have happened to me this week.
- Jenny telling me I'm moving in with her
- moving in with Jenny and Carmen
- shopping with Will
- Cafe with Will
- school ended
- no more annoying school people

As you can see there is a common pattern with the people that make me happy.
Although I'm glad school is out for two weeks, it's also mean that exams are coming.

"Nico!" Jenny yelled from the kitchen, who was over a frying pan of eggs. I turned to look over the side of the couch, where I had my legs pulled up to my chest.

"Yeah?" I brushed my newly cut hair out of my face. It was still long and messy, but I had a shower yesterday and it was fluffy and soft.

"I woke Carmen up but I think she fell back asleep. Could you go tell her that breakfast is ready, and to get her ass out of bed because the rest of us are awake," she asked, pointing the spatula at the ceiling. I smiled lightly and nodded even though she wasn't looking at me. Jenny was used to my silent replies.
I padded my way up the stairs and slid to a stop in front of Carmen and Jenny's door. I was wearing fluffy socks that were super warm.
I knocked on the door that was closed. I heard a groan.

"I'm opening the door, Carmen," I said to her. She groaned even louder as I opened it up.

"Go away," she grumbled, pulling the covers over her head. She was just like me, but I couldn't sleep last night.

"But Carmen, its Christmassss," I drawled and bounced on my toes. I was cold, and felt like the freezing weather outside was seeping into my bones.

"Christmas?" Mumbled Carmen, poking her eyes out of the covers.

"Yup, and presents and breakfast,"

"Ok I'll be right down," she said, so I swivelled and walked back down the stairs. I stepped into the kitchen and sat on a chair at the island. Jenny was setting out plates and finishing the eggs.

"We're eating breakfast in the tv room neeks. Could you go into the DVD cupboard and get 'The 
Nightmare Before Christmas'? That's what I'm in the mood for this morning," she said, serving the plates. I nodded and headed to the tv room where I opened the huge glass cabinet. I skimmed the hundreds of DVD cases until I found the right movie and put it in the DVD player. I gave Jenny a thumbs up and she brought the plates in, right as Carmen got down the stairs with the comforter wrapped around her. She plunked herself on the couch and jenny sat beside her, me beside Jenny. We ate our breakfast quietly as the movie played and then half an hour after we finished, Jenny decided it was time for the first present of the day.

"Carmen stop being lazy, go get the three presents from the tree," Jenny chided, standing up.
"And Nico, you can help with the plates right?"

"Ya, sure thing Jen," I stood up also, chuckling at Carmen's childish groan. I took my plate and followed Jenny to the kitchen where we washed up and then sat on the couch once more.

"Ok, Carmen, babe, seriously you are so over dramatic, take the fricking blanket off of your head or I will steal it and put it back in our room," Jenny said exasperatedly. I covered my mouth to hide my smile. You would think Jenny was the childish one but Carmen stole the spot by far. Jenny took the three presents off the coffee table and handed them out, one to each of us. Mine was in a box and it wasnt super heavy but it wasn't light. It was wrapped in red and green stripped wrapping paper.

"Ok I'm going first! Santa is always best!" Carmen exclaimed, ignoring Jenny and keeping the blanket tightly wrapped around her body.
She ripped open the wrapping paper, and took out two boxes attached to each other. She opened the first, which was a really pretty terrarium and then a gift card to indigo.
"Santa knows me so well," Carmen sighed and winked at us. Then she waved at Jenny to open hers.
Jenny opened the paper much calmer and carefully and took out a warm jacket. It was army green with white fluff inside to keep you warm, paired with a big grey scarf. It looked really comfortable.

"Oh my god, is this the jacket and scarf I said I wanted like a month and a half ago? How did Santa know?" She laughed and smiled at Carmen with an amused smirk.
"Ok neeks your turn, open it up,"
I hesitated. I don't get presents often. Or ever really. The foster home never really did that. Just a fancier dinner than normal, but everybody hated each other so we would eat in separate rooms.
Jenny noticed me having an eternal battle with myself and nudged me. I looked at her and she smiled warmly.
"It's ok," she assured me. I opened the paper and the box to reveal a new matte black speaker. It was really nice and was bluetooth. I didn't know what to say.

"I-I - um, thank you. This is incredible you guys, thank you so-so much," I stuttered, pulling the speaker out and admiring it.

"Don't thank us, it was Santa," Carmen said as seriously as possible. I grinned at both of them. They got the message.

Then the door bell rang, signalling that Will was here.

"I'm not dressed-"

"Nico, Will's your friend, I don't think he cares if you're in your pyjamas," Jenny chuckled, standing and stretching widely.

"But shouldn't I get ready because company will be here after right?" I asked. I mostly just didn't want Will to see me in my old t shirt and plaid pj bottoms, looking like I just woke up.

"Go answer the door, then we'll distract him when you get ready, ok?" I nodded in reply and headed towards the door. I don't know why I all of a sudden felt self conscious about seeing Will, but I did. Maybe it was Bianca telling me I looked disgusting as always. That might be it.

I opened the door to reveal an extremely happy looking blond-haired and blue-eyed boy. He looked ecstatic to see me.

"Hi Nico! Merry Christmas!" He exclaimed. I smiled at him and his never ending cheeriness. His hair was the opposite of tame and he looked taller some how. He looked genuinely happy to see me. I don't think I would ever get used to that.

"Hi, come in, I guess. I'm not dressed so I'm going t-to go do that. I'll be back!" I turned and ran the opposite way and up the stairs to my room. I heard Jenny shout after me 'that's not what I meant by let him in!' I ignored her.
I slammed my door shut and slid over to my closet. I didn't know what I was supposed to wear. What do you wear to a family gathering?
I didn't know who to ask. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I was starting to panic. I couldn't do that though, because I had Will downstairs waiting for me and Jenny and Carmen getting the decorating stuff out for us.
I took a few deep breaths took out some newer clothes. I grabbed a black t shirt and jeans without holes. Then I slipped a grey sweater over my head.
I went to the bathroom and fixed my hair and brushed my teeth before heading jack down. I just needed a distraction to feel better. Will was the perfect distraction.
He was sitting at the island with Jenny and Carmen. Well technically, Jenny was starting food for tonight, Carmen was dramatically lying on the table (still with her blanket) and Will was sitting.

"Nice of you to join us Nico, why don't you say a better hello to your friend?" Jenny accused jokingly. I blushed and waved at Will who just smiled bigger.

"So how does this decorating work? Where's the stuff and where does it go?" Will asked, turning to look back at Jenny. I stood awkwardly behind him.

"In the front closet there should be like 4 or 5 boxes or something, there's a lot," Jenny answered, waving her free hand at the front hallway. She had the turkey defrosting.

I followed Will to the closet and grabbed two out of five boxes. Jenny was right, there was a lot.
We brought them into the living room and discovered that none of this was even for the tree, and that all of that stuff was in the garage. Thankfully that was already up and not needed.

"Ok let's see what we got here," Will said, opening each box and peering inside,
"We have a few wreaths, stuff to decorate the railing of the stairs inside and out, nutcrackers and snow globes, pretty Christmas cards, lights that I'm guessing are for both outside and the mantel, red ribbon, decorative things for around the house, red and green and white pillows, and more. Jeez Jenny, how much money did you spend on all of this?" Will called to her.

"A lot," she replied.
Will smiled at me,
"Well we should get started shouldn't we?"
I grinned, ignoring Bianca, and grabbed the lights for outside. Will followed me, laughing to himself.

"I've never done any of this before, so you're going to have to tell me what to do," I said to Will as I grabbed my jacket out of of the closet. He nodded.

"Yup I do this for my mom since- yeah I do it for my mom." Will stopped suddenly and his smile dropped, but when I looked over at him questioningly, he covered it up as quickly as he could.
I wanted to ask him, but I didn't know if he would want to talk about it.

"Ok then let's head out," we walked outside and opened the garage. Will was quiet and I could feel the tension.

"So we need a ladder right? And how do we like, keep them up?"
I pulled the ladder off the wall and met Will out side. He was looking at his shoes, with something that looked like a glare on his face.

"Will?" I touched his arm and he looked up at me.
"are you ok?"

"Hm? Ya I'm good, it's nothing," it obviously wasn't nothing.
I couldn't stop thinking about it while putting the lights up. He was below me telling me how to put them up properly. He wasn't making any stupid puns though. He was obviously not alright and I wanted to know why.

"Let's do the railing next, yeah?" I asked and he nodded following me back inside.
We grabbed the banister garland and wrapped it to the top so that the railing was all green, and then added ribbon and red, green and white bulbs.
By then I was bursting with curiosity and Will was shutting down more by the minute.

"Do you want to do the railing outside next?" Will asked, shoving his hands in his pockets and fumbling with something in them that jingled, I assumed they were his keys.
I gathered my courage. Will needed to talk.
I know if it were me I wouldn't want to, but I would probably feel better afterwards and Will hopefully feels the same. He hopefully won't get mad at me and never talk to me again.

"Will.." I took a breath, "Come with me."
I took his arm and pulled him up the rest of the stairs and into my room. He looked reclusive and hesitant but I didn't second guess myself.
I closed my door and walked over to my bed and sat on it. Will followed reluctantly, and sat next to me, a few feet away.

"Will,"

"Yeah?" He tried to play it off.
What if there was nothing wrong? What if my instincts weren't right?

"Will I know something's bothering you, and from experience, I know it's better if I you talk about it," I said, not looking at him.

"Nothings wrong," he replied, obviously lying.

"Will,"

"Fine I'll tell you if you tell me where you got that bruise last week that you tried to cover up. Was it the guys that you got in a fight with?" He questioned back. I lied easily.

"No it wasn't them, I ran into a pole at lunch last week during a bad day and I didn't want to have to explain that to you guys because it's embarrassing. Now what's wrong?" I could tell Will didn't believe me, but I must've been convincing enough because he sighed and shifted where he was sitting. He looked over at me from the corner of his eyes, noticed I was looking at him, and looked back and his hands that were in his lap.

"You know how I told you about my depression and how I tried- tried to kill myself?" He asked first. He was shaking a little bit. I gulped and nodded, not trusting my voice.

"Well, I was trying to figure out my sexuality during it. I realized that I had zero attraction to girls while my friends had already hooked up with them. I dated but still didn't like it so I came to the conclusion that I was gay. I was really scared to come out but after telling some friends I got the courage to tell my parents. My dad... he didn't take it well. He-he left me and my mom and all I could think about was the fact that it was my fault that he left. My mom told me that they were already having problems but I still think it was because I came out..  I don't know, maybe she was right but-" he gasped in surprise when I hugged him. I couldn't help myself. Will was my best friend and he didn't deserve to think these things about himself because he was nice to everyone he met. I know I didn't understand, but people should, especially if it's their kids.
I held him tight and he held me. We stayed like that for a few minutes. I was ready to let go but he obviously wasn't, so I held on, a blush growing on my cheeks. When he finally did release me, he saw me and his ears were dusted pink as well.
I coughed awkwardly, and then stood up, deciding to take initiative.
"Come on, lets go put the wreath up outside," I reached out my hand, which he took, and helped him up. I dropped my hand and started to walk out of my room. He fell into step beside me and bumped my shoulder,
"You're the best Neeks," my heart clenched.

~~

Will had to leave after decorating to get ready for his Christmas night, so I was left to shower, dress and eat my worries all alone. Jenny and Carmen thought our work was incredible, and admired for a few minutes before scurrying back to they're jobs. The turkey smelled amazing, already spiced and put in the oven, and Christmas music was playing from the tv. And I was sitting on a chair in the tv room with a bowl of chocolate that was supposedly for the guests. I was stress eating and couldn't stop. They would be here in less than 5 minutes, and I had forgotten how to speak. I couldn't work my voice. We had cookies and chocolate and chips and fruit out and all the decorations on display (and there was a lot), Jenny and Carmen were finishing getting ready upstairs, everything was clean, but I still felt extremely unprepared.
Then someone knocked on the door and Carmen screeched upstairs.

"FUCK IM NOT READY," she yelled, most likely rushing around her room.
I stood in alarm and shoved two more chocolates into my mouth.
I looked at the stairs with probably a look of terror on my features when Jenny stumbled down, missing the last step and tripping.
The door bell rang this time.

"Coming!" Jenny shouted, recovering. She started over to the door but stopped and came over to me instead. She rubbed my shoulders and then pulled me into the second hug of the day.
"It'll be ok, I promise," she whispered and then ran off to the door. I followed much slower and watched her flatten her red blouse and black pants. I was wearing a dark red dress shirt that Jenny threw at me an hour before because apparently there was a dress code. And a picture. I hate pictures. The shirt was also a size too big on me, as most adult shirts are.
I kept to the side of the tv room and looked around the corner to the doorway that Jenny was mostly covering. She was greeting people and hugging and kissing. I think it was part of Carmen's family, as they all looked a little bit like her, from what I could see. They had dark hair and dark eyes. I'm pretty sure it was her three closest cousins and then a red head guy that was probably one of they're dates. They were all around early to late twenty's from my observations around a corner and mostly blocked sight, but there were two girls, and a guy, and then the red head.

"I'm so glad you guys could make it!" Jenny exclaimed,
"Here, come in out of the cold. How was the drive, was it icy?"
She shut the door and the guests stomped snow off they're winter boots and started to take their coats off.

"It wasn't too bad, but holy crap it's freezing out tonight!" One of the girls, the shorter of the two, said, dark eyes gleaming as she took in the sights around her.

"You can say that again! And Jenny it smells incredible in here, what is going on in that kitchen of yours?" The guy with close cropped hair and definitely the tallest one out of everyone there exclaimed. He looked the oldest out of them all, around the same age as Jenny and Carmen or a bit younger.

"It smells good? That's great, I was worried," Jenny laughed, walking the people in. I felt how the red head guy looked, trailing slightly behind the short girl, looking out of place.

"Where the heck is Carmen, I need to give her a piece of my mind about that book she recommended me a week ago, I cried for hours after I finished it!" The taller girl yelled, clearly hyper and looked the youngest. She also looked a lot like the other girl, so I expected they were sisters.

"She's upstairs, and mind telling her to hurry up and get down here yeah?" Jenny waved at the stairway. The tall girl stomped towards it.

I was still hiding but had to start backing up because they were all walking in, closer to me. I ran back over to my chair as quickly as possible and jumped into it, hopefully without anyone noticing. Thankfully, they were all conversing, the red head guy being introduced as Simon, the shorter girls boyfriend.
I couldn't see, as the back of the chair kept me and my eyes hidden, but the door rang again, this time with a lot more people. They all seemed to come at once, but I heard at least 6 voices, two of which I think were Jenny's parents, Carmen's dad maybe, and someone's grandmother, as well as another two other people. From what I heard everyone was here, and that terrified me.
They all came in, and Carmen and her cousin came down the stairs and joined them all in the kitchen. I felt safe, that maybe they would just forget I was there and I could sneak up to my room without being noticed, but then Jenny had to remember she adopted me.

"Where'd Nico go? He still has to meet all of you!" She exclaimed. I groaned and pulled my legs to my chest. Then I put them down as she walked over to the tv room and looked up at her with pleading eyes. She saw my message but ignored it.

"Come on Nico, it'll be fine, please come meet your new family," she begged, so I took her outstretched hand and sighed.
I followed her into the kitchen where ten adults were standing, and a little girl of about four in a little red dress was on who I presumed was her mother's lap.
Everyone was staring at me with a lot of intrigue. Like I was a new species finally being shown to the world. It made me want to cave into my self and never come back.
My black hair was different than Carmen's family's, who's was more like really dark brown and luscious and big, while mine was dark black, and no where near as beautiful. They also had nice tanned skin and mine was a paled olive shade from rarely going into the sun. They had bright brown and hazel eyes and mine were dull.
Jenny's parents looked like her too, her mom strawberry blonde and her dads hair a sandy colour, both with blue eyes.

"Nico, say hi," Jenny nudged me and I gulped, trying to get the huge lump in my throat to go away.

"Hi," I said quietly. Then they al broke out into chorus of many loud hello's, hi's and hey's.

"Nico, these are my parents, Joyce and Dave," she pointed at the people that were very obviously her parents.
"Then Carmen's dad, Hugo. Her grandmother, Elma, and her brother and his wife, Matías and Diana, also they're daughter Molly," she stopped to let me take in each person. Carmen's dad was also very tall, and had the same features as everyone in Carmen's family. Elma was getting very old, but looked fierce, and her brother, who I would assume was big like his father was smaller, like me (but obviously bigger) and his wife had light brown hair and hazel eyes. They're daughter had the same light brown hair, but her eyes were such a dark brown like her dads they looked black.

"And then Carmen's 3 close cousins, Alexandra," the tallest but youngest one waved,
"Sierra, her boyfriend, Simon, and Gabriel," she introduced them all.

"Hi," I said again, desperately trying to think of what normal people would say.
"I'll probably forget your names, sorry," I tried.

"That's fine honey, this must be a lot to take in huh?" Jenny's mom said, sounding just like Jenny. It was weird. If I saw my mama now would people think I looked or sounded like her? Or Hades for that matter?

"Yeah, It is-" saved by the bell was always going to be my saying, because that's what just happened, and I knew who this person was, and this person was really the only person I wanted to see (again).

"I'll get that, sorry," I apologized but I was the opposite of guilty, whatever that was, because my best friend was here, and he was going to make everything better.
I ran to the door, sliding to a stop with my socks. I threw open the door and hugged Will in the cold because I really couldn't do this.

"Whoa, hi, what's this for," Will chuckled and hugged me back, chin on the top of my head.

"There's a lot of people in there," I whispered and he laughed a little more.

"Well it is Christmas, Nico," he unattached my arms from himself,
"Get inside it's freezing out here," he said, pushing me in the warm house. I then realized that a women, that looked like Will but feminine and with brown eyes, was behind him. His mom, Naomi.
She was smiling at me so I waved hello as Will closed the door behind us.

"H-hi mrs. Solace," I stuttered and she grinned, a warm smile likes Wills.

"Hi Nico, I've heard a lot about you," she replied, and then looked over my shoulder, where Jenny had appeared to greet her best friend.
I let her pass and stood with Will while he took off his boots.
Then he held up a bright yellow gift bag to me, with a card In a black envelope sticking out.

"Here you go sunshine," he said excitedly. My eyes widened, and I put a finger in the air, turned and ran to the stairs, that I took two at a time, into my room, grabbed the equally bright yellow bag and white envelope card and raced back down, past the chatting family and over to Will who was waiting for me in the tv room.
We exchanged gifts, and he made me go first.
I opened the card, not ripping the envelope at all, and pulled out a red and green stripped card, the exact same card I got Will. Same gift bag and card, what are the odds of that?
I laughed and read it,

Nico,
I know we've only known each other for a few months, but it seems like a lot longer, and you have somehow become one of my bestest friends, which is a privilege not many people have. I hope you have a merry merry Christmas!

I smiled at him and then opened the present itself. We said that we wouldn't spend a lot of money considering we both had a limited amount, so they would not be big, but neither of us needed or wanted that.
I took out the black tissue paper wrapped items. Then hesitantly, while looking at Wills excited face, I opened them at the same time.
I revealed the two Jon Bellion CDs that he was begging me to listen to but never had the chance.

"Do you like it?" Will asked expectantly, eyes shining.

"Yes, I love it Will, thank you so much, now open yours," I said and shoved the bag into his lap. He opened the card first, not caring about ripping the packaging, and read my card. He smiled at it and then at me with his warm smile that makes me melt a little bit.
Me and Will talk a lot about our book, tv show, movie, music and literally anything else preferences, so when he took out a book I had ranted about reading not long before at the cafe, he wasn't surprised, but super happy.

"Oh my gosh I had been so excited to read this after you talked about it!" Will exclaimed, clutching A Monster Calls to his chest. I grinned at him, an actual, full length grin. I don't think I had ever smiled so big in my life, and he saw that and stopped.

"Nico I don't think I've ever seen you smile like that, you should do it more," Will complimented, making my smile turn into an embarrassed one, with red on my cheeks.
Will bent forwards and grabbed two chocolates from the bowl they were in and handed me one.
"Merry Christmas Nico," he said lifting his hand in the air.

"Merry Christmas," I knocked my chocolate with his, like a cheers, and then we ate the chocolate together, savouring the sweet taste.

We stood up after deciding we should probably go talk to people, and Will hit his toe on the coffee table,

"FU- LEAPING LIZARDS," Will screeched, holding his toe and biting his lip.

"What the hell, leaping lizards?" I asked, staring at him in bewilderment. He looked up at me in pain.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, I'm on a no swearing diet, because my friend said I swore too much when I was excitedly ranting about something, so I told him that I could not swear for a month, and he obviously bet me. Leaping lizards is a great alternative I found," he explained. I stared at him like he was crazy, because he was, and then walked into the kitchen with him.
It was getting dark out now and Will had to leave any minute, which I was dreading.
Then of course his mom broke the news.

"Ok, I know you don't want to leave, Will, but we have to get to our blood related family dinner," she said over a bunch of conversations going at once. That was the only one I heard.

"Already!? It's been like 20 minutes!" Will said flabbergasted. Naomi shook her head with a smile.

"I told you that we wouldn't be staying long, come on, let's go," she said waving him towards the door.
I followed behind sullenly, not wanting Will to leave me.

He put on his shoes and then turned to me,

"Bye," I said sadly, pleading him with my eyes,

"Don't be sad Neeks, have fun tonight,"

"I'll try," I said, putting my hands in my pockets and rocking on my heels.

"Ok, bye sunshine,"

"Bitch,"

"Shorty,"

"Giant,"

"Nerd,"

"Dork,"

"Memeaholic,"
I couldn't think of another to go back at this,

"I- uh- um- uh- annoying!" Will laughed at me, out the door now,

"Bye Neeks," he closed it, so I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, and walked back over to my new family.

A/n

Hi please don't kill me I know I'm really really late.
Also my Wattpad is like broken rn and won't let me do bold so you can deal with normal.
Small update, I saw Fall Out Boy mania tour and HOLY FUXKING SHIT I WANT TO GO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE IT WAS AMAZING.
I learned today that my uncle literally brushed Arms with Sam Winchester today while on vacation and I just about died because he didn't ask for an autograph, and that a show is being filmed literally like in my back yard forest, and Georgie from IT will be there so guess where I'll be the next couple days?? I'll try and get an autograph but idk if that's even allowed.
Anyways I can't think of anything else that's happened-
NEVER MIND STRANGER THINGS I DIED AND I WONT COME BACK TO LIFE I WATCHED IN LESS THAN TWO DAYS AND I WILL NEVER LIVE AGAIN.

ok bye

Thea