(There is a rather long message at the end of this story that explains my absence in writing and posting - you may ignore this message if you have no desire to know why I have been absent. I hope you enjoy this story anyhow. XD Also, Please leave comments XD )

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Puerile Dreams and Changes

Ash Ketchum, sat at the kitchen table devouring the wonderful dinner his mother had served. His mother sat with him, along with his loyal pokémon friend - Pikachu, and she smiled across the table at him proudly. Mr Mime happily sung as he washed the dishes. The entire affair was comfortingly familiar.

Normal.

Nice.

Ash smiled with his cheeks puffed with food.

Things were great!

A happy simplicity washed over him as he ate, and this well-earned break had been a nice rest from his usual travels. Nothing unusual had transpired for years, and Ash had enjoyed going through the motions that being a pokémon trainer entailed.

It was a fact of life however, that the storm shall come when the skies are calm. Of course it would be as such! Would we notice a sudden storm if we already had one? Are storms not more likely after warmer days? More notable?

It was, perhaps, a flaw of humanity - of any living being, in fact - that when things followed an easy sort of normalcy, when life was undisturbed and became routine, we lower our guard, we forget to be prudent. The same could be said when life swept us up in its deception - when sunny days made us forget that clouds would return, make us forget to keep an umbrella someplace near, the storm catching us off guard quite suddenly.

Then there was adversity.

Adversity breeds change, and without it, there would be no evolution, no questions, no striving for achievements or goals, and no caution.

Ash's life had become routine. He had been swept up in the deception that new locations, new pokémon, new battles and championships generated. His eventual winning, the trip home before starting the cycle all over again... it had, somewhere along the line, morphed into a pattern that had become all too predictable.

The adversity that Ash had once faced as a new ten-year-old trainer, and the years that followed, had simply waned. He found himself unchanging, unchallenged, and his goals lacked any true advancement. It was just more of the same. The cycle had become an easy normalcy. The same actions giving nothing but the same results: Traveling, catching, battling, practising, winning, home.

Routine.

Normal.

It had been Ash's goal to become a pokémon master when he started his journey, but something had gone wrong. As of late, he found himself wondering ... what came next?

It was here, in the eye of his emotional storm, that Ash Ketchum found himself at an impasse with Mewtwo, a very powerful, artificial pokémon, originally created to be the ultimate opponent in battle. A weapon, horribly, and painfully created from the DNA of Mew. A pokémon created to fulfil the greed of humans.

Mewtwo's heart was corrupted with anger at the injustice of his creation, at the greed of man, and of the treatment men had towards pokémon. Mewtwo's self-anointed mission was to free all pokémon from the slavery forced upon them by humans, as such, he was infuriated by Ash's goal to become a pokémon master.

Ash struggled in a futile attempt to free himself from the psychic Pokémon's hold. Mewtwo had him levitated in the air, unable to do anything more than protest vehemently against the accusations against him - that he wanted to control pokémon.

"Pokémon are my friends! You - you misunderstand me!" Ash shouted.

"Do you not force them into Pokémon balls, force them into battle and make them do your bidding?" Mewtwo asked as his way of making a point.

"NO! My pokémon want to battle with me, they want to travel with me!"

"You take them from their homes, force them to battle while you stand giving orders, then throw them away when you grow bored of them or they no longer suit your needs!"

"That's not true!" Ash yelled.

It wasn't true! It wasn't! However, a part of himself sagged when he wondered if that was how his old pokémon felt - abandoned and left behind.

"I have seen your mind." Mewtwo's deep telepathic voice broke through Ash's thoughts. "You cannot deceive me!" Mewtwo spat, dropping Ash to the ground. Ash landed painfully from the sudden drop.

"Pokemon are my friends!" Ash affirmed with as much emotion as he could muster, dragging himself to his feet, swaying with the exhaustion of fighting with the powerful psychic pokémon. "Can't you see that?" Ash pleaded, staring into the psychic pokémon's eyes.

Mewtwo lifted Ash into the air once again, mercilessly using his powers to read Ash's emotions and thoughts - his mind and memories. Ash tried not to scream at the pain, and he yelled loudly when he was dropped for a second time.

Mewtwo suddenly looked confused, the pokémon finally hesitating. "Explain?" Mewtwo demanded.

Ash opted to remain on the ground, he was too exhausted to stand. "Explain? What?"

"You insist that I have misunderstood what it means to be a Pokémon master, and yet, it is my understanding that a master is someone you have to abide. Explain - how - I - am - wrong!"

"I-" Ash suddenly found himself struggling to explain what being a pokémon master actually meant - it shocked him that he hadn't realised it before, but he didn't actually know anymore. Still, he had to try and explain. "I - I wanna be the best there ever was!"

"The best at what?" Mewtwo demanded.

"The best - The best at -." Ash suddenly didn't know...

The best at catching pokémon?
No, that wasn't it. Ash had no desire to 'catch 'em all'. It would be awesome to meet as many as he possibly could though - but he knew that catching them all was impossible, a mere child's dream. The constant new pokémon discoveries, and the abundance of new pokémon data, was practically limitless. Pokémon were as mysterious as the deepest depths of the ocean, as undiscovered as the furthest reaches of the universe. There was also many legendary pokémon that needed freedom to protect the world. Along his journey he'd simply made new friends with pokémon, he'd never tried to catch every pokémon he'd happened upon.

The best at winning pokémon battles?
As much as he enjoyed winning - gaining strength and learning new strategies, proving he could be better, that he was getting stronger with his pokémon - it wasn't all about the winning. Winning battles didn't make you a pokémon master! If that was true, how fickle would his goal be, to lose one battle and no longer be a pokemon master ... nope, that didn't sound right at all. Winning battles just meant you worked well with your pokémon friends, trained hard, and was quick to formulate battle plans.
Besides, why would another trainer working hard enough to beat him be negative? Ash would be happy for another trainer to show such metal, to beat him and show just how much they had bonded with their own pokémon. If you always won, the challenge waned along with the desire to do better ... maybe that was why he had been feeling unsatisfied as of late... he rarely lost.

"The best at what?" Mewtwo repeated impatiently, angrily.

"I don't know! I just wanna be the very best!" Ash shouted under the pressure, but he didn't think that sounded right either.

Mewtwo scoffed, levitating himself higher into the air, well above Ash and into the eye of the storm that surrounded them. "You will never be the best!" Mewtwo said, lifting Ash off the ground once more. "You can not even overcome my powers." Mewtwo then threw Ash into the twisting walls of the merciless hurricane. "There will always be those that you will lose against."

Ash was struggling to even breathe as he sped round, and around, inside the storm of Mewtwo's creation ... and then, there beside him, riding the furious winds as if they were waves one simply surfed - "How do you even measure what the best is?" Mewtwo asked.

Ash had no answer.
He just didn't know anymore.
It was a good question - what did make him the best? What was his end goal? Was there one?

"Pathetic!" Mewtwo said when he failed to answer, swiping his arm through the air.

The storm vanished.

Ash started falling with increasing speed towards the ground below, and then, suddenly, the ground opened up and Ash fell into the black abyss.

Above him, Mewtwo grew smaller and smaller, shrinking until he could no longer see the psychic pokémon, nor the hole in which he had fallen into. Down, down, down he continued to plummet. It felt as if his dreams were toppling down with him.

Ash continued to gained speed until he was falling with such dangerous velocity, faster and faster until he suddenly smashed right into his own conscious.

Ash gasped, bolting upright, his eyes snapping open.
He sighed in relief when the hotel room came into focus.

"Dreaming about your IQ again Ashyboy?"

"Oh, piss off Gary!" Ash said, an automatic response to Gary's teasing these days.

Gary was one of his best friends, but teasing was usually the prick's way of caring. Gary just chuckled though, re-focused on his laptop, and obviously working on their Mewtwo and Mew research. Gary had already made his own single bed, had already packed up ready for the day's journey, and the git was sitting at the desk by the window.

Ash hopped down from his bed, grabbed some clean clothes, and then made his way into the bathroom. As he went through the motions of his normal morning routine, he thought about that blasted dream.

He'd had the same dream before, nearly every night since he'd returned home nearly a month ago, after his last League win. It had been fuelled by the realisation that his childhood dreams/goals just didn't make sense anymore.

Finally ready, Ash stated that he was going to collect Pikachu from downstairs, go for a short walk, and then get breakfast before returning.

"Grab me a cinnamon roll from Lova's bakery, will ya?" Gary never took his eyes off the laptop. "And a coffee too."

"Sure." Ash said, closing the door behind him as he left.

Ash took his time as he walked down the corridor and caught the elevator down.
He sighed.
He wasn't a kid anymore.

Ash knew he had to decide what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, but it was hard to say good bye to old dreams. He had no ideas about what he wanted to do next. That's one of the reason why he had volunteered to come with Gary on his research mission, to discover more about Mew and Mewtwo, and their DNA connection. It was something different. Ash was finding it interesting, and it somewhat satisfied his need for adventure, and his need to see new pokémon, but he wasn't as studious as Gary, nor one to sit and read for hours. All that typing too... blegh!

Ash entered the pokémon retreat suite - a hall of sorts that provided the pokémon with various forms of enjoyment, stimulation, and relaxation - he greeted Viola, the Pokémon creche worker, then called for his Pikachu over the noise of all the playful pokémon.

Pikachu slid to the end of the little slide he'd been on, stopped at hearing his name, and looked around. Pikachu then smiled brightly when he saw his trainer, Ash. The Emolga that Pikachu had been playing with, slid down the slide and crashed into the back of him, followed by the little Helioptile. Cottonee floated above them laughing.

"Time to go bud!" Ash called, chuckling at the Pokémon's mini pile up.

Pikachu waved good bye to his new friends before bounding over and leaping up into Ash's arms. "Hey Pikachu! Looks like you've been having a lot'a fun with the other pokémon?"

"Pi, Pika chu!" Pikachu nodded.

"That's great. I'm glad for ya, buddy."

Pikachu rode on Ash's shoulder as they left the hotel and walked outside.

Ash paused just outside the hotel doors, his eyes closed as he listened to the wind. Things were going to change, and he would go where the wind took him.

"Pika?" Pikachu queried, sensing Ash's change on mood.

"It's okay, Pikachu." Ash said, rubbing Pikachu under the chin.

Ash just knew that everything would be alright, that it would all work out in the end. He also knew that, wherever he went from here, whatever he chose to do next, Pikachu would always be by his side.

"Come on, let's go get breakfast. I don't know about you but I'm starving!"

"Pikachu!" Pikachu agreed.

As they walked away from the hotel and towards Lova's bakery, Ash left his old dreams behind. In time, he would figure out what came next, and he would keep on moving forward. That was the most important thing, to keep going onwards and to keep on living.

Ash would make new dreams, he would find a new path, and whatever that was...
He would be the best that he could be!

END
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Now my message - for those of that wish to read.
To all my dear readers and followers.

My absence and lack of story advancement (in all my stories/fandoms) is due to many reasons, however,
I have not abandoned you or my stories. I am so very sorry for the lack of updates, and before I start this very short story, I'd like to briefly try and explain what has been happening, and my plans going ahead.

Having undergone a few operations a while back, including one to remove a tumor that was growing at the top of my spine and just into my head, I was initially set back in my writing. It took ages to regain some normalcy and regain my mental capacity. My brain felt scrambled - for lack of a better term.

Then my life grew rather manic when my fiancé (from America) started his visa application to migrate here to the UK. We had cats to migrate to, belongings to ship over, and heaps of paperwork to fill out. We also had a wedding to plan. After 8/9 years of being in a long-distance relationship, we finally had solid time to share together, and before he would eventually be permitted to work in the UK, and alas, start working, we were determined to spend that time together! The stories were delayed again, and I am not ashamed to have put them second to my husband! I am, however, sorry that I left my readers without new chapters.

Other things then distracted me: Decorating, hospital appointments, having to care for extra pets... all the small things that add up until you realise... where did the time go? In the evenings I wanted to be with my husband, and we would cook together, eat together, spend a little time together, and then we would retreat to bed. I only have so much energy, being disabled, and my time was being taken up by other things.

My writing was always there, calling me, lol. When I finally started working on new chapters for all four of my current stories, I realised I had forgotten so many details. I, therefore, had to re-read a lot of my work, re-plan, make notes, do research, etc. It was tedious but I was getting back on track and eventually made A LOT of progress. In fact, I was nearly ready to post up some new chapters.

Then, my husband and I went to Liverpool for the Pokémon regional event at the Albert docks in January 2023. We had a great time, and as I was a spectator, not a participant like my husband, I took my laptop in order to work on some stories...

...Event over, we traveled home. When we were unpacking, I could not find my laptop. It was gone!

I was horrified, shocked, depressed!

I now have a new laptop - but I had not backed up my data in over a year. I had lost all of my story progress. I even received a new hard drive at Christmas, to back up my data, so I was, and still am, kicking myself for not backing things up before our trip. I am so upset, and quite frankly, lost. I am depressed at how badly I screwed up. Having autism to boot... well, it made things very difficult for me as my plans, lists, budgets, and basically everything I needed was on that laptop.

All gone!

The worst was that I used to back things up religiously... but in the manic of my life, I had neglected to do so.
I am fuming with myself!!!

I DO plan to finish all the stories I have started, one day, hopefully before next year, but I lost all my will to even look at them right now. Every time I look and am reminded at how much work I have lost, I can't help but hate myself again and start crying. My stories mean a lot to me, and my husband is kind enough to proof read them for me too, so I am so distraught. Writing is hard for me, having learning difficulties and needing to take the extra time to wright each sentence etc, and so you can imagine how much work it takes me to do each chapter, to find the right words and spelling. It has been painful to lose it all. I am sure, once the pain has lessened, however, that I will find the desire to finish them. I just cannot put into words how much this has hit me, and it may seem such a small thing to most, but to me ... to me, it has slapped me down.