hello, friends!

i can't breathe.

"i really need that water, wesley." i croak, my throat cry. my hand is on my chest, i'm breathing heavily.

in, out, in, out. i tell myself as i try to regulate my breathing long enough to figure out how this came to be. there was a power outage! how is there footage of us and who would do such an awful thing as to giving it to the news station?

"right right, of course." he scrambles to get up, leaving his phone.

my lips are parted as i stare at the screen. the volume is down so all i see is a woman not much older than me mourning words with a maliciously devious look in her eye as if she's got the story of the year.

which i'm sure she very well might.

my hands inch toward the device as if it's hot, my fingers pushing it towards me before warily turning the volume up just loud enough for me to hear.

"- in his office! after the father of ceo jared ward's sudden death, it seems the pain of such a loss is manifesting in some interesting ways; although unoriginal. though the face of our mystery woman is obscured-" she laughs darkly, "we have a clip of the two or them leaving the building together last night." it cuts to a blurry of jared with his arms around me. he was simply making sure i didn't fall but from an outsider's perspective, it looks like we're making a fast getaway and getting cozy while doing so.

i close my eyes and groan, a headache coming on. "this can't be happening."

"and these were taken just this morning outside of one of mr ward's residences." my eyes widen and i feel my stomach flip when i see several photos of me leaving jared's condo this morning. have people been following me? how? why?

"miss symphony harris, mr ward's personal assistant, leaving his city condo wearing the same clothes as she was the night before. coincidence? we think not." the clip ends and i suddenly feel so does life itself.

i always thought as a teenager it was a little dramatic to say, "my life is over," after a big terrible event happens. but that was when it was a bad haircut or rejection from the cute guy in homeroom - not this. my entire job, my relationship with my parents; life as i know it is truly over. things can never be the same.

the whole world - or those who know who jared ward is - think i slept with my boss. how will i ever live this down?

i barely notice the rushed footsteps coming towards the table. then a glass being set in front of me. my glassy eyes stare blankly down at the table. maybe if i just sit here and stare forever, i'll have to confront this. i'll never have to see the affect of it.

but that's impossible.

so i look up, making eye contact with the man himself. he's looking at me like i'm a wounded animal, like i'll get up and run at any second. which makes me even more furious. i'm guessing he can see the sudden rage welling up within me because his eyes widen slightly.

"please allow me to explain." he rushes, holding his hands up.

i say nothing, i only pick up my water and take a large swig.

he must take this as permission because he continues, "i'm sorry i'm late. i was...held up."

"that's why you think i'm upset?" i seethe.

he blinks at me, "you know."

"yes." i respond, crossing my arms.

"i was hoping i could tell you myself, i'm so terribly sorry." he pleads.

i throw my head back and laugh darkly, "why? what would it have helped? everyone has seen that clip, jared. everyone knows we - they think we. . ." i pause, looking down and fighting tears which makes this all more embarrassing. "how am i supposed to face people now?"

jared gains a sort of forlorn expression, his shoulders hunched forward as if he's been defeated. "i wanted to tell you because i didn't want you to think i was aware or ... responsible, i'm not sure. either way, i give you my deepest apologies. we will fix this, i promise." his hand twitches as if he wants to reach for my hand but stays where it is. i almost wish he would but i know there's probably some creep waiting to take a picture.

my posture softens and sigh, my head downcast and my hair falling around my face. "i really though i was making something of myself. the lead assistant to a well known ceo." i speak quietly, "but now i'm just a woman who hooked up with her boss. how am i supposed to be taken seriously again, jared? how will i get another job without men thinking they can take advantage of me?" my voice breaks. i wish could stop the tears but i can't. which only makes me more frustrated.

this time he does reach forward and i feel his warm palm atop my hand as i cry.

"i'll tell them it was my fault. i'll tell them i kissed you and you only reciprocated out of...i don't know - fear or obligation." he sounds desperate, his voice tight.

i almost laugh aloud at the insanity of it all.

"jared, no." i meet his eyes, my cheeks wet. "lying will only make it worse."

"what then? i don't want to ruin your reputation, harris."

"it's too late for that." i stare out the window. snow is falling again stop the pavement. that's the beautiful thing about snow. it falls and lands where it may then it's stomped on, dirty, scattered, and melted. then it's just laid anew; as if it never changed.

"would you go back and...do things differently?" he asks me as if reading my mind.

this makes me think. at first i almost give a quick and obvious answer. that, yes, i would go back and i would scream at myself that it's not worth it.

then i dare to look up at the man across from me. the man i so feared and misunderstood not long ago. i study his face, his genuine concern and curiosity. i think back to all of the small moments with him that added up to now. the little moments that lead to his lips on mine in the dark, the feeling of being close to him, close enough to smell the cologne on his suit and for my clothes to smell like it even after we parted.

then i'm not so sure.

"no." i confess, pulling his earnest gaze. his eye are rich and dark. i see no confusion or flight emotion in them. almost as if he's unmoved in this moment.

"and neither would i." those words alone seem to melt away the stress and fear. or at least lessen it do a dull ache instead of a full on attack.

we both sit in this exchanged words for a moment almost like we need to allow them to ruminate in our minds before we can move forward.

"so...what does this mean? what do we do now? i finally ask him quietly, suddenly very aware of all of the eyes on us as we sit here together. i briefly wonder if every person i here has seen that clip. the thought alone makes me sick to my stomach in humiliation.

jared's eyes dart around the room as well, leaning in closer. "i think first things first we should get away from prying eyes and ears." his voice is just shove a whisper. i simply kid and immediately stand up.

suddenly wesley is here again, looking confused.

"you're leaving?" he only looks at me. out of the colter of my eye i can see jared's stare rest on him.

i force a smile and pull on my coat, "yes, i'm so sorry. thank you for the water and ... it was good to see you. good luck with everything."

he stands there with his lips slightly parted before his head slowly turns to jared who is still holding a steady hard gaze his way. the air gets thick and i slowly glance between the two of them.

"i get the feeling you've got something you'd like to say?" jared's voice is low but still draws eyes. i reach out to grab his arm to warn him when i spot someone pull their phone out a few tables away. why can't people just mind their own business? i suppose these days that's too much to ask.

wesley's eyes narrow even further and i spot his hands clench into fists. "i just want to know if it was worth it."

"if what was worth it." jared's tone is even and controlled but i can see the annoyance flickering across his face.

"if throwing yourself at her was worth humiliating symphony in front of the entire city - possibly the country." he spits. now people are wide eyed and silent, trying to hear what's happening.

"you guys, you're drawing more attention just please stop." i whisper, my face hot.

i look up and watch as a fire ignites behind jared's eyes and he takes a step forward. he's only about an inch taller than wesley but the energy seeping off of him is pure intimidation, even i get chills.

"i don't think i'm the one who threw myself at her, buddy." he speaks calmly, "i saw you with her. at the gala. it was a really sad to witness, actually." my eyes widen.

"jared." i pull him back, watching with sad eyes as wesley's lock on me, his face flushed red. the last thing i want to do is hurt him further but it's like the man is glued to the floor. jared won't back down; at least not until wesley does.

"well at least i didn't ruin her career." wesley's voice raises and i start hearing mutterings around us. i see another waitress flagging down a manager.

"jared." i say again, "let's just go." my voice is desperate. wesley could lose his job and it would be all my fault. he grabs my hand but doesn't move from his spot.

"if you're jealous just say so."

"what's there to be jealous of? you think you can actually be with her? after what you did to her?" wesley's face contorts in condescension. my heart rate picks up even further. good lord could this day get any worse?

jared head slowly turns to me as if this comment got to him, his gaze not meeting mine, before he turns back to wesley.

"even if that's true...yes. yes, it was worth it." and with that, he pulls me by the hand and we're quickly walking out of the building. i risk a glance back at wesley and shoot him an apologetic look, shaking my head to express my regret. he just stared back at me blankly until his manager taps him on the shoulder. a pang shoots through my heart.

what have i done?

we're in jared's car but i don't know where we're going. where can we even go? apparently we're being followed and watched at all hours of the day somehow someway. the thought makes my skin crawl. i knock my head against the car window with a groan.

"i doubt a concussion atop everything else will do you much good, harris." jared tries with a smile.

i release a tired laugh, my head leaning back against the head rest. "i don't know what would do any good right now, quite honestly." he goes quiet at this, "where are we going?" i add.

"back to the office." he says reluctantly, "we're getting you to your car and you're going home."

i stare out the window, nearly wanting to argue and then deciding against it, i'm so tired and overwhelmed. i think home is exactly where i need to be.

but then i think of my parents and my stomach does a flip. "oh no." i feel my skin flush.

"you don't look so good." his voice is tight with concern, "do you need me to pull over?"

i shake my head with my eyes closed, breathing in through my nose and out of my mouth to force away the nausea. "my parents specifically warned me about this. they're going to kill me."

i watch his face go white and i wonder if that's how i look. i never thought i'd see the aloof and detached mr ward get so bent up over the thought of upsetting my father.

"i suppose i consider your father seeing it."

i press the heals of my hands against my eyes with a pained moan. "this is so embarrassing."

he pauses.

"you are an adult if i may say so, harris. it's not like they can really scold you or i."

"do you really believe that or are you trying to convince yourself?" i give him a pointed look as we start and stop in the busy city traffic, snow still falling outside onto the streets.

"most likely a little of both." he has the audacity to laugh which pulls a reluctant smile onto my lips.

"that's what i thought." a chuckle escapes me as i lean my head in the chilly window.

oh how my life has changed in the last few months. i find myself missing my best friend. i wonder what lillian would say if she saw me now. i highly doubt she'll see the clip unless i show her. her and dakota don't pay much attention to all of the ins and outs of the social or business world.

we finally pull into the car park and i spot my car, pulling my keys from my coat pocket.

"well...thanks for the ride." i tell him, opening the door. i'm about to close it and make a dash to escape the cold winter air when he stops me.

"wait." he speaks, "let me come with you. let me explain...and perhaps take the heat off of you." his deep brown eyes pleaded with me. which is the only reason i say,

"alright."