Puns 1-10

Topic: Food

 - When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.  

- Spoiler alert! The milk has been in the fridge for three weeks.  

- The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but the fire trucks ruined it.  

- Smoking will kill you... Bacon will kill you... But, smoking bacon will cure it.  

- I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.  

- I entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

- I'm going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&M's because let's be honest here.  

- One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast.

-Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she's doing.

-Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.