Ballet

"She was brave and strong and broken all at once"
- Anna Funder

Mariana's POV

"The ballet?" I asked, scoffing
"It's what Lizzie wants" Tommy said
"And what the wife wants, she shall get" I said
"Precisely" he mumbled, sifting through files on his desk
I was wary to be back in the House of Commons

I didn't want to run into that demon he was dealing with
But I needed a signature and Tommy... Tommy seemed as thought he needed a drink
He didn't look right
"Are you well?" I asked
"No, I haven't been well for a while" he said

"Tommy"
"Tommy" I said again, he stopped, looking up
"What?" He asked, taking his glasses off
I shouldn't
He didn't deserve it
My sympathy
My compassion

He didn't deserve my concern
"What is the matter?" I asked against my better judgement
"Nothing" he dismissed
"Tommy" he sighed, seemingly frustrated

"You ever feel as though you never outran it" he said
"Outran what?" I asked
"The past, your blood" he clarified
"All the time" I said honestly
"You can't outrun blood Thomas, it's who we are" I said

"Then what? I'm destined to die without my mind, the way my mother did?" He questioned
"I should have died many times in my life now Tommy, death is not what you should fear" I said
"It isn't. It's insanity" he said
"We're all insane" I said
"I'm not. I wasn't" he said

"I know. Me and Arthur we... we struggle. But you... you think you do not" I said
"I don't" he insisted
"Tommy, stop taking whatever it is you're taking, you'll feel better in the long run" I said
"Why do you care?" He asked

"Because I know what you did for me, back then, you had my back, you and Freddie... we helped each other no matter what, before all the money, all the shit and all the... power. You were my friend" I said

"I was more than a friend" he said
"You were my first love Tommy, that doesn't hold as much merit as you think it does" I said
"It does to me" he said
"You will always hold merit to me" he said
"Then I would hate to see what you do to someone who doesn't" I said

"Stop taking shit, I can tell you from experience, taking pills you don't need never ends well, and not taking pills you do need ends even worse" I advised, readying to leave

"Do you miss him? Alfie?" He asked out of nowhere
"All the time" I said
"Even on the terms you ended up in?" He asked
"Yes. He was my husband, I love him, he... I'd give anything just to..." I didn't want to say it
That I would give anything just to say sorry to him

"Stop taking it Tommy" I said instead

•

Lizzie Stark's birthday celebrations used to be shots in the Garrison
Celebrating another year of shit we got through and proud of her for not fucking John behind his wife's back.

Now. Now I stood on the vast land of Thomas Shelby OBE's estate. Watching ballerinas prance around and many men with wives too young for them sauntering around in suits to impress the boy I once called a friend
Family.

Now... now was Lizzie Shelby's birthday, adorned in crystals and gems, silk and gloves.
A woman of her house.
No longer a woman of the night

"You look beautiful as always" I told Polly
"I know" she smiled, Aberama Gold hanging off her arm like... a frog turned into a prince

"Big night" I commented
"Yes, does Tommy do anything else now?" She jested
"I suppose you're right" I said
"Has Michael taken his new position well?" I asked
"I wouldn't know, he told me he would ask his wife" she said

I glanced over at him and Gina

"Ah" I nodded, before dismissing myself and making my way to Tommy's office
This would be a shit night.
I knew it, it was a gut feeling.

I got a drink from Tommy's cabinet
Whiskey. To calm my nerves.
Tommy was no where to be seen, most likely staking his claim in the wife
I'd seen Mosely turn up outside
And I... I guess I was hiding from it all.

"Ah, finally, someone I know" Mosely spoke up, interrupting my peace
I closed my eyes briefly, I'd been found
He shut the door, which didn't settle well with me

"The host is... indisposed I hear" he said
"Most likely" I commented, swinging side to side slowly in Tommy's chair, heels on the desk.
"I was not announced at the door" he went on
"Nope, you're spending the evening with... dirty gypsies I believe you called us to Tommy, we do not announce anyone" I said.

"I met a woman, she referred to herself as royalty" he said
"That will be Polly Gray" I said uninterested
"She offered me drugs. Drugs and whores" he said
"That is the Shelby way" I said politely
"She told me everything was available. Except a ballerina" he explained, nearing me

"They hire certain women for the needs you wish to fulfil, pick one you li-"
I began to explain, getting up ready to leave, but as I stepped past him he pushed me against Tommy's window
"You are not available then? You are also royalty amongst gypsies?" he asked, a strong grip on my arm that he had twisted behind my back

I tried to keep my breathing normal, my face pushed against the glass
"Let me go" I said
"I wish to have a pleasant evening, your host has not shown an ounce of class, punctuality or hospitality" he mused slowly, his mouth against my head

Talking into my hair before he slowly smelled my hair
I took a breath, before I spun out of his grip and elbowed him in the stomach, shoving him away quickly as I pulled my gun out, pointing it at his head

He said nothing, merely caught his breath as he straightened his posture
"You are a guest of Tommy's, and so I will respect his wishes, but if you touch me again, I will cut your fucking hands off, allo vai na, tu chi mai mekesa ma pale!" I said strongly.

'Ally or not, you will not fucking touch me again!'

The door opened
And Tommy stood somewhat surprised
"Mar" he said, wariness settling in his voice
"Escort your guest out Tommy, before he loses his hands. I have already been courteous enough to not mark his face" I warned him
I refused to address him any further. I knew it would piss him off
Mosley looked at Tommy, before tightly smiling
"You did not welcome me upon my arrival" he said

Tommy's gaze flickered to me. Then to him
"I apologise, I was caught up, please" he said, gesturing out the door
Mosley fixed his suit, throwing me a smirk
"We must talk, before we dabble in the high class entertainment of the evening" he said.
Tommy looked at me

In the way he used to. Asking if I was okay
I just nodded once, walking past both of them
"For the record, yes. I am royalty" I said simply before leaving
Then I rushed to the kitchens
Past maids and servants
To the back of the house, locking myself in the bathroom
I needed a moment. A moment alone. A moment... safe.

"Dove"
I looked up, before I closed my eyes, trying not to cry as I slid down to the floor
He was back
Back in my head
"Dove are you okay?" He asked.

Tommy's POV

"Now perhaps you could introduce me to your wonderful wife" he smiled.
I looked at him
"You want to threaten me" he chuckled
"For before" he said
I put the cheque he signed in the drawer, locking it

"No" I said simply
"She is quite something, Mariana. I'm curious why you let her go" he asked
"Let us get a drink, I will introduce you to my wife" I said, standing up

"You avoid talking of her. Is that a concern?" He asked
"We do not frequent each other's company anymore" I said simply
"No, maybe I will start to frequent her company" he said

"I'm sure Miss Gray has already told you what is on offer to you tonight" I said
"Yes, she did" he said
"Right, well Mariana, is not one of the things on offer" I said decisively
"Why not?" He asked
"Because she isn't" I said

"Ah, the equality for all Mr Shelby, I admire your attitude. But a woman like that. A woman like that is not worth respecting" he said
"Let's have a drink" I said sternly, opening the door waiting for him.

Mariana's POV

After nearly crying in the bathroom and an awkward encounter between Lizzie and Oswald, things were slowly getting back on track
I was going to stay out here, amongst people
"To the end of our deal, and the beginning of something more, happy birthday Lizzie" Tommy said, raising a glass

"This way" Tommy tried to usher Mosley
"Might Mariana escort me? As we both seem to be without a date" he suggested
Tommy looked at me, as did Polly. With wary eyes
"Of course" I said, linking my arm in his, leading him off to the stupid fucking dance.

"You look radiant" he said
"Thank you" I struggled out
"I make you nervous?" He questioned, running his fingertips over goosebumps that ran along my arm
I shoved his hand away
"You make my skin crawl, there's a difference" I said, leaving him by his seat.

"You will not sit with me?" He asked
I ignored him, something I'm sure hurt his ego as I found my own seat.
I was only sat for 3 minutes or so, before Finn whispered in my ear
"Tommys moved you" he said
"What?" I asked

Landing me right back next to Oswald. Exactly what he wanted
Why was Tommy giving him what he wanted?
At my expense
Was it to please him? Or to drive his attention away from Lizzie?
Either one was wrong to me.

Now I sat beside the devil.

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