Fred: Where does the new kid come from?

Harry: Alaska

Fred: Don't bother, I'll ask her myself.

Teacher: "Kids, it's better to fail than to cheat."

Me: "Please, it's better to cheat than to repeat."

Me: "Mom, Look!"

Mom: "That's cool sweetie"

Me: "Yeah, it must be pretty cool. Considering you didn't even turn to look at it!"