"I look like a white Asian"

"[Name] was my slave in Ancient Civ class." "Well, everyone has a purpose."

"Why does the difference go in the division house?"

"My milk is leaking."

"MY SPINE IS GONE"

"I won't call you fat, but I'll call you stupid."

"Stop silently judging me. I don't like how it sounds."

"I blew her eyes!"

"105, pizza!"