My scars are there for me to see
Every time I use the bathroom the remind me of how weak I am
All I can think about is my future children asking their mommy why she's all scarred up and where they came from
About how when they get older they'll realize that their mom was a messed up teenager
And how in a few years when I date someone in real life they will see me scars and and say "dam she's such a fuck up." And it scares me. Even now my little sister looks at them curiously
"What happened there?" She ask.
"Nothing." I say turning away from her.
It hurts
All the time
It hurts that my own mom doesn't trust me
She looks at my legs with worry
Or that my bands on my wrist get snapped like it's a joke
Or that the one I keep in my leg hurts me sometimes
I'm going to stop
I will get through this
This is a new year
This is a birthday resolution I won't break.