c h a p t e r 9
w e e n e r w h i n e r
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NATASHA'S POV

"Why are your hands pink?" Ester asked as soon as she walked into the bathroom, with Kate and Selen in tow. Ester's brows wrinkled as she took in my appearance.

"That's a very good question," I said.

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E a r l i e r

"Want to exchange my pastry for your chips?" I asked Parul Patel, eyeing the bag of salty goodness in her hands. She immediately passed me her chips and I gave her my pastry.

The brief break before yet another three hours straight of torture classes like Math, Science and History begged me to savor every minute of this short recess, and nothing sounded better to my soul than the idea of trying to get my hands on the big bag of chips.

Time really flies fast here. It's almost been half a month since I first set foot here and I still wasn't used to the way this whole boarding system worked. For starters, throughout the day there's a certain kind of hostility in the air, as the whole school gets divided according to the three groups: boarders, hostelers, and day scholars.

Like stupid kindergarten style, boarders sit with boarders; hostelers with hostelers; and day scholars with day scholars.

It's even more ridiculous that the said three groups were further divided by houses, making borders sit with girls from their own house while hostelers sit with girls from the same hostels.

Thank God at least the day scholars weren't divided according to who lives near their house radius-that would just be pathetic.

Even though I somehow got the seating arrangement part, it was the recess that completely threw me off. For the past 15 minutes or so of the short break, all the division seemed to have completely vanished.

Parul Patel, a hosteler, was sitting beside us on the nicely maintained school lawn, animatedly chatting and sharing her large bag of chips with me; in the morning, she wouldn't even so much as look at me.

So yeah. This whole system was absolutely absurd.

"Okay. That's two minutes way past the bell; please let's just go now. I don't wanna be late for Mrs. Stephani's class," Kate whined for the eighth time, finally succeeding in pulling our asses off of the ground.

Sighing at her complaining tone, I got up and had no choice but to follow the rest of the girls.

Parul started ziplocking the bag of chips but I snatched it off her hands with a smile and walked ahead.

"We exchanged. Remember?" I threw her a wink and linked my hands with Ester.

As soon as we entered our class, I impulsively picked up my bag from under my seat and exchanged it with Jeselin's bag. She's a girl from Ruby House. Tossing her bag beside Selen and on my previous seat, I sat down next to Ester.

I got a few scandalous looks from the rest of the girls, but I ignored them and opened the bag of chips. I offered some to Ester and started munching on them loudly, right when Mrs. Kreme walked in.

The girls immediately stood up to greet her but I stayed put, easily the odd one out of the bunch.

Mrs. Kreme gave me a stink eye while she gestured for the girls to take their seats. "The break time is over, Ms. Grazer." She crossed her arms and gave me a condescending look.

Still ignoring her, I pulled out three big chips and shoved them in my mouth before replying to her. "Does this face look like it cares?" I mumbled in between bites, pointing at my face with a handful of chips.

I liked Mrs. Kreme; she was just like my aunt. She too had a ticking vein throbbing in her neck whenever she got angry, exactly like my aunt.

Man, I should call her this Sunday instead of Mom. Or just leave a string of curses or some shitty message.

Mrs. Kreme let out an impatient sigh, but I even wiggled my eyebrows to piss her off more. As expected, she didn't waste a second and kicked me out of class. "Out, Natasha."

And that my friends is how you get yourself out of a Math class. Take note, folks. Buddha-level wisdom being distributed here.

After the Math class, I applied the same tactics in Science and History lectures, too. During Science, I kept on screaming "LOL!" after every sentence that Mr. Mergil spoke, and in History, I stood up on my desk and claimed Mrs. Stephani was an "Illuminati worshipper". It gave me free time to roam around the school grounds like a free bird, while occasionally wishing for the time to move in a faster pace.

People really had no respect for creative people. All my ingenious pranks-be it color-dyeing the uniforms and locking all the staff in the principal's office, or sucking the life out of all my teachers by irritating them to hell-had unfortunately gotten me a month-long detention of community service.

Today being the first day of that punishment, I had to head straight over to the St. Parletine Church after lunch. The only reason I wasn't rolling on the floor throwing a sissy fit, was because it meant skipping prep time. I would gladly give up my dignity to spare myself two hours of sitting in a desk to complete homework.

However, I did realize that overconfidence really wasn't good for the health. I should have known better than to think Ms. Famina would continue to not punish me. Maybe somewhere I did want to find out how far she would let me take things before she got a nervous breakdown. If truth be told, I only expected some earful and lots of extra homework-not community service for an entire month.

I cursed aloud and kicked at a nearby pot, immediately breaking it in two. My glances roamed around to see if anyone was paying attention to me, but I saw no one.

Why was I still here?

I picked up my bag that was discarded on the ground and headed straight for the boarding house. In the dormitory, I changed into a pair of faded gray dungaree shorts which I paired with a striped full-sleeved tee, then headed to the dinner hall.

There was half an hour left before the last class ended and the kitchen staff still seemed to be busy in preparation. The smell of cinnamon filtered the air, accompanied by the sound of vessels. I went straight to the counter, snatching a tray from a pile, and walked over to where Joshua and Lirima, the fabulous chefs of St. Mary's, still worked side by side near the stove.

"Again early? Why you not stay in class?" Lirima placed her hands on her waist, giving me a concerned look. When I laughed and pinched her chubby pink cheeks, she pushed my hands away and took my tray.

She plated some salad, veggies and bread rolls along with some extra gravy; she knew I liked more gravy in my food. Joshua taunted me with a big spoon of rice, but I grabbed the tray from Lirima and ran to my table. Halfway through, I realized I forgot dessert so I went back to the left side of the counter.

"Rice is good for your health, you know." Joshua spoke to me while stirring the rice.

I stuck out my tongue in reply and grabbed a bowl to place my dessert-a simple cinnamon custard. I hated rice like mice hated cats. All my life, irrespective of what someone added or paired it with to make it more flavored or tasty, I always found rice bland, chalky, and so not worth putting in my mouth.

"Wait-" Joshua poured a spoonful of chocolate over my custard and placed a finger on his lips.

I smiled and quickly dashed away before Lirima caught us. Though unexpected, I had formed a special bond with almost all the staff and other members of this school.

Lirima and Joshua, knowing my habit, would always save me some breakfast in the morning and put extra spices in my veggies and meat. Joshua would even give me special treats in the desserts, like adding another mouthwatering element to the mix. Samuel and Brina, the cleaning staff, would also let me goof around with their chemicals and not question why I was stealing away with some bleach.

Even the nuns from time to time let me dance around in their praying foyer, or openly yell and complain to the Crucified Jesus statue whenever my day had gone extra rough. Frankly, I just really enjoyed their silent, non-judgmental company.

The custard had settled in my contented tummy as I headed to the back of the kitchen to wash my dish and bowl. I then gently placed it on the counter and walked back out. "Thanks, guys," I said with a nod to the chefs. Then I hurried back to the dormitory to swap my flip-flops for a pair of black Converse, and the rest of the girls got ready for lunch.

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After tying my hair up in a messy ponytail, I picked up a broom, mop and a bucket from the supply closet at the back of the church and stalked towards the back door. Trying to balance out the mop and broom in my hands became a challenge and I pushed open the door without even looking.

A thud and a groan instantly followed from behind the door. I rushed inside to take a peek around.

On the floor of the church lay Blaze, clutching his head. How had he managed to fall ass-first right into the bucket? And now he seemed to be stuck in it!

I erupted into laughter.

"Are you blind?" He glared and tried get up from the floor.

"With a face like yours around? I wish." I threw back a smirk. No doubt he must have gotten the same punishment for the prank he pulled, too, but I would have preferred not seeing him this soon.

"Says the one who looks like her hair and face had a fight and both lost," Blaze said while dusting his jeans.

"Please...I wasn't born with a face of a dog, unlike you," I quickly retorted with a scowl. How dare he call me ugly!

"No. You were just born with a naturally bitchy attitude." He crossed his arms, taking a stance as if seeing him this confident would faze me.

As if! It was on like Donkey Kong!

"Thanks. Being a bitch is a tough job. You, on the other hand...I'm really trying to imagine you with a personality but..." I pretended to look for something, then faked a disappointed look. "Nope."

"Glad to see you take so much interest in me." Blaze took a step towards me with his stupid smirk, but I wasn't going to back down that easily.

"Please..." I took a step forward, too, meeting his glare with my own. "I find a packet of half-eaten Cheerios more interesting than you," I said.

"Ahh...that explains why your ass is so fat." He sneered again, making me imagine an anvil falling over his head. Loony Tunes-style.

Sigh. If only!

"Were you born like this? Or did you study to become such a spectacular asshole?" I asked, now getting a bit irritated by the constant yapping of his mouth. Someone hand me a duct tape now.

"Oh. I'm sorry I didn't get that; I don't speak idiot." The jerk shrugged his shoulders and ran a lazy hand through his hair.

"It's called sarcasm, which is like the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence. Really understandable. But, I'm actually not surprised you don't even get it." I snorted.

"D'you come up with that after a thousand sleepless nights or did you just Google it?" He was mocking me now. Of course.

This guy was impossible. "Why don't you go and fuck yourself?" I hissed in his face, unable to tolerate more of his imbecility. How does this guy find ways to constantly irk me?

"So you admit you finally ran out of arguments." Blaze leaned closer to me to smile right in my face.

However, I was determined to get the final word and make it count. "No. Just trying to make you realize what a disappointment you are." I smirked and took a step closer to him.

Two steps more and we'd be in close proximity from each other. Just plain awkward. Even though my heart was telling me to take a step back, I ordered my feet to stay fixed on the floor. I would not back away no matter what. I was going to end this.

"Honey, if you wanted to get in my pants, there's better ways of asking." He dared to take another step forward, no doubt wanting to throw me off with his smugness.

But I had something entirely different in my mind. I clutched the broom and mop and gave him a dazzling carefree smile. "Oh-I'll remember that if ever I need to point out the smallest thing in the world." I turned around in haste, and my ponytail slapped his arrogant face while a million-dollar-smile broke my face.

Not wanting to give him a chance to respond, I headed straight towards the elderly guy in charge, who had instructed me to get the mops and other cleaning stuff from the supply room.
I cast a quick glace behind me.

Blaze was walking slowly as if in a daze, thrown off no doubt by getting bitch-slapped by my hair.

"Alright, you two. Make sure the whole place is nicely cleaned up but please stay away from the left side wing-" the guy in-charge said while he pointed towards the direction. "As you can see, it's under renovation. All the equipment, among other things, are still lying around, so..." He proceeded to one of the benches, picked up a piece of paper and turned to us. "You have one hour before the Father and the community heads come to see the progress of the renovations. Be done by then."

I glanced to my side to check on Blaze. Then the man in-charge gave us one last look before he walked away holding the piece of paper, leaving me alone with the turd.

Awkward silence surrounded us now that the man was gone. I refused to look in Blaze's direction. Neither one of us spoke for the next minute.

Even though I'd told myself countless times that I wouldn't react to his series of pranks that got everyone in yet another "Blazing Frenzy", seeing him here was bringing back the bitterness into my mouth.

He had, yet again, outwitted me. The fact pissed me off even more. He constantly stole my thunder and made me look lame! My prank was just as hilarious and daring and all the things awesome but the fact that his were better was just gobbling me up. Part of me was amazed by the things he pulled off. It just wasn't funny that his were a hundred times riskier than mine, and that made the other part of me even more jealous. Furious, too.

I turned around to check on him again. Glaring daggers at me seemed to suit his current mood, so I returned his glare with equal amount of disgust and stalked off to start dusting.

"I don't want you spoiling my work with your incompetence, so you stay on your side and I'll stay in mine," he almost shouted.

I raised my finger to argue back but this time, he left without giving me a chance to say anything.

Who the fuck is he to boss me around? This boy's got it coming.

No one had ever made me this infuriated-ever. The things I could do would make him run crying to his Momma. But...I'd promised Ester and Kate that I would keep my cool, finish my stupid punishment, and come back without causing and getting into any more trouble. Crap.

Arguing with this certified jerk was a lost cause. So I started dusting the dirt-covered floor in the hall, while he silently worked on his side of the hallway.

As expected, we stole glances at each other during the chores. I was trying to assess him and give a stink eye every now and then. He ignored me for the most part.

Then I caught him pulling up his black jeans and licking his lips once while he threw dust into the bin. I stilled for a second.

Why are all cute boys taken, gay, or total psychopaths?

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Everything was going smoothly without a hitch as the two of us worked on our sides, minding our own business until he stuck his leg out and made me trip. I was on my way to throw the dirty water out of the bucket and get a new fill. But he just had to ridicule me this time.

That dick had the courage to laugh at me while the dirty water dripped from my hair and seeped into my clothes. At that point, all thoughts of keeping cool or my promises of being wise got thrown out the window, and I inwardly scolded myself for thinking he was cute-even if only for a fleeting moment.

This guy was nothing but a fucking pig.

With as much grace as I could muster, I got on my feet and walked towards him. He was still laughing his ass off. Bastard. I spit out some dirty water that had gone into my mouth.

He doubled over with laughter and picked up his bucket of water. His head was thrown back, his laugh loud and infuriating. His distracted state gave me the chance to dump water onto him, too. The echoes of his mocking laughs came to an abrupt halt. Now his focused eyes stared right at me, his mouth hanging wide open.

I didn't just stop there, though. I went over to his side and tipped the other bucket of cleaning liquid all over his cleaned area. I turned around and gave him a wicked smile. "Oops," I said a little louder than my usual voice.

I thought that would put some sense into him or make him back off-but it turned out I was wrong. He did the same by tipping over the cleaning liquid over my side, then went on to chuck the dust that we had swept all over the wet area. Now a patch of mud lay on the floor. He swung his hands around. "Oops," he repeated with another annoying smirk.

At that point, both of us just lost our right minds. He started tipping the bleaches on my side of the floor while I covered the benches on his with foam. We just trashed each other's side of the hall. As if that wasn't enough, we both went on to the restricted left wing and grabbed the cans of colors.

It was a full on shit show from then onwards, with both of us hell-bent on destroying the other's side of the hallway floor while ranting about the other person's lameness.

3 5 m i n u t e s l a t e r

"You know the last time I had color-dyed someone's clothes as a prank? I was eight." The jerk splashed a trail of red over the walls.

So I did the same with the color blue on his side. "Right. 'Cause fake-farting is so mature, huh?" I yelled back.

"You forgot the dressing-up-as-the-headmaster-and-including-the-parents part, pesky." He gave me a smug look and a wink before he threw the last can of color on the floor. It spat everywhere.

"Such a dick! Stop spoiling my side!" I poured paint on the mop and started swinging it left to right, covering half the floor in an ugly green color.

"No-you stop first, you bitch!" He rushed towards me to staunch the mop's mess and threw it away.

"You are such a weener-" I shoved him away and he retaliated by rubbing his pink-colored hands on mine.

"Shut up, you fat-assed whiner."

"Idiot!"

A loud gasp echoed within the church walls, snapping the both of us out of our hyperactive shenanigans.

Blaze and I looked to the gate and saw the Father, along with a group of old people, standing shocked with their jaws hanging. Eyes grew wide as they all looked completely horrified.

I ran a hesitant glance around and took in the sight of the floor, the tripped over benches covered in color, the splotches of foam and dirt, and gulped loudly.

We're in so much trouble!

Just when the elderly guy-who had specifically told us to keep away from the side of the church that's under renovation and had asked us to only clean the place-took a step forward towards us, the mop that Blaze had snatched from me, which somehow landed in the marble hands of a praying child statue, slid off and fell on the bench near him. And it splashed a vivid green color on his face and clothes.

We looked at each other, our gazes locking, our minds linked. I knew then he also swore to himself in his head and thought the same thing.

"Run," we said in unison before sprinting to the backdoor.

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Tell me about the time when you obviously weren't able to complete your punishment.

Peace Out Bitches 💋