"Brooke! I told you to take out the trash!" Gasps Dad as he enters my room. I groan and sit up, taking out one of the earbuds that I was wearing, and scowl at him. Dad scowls right back. I hold his gaze for a while, before helplessly relenwting. Looking away, I let my mouth reveal a smile. "Ha! I win," Dad exclaims, then jabs a thumb at the door. "Now, go take out the trash!"

"I don't want to!" I whine, snuggling back into my blankets. "I'm tired. I want to take a nap." All parents approve of naps, right? Apparently not. Dad just shakes his head and walks over to the bed, stripping the covers off of me. "Hey!"

"Brooke," Says Dad, his tone warning. I roll my eyes and slump to the kitchen, where all the trash bags are. I snatch one in each hand and shrug on a hoodie, before lugging them outside. "Good girl," Dad purrs, his expression way too satisfied for my liking, as I come back in and grab the third and final bag. Shooting him a glare, I heave it out the doorway and into the large bin waiting on the curb. Huffing with exasperation, I sit down, my back against it, and sigh.

I had another seizure two nights ago. Not as big as that last one, the day before I found out about the tutoring. That was a full-on seizure. This was just I lost control of my legs, though I remained concious and intact. That last one.....that was nearly a month ago. I still haven't told my parents about quitting the Milky Raptors, failing math. Dad doesn't drive me anymore, since he's gotten so busy with work. So every Tuesday, at 5:00, I walk to LSMSEA and endure a session of math and homework with my tutoring group. The student who helps me, an eighth grader named Suzanne, isn't actually all that bad. I just feel so alone there, and that I'm disappointing everyone. I hope Mom and Dad never find out, or by the time that they do, I won't need it anymore. But even more than that, I hope Kaitlyn and Jaime aren't too upset with me.

Kaitlyn and Jaime. I almost start to cry. And not just them. Coach Roberto and Adrianne; and Oscar and Ulysses; and Polly and Cooper; and Desmie and Jared; and everyone. Everyone! My Milky Raptors. I bury my head in my hands. I'm so alone. I'm so lost. And kind of scared. Am I making the right choice? I'm exhausted....

With another sigh, I head back into the house. Once I take off my boots, and give Dad one last evil eye, I practically fall back into my room and into bed. I'm asleep before my head hits the pillow.

                                                                              *         *         *

"Brooke," Sings a ghostly voice. Drowsily, I lift my head, and see a young girl standing in front of me. I can't recognize her white-blonde hair that flows around her shoulders, her soft features and clear skin, and her eyes like sapphires. She's wearing a dress, that appears to be pure, silver wind, swirling around her and covering up her body from her shoulders to her knees. It's not like I can see wind, or know what it looks like, but the dress is blowing her hair in a gorgeously dramatic way, and it really looks like wind.

"Who....who are you?" I ask, because there's nothing else to say. Though I have no idea where we are, I can't ask that. I don't know why. Still, I'm curious as to why the wind girl and I are floating in the middle of a blue-black haze. I'm scared, suddenly, and worry that I won't get out of this darkness. "W-where are we? I'm scared," I finally blurt, no longer able to hold it in.

The girl smiles, and her mouth seems to.....disappear into her cheeks. How? How can her smile just fade like that? It doesn't end, really, it just gets thinner and thinner as it continues up her mouth until it's gone. But it's still there, able to be....felt, almost, in the air around me. I just can't see it. Who the heck is this girl?

"You know me," The girl whispers, her tone light and playful, her eyes dancing. And I do-her name is Elare Julia Ofario. How do I know that? Wait. Seriously, how do I know that? "And Brooke, Brooke Faith Tatiana Ellis, we are home."

I shake my head, confused. "This isn't my home. I.....I don't understand," I protest. Elare smiles again, that fading, non-ending smile. Her eyes seem a little sympathetic, and she reaches out, with her pale, ghostly hands, and wraps her fingers around mine. Again, it's strange. I can tell that her hands are cold and soft, but I can't feel it-physically. It's just like an aura, like if you hear about someone having brown hair or sharp nails, you know that they have them, though you can't really prove that yourself. Elare's hands are like that, I know what they are because she's touching me, but I don't really know it. Sort of.

"It would be impossible to understand, but you mustn't worry here, Brooke," Elare purrs kindly. "There are no betrayals or failures here. There is only you, and me. You're free. But you can choose to return, though the challenges and heartbreak you face will press down on you until you break. Please, darling, stay here," She warns, her eyes pleading and scared.

I jerk my hands away, frightened terribly. What.....what could I do? Elare seems so familiar....but from where? And is this.....this place really one without betrayal or failure? We're floating in a navy blue haze! How could this be anything so grand? And the clouds and fog.....are beginning to grow suffocating.

"What do you mean, press down on me until I break? What will I face?" I demand. "And seriously, where are we?" My eyes spill over, and hot tears rush like rivers down my cheeks. Suddenly, I'm trapped in a glass box, and the tears won't stop. They fill up the entire bottom, and the water just keeps pouring. I'm going to drown!

"If you let yourself sink, you can stay here," Elare sighs, her own eyes filling with tears. She brings one of her thin, pale hands to rest on the glass, and I lift my own to touch hers. "Please, Brooke, let yourself sink, and you won't ever have to return to the place you came from. Don't make the wrong choice."

She wants me to drown. Elare wants me to die! How could......I look away from her blue, blue eyes, the only real color on her. I'm sinking, faster than ever. And crying. I have to stop crying!

I close my eyes and rub the tears out of my eyes. The water reaches my waist, and my eyes snap open. I begin to float, struggling to stay above the water. I'm not crying anymore, but it continues to rise-slower than before, though. Elare looks calm as it devours my shoulders. I open my mouth to scream, but nothing comes out. "Help me," I beg, but she can't hear, and begins to fade. "NO!" I scream. "COME BACK! HELP ME!"

I can't swim any higher, or I'll hit the top of the glass! Angrily, desperately, I pound my fists against it, the tears returning. I can't see Elare, but I hear her voice. "So this is your choice then. Beware." And then everything turns to darkness.

                                                                    *               *            *

I wake up gasping, and jolt upright. I look around, and I'm in my room, sweet room, with a case of books at the end of my bed, and the lamp that sends of an orange-gold light, sitting on the dresser at the end of my room that holds my clothing. Right next to my bed is a door to the closet, which is dusty and cold, and holds all my favorite games. Oh, and the first-aid kit stuck to the wall in an arm's reach of my bed, mostly containing Abberdoxin and ice packs. I reach up and grab an ice pack now, placing it on my head. The main details of the dream are already disappearing-what was the name of the girl again? And what was her dress made of?

Only a few details stick with me. The pain and fear of drowning in my own tears. The blueness of the girl's eyes. And her voice-specifically her words. "You can choose to return, though the challenges and heartbreak you face will press down on you until you break." And suddenly, I'm scared. The challenges and heartbreak will press down.....but it's just a dream. Maybe I've faced a few things, but it'll be okay. Then I remember why the girl seemed so familiar, and I'm frightened all over again.

Christmas is in two weeks. Two days ago, we received our third card. From the Ofarios, Reuben Ofario and Jane Ofario and their two sons, daughter, and dog. We make our own Christmas card and fully believe in the tradition-I've never, ever seen Mom reject a Christmas card. But after the Ofario's card came, she threw it in the trash and was in a grumpy mood all day. Being the nosy person I am, I picked it out when no one was looking, and felt ashamed and angry and scared. Mom's words had returned to my head- I don't even know where my brother-where Reuben-is anymore.

She doesn't know where he is, and obviously she doesn't want to. Still, he knows where we are, and even if Mom wants to ignore that, I can't. I'm scared. I'm scared of my- I guess they are my uncle and aunt and cousins. Reuben and Jane and Kaleb and Dawson and Elare. Once I saw that card, I understood what Mom felt.

I hope I never have to meet any of them. But the heaviness in my heart has been growing heavier and heavier ever since that card arrived. Pressing down on me until I break.