Dear RL Friends,
Thank you. I could never say this to your faces, mostly because it's too long. Without you, all of you, I may not still be here. You guys have made my life worth living. And for that I thank you. Not only have you made the world a better place to live in, but you always have the right thing to say. When I'm sad, you can always cheer me up.
I just had a breakdown cause the world is being torn apart. I've been watching it. Not able to do ANYTHING to stop it. It's killing me on the inside, but I don't want anyone to worry so I pretend to be all fine. But I'm not. I'm dying inside. I always seem to feel like the problems in the world are my fault. I know they aren't, but maybe if I keep trying I could fix them. Y'know those nightmares where you can't move? Sometimes I have those, and in front of me the world is being torn apart. But that isn't ever in my sleep, its a feeling I get sometimes.
You guys always help me out when I feel like that. All I need to do is go to one of you, and instantly I feel better, just being in your presence. You, my friends, have saved my life. Believe it or not. If you weren't here, I would probably have gone into depression and suicidal thoughts long ago. But knowing I can go to someone, knowing that you're there, it comforts me. When one of you is happy, I'm happy. When you're sad I'm sad. You guys mean the world to me.
You can never fully understand how much I care about each and every one of you. I once vowed to never have love, but making friends broke that vow, in a way. Not like boyfriend/girlfriend love. But simply love for your comrades, love of the people you have come to consider family. No matter where I am, I can always count on you to have my back. I can always know that someone out there would care if I died. And that keeps me going, that fact that people actually care. Not just about me, but about each other.
Let's just say, hypothetically, that one of you was about to be shot and I was nearby. I'm not very athletic. I'm not very flexible. But when I have a reason, I can be. If one of you were about to get shot, I would take the shot for you. I would, actually, give up my life so that you could stay alive. I have a debt to pay to you guys. Because all of you, that's what keeps me going. You guys are what keep me from going suicidal.
I care about each and every one of you. I probably won't ever have a boyfriend. Or even a girlfriend. Y'know why? I don't need them. I have you. Everybody has some love in them. Most people share it with their fiancee, and their family. Y'all are my family. I love each and every one of you, as sappy as it sounds. Not bf/gf love, but true love. Not Disney love, just plain old love. But love can go a long way.
If there were more people in the world like you guys, then world peace just might happen. Even though there aren't enough of you, you still make a big dent in how the world works. You make people laugh, you give them peace and joy. And because of this I thank you. I thank you for being there, I thank you for understanding. Thank you, for everything.
I will always believe in you, and I hope that can repay part of the debt I owe you. Because I can never fully repay that debt, you guys have done just too much for me.
~Gemini, AKA Flyingstar, Kitty, Hollyleaf, Holly, or Flying Guitar
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