so I was watching a YT vid (Cuz i have no real social life) and it was about the BTS count down  and they were right i didnt have a doubt but it just amazed me. I watched serendipity by jimin and I ABSOLUTELY love it! I downloaded it on to my music app. I cant wait to hear the others songs. I am like 80% sure ill never beable to meet them but i have like 20% hope that ill meet them one day, But if i cant thats ok ill accept it Literally ny only chance is if there still around in 10yrs. Im sorry to my non kpop friends whi have to deal with me always fangirling about them. I would be 22 or 23 yrs old and still have no clue what to do with ny life besides copping with what i think is depression cuz ive thought n have tried to hurt myself before with my nail or a plastic knife but always end up not hurting myswlf cuz i know its not a good way to deal with anything, Sure i love all my family and friends and they love me. For some reason I always feel like im a burden but they say im not I know its just me being negative n I always try to  stay positive cuz I know if i dont try to be positive tge negatives will take over more then they al ready have. I just realised how dark that got. Ill be ok i think its just were i am rn is making me wierd cuz I always wanna make people happy and not worry about stuff. In the morning today i for some reason felt down. I kinda find it hard show my emotions to my friends that i im not THAT close. The only ones i show my emotions too is kate , nitro n my  irl bfls. Unless my rlly happy or bored, Then i end up texting in our gc with abunch if other friends including them.

I end up listening BTS songs on replay for hours unnend. lol I need to stop rambling on about random stuff in my head.

BAIIII love ya