Im realising this now. But my dad didnt just die. He sacrificed his life for my family n me. He knew he wouldnt beable to get another job, and my mom cant work. But he also knew that he wasnt gonna last much longer.  If he was still alive today. I wouldnt have a roof over my head, I wouldnt have my phone, I would have my drums, My bed. In some ways i wouldnt care as long as I had my father. But in other ways. It would have been much harder to live. Watching him get stressed, Sad, and angry because he could provide for his family, or that we are once again in a bad situation.

Honestly I think if he had lived no matter how much I would absolutely LOVE to have him with me it would be very hard to live financially. an he would have only lived until he was in his 60s or 70s That would only be 10 to 20 years from now given I would have been able to live thru my teenage years and my little sister would be able to have more time with him than she did. So honestly I cant tell if it was even with good or bad. Cus It was bad that he died before he could do some of the things he wanted to do an that he didnt gives us the passwords to his phone or google so we could get puctures an music that he had. Cause he had pictures from vacations, an just my family being wierd. We honestly now have  an expensive brick that we cant use, an he would be able to help me with home work an projects im trying to do now that I couldnt do then. I was never able to play world of war craft with him... 

THIS SUCKS !

He woyld have been so helpful in my life right now! With homework, Technology, Arguments, an Meme jokes. I feel like he would have liked my hero academia.

also sorry I haven't been active  ive been loosen my funk lately.