SHIT OKAY AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL I FUCKED UP AND NOW IM PANICKING.

BASICALLY I ONLY HAVE TWO REALLY REALLY CLOSE FRIENDS (ASIDE FROM THIS ONE OTHER GIRL WHO IS MORE LIKE A SISTER TO ME) AND NOW ONE OF THEM HATES ME BECAUSE I FUCKED UP AND SAID SOMETHING STUPID AND I THINK THE OTHER HATES ME TOO BECAUSE FRIEND #1 TOLD HER ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.

*takes deep breath* okay so basically here is what happened

My friend (the first one) is thinking about running for class council except she doesn't know which position she wants to run for, so she was asking me about it. She was considering senator, and she was asking if I would vote for her--to which I said yes, probably.

And then she was like, what do you mean probably?

And of course I'm like shit um what do I say, and I make some random joke about how she isn't sane enough for some position (and we joke about how we're insane all the time, so this should have been a good save). The thing is I don't think I was convincing enough, but she let it go anyway.

I couldn't bring myself to tell her the real reason, which was that I would honestly vote for whoever had the best campaign and the best speech, regardless of whether I hate them or they're my friend or whatever. It's an integrity type thing for me, and also because I hate it when popular kids win because everyone votes for their friends--wouldn't I be a hypocrite for complaining about those people if I blindly voted for her? I've had friends run for leadership positions before, and I voted for them sometimes, but only if they were legitimately good. I don't like the idea of taking away votes from someone who truly deserves the position by voting for friends.

But I didn't want to say that because it sounded like I was choosing integrity over friendship (which I WAS doing, but it makes me feel like an awful person to admit it).

So then I was trying to change the topic, and I made some comment about how she's so perfect (she really is, I wasn't lying). But she brought the conversation right back to the election thing, and asked me what position I think she should run for?

Without thinking, I just said, "please don't run for president, because I know I'm going to vote for Jessica." Jessica, by the way, has a HUGE load of experience, and is even more perfect than my friend. I could write an essay about how it is literally impossible to be as perfect as her. She's freaking UNREAL.

And then my friend stares at me, all betrayed, like, "you would vote for Jessica over me?!"

And I'm like sHIT WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY I FUCKED UP SO BAD WHAT DO I DO OH MY GOD

And when I panic like that I just start running my mouth, so I'm like "um I don't know it honestly depends on your speeches and everything--"

She's like, "you know I'm responsible!"

And the thing is she is, but Jessica is more responsible and more smart and more everything. She's literally the perfect fit for president and I can't imagine voting for anyone but her. Hell, if I myself ran for president, I'd STILL vote for her.

So here I am, with no idea how to say this, so I just start blabbering some random crap about how she's perfect and everything and I don't even remember what I said. All I know is that by the end of it, it sounded like I wasn't going to vote for her because I'm a jealous bitch. ESPECIALLY since I made the earlier comment about her perfection.

So she goes, "you wouldn't vote for me because you're jealous of me."

And I'm like SHIT NO THATS NOT--

And this other friend overheard it all, and she says, "you're jealous. It's obvious from what you're saying."

THE THING IS THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE BECAUSE IF ANYTHING I AM JEALOUS OF JESSICA. IF JEALOUSLY WAS MY REASONING, WOULD I SERIOUSLY VOTE FOR SOMEONE EVEN MORE PERFECT? SOMEONE I HAVE EVEN MORE REASON TO BE JEALOUS OF?

But anyway I tried to defend myself but it was too late, my friend was eyeing me angrily and she said, "I thought, of all the people in this school, I would be guaranteed your vote." And then she just stalked off. And my other friend just gave me an evil eye and followed her.

I WAS ACTUALLY SO PANICKED. So, just half an hour ago or so, I texted my other best friend, about to type out this very story. I literally spammed her with frantic messages.

SHE IGNORED ME.

SHE SAW ALL OF THE MESSAGES, AND SHE IGNORED THEM ALL.

SHES MY BEST FRIEND. SHE NEVER DOES THAT.

So basically, what I figured was that my friend who is running for class council told my other friend what happened first (all three of us are really close) and my second friend just automatically took my first friend's side.

SO THIS IS THE STORY ABOUT HOW I JUST LOST MY TWO CLOSEST FRIENDS, PLUS ANOTHER FRIEND ON TOP OF THAT.

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME. IM JUST TERRIBLE AT MAKING FRIENDS AND THESE TWO WERE THE FIRST THAT I REALLY BONDED WITH BUT NOW I JUST WANNA CRY BECAUSE  I RUINED THE ONLY STRONG FRIENDSHIP I HAVE. THEY ACTUALLY THINK IM JUST A JEALOUS BITCH AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY HAS FRIENDS PLEASE TELL ME IF THIS IS NORMAL???? I'VE HAD OTHER "FRIENDS" BUT NEVER REALLY CLOSE FRIENDS LIKE THESE TWO AND I AM ACTUALLY SO SCARED BECAUSE THEYVE NEVER REFUSED TO TALK TO ME BEFORE AND I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS NORMAL WITH BEST FRIENDS.

JUST SOMEONE HELP PLS