"Sometimes sorry isn't good enough."

Eris regretted many things when she disappeared from university without a trace all those years ago, dancing into the abyss of shadow like her namesake, becoming one with the likes of darkness, a mere trick of the light to worshipping eyes like a true phantom to do her father's dirty work. She regretted never getting her pen back from that whore of a girl who sat next to her, who'd actually stole it right in front of her fucking face, she regretted her burned bridges, regretted the fact that hatred and jealousy had twisted her decision into something inexcusable and more...but most of all, she'd despised herself for never actually saying goodbye to Foggy.

And now, standing before him, standing before her almost, her first and only friend, the metathorial sunshine to her thundering tsunami of angst and agony, she was rather abruptly reminded of why.

"I take it you two know each other?" The blonde asked, no, no, her name was Karen, a small grin curving at her pretty lips as she looked between both with a careful scrutiny that felt burning against the mutants flesh as she tried to to do something with her body other than stand there looking absolutely idiotic, her whole ruined body torn apart by strife seemingly to be stuck in one place, frozen in mounting horror and trying her best not to turn her internal screaming into external screaming with a dark desperation...because she hadn't exactly been expecting fate to turn around and fuck her in the ass with a godamn chainsaw.

And it seemed that Foggy was having the exact same thought process if the look on his face was any indication, all spite and frustration and rage that she could practically taste even without the damnation of her abilities to fester in the air...before he suddenly scoffed, smiling with an unpleasant sneer that seemed to shake, on the verge of breaking apart to show the damned agony beneath it as he laughed, the simple noise full of accusation and anger. "You know Karen, I really thought I did, but it turns out, not so much."

Now, most people would see that it was most definitely not the time to make a joke, even without the abilities Eris had been cursed with, because obviously it was a rather tense situation, where emotions were high and brimming like saltwater drowning out a sailor at sea, pulling them beneath the waves, letting them sink to their watery deathbed below...however, unfortunately, the mutant was many, many, many things, but ironically enough, a people person wasn't one of them as she smiled, a swift flash of bared teeth that was more grimace than grin while she chuckled awkwardly. "Okay, I suppose I deserved that one, scorned lover...I thought you said you were leaving the drama club behind you."

"Seriously? Are you making jokes right now? Do you have any idea-"

Foggy was quick to step forward but then even quicker to hesitate before her...like he was scared if he moved closer she'd slip through his fingers like smoke, his voice a breathless gasp and his face crumbling in on itself in agony as he sucked in a breath. After all this time...after all of this fucking time of not knowing what happened to his friend and letting it wreak havoc on his mind, wondering if she was dead or if she had been some illusion because weirder things had definitely happened in New York...or if she simply didn't give a shit about them because why else didn't she say goodbye...only to find her standing right there, like nothing had changed at all.

And there was two parts of him fighting against the other with callous words and bloodied fists, his head battling his heart in some desperate grappling of control that ached and burned him right through in their despair. Because his head was ordering him to walk the hell away and to not look back, that he had wasted so many sleepless nights terrified about the girl who didn't even give him a second thought...while his stupid heart was begging him to embrace her and not let her go again because he finally could. "You really just have no idea what you did to me, to us with your little disappearing act, do you? For God's sake I thought you were dead. Do you know how that messes up a person? Huh?"

But the problem was that Eris did know exactly what she'd done to the man in front of her and she had long since tried to not feel guilty over such sin, at least, she thought she did, it had been her comfort for so long, her way to hide behind the cruelty of her actions all for the sake of salvation...because she had thought she had set them all free.

She was not a good person and she had never been more sure of that fact when she was in their divine presence. She had clawed at life with hungry hands and stained her mouth crimson with sin, she had so much fucking blood on her hands she was drowning in it, pulled under the red sea there was salt in her lungs smothering her...she was born with blades for hands, carving her name into their sides in a desperation to be seen and heard while they were calling her soft, calling her gentle and loving...but they weren't paying attention and it was killing her slowly because if even for a moment they had caught a mere glimpse of the real her, they would of despaired in disgust at her grotesque monstrosity.

It was easy to blame her running away on the threat to Javier's growing empire that had been dealt with the moment the phantom appeared back from the shadows like a mocking god to bring chaos as her servant and lever to the masses, easy to blame it on wanting to be his protection, his salvation, his sword and shield...but the truth was, Eris had been planning on leaving long before that because she was absolutely terrified of the day they'd finally see her completely. "Look, Foggy, this really isn't the place to do this, alright? It's complicated, which I know is such a cliche but, just- please, let me explain-"

However, even Eris knew that it was a losing battle, especially as he scoffed again in her face, a scornful and wrecked sounding thing that was far more painful than any bullet or blade could hope to be as she flinched away with a muttered curse, frustratedly scratching at the base of her skull until she could feel the sliver of blood and flesh curling beneath her short fingernails as Foggy threw his arms in the air as if he could evoke the rage of god in his small limbs to smite her down. "Three years! Three years- where the hell were you? Huh? And you just stroll back into our lives like you didn't- like you didn't just go up in smoke- what the hell-?" 

"I'm sorry, okay? I need you- I need you to know that I'm sorry, I didn't want to leave you but-"

Yet once more she was interrupted, but this time it was because of herself as she suddenly choked, everything she wanted to say dying on her tongue because what the hell could she even say to him that wasn't just going to make thing worse? Or some way that wouldn't pour salt in the open wound in the hopes it would scar over...but there was no point because it looked like Foggy had already made up his mind as he scowled, glaring at her with some heartbroken expression, half hatred and longing while he shook his head his head with a trembling sigh. "Sometimes sorry isn't good enough, Eris. Because it's too little and way, way, way too late- you're so lucky it's me, you know that right?"

You're so lucky it's me, it's me, it's me, the words drifted through the ruin of her mind like an echo, getting softer with every call, every cry as she stood there in frozen bewilderment because for a second she truly hadn't a clue on just what he was trying to say...before it all clicked all at once as realisation dawned upon her. Foggy seemed to think that she was lucky that it was him that found her first, that it hadn't of been Matt who had stumbled upon her...perhaps because Matt wouldn't of been so merciful? Perhaps because he believed it would of been far more painful for it to be the blind boy she had adored, heart and soul, to spite and curse her? Either way...she was pretty sure he had never been more wrong in his life.

"God I knew you were many things man, but I never thought you were that selfish. What you did was shitty, it was so crappy and then you just- you just show up here? After everything and the first thing out of your mouth is a joke? What the hell is wrong with you?"

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...but it was in the blood of her silence that he obviously found his answer as he scoffed again, pressing his lips together to stop them from wobbling with his blurry eyes glaring down upon her and making Eris feel all about two inches tall as she shrinked away from the devastation in his gaze...before he stormed away, pulling the awkward looking Karen with him as she watched him go in damned despair. And good god it was like her heart was breaking all over again, but this time had been fucking soap opera worthy, the kind that Javier loved to watch, all woe is me and all that bullshit because she hadn't gotten the chance to take the easy way out and run away like she always seemed to do.

There was a deep ache blossoming in her chest like fresh blood to a wound, spreading through her veins, dancing beneath her flesh as Foggy did a rather good impression of her and disappeared from her longing view, slipping away into the comfort of the building she had ruined with her vile desire for more and as far away from the sight of her as he could...and what was worse was the fact that she deserved it most completely, because she didn't need her abilities to feel the betrayal that had laced his every word, that awful dismissal full of wretched sorrows because it had been so thick in the air she could taste it festering like shit on her tongue.

However, as Eris stood there against the pavement, clutching at her stomach like she had some sort of physical illness with her breath a gasping sob that burned her at her chest like she was being branded by her own grief...the moment she was about to turn to walk away with her metathorial tail tucked between her legs in shame, Foggy suddenly appeared, flinging himself from the doorway with his hair array and eyes holding some frantic chaos and desperation as he pointed at her, scowling all the while like he was absolutely furious with himself for what he was about to say next.

"Josie's. At Eight. Be there! And I swear to god that explanation better be great."

And then he was gone as swifty as he'd come through, throwing himself back into the building as she blinked down to where he'd once stood, mouth opening and closing in some helpless devotion because she truly did have no idea just what to feel about the situation at hand that had suddenly been thrust upon her like a blood stain to white cloth.

Matt had been...god, he'd been everything to her, an infatuation that had burned her right through in her terrible desire to worship, to hold something physical in her hands and scream out to the void that as long as she had such a tether to the ruin of humanity it couldn't have her scarred and weary soul that had been twisted like a thorny vine of hatred...but the truth was, it would of always been Foggy who'd had the best chance at making her stay, at making a home alongside him where she could leech off his light for the rest of eternity...and that was the real reason she didn't dare say goodbye, because she knew that one look in his eyes, as she'd crumble to dust in his loving palms full of hope.

Because it was Foggy that had introduced himself that day and who'd made her laugh so hard she'd forgotten why she'd been upset in the first place, that had been the one to kill the spiders that would slip into her room while she screamed and cried and hung on Matt's shoulders even though he, himself, was absolutely terrified of them too. It was Foggy that would take her out on the nights their blind friend was too...busy, it was Foggy that would get 'white girl wasted' whenever she was maimed by memories and nightmares of her ruined past and was desperate for a way to escape, it was Foggy that could cheer her up on the most dullest of days with that stupid butcher story.

The flashbacks kept coming, rushing at her like a screaming banshee and filling her ears with blood the longer she stood there with her mouth agape, still searching for a reply that was far too late, forcing an confrontation of absolute agony to wreak havoc upon her weak mind as it festered and blistered right through her, holding hands with the other memories, the one that hadn't been hers and making cooper pool upon her tongue as she tried desperately to swallow it down to the pit of her ever hungry stomach, to swallow everything down as she debated just running for it and never stopping because just what in the hell was she going to do?

Run away, it's all you're good for, it's what you do best, kill him, kill them, kill yourself, and then all at once, those familar voices suddenly slipped in while she was still and crumbling at the seams, taking their chance and making her twitch as she jerked away, body tensing, rippling with unease while something dark passed over her eyes, flickering like a dying candle in the wind as she tilted her head left and right in the crowd she'd yet to move away from, tempting them closer as they whispered mournfully.

Because you see, the lab had taken many things from Eris Darkmore...they had taken her freedom and placed her in a cage full of peering eyes that burned her right through with their greed, disgusted by what she was but ecstatic to watch the way she would bleed all over their polished floors as she howled and screamed and begged for mercy. They had taken her chance at normalcy by turning her into the wraith, her humanity by performing lobotomy after lobotomy to make her their perfect pet no matter how many times her extraordinary mind healed over, her life by turning her from a mutant to a monster...but most of all, sometimes she truly feared that they had took what was left of her sanity too.

Phantom, it was a glorious name, a ravenous name, and a name that rang true...and as the mutant began to walk once more through the streets in miserable quiet, soaked in sweat and absolutly terrified as she tried not to look behind her when the voices crept ever closer in their patient fury...where she would see the bloodied ghosts of her dreadful past as they unhurriedly groaned after her, that had followed her ever since she had stumbled out of the lab without them to leave them to rot in the dying light...limping behind her with their trail of blood and guts dragged in their wake as they hissed and snarled about the promises of destruction that she blocked out in some dire desperation to pretend they weren't there.

Phantom, phantom, phantom...what a truly awful mockery of a name for a girl that was haunted by the dead...as she was forced to open up her connection to the world once more to drown them out under the waves of damned humanity again, pulling herself beneath the abyss and letting the saltwater consume her all for the sake of salvation.
______________________________________________

Now, Josie's was as...unforgettable as Eris had remembered it to be when she finally arrived the moment her watch had struck eight, all cheap drinks, flickering lights and a lousy atmosphere that reeked of piss but felt like home suffocating her on its stench as she hesitantly strolled on inside, hunched in with her teeth bared and dark eyes haunting as they danced from corner to corner, forcing down the mist of humanity rushing to meet her, that clawed at her like a beast. God, what the hell was she thinking? Risking Javier? Risking the wraith, risking everything and for what? This was not a good idea, this was not a good idea at all.

And yet apparently, that acknowledgement of how incredibly reckless she was being didn't phase her in the slightest, it didn't even dare as she took a step, and then another, and then another, letting the door to the bar swing shut with a harrowing rattle behind her and bathing her in the ambient lighting. No turning back now, she told herself forcibly, biting down on her tongue until she could taste blood as she slowly weaved her way through the crowds, trying desperately not to step on someone...and keeping her gaze firmly set upon the blonde sat at the end of the bar with his back to the world and a drink cradled in a warm palm.

Eris sat down next to him carefully, as if he was the prey to her salvating predator about to make his escape from starving fangs, bracing herself as the chair awkwardly shook beneath her, and pushing back the swell of emotions that swarmed at her like buzzing bee's as she felt more than seen him look over to her, felt his eyes wash over her like a burning breeze. And once again, there was so many thing that she wanted to say to him, wanted to do, wanted to hold him close in her ruined embrace and press kisses all over his cheeks as he laughed and struggled like they used to do all the time when she was high off her ass.

But instead, the mutant swallowed the bile that was beginning to fill her mouth, that clung to the walls of her throat like a melancholy echo, burying the longing that struck her in the abyss of darkness and rot of her body, and tried to give the blonde a strained but honest smile that hopefully didn't look like she was about to run for the hills. She could do this, she could absolutely do this..she could definitely hold a mature conversation with someone who she'd dreamed about for years because she had faced losses and felt agonies that most couldn't even imagine nevermind endure when she was but a child...so this should be a piece of cake.

"I'm suprised you showed."

Okay, she was wrong, she absolutely couldn't do this. "I almost didn't."

Foggy chuckled quietly at the gentle confession that slipped through her lips, but it wasn't exactly a nice sound, it was something spiteful and almost cruel, something that didn't suit him in the slightest, all venom and hatred and no love or light that she had long since associated with the boy- the man that she had a made a home of, of the man she had once knew completely. And if she was a lesser woman...she truly thinks that that bitter laugh could of killed her. "Yeah well, that's not exactly much of a suprise. I mean that's the thing is with you, you tend to just up and disappear without a trace when things get a little bit hard."

Honestly, Eris kinda deserved that one, scratch that, she definitely deserved that one she thought grimly, lips set in a thin line as she dug her tongue into the corner of her cheek, her face set in a harsh grimace as she struggled on just what to say to that that didn't sound utterly pathetic. She was drowning without a life preserver in sight, battling helplessly against the waves that crashed against fragile flesh littered with ruin, again and again until it threatened to take her under completely...what the hell could she say to him that didn't endanger the few things she still held dear.

"So, you're still angry about all of that then." Of course, out of all the things she could of said, it seemed like she decided to go with the most useless.

"Angry? Oh, I am way, way way passed angry, I'm pissed." Foggy snapped, forcing the beer he'd held in trembling hand on the mat before him, and finally, finally turning around to look at her, his eyes tracing every feature, every new and old imperfection on her face, ones he knew and ones he didn't...the history and the present, mapped out for him to see and he was greedy for it all because it was Eris, one of his best-friends, the third musketeer, the final member of their forgotten trio...coming back to haunt him again and bringing up all that unresolved agony of wounds that never healed with her.

"Why are you here, man? Seriously, because I'm drawing blanks right now."

Once again, she genuinely didn't know what she could say, because for all of those hours she'd spent pacing in the comfort of her new home, never once had it occurred to her to actually think, instead debating with herself if coming here was a good idea or if dissapearing into shadow was the more preferable option. She should of never went to college, she should of never tried to be normal...she should of never left. "Foggy- I...I can't tell you everything, there's so much that I can't- but I didn't want to go. You need to know that, being with you, being with Matt- I think it was the happiest I ever was, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"What do you mean you can't tell me everything- Eris were you...are you in trouble?" His voice became quiet, the words barely even louder than a whisper as he leaned towards her, his eyes frantic as they looked behind him, as if someone was listening in, tension wound tight around him like a snake. Had she been in danger? Was she still and he and Matt had been too angry to notice? Had they just- had they abandoned her when she'd needed them the most? The questions kept mounting up until his heart felt like it was about to pound out of his chest, his vision blurry and breath a gasp as panic and anxiety swarmed him completely.

Shit, shit, shit, Eris had forgot how much of a mother hen he tended to be, the likes of which only tied with that protective streak of Matt's that burned like hellfire, the both of them, so worried and adoring in their own way that it fucking hurt looking at the familiar concern now, that had somehow still lingered after all this time. Perhaps that's why she was so swift to assure him, her trembling hand catching his own and holding it close, and the moment his skin was resting against hers, well...if she'd opened her connection to the worls and let the mortality of soothing seep into his flesh...then that was no one's business but her own.

"No. I wasn't in trouble, Foggy. The best I can tell you about the situation is that it was complicated. My dad needed me, and I couldn't- I had to go, but there was nothing you could of done to help us, I promise."

The effect of her powers and the soft lull of her words, of course, was instantaneous, the tension in his shoulders dropping, face relaxing from the twisted grimace of remorse when he was suddenly hit with a sense of calm that curled around him like a blanket shielding him away from the ruination that was the world outside. And then he was laughing, a relieved sound as he finally pulled himself away from her lingering grip and pushed his blonde hair behind his ear, still chuckling under his breath. "Jesus, Jesus I almost had a heart attack. Don't do that to me, I'm too young and handsome to die like that."

"Handsome? Definitely. Young? By retirement standards...sure you are."

It was a risky joke that tested the waters of the unforgiving ice threatening to crumble beneath them, and yet it had the desired effect all the same as he grinned, huffing out a giggle, and then another and another until Eris could feel the adoration slipping through the cracks once more. But such joy only lasted a moment before Foggy became quiet once more, drawing in on himself as she desperately ached to follow him...only to hear a sudden slam! as a glass of Whiskey was placed in front of her, and she didn't have to ask to know it was her favourite because of course he'd remembered it.

And when the mutant risked a glance up at him, he only shrugged, as if she couldn't feel that hint of smugness rolling across his flesh like thick smoke, downing the rest of his beer before gesturing over her head for another one with a weary sigh. Silence surrounded them, burying them in some mocking cocoon as she watched him mouth open and close, desperately trying to find the right words to say, before finally slumping down against the bar quietly. "You know you hurt people, Eris. When you left, you just- you really-"

It seemed like he couldn't finish, throat closing up, choking on the words that scratched at his tongue like sandpaper until there was nothing left as his voice trembled and eyes became glassy with unurshed tears that hurt. The bar was getting louder now, she could hear it creeping in as the night grew darker and more and more- joy, anxiety, need to save money, need to buy beer, oh look Kevin's here too, sweat, addiction, hope, anger- it was becoming too much, even as untethered as she was upon Javier's orders, the bar was too small and her abilities were to large not to be able to taste it all...and yet here she was, enduring it all anyway.

"Look, I know what it looked like, okay? And I know that what I did was cruel, and I know I should of called or done something. But I didn't mean to hurt Matt or-"

"Who's talking about Matt, Eris! I'm talking about me! I was your friend too and you just left and I couldn't find you! What the hell is up with that?" Foggy shouted, practically screamed more like it, agony running deep as it exploded from him like an inferno, slamming his open palm upon the bar and not even being fazed in the slightest at the dark look he got from the bartender at such abuse. Everything was overwhelming him, she could see it, she could feel it, emotions crashing into him one after the other, and suddenly, he was the one drowning and she didn't know how to save him without ripping herself apart at the seams.

But all she had was the same excuse that was starting to dry on her tongue like gasoline, that was becoming weaker and weaker every time she forced it past trembling lips, wondering just how they'd managed to get here of all places, close enough to touch, to embrace...and yet they were farther away from each other then they had ever been. "Like I said, it's- It's complicated."

"Yeah? Well we've got all night. So talk...as much as you can."

"My dad was going through some stuff, Foggy. Really, really bad stuff that honestly, scared the shit out of me because I thought- fuck, I thought I was going to lose him, you know, you have to know that I wouldn't of just abandoned you if it wasn't something serious, but he needed me...and I've always needed him." And so, Eris continued to talk and Foggy listened, listened to the censored version of her tales, of her reasons why she abandoned him, when something bad took place, something threatened her darling father that she held so dear, and so she had no choice but to go to him...burying beneath the story the mantle she took for his protection, the monster she became to be his salvation, the phantom she died to be.

"I should of said goodbye Foggy, I know I should of...but I just- I didn't know how." Was how she'd finished her tale, swallowing down the guilt that curled under her skin at not sharing the whole truth with him for his own safety and sanity, no matter how much she wanted to. But she could see on his face that familar unease when he didn't know what to do or what to say, stuck between a rock and a hard place because he didn't forgive her, not by a long shot but it was her, it was Eris, the girl who had been his actual wing-woman, who had held him when he cried when his own dad had died and refused to leave his side for an entire month, his partner in crime and everything in between.

"That's such a clique and you know it, Eris. So don't try and weasel your way out of this like- like..."

"A weasel?" She murmured softly, lips curling in the corners at his swift scowl that didn't burn half as much as it once had hours before. And it was then that the mutant decided to play her final card, her killing floor as she reached into her pocket, and pulled out a rather raggedy looking wallet, a rather shitty last minute birthday present, if she did say so herself, and found herself only hesitating for a moment before she was sliding it across the bar with her dreadful heart hanging upon her sleeve...and watching in awe at the recognition lighting up in his eyes as he slowly and carefully picked it up like he was scared it would crumble in his grip.

God, it was a really shitty wallet, tearing at every single seam and stinking of cheap leather, that not even her strongest perfume could overpower in its absolute stench. But fuck, it was her favourite gift in thr world because it was Foggy that had given it to her, her first ever present that wasn't from Javier, something that was completely hers and she had loved it so. But inside, inside was where the true treasure lay, the real reason it looked so weathered as it constantly drifted around in her divinity-stained fingers...an old wallet with an even older photo of Eris tucked under the comfort of two arms wrapped around her, holding her to home.

Her favourite bittersweet memory that made her drunk on tragedy, some dark madness that drove her to tears, a deep devotion that had possessed her to be human instead of mere darkness made flesh to haunt and devour the world whole for their sins.

"You don't have to believe me, but you Foggy...I couldn't say goodbye to you because I knew, I knew that if you asked me to stay I would of and I couldn't risk it. You were my first friend, you and Matt- it's only ever been you two...my musketeers." Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, she pleaded desperately, forcing the aching burden behind her eyes to hold, all wide gazes and trembling lips, only held together by a single fraying string of sanity. And then Foggy finally looked up from where he had been longingly tracing his fingers over their young faces, taking one look at the girl beside him, and then groaned in absolute despair at the sight that condemned his decision.

"No- no, stop it! Don't look at me with those eyes-"

"What eyes?"

"Oh, don't pretend you don't know. The eyes- you make them go all big and pathetic like a baby seal about to get it's head bashed in and everyone just falls to their knees-"

"I don't know what you're talking about...is it working?"

"God! Yes, yes it's working, come here!" And then finally, finally, his arms were winding around her and pulling her to home, pressing her tight against him until she could barely fucking breath, and she craved the lightheadness that came with such an embrace. And even as their soft giggling died down, they didn't dare tear themselves away from the other, as she pretended she couldn't hear the way he sniffled into her shoulder, tucked away in the comfort of her vanilla-scented hair that he'd missed so much. Because, it seemed only fair considering he couldn't see the unurshed tears stinging at all-seeing eyes...only holding him tighter as he did the same.

"God, I've missed you, Froggy."

"Don't you dare start back up with that, I've only just forgot about that trauma." He sniffled dramatically, squeezing her closer one last time before he pulled away and fumbled around for what was left of his drink, which he was swift to start gulping down, scrubbing furiously at his glistening cheeks that were definitely not wet from tears...just like Eris who was definitely not wiping away the running mascara that had scattered just beneath her lashes and painted the flesh it found there black and clumpy, chugging back her Whiskey and relishing in the dark burn that scratched at her scarred throat littered with ruin.

But when it looked like the two had eventually gathered themselves from what could of easily been an emotional breakdown and pulled themselves together...Foggy decided that it was time for him to ruin the moment before she thought she was completely off the hook, as he leaned on over, back into his friends space, and just because he finally could, placed an easy arm across her shoulders and gestured over her head for another round because he had a feeling that they were definitely going to need it. "So uh...you do know I was the easy part, right?...Matt is holding a serious grudge, seriously, you're name is like, banned from being spoken in the office, like Voldermort."

"What? Matt? Hold a grudge? Never." Oh yeah, she was completely and utterly fucked.