Chapter 32: Insolence

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"Just a worm."

#

...

Do you see it yet? The power of worms?

It all blends together. I don't know how many times I do it. How many times I give myself and take thousands of souls for Yin's sake.

My sanity is slipping. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

But every time I come back, I see her face and I know I can't stop.

It never ends.

Then...something strange happens. One time on the roof, I'm already dead. Tatsuya has killed me again. Now I just need to wait for him to finish off my zombie before it bites Yin.

Hurry up. Finish me again. Restart the cycle.

But instead of saying the same line I'm used to; he deviates from the pattern. Just the like the random rainstorm that one time, he doesn't stick to the plan in my memories.

"Oh you, are interesting, aren't you? But a...wait, what the hell am I saying?" The System God's voice changes. Surprise fills his face.

No...it's shock.

He's not supposed to say this. I know because I've heard him say it hundreds of times. Maybe thousands.

This isn't how it's supposed to go.

"I...I've been here before." Tatsuya says to my zombie. "You...you little...you've done something! What the hell have you done! How many times have we...DIE!"

*Crack*

"D-Don't go...I love you!"

#

"No-!"

I wake up again.

Play it all through.

Vomit my brains out.

Pretend I don't see right through Tatsuya's fake laughter.

But this time, everything changes when the boss dies. Before I can even hunt down the other Hunters, time freezes.

It just stops.

A white-robed priest appears in front of Yin and I. The rest of the world is frozen, no one else can move. Yin's mouth is open, but she isn't saying anything. Up on the rooftop of Tiendas Tower, Tatsuya stares at me with suspicion.

"I don't believe it. But I know it to be true. You...you really are different." He sniffs me, though I cannot move. His power is too great. "What are you? How are you manipulating fate?"

"Beats me." I shrug, or rather try to. Suspended in the air, frozen in place, I'm forced to listen to the System God rant. "Why don't you just kill me and get on with it. Face it. You can make us do this as many times as you want. But you will never win."

"Insolence! Damnit, I can't kill you! Whatever is tampering with fate will just keep forcing us back here over and over again. How arrogant! To think dirty a worm like you dares to struggle against a god. Well, if that's the case...then we'll have to do it this way! Just remember, you asked for this!"

[BE ERASED!]

System Notification:

Critical Error. Memory Files Have Been Modified!

Failure.

Failure.

Failure.

Unable to determine cause of failure.

Resetting...

"Heh, how does it taste? You ruined my game, but now you alone shall pay the price. No one will remember your name. No one will remember your touch. They will only know that a sinner came here and denied them the greatest opportunity the System has ever given! All will blame you for dooming them to the Calamity! Hahaha, I love it. The perfect punishment! This is even better than what I wanted! Real entertainment!"

I can't move.

I don't understand what he's saying.

Red messages from the System overflow, spilling into my vision like blood.

"Alright, all done. Now then, I think I'm going to leave you here to rot. Enjoy your solitude. Why don't I leave you a little something so you can see what the world thinks of you?"

A mirror appears in my hand.

Then everything goes black as the city crumbles.

#

It's cold here. Cold and lonely.

Even worse than when the Gray is in control.

Unlike then, I am very much alive here.

But I am just as trapped.

Frozen in this endless cold, stuck in the System.

The System God, he left me here to suffer.

This is my punishment for committing so many sins.

I cannot move. Cannot eat. Cannot breathe. Cannot die.

I am just...here...alone.

Forever.

He left me a mirror. It reminds me of that girl's.

I can't control what it shows, can't make it show me Yin.

Every once in a while, it will display a random thing or person.

The System God wasn't lying.

He really did erase me.

None of them remember my existence.

I'm just...gone...and alone.

Oh look, something's playing right now.

Maybe I'll listen in.

The mirror shows what the world thinks of me now.

"Hahaha, that rat bastard. Who knew that the Secret Dungeon in Tiendas was going to give a ton of free experience once the boss was cleared! We all would have leveled up so much!"

"Yea man. It would have saved us. These zombies wouldn't be nothing if we had all that xp!"

"What was his name again? Ugh, I can't remember. Whatever, that trash doesn't deserve to be remembered! He stole the boss and took all the experience for himself! Now we have to fight for our lives as low-level Hunters."

"Right? I heard every Hunter in the city would have become a high-level overnight! The System was going to give us a chance to survive this Calamity but he was a selfish bastard."

"Aww damnit, I hate that guy. It's people like that which make this goddamn world so hard to survive in!"

Their words don't really hurt me that much. But it makes me feel even lonelier. I know why the System God gave me this mirror now.

It was to show me what he did.

How he made them feel about me. They've all had their memories altered. I've become a sinner, yet at the same time, he's made them forget my name.

How funny.

The person I want to see most never appears. I don't know what happened to Yin. I'm sure she's forgotten me as well.

After all the power of a System God is absolute.

The mirror goes blank again, and I want to cry, but the tears cannot come out. At the very least, the people who believe I stole the final boss of the Secret Dungeon hate me.

Hatred is something.

Something that isn't a part of this endless black void I'm stuck in.

I can't get out.

Forever locked here in this prison, the world will go on without me.

Goddammit!

Let me out.

I'm so lonely.

Just let me die.

For real...just end this...

If only I could die.

But even that small bit of hope is denied to me.

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