I miss him.

It's crazy how much I miss him right now. Two days.  That's how long I've had him and I feel empty without him right now.  I can't imagine that I would love the real Yo any more than I do this Yo.  He's funny and smart.  He's passionate and so honest.

It's been like a whirlwind, him just showing up like that.  I didn't want to go back to work today but I'd already skipped two days of work.  The staff acted like I was dying when I showed up today.  One day off was unheard of, two days meant a catastrophe.  Now tack on that I added a short notice week off and they were checking me for needle marks and strange new tattoos.

Today is a catch up day. I'll be having a lot of those when I get back from my break. I assume they have a special formula at scheduling to make up for this. I'm pretty confident I'll be working late for the next couple of weeks.  I'm not looking forward to that.

I actually made it through my morning surgeries without any issues. The surgeries I missed Wednesday were rescheduled for this afternoon so I will be all caught up on that front. I opted to keep the surgeries for next week though.  Those shouldn't be messed with.  I only do surgeries twice a week so it won't be that bad.

I get out of my scrubs, shower, and change.  I head to my office to make sure I have everything I need to apply for the marriage license.  I feel relieved when everything I need is here in my hands.  Everything except for Yo.

This waiting is driving me crazy.  I can't believe how slowly time is moving.  It's like it's trying to tick me off. Every time I look at the clock it mockingly blinks at me like its enjoying my frustration.

A soft knock on the door and in walks the person that I was thinking about.  He looks a little unsettled so I immediately make my way to him and envelop him into my arms.  He hugs me back burying his face in my chest.  He inhales deeply causing me to smile.

"I missed you." He breathes out.

"I missed you too," I tell him honestly.

"Any luck on the job search?" I ask.

"Really today was all about researching. Since I don't drive I had to come up with places that were either close to the hospital or close to the apartment." He says.

"Not close to the apartment. We'll be moving after we get married." I tell him.

"We will? Why?" He asks.

"Because, right now we live at my place. After we get married we'll live at our place. I'll give you the address so you can look around there." I explain.

"Address? You already have an address?"

"Well, yeah I already bought it, I was just waiting for you so we could move in. It was supposed to be your wedding present but when you brought up this thing with the job I thought you should know." I admit.

"I understand. When can we go look at it?" He asks with a smile.

"Any time you want. Except for today, we already have plans.  You ready to go get that license?" I ask holding my hand out to him.

He looks at it like it's an alien being then up to my face.

"Something wrong?" I ask.

"P'Pha.  We're in the hospital.  We can't act like this here.  It's inappropriate." He scolds.

"So it's not that you don't want to..." I lead.

"No it's not that.  I love holding your hand just not where it can get you into trouble." He states.

"So outside?"

"Yes P'Pha.  I will hold your hand outside." He says rolling his eyes.

I smile as I close the door.  He shakes his head and follows me out.

As soon as we enter the parking lot I take his hand.  He pulls back but I tighten my grip and he yields to my hold.  I love the way his hand feels in mine, like it was designed to fit perfectly.  We reach the car too soon for my liking and sadly I have to release his hand.

It doesn't take long to reach the district office.  I make sure to grab the folder holding all of our documents then firmly grab his hand again.  He doesn't struggle this time and that makes me feel good. 

When we get there, we get the forms we have to fill out and take a number.  I bounce my leg as we wait for our number to be called.  This is taking forever.  His hand settles on my knee and he gives me a small smile.  As much as I love this feeling it does very little to calm me right now.  I know I'm being impatient.  I know that I'm rushing things but I just can't let him slip away from me again and if this helps keep him by my side then I am willing to do it.

"P'Pha. They called our number." He says softly.

I shoot straight up spilling everything on the floor.  Dammit.  I bend down to get it but Yo is already there.

"It's OK.  I have it." He says in a comforting tone.

He takes my hand and leads me to the clerk.

"We don't have to do this." He says.

"NO!" I shout making him jump slightly.

"I'm sorry Yo.  You just have no idea how long I've waited for this moment." I say.

"You're not the only one." He mutters to himself.

"Huh?" I say.

"Nothing." He says curtly.

"How may I help you gentleman." The man behind the counter asks.

"We're here for a marriage license." I say confidently.

"You two?" He clarifies.

"Yes.  The two of us." I say feeling a bit annoyed.

"Are you sure? This isn't a joke.  Married life is difficult.  It's not like dating where you can get away from each other when you're mad, and you can't simply break up if this turns out badly.  You have to work on a marriage.  You have to communicate and be willing to work together.  You need to change for each other and with each other.  Is this something that you can do for each other?" He asks.

At first I thought this was a 'gay' thing but as I listen him, this is a 'are you ready to be married' thing.

"Sir, not that it's any of your business, but I have been in love with this man for over a decade.  It's already taken me too long to get here.  I should have done this much sooner.  I know marriage isn't easy, I watched my parents' marriage crumble because of selfishness.  I won't let that happen." I promise him.

He gives me a soft smile and nods his head, filling out something on the form.

"And you young man? Is your answer the same?" He asks Yo.

"Yes sir. I gave up everything I had to come back to be with him." He says.

The man nods and scribbles some more.

"I need your identification cards, birth certificates, and national identification number cards." He says.

I hand the envelope to him and he looks over everything.  Then he takes them and makes copies of them.  He attaches them to our application and hands the packet back to me.

"Will one of you be changing your last name?" He asks.

"I will." Yo answers.

"Follow me please." He says and leads him to the wall.

"Stand here for a moment.  OK, you can come back." He instructs.

"Give me a few minutes to check for any prior marriages and to process the application." He says as he leaves.

"This is going better than I thought." Yo says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I was nervous since we're same sex." He admits.

"There's nothing wrong with it.  There are plenty of same sex marriages here." I say.

"Whether or not that's true, that doesn't change the perception P'Pha." He scolds.

The clerk comes back with a smile.

"Great, no previous marriages makes things much easier.  Do you have any witnesses?" He asks.

"I didn't know we'd need them to apply.  Um..." I start.

"It's ok, I can find someone." He says.

"No wait, I have someone." Yo says and runs off.

He comes back with an older gentleman who hands his identification card to the clerk.  He jots down some information and hands it back.

"It's ok, I'll ask another clerk to come." He says when I start looking frustrated.

"Phana Kongthanin, you intend to become lawfully wedded to Wayo Panitchayasawad.  In sickness and in health.  For rich or for poorer.  Til death do you part?" He asks.

"Yes, that's exactly what I intend to do."

"Great sign here and affix your thumb print please." He says.

I do as instructed.

"And you Wayo Panitchayasawad, you intend to become lawfully wedded to Phana Kongthanin.  In sickness and in health.  For rich or for poorer.  Til death do you part?" He asks.

"Yes." He simply says.

"Very good.  Please sign here and affix your thumb print please." He says showing Yo where and he complies.

"Witnesses please." He says as he shows them where to sign.

"I'll be right back with your marriage certificate." He says with a wide smile.

"I'm so glad.  No we just have to plan the wedding. It's a 30 day waiting period, so we should look for dates after next month.  Do you want a big wedding or something small? We could just come back here to get married then have a huge party." I tell him.

Maybe it's too much to think about because he looks dazed right now. 

"We have plenty of time to decide.  We're in no rush." I say gently.

"Who's not in a rush?  I'm in a rush. I would be married today if I could." He tells me and happiness forces it's way out into a smile.

I notice the gentleman behind him and go to him.  I offer a deep wai in gratitude.

"Thank you so much for helping us out today." I say.

"No problem young man.  It was my pleasure." He replies.

"OK, here we are.  Your marriage is now registered.  Here is your wedding certificate and your new identification card showing your new name.  You will get your new national identification number card in the mail in four to six weeks.  Do you have any questions?" He asks with a smile.

"Yes.  I have a question.  What's going on?" I ask.

Yo is simply staring at the new ID card with his mouth hanging open.

"I don't understand." He says.

"That makes three of us.  The way you're talking it sounds like we just got married but we were applying for a wedding license. Isn't there a waiting period?" I explain.

"No, not anymore.  As for being married all that is required is for the couple to make a declaration publically, which would be the vows you just said.  In front of a registrar, who is me.  You also need to sign the declaration, which is this." He says pointing to our signatures and thumb prints.

"Also the verbal declaration having two witnesses, which is this." He says pointing to the two signatures.

"Does it bother you to be married already?" He asks looking upset for the first time.

"No, not at all but if I had known it would happen this way I would have invited my father at least." I admit.

"That's what receptions are for." He says casually.

"Sooo just to be clear .  We're legally married now?" Yo asks.

"Yes Mr. Kongthanin, you are now legally married."

"Thank you!" Yo says as he dives over the desk and hugs the clerk.

The look of shock on his face makes me chuckle but at the same time I want my Yo to let go of him.

"It was my pleasure." The clerk says with a smile.

"P'Pha.  Can you believe it? We're married."