"How far back can we go?"

Not the beginning, definitely not the beginning. What was the beginning anyway? He knew some things, but was he willing to share those with the two strangers? No, not really. So why was he agreeing to this interrogation anyways? Was it the familiarity that oozed off of them? was it because Tony knew them? Or was it because they had triggered a wave of other memories?

"I don't know when I got out."

Will answered Steve, looking down at his calloused fingers. He had stopped petting the dog. He was still gripping the mug, looking into the tea as if he could find all of his answers there. Bucky and Steve remained silent, giving him time to continue.

"My cryostasis chamber had been damaged, someone had shot a bullet in me. I crawled out, removed it, and fled."

He felt uncomfortable but Bucky seemed to pick up on that.

"I was beating up Steve before really realizing that something was off. We were on different sides, I was supposed to get rid of him. He kept insisting on finding me and befriending me, somehow, I don't think he knows how to keep away from assassins and mad scientists. It's like he just can't help himself." He offered Will a teasing smile as Steve gave him a pointed look.

"You beat him up?" Will raised his head, looking towards Bucky with curious eyes. He had noticed his metal arm, but he hadn't thought much about it. 

Will turned into a disturbing man-wolf hybrid, a metal prosthetic didn't scare him.

"Yeah, I was in HYDRA. Brainwashed, did whatever they wanted for decades. Took me a long time to find myself from the shell of the Winter Soldier they had built around me."

Bucky wasn't uncomfortable talking about this, not with them. Steve knew, and so did Sam. He suspected if he shared his story somewhat, it would make Will a little bit more at ease. He caught Steve's stare, he seemed surprised that Bucky was willing to talk about it.

"Winter Soldier..." They looked back towards William who was narrowing his eyes, studying Bucky, analysing him with a different look. Steve tensed, had they met? Did they have history?

"They got you too, didn't they?" he asked, making Will look at him.

Steve hadn't yet had the pleasure of just talking with his brother without him trying to kill him. He was happy that he could be there, sitting so close to him, have Will talking to them willingly. Sure, he knew Will was ready to bolt any second. Hence why they had decided on this seating arrangement. Steve wouldn't risk it, even when the whole floor was currently on lockdown, he knew fairly well what HYDRA training would do to people.

"Yes."

"What did you do afterwards? When you got out of cryo?"

Bucky asked, catching Will's attention once again.

"Hunted them down." He didn't need to tell them what he'd done, they'd seen it, had picked up his mess whenever they thought they had to eliminate another base yet again. They hadn't known who it was, Bucky had thought that whoever it was that had hunted them down and killed them in cold blood had done a real messy job but now he understood why, he had wanted to send a message, had wanted them to know that he was loose and coming for them.

Steve hid his disapproval, it wasn't really how he'd go about it. But he had to remind himself that he'd barely learned anything about the years Will had been forced to stay with HYDRA.

"It was you that day wasn't it." Bucky said, sliding his thumb over his chiselled chin as he threw his other hand over the back of the couch, getting more comfortable in his seat.

"Yes." Will answered, catching Steve's quizzical stare. He sighed and looked up, looking slightly embarrassed.

"I apologize for... stabbing you."

Realization dawned, of course. It was so very obvious, the day they had discovered the underground base with numerous dead doctors, someone had attacked them from the shadows, it had been some nasty venom. To think that they had been so close to each other back then was startling, what if someone had accidentally killed William?

Steve thought he was going to be sick.

"it's nothing." he waved him off, because really, to Steve, it was nothing. Barely a scratch.

Will gave him a hesitant nod, not too quick to brush it off now that he knew who he had been stabbing.

"How much about us do you remember?"

Bucky continued with the questions. He could see Will closing up immediately, the neutral mask of nothingness slipping into place at his question.

Silence hung heavily between them, the quiet bickering from the TV not able to fill it. The air seemed to have gotten thinner.

Steve slid his thumb over the side of his mug, blue eyes staring off into space as he let out a small sight.

"I was sick. A lot." he started, hoping to follow Bucky's lead and offer his own explanations to make him more willing to share his.

"Growing up I was bedridden most winters, there was this especially harsh one once, you were five at the time. I was coughing, the fever had gotten to the point where I was hallucinating. The doctor said I wouldn't see another spring and there was nothing they could do. Mama was crying, trying to find enough blankets for me, our neighbour, Mrs. Davis, do you remember her? Mrs. Davis brought over soup."

A small smile stretched over Steve's face as he dove into the memory.

"I don't remember much, but when I woke up in the morning, you were there. You had snuggled up next to me with pile of your clothes laid on us as if they were blankets that would keep us warm. You had this ragdoll monkey Mrs. Davis had given you, it was tucked under my arm."

Steve finally looked up at Will whose face was still impassive. No recognition of any sort of emotion there at all.

"You were always there, being our little shadow even when I met Buck. No matter how skilfully we tried to shrug you off, you always found us."

Deadly calm oozed off William, it was as if he wasn't even listening, as if he couldn't even be bothered to pay attention anymore. Bucky had trouble reading him, the question had been asked too soon.

"Yeah, and do you remember the time you brought over what you thought was a stray cat? Only for mama to find it later on and scold us both for feeding a raccoon our last cheese."

Will didn't want to listen anymore.

A raccoon, chilly winter night, cheese and Steve. Steve, not the same Steve sitting next to him.

It was not an ideal situation by far. Although everything was seemingly calm and static, he felt tense like a bow string that's about to snap. He could tell Bucky and Steve both were painfully aware of the growing tension. Steve was completely frozen, almost not breathing at all as his eyes were glued to the TV but Will knew he was keeping a close eye on him from the corner of his eye, ready for everything.

Bucky was seemingly staring out of the window as if his mind was far away, but William knew better.

They were both like two predators, ready to jump in any sign of trouble.

Steve faltered when William took a deep breath in and let out a sigh, his eyes flickering towards him before going back to TV. They didn't trust him, and that was good. Smart.

"Why are you so tall now?" William asked, seeming to surprise Steve as he turned his body to face him fully.

"I had a growth spurt." He tried to joke only to be met with a deadpan stare. Bucky snorted but said nothing as he carefully assessed the two brothers who were finally talking and not trying to rip each other's throats out. That was a success in his book.

"Well, I was offered a chance to be injected with super soldier serum. As it was my only chance of getting into the army, I accepted. The serum made me stronger and faster, and apparently also taller."

William nodded but didn't turn his attention away from Steve, he was blatantly staring. He was trying to see the man from his memories. There was a lot of differences from the man who used to live in the past and the one sitting next to him now. There was hardness around his eyes that wasn't there before, a haunted look hidden behind the swirling pools of ice that reflected through his eyes. His shoulders were twice as big as they were back then, not to mention his height. He even had a beard and what Will could remember, he was unable to even grow facial hair, his chin used to be smooth as a baby's bottom.

This Steve sitting next to him was nothing like the one William grew up with.

"And what then? You got into the army, how did you end up here?"

Steve made himself more comfortable, trying to hide his excitement but failing miserably as he rested his elbows on his thighs and leaned slightly closer.

"I, well, we were on a mission, something went very, very wrong and I lost Bucky. I was forced to fly a plane into ice. Years later a Russian oil team found me from the ice, SHIELD was informed and they dug me out. I was offered a spot in the Avengers so here I am." Steve's voice was gentle, almost a low murmur as he kept a close eye on his brother.

Steve wanted to hug him, keep him close and make sure William was actually there and he wouldn't just vanish. It was an unfamiliar urge, a sort of dangerous possession of an older brother that he hadn't felt in a long time. He couldn't suppress the feelings of wanting to nurture and protect him. Especially when he recognized the haunted look that was so plainly visible to those who could see. But It looked as if any type of close proximity  was the last thing William wanted. So, Steve held himself back and just stared. 

To his disappointment, William turned back to the screen without another word. 

There was a flash of anger in his eyes, something dark lurked beneath the surface that suddenly made Steve wary. There was a change in the atmosphere and if looks could kill, the TV would be ten feet under. 

"Did I say something wrong?" 

"Was it justified?" 

Bucky straightened his back, looking alert as he glanced between the two worriedly. He shared a look with Steve, knowing that for some reason they were on thin ice and William was way more on edge than they had thought. 

"What was, Will?" Bucky intervened, keeping an eye on his hands to detect any further tension should he want to strike. 

There was a moment of silence and it seemed as if Will was trying to reel in his anger, trying to take deep breaths. 

"Leaving me." 

He refused to look either one of them. 

He finally remembered, could finally detect why he felt the way he did towards Steve, his own brother. Perhaps it was stupid to hold a grudge like that. It seemed silly after all this time to be mad over such a trivial thing. Had Steve not chased his dreams? Had he not gone after his own future? But the little voice in the back of Will's mind kept screaming at him, telling him ugly things, making his head ache from all the anger that bubbled under his skin and crawled over his bones like a snake slithering across his body. 

"No." Steve breathed out, shaking his head as he witnessed the pure anger that crossed over his younger brothers face. 

"I-I remember now. You left." He almost stuttered through gritted teeth. He knew he couldn't blame his actions on Steve but he wanted to. He wanted to blame someone for the pain he had gone through, wanted to shove it in his face and hurt him too. 

He balled his fists, flexing his fingers as if it took everything in him not to hurt someone or even himself. Bucky leaned closer slowly, making sure the younger Rogers was just in his reach. He threw Steve a warning look, telling him to be alert. 

"Will I can't undo it. It was irresponsible of me, I know I shouldn't have-"

"You were all I had left!" 

He suddenly shouted, standing up and towering over Steve who raised both of his hands in surrender hoping to calm the situation down. Bucky stood up not a moment later to stand so close to Will he could feel the other man's body heat through his clothes. Steve's eyes were wide as he watched Will hold back a grimace of pain.

 His head hurt, really hurt. 

A whimper caught his attention. Dog was standing behind the couch, tail tucked between her legs as she looked up at William with those puppy dog eyes that always got to him. Will nodded as if to tell himself it's okay, he's cool. He took a step back, almost bumping into Bucky as he held his hand out to Dog. He didn't want her to be scared of him, ever. 

Bucky sighed in relief. 

A door in the hallway opened and a familiar scent hit Will's nose. His fingers twitched as they all turned towards the noise. 

A man dropped his gym bag, looking startled as he removed his airpods and stared at the tree in the living room. It was obvious he had just finished with a workout, his face was still covered in a thin layer of sweat and he was wearing gym clothes. His dark gaze settled on Will immediately. 

"Well that's earlier than usual, good morning everyone."

Will narrowed his eyes, scanning his scent that was mixed with some sort of bitter smell of old towels, sweat and lots of body spray. 

"Morning, Sam." Steve greeted him. The man took a step closer, smiling as he saw the dog who wagged her tail at seeing more company. But then something clicked in Will's mind and he could finally tell where he had encountered the man. John's funeral, he had been there, had attacked him. At his best friends funeral. His eyes flashed red and a growl vibrated through his chest. 

"You."

Sam froze, looking up and taking a step back at the crimson red gaze that glared back at him. 

"Oh hell no." 

"William? Will calm-" With all his might, he shoved Bucky aside and focused solely on his prey. Fur spurt down his body as he grew taller, towering over the man who had been the final trigger to his anger. 

helloooooo I'm alive, somewhat. SO, here's another chapter for you to enjoy. 

A little update to as to why I've been so absent lately: 

First of all, I had a short movie to shoot. The team work there wasn't very pleasant. The director and DOP were very abusive towards their whole crew and that includes me, art director (Who don't know, the movie visuals are usually created by the big three: director, DOP and art director). And as the certain project was short movie, it took us a only six months to prep, which means six months of backhanded comments, unneeded sarcasm and constant criticism on my ideas and work in general. It was so bad that even 1AD refused to work on the last day. If you're constantly working 12h days or even longer with someone who keeps telling you your work is, well, sh1t, it tends to take you to a dark place. the wrap was thankfully before new years. 

On top of that, my great aunt passed away last week which made me realize I've lost three people within a year. My family has split in two, both sides refusing to hear each other out and I'm the one standing in the middle. And school work has been a killer lately, especially during our shooting days, it's like no professor gives a flying fudge about anyones mental health. I got really sick after the shoot, too. So sick I had to go to the hospital, my ear started bleeding. 

I know 90% of people don't read it, and that's totally okay. I just need to write it down, need to share it with someone because I feel so so unheard, especially the last few months that I feel like I'm gonna go crazy if I don't do anything about it. So, yeah, I'm sorry that I treat ya'll like you're supposed to be a therapist or something. 

But in all fairness, you guys mean so so so much to me. I feel like you are all letting me create my safe place that we all need. And that when I most need to escape, you are here, you are reading and you just make my day by rooting for my baby William and Dog. It's been a long rant, and I'm sorry, but in all honesty, it's your fault for being so open minded, supportive and understanding readers, I love you, truly. 

Also, everything is okay, I'm fine, just needed to rant!

shoutout to you all :)

Cool_RanchDoritoes insane_insecure Xio_fi_chan Herlipsticksblack musicalpr0situtE @kitsunebi_14 istoletheavacadoes NFuglsang3 mac_is_lost Iustatia cosmic_peaches blueoatmeal Holy_Water_123 _Anonymous_Rosetta juviadreagneel16 Withouthope7 Lovegoods_ RaesRecords Taedak-ho Ren1826 k_j_lupo _Rui_Ayaki_ WHITEKNIGHT- Confetti438

And all of my lovely ghost readers, don't think I'll leave you without a shoutout! 👻 💚

Until next chapter

- K