Donut, Simmons, Sarge, Grif, Lopez, Slade, South and Caboose are all standing outside the Red Base.

Sarge: Get these water cans cleaned up while we're gone. How much water do you need to drink, Donut?

Donut: I was in a desert! Don't judge me.

Grif: Maybe we should learn from that and bring some water ourselves.

Sarge: Nonsense. It'll just slow us down.

Grif: Slow us down more than dehydration? Or death... by dehydration?

Sarge: I don't know, smartass. Let's say we try! I'll kill you, and then I'll dry you out! Who wants Grif-Jerky?

Caboose: Ah, no thanks, I already had donuts for breakfast.

Grif: ...Wait, what?

Slade: I packed a whole duffel full of canteens.

Grif: .... Please tell me that one is for me.

Slade: Ask me again when I'm in a good mood.

Sarge: All right, let's get going. Everybody packed?

Caboose: Yep.

Grif: Where's your stuff?

Caboose: Oh, I only carry a washcloth and six toothbrushes.

Grif: I'm gonna assume that makes sense to you.

Caboose: Yeah, it does.

Grif: Yeah, I thought so. We'll just go ahead and leave that one alone.

South: It's Caboose. Is it really that shocking?

Grif: Fair.

Sarge: Grif! Why'd you pack so much?

Grif: Me? I only did one duffle.

Sarge: Well, what are all these cases?

Donut: Those are mine!

Sarge: Donut, you're going with us?

Donut: No, but I wasn't gonna let you guys have all the packing fun to yourselves! That's the best part about going on vacation. I mean, beside airport security's full-cavity search—

Grif: Time to go! (heads towards the jeep)

Sarge: Lopez, I want you to take good care of Simmons and Donut while we're gone.

Lopez: [Me?]

Sarge: Feed them every day.

Lopez: [Do they eat Unleaded? Or Super Unleaded?]

Sarge: Exactly. And don't forget to let them out in the yard every now and then.

Donut: I love yard-time—

Simmons: (insistent) Goodbye!

Sarge: If we don't make it back from the mission, bury me and Grif as far away as possible. I don't want to get any corpse cooties.

Grif: Why do you assume I'll be dead?

Slade: Grif, it's Sarge. Coincidence?

Grif: ...Never mind.

Tejano music begins playing as Sarge runs for the jeep. Kan hops on the back of Slade's Mongoose.

Sarge: All aboard! Let's get this show on the road!

Caboose follows Sarge inside the jeep and takes the turret.

Sarge: Hey, be careful with the new gun. It hasn't passed any real world testing yet.

Simmons: It hasn't passed any fake world testing. It's passed zero tests.

Sarge: Which means the enemy can't possibly know about it. We've got the initiative.

Simmons: (quietly) Yay. We got something. Big dummy.

Sarge: We'll be back as soon as we help the Blue. And then we'll kill him.

Slade: No, you won't.

Caboose: Guys, I really appreciate this.

Sarge: See you soon! Try not to get into any trouble!

Slade: (looks back) Hey, Kan? Your mask has a breathing filter, right?

Kan: Yes... why?

The Warthog and Mongoose drive into the water and vanish, leaving behind only a trail of bubbles.

Caboose: Are we there yet?

Sarge: No.

Grif: Shut up.

Donut: Good luck!

Lopez: [Did they just drive into the water?]

South: And once again, the impossible has become unseemingly possible.

Simmons runs off.

Donut: Hey, where are you goin'?

Simmons: To blow up Blue Base.

Donut: Ohh, I think that's what Sarge meant by "get into trouble!"

Simmons: (flies off on the grav-lift) I don't give a fuck!

South: Oh, no you don't! Get your ass back here, motherfucker!

South then chases off after him.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The Reds and Caboose emerge from the ocean on a beach with the Tejano music still going.

Caboose: Can we stop again? I have to pee.

Grif: Again?

Caboose: Well, my suit leaks! And I had to drink a lot on the way here! (runs off towards the trees) A lot.

Slade: Just do your business, Caboose.

Grif, Sarge, and Slade exit their vehicles.

Sarge: Look, Grif! Sand.

Grif: Yeah, we're on a beach.

Sarge: Donut said there was sand. That means we're on the right track.

Caboose returns to the group.

Grif: Know what else he told us? The coordinates to where we're going.

Sarge: Another clue!

Grif: That's not a clue. There's no mystery. We're driving there.

Sarge: Come on, let's get going, before the trail gets cold.

Caboose: I have to use the bathroom again.

Slade: Caboose, just how much water did you drink before we left?

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

At Valhalla, Donut and Lopez are standing atop a hill.

Donut: Lopez, Simmons has been gone a really long time.

Lopez: [I don't care.]

Donut: If Simmons blows up Blue Base, Sarge is gonna be really mad.

Lopez: [Yes. He is stupid like that.]

Donut: I'm worried about him... especially if South kills him... literally.

Lopez: [Yes. Because you are stupid like that.]

Donut: I think I'm gonna go over there and check on him. Make sure South hasn't ripped off any off his body parts yet. (runs off)

Lopez: [Whatever.]

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

In a large desert, the Warthog flips through the air with Slade and Kan right behind them.

Sarge: (inhales) Yee-haw! (coughs as the Warthog lands and continues on like normal) I told you not to take jumps bigger than my yee-haws! It makes me look bad!

Slade: Sarge, quit complaining!

Grif: Okay. This looks like it.

Sarge: Be careful, Grif. We don't want to get spotted.

Intercom: Halt. Do not go any further.

Caboose: I think we've been spotted.

Sarge: Watch it, Grif!

Intercom: You are attempting to access a restricted area, and you have entered a mine field.

The Warthog ceases movement.

Grif: A what?

Intercom: A mine field, you idiot.

Kan: Well, this won't be good at all.

Caboose: Your field? Who says this is your field—You can't own a field!

Grif: Caboose, not his field! A mine field!

Sarge: You know, the Native American culture said the Earth doesn't belong to us. We belong to it.

Slade: Oi! He means underground bombs!

Caboose/Sarge: Ohhh.

An explosion then goes off.

Sarge: Oh!