At Valhalla, Doc was standing on a hill and taps his helmet.

Doc: Come in Command. Come in Command, this is Medical Officer Dufresne. I have arrived at Freelancer Program Simulation Outpost Seventeen. Command? Come in? Come in, this is Medical Officer Dufresne. I have reached FPS Outpost 17.

Simmons: Hey, down here, we're over here! Hey, come down here!

Doc: Never mind Command, I think I see the objective. Stupid radio doesn't work anyway. What else is new.

Doc runs down to Simmons and Donut's dead body.

Doc: Holy cow, Simmons! Is that you?

Simmons: Oh, hey Doc. Man, I didn't know they'd send you.

Doc: Yeah, we got the radio call and I was the closest medic so they sent me. But I didn't know it'd be you guys! Small galaxy, huh? Man, we got a lotta catching up to do. So what's up, somebody hurt or what? What's going on?

Simmons: Him.

Doc: Him? Um, he's dead.

Simmons: Yeah, he is. He was shot.

Doc: Um, Simmons, I know it's been a while since we've seen each other, and I have increased my skill as a medic in that time, but dead is still pretty much outside my jurisdiction.

Simmons: Man, I just didn't know they'd send you.

Doc: Yeah, you said that already. Hey is everything okay with you?

Simmons: It's not my fault Doc, I- I had to make the call, they made me. They needed someone with medical training.

Doc: What're you talkin' about?

Simmons: I didn't mean for you to get involved, I'm sorry, really.

Doc: Sorry about what?

Doc turns around and sees Wash and the Meta.

Doc: Uh oh.

Wash: He's sorry about us.

The Meta then hits Doc, knocking him unconscious.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

At the desert, Slade and Tucker approach Grif as he is staring out over the plain.

Slade: Hey, mate.

Tucker: Hey Grif, what's up?

Grif: Hm? Oh. Hey, guys.

Tucker: What're you doing?

Grif: Well, Sarge told me to bury all the bodies from our battle...

Tucker: That's a lotta graves. Lotta holes to fill. Bow chicka bow wow.

Slade punches Tucker without looking.

Tucker: OW!

Grif: And now I can't find 'em, because the bodies were piled up over here, by these stone pillars, and then the wind came and blew sand all over the damn things.

Slade: Wasn't that the point? Seems to me like your job's pretty much done.

Grif: I like the way you think.

Sarge approaches them.

Sarge: Grif, what the hell are you doing up here? I thought I told you to bury those... bodies. What?

Tucker: He did, he buried the shit out of them, look.

Sarge: What the- I only gave you that order five minutes ago. How'd you do it so fast? Did you two help him?

Slade: One: if I were help his lazy-arse, it'd only be because he isn't competent enough to do it, then again Grif can't be competent enough to save his own life.

Grif: Hey!

Slade: And two: why would Captain Pervert over there help him with anything?

Tucker: Yeah, dude, we've been fighting for like eight years, haven't you learned anything about me yet? I'm a lover, not a digger.

Grif: Yeheah, maybe he woulda helped me if some of the bodies were dead ladies. ...And I realise that sounded a lot creepier than what I intended.

Sarge: Well, does someone wanna say a few words?

Grif: Words?

Sarge: Yes, these men were soldiers. Even if they were enemy soldiers, they still deserve a eulogy.

Slade: Sarge, all we did was stack their bodies in a pile without even laying them each individually in a certain position. Not to mention we didn't even know their names. What were we even gonna put on their gravestones? Soldiers #1-17 or some shit? Lived for only three hours or whatnot?

Tucker: Well don't look at me, I'm a lover not a talker. Hey dude, you wanna make another sex with dead people joke?

Grif: No, I think I hit my quota.

Sarge: Well what about your buddy mister cult leader?

Epsilon then floats out from behind a rock with the Elites behind him.

Epsilon: So, then was one guy, said some things to another guy, and the people liked it. And that's pretty much that.

Tucker: It's not his fault, those aliens just worship this ancient technology. And the people who made it. Huh huh, what's a brother gonna do?

Sarge: Who in Sam Hell worships technology?

Grif: Are they from the Internet?

Slade: (sighs) Morons...

Caboose comes out from behind the rock following the Elites with Kan.

Caboose: Yes, this is just very interesting. I understand everything that is being said. Good.

Tucker: Caboose, what're you doing, get outta there.

Slade: Kan! Don't tell me you're getting sucked in by whatever BS Church is spewing?

Kan: Of course not! You said to watch Caboose and that's what I am doing.

Caboose stands in front of Tucker and the others.

Caboose: It's not fair! Hya- I worshiped Church, way before it was cool to worship him.

Grif: Hey, I already told you, that's still not cool. That will never, be cool. Ever.

Slade: You fuckin' worship every single place in the galaxy that has Italian food!

Grif: Your point?

Slade: One of these days, I don't know when, I'm just gonna learn to keep my mouth shut and let your low IQ kill you.

Epsilon floats next to Caboose.

Epsilon: Oh hey there guys. How's life among all the non-deities? Pretty lame, I bet! Pretty sure none of you've been worshiped all day long today. Weak!

Slade: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah! It's great to be worshipped by a bunch of aliens you don't understand! Why don't you ask them to go fetch your golden crown? It'll be perfect! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your King: King Church of 'The Only Reason I'm Being Worshipped is Because I Was Transferred Into an Ancient Artifact and Should Be Lucky I'm Not Sitting in That Db Unit I Was Stuck In'!

Epsilon: ............. You are never gonna land yourself a girlfriend, pal.

Slade: OI! As a matter of fact, I DO happen to have one back at our base!

Tex: (in Slade's mind) Two, actually, lover boy. Heh heh.

Rho: (in Slade's mind) Tex, not in front of Theta. Come on!

Epsilon: Yeah, well to these guys I'm a god! I could have any woman I want.

Sarge: D'ya think you guys might be milkin' this just a bit?

Tucker: Hey, do you want to tell the big group of deadly aliens that they're mistaken and he's not who they think he is?

Sarge: Hm, I see your point. Hey, your circular holiness! How 'bout delivering the eulogy? We're buryin' most of these guys 'cause of you anyway.

Epsilon: Me? I only lasered one guy.

Caboose: Which was awesome.

Epsilon: I know it was, right?

Caboose: So cool. The laser came out of your face.

Slade: Caboose, technically speaking he doesn't have a face.

Tucker: Have you been able to figure out how you did that yet?

Epsilon: No, I think it's just because I got really mad. Hey, say something to make me angry. See if it happens again.

Tucker: You're ugly and nobody likes you.

Grif: You're annoying and your team sucks.

Slade: If you had your old robot body back, you'd still be a terrible shot.

Caboose: You're round and you can't wear pants.

Epsilon: You guys came up with all that really quickly.

Tucker: Eh, it pays to be prepared. Did it work? Are you pissed?

Epsilon: No, I think I'm actually kinda depressed now. Caboose is right. I can't wear pants.

Caboose: Well I only said it because everyone is thinking it.

Tucker: Maybe mad makes a red laser, and depressed will make a blue laser.

Slade: That'd mean he's been depressed this whole time.

Caboose: Well I hope we don't find out what makes a brown laser.

Kan: Eugh, Caboose! What's wrong with you?

Sarge: You idiots shut up. Hey Globey, you makin' a speech or ain't ya?

Epsilon: Hey sure no problem. I did a sermon just the other day that the aliens loved.

Epsilon floats up next to the Reds and Tucker.

Tucker: Sermon? You just read them the setup guide to our Inkjet printer.

Epsilon: Yeah, and they eat that gadget stuff up. You gotta know your audience buddy.

Grif: How is it possible that ever since Caboose revived you, you can't remember anything except how to be a jackass?

Tucker: Some things are hardwired.

Slade: Like your inability to get with a woman?

Tucker: Kiss my-!

Epsilon: Attention true believers. And... other people. We are here today to pay our final, and our first, respects, to the dearly departed. But first, I'd like you all to join me in a song, in honor of me. Hm. I am the best.

Sarge/Grif/Slade: Skip it.

Epsilon: Fine. Okay, uh, in the beginning, there was darkness. And uh, and out from the darkness came a voice. And it said...

Epsilon sees an armored figure in the distance.

Epsilon: And it said... Uh... Uh-out- out from the darkness came... Out from the darkness...

Grif: Is his playback skipping?

Tucker: I don't know.

Slade: I hope to God he didn't mess with his short-term memory again.

Sarge: Maybe he needs a reboot. Good thing I wore my boots. I'll reboot him right in the keister. Heh heh.

Epsilon: Out from the darkness came uh, someone. I'll be right back.

Epsilon floats away in the direction of the armored figure.

Tucker: Uh oh, the natives are getting restless. Caboose, get up there and stall 'em, I'll figure out what's going on.

Slade: Wait up!

Tucker and Slade chase after Epsilon and Caboose stands in front of the Elites.

Caboose: Yes, and out of the darkness came someone!And that someone was me! Yes. And I said, funerals are sad, and we should have a birthday party instead, yes! Yes, let there be cake! Um, hallelujah, gesundheit.

Epsilon continues chasing the unknown figure.

Epsilon: Hey you! Hold on a second, who are you? Hey I'm talkin' to you, what are you deaf? What are you...

The figure runs into a temple, which suddenly turns into Blue Base from Valhalla.

Epsilon: What?

Tucker: Church! Hey Church, what're you doing out here man?

Epsilon: Hu-whu?

Slade and Tucker approaches behind him.

Slade: Your 'loyal servants' can't go five minutes without you being there.

Epsilon: Did you see him?

Tucker: Who?

Epsilon: The person, from the darkness, the- no, th- that's not right, that's not right. Well, did you see?

Sarge and Grif approach them.

Sarge: What's he talkin' about?

Tucker: I think he's having another memory flash.

Slade: (quietly) Oh, no....

Sarge: A what?

Tucker: Random memories that keep coming back to him. He's been getting 'em more and more lately and I don't think he has any control over 'em. He gets all emo too, it's annoying. Like having a chick around, but without all the fun parts of having a chick around. Like bonin'!

Slade knees Tucker in the balls, making the aqua soldier fall to the ground in agony.

Slade: Try and get a boner from that.

Sarge: You should take out his memory unit and blow on it. That'll fix it.

Caboose appears behind Slade.

Caboose: Is he having more memories?

Slade: Yeah, lad.

Caboose: Did he remember me this time?

Slade: Not this time.

Epsilon: I saw a canyon, and uh, a waterfall. And there was some kinda dark figure there.

Caboose: Was the dark figure me?

Tucker: (stands up) Caboose, we will let you know if you come up, I promise. A waterfall, huh? That's the second time you've talked about that.

Epsilon: Yeah, but where could that be?

Grif: Uh, that sounds like our new bases.

Caboose: It does? It does!

Tucker: What? Caboose, why didn't you mention that the first time?

Caboose: Um, I didn't remember it?

Tucker: You didn't remember a waterfall? Dude, that's like not remembering your first girlfriend turned out to have a dick. Right Grif?

Grif: Sometimes I'm sorry I even told you that story.

Slade: (begins to laugh) Hey, whaddaya know? You both got somethin' in common! Grif dated a transvestite, Tucker got nailed by a male Sangheili! You're both bisexual! Congrats!

Tucker/Grif: Fuck you, ya Austrian jackass!

Slade immediately stops laughing and stares at them both before whipping out his sword.

Tucker/Grif: Oh, fuck!/ Aw, shit!

Slade starts chasing them around the desert in donut holes as they pass the temples. Rho and Delta appear next to Kan.

Kan: They never learn, do they?

Delta: It would appear not.

Rho: Yeah, well as Frank Sinatra would say, "That's Life."