Maine and Cal lunge forward as Sweetheart readies her pistols while Rambo drives his Warthog straight at the two Freelancers. Cal rolls out of the way as the Warthog smashes Maine into his pod sending it back on its side. Maine, now holding the front of the Warthog, slowly lifts it up and kicks it towards Sweetheart and Guns, tearing off the tow hooks. They dive out of the way, with Rambo landing next to his teammates.

Wash reloads his rifle as York soon walks up behind him. Sigma then appears next to the Freelancers.

Sigma: Hello gentlemen.

York: Hey Sig. You sure he's good to fight so soon? He was hurt pretty bad.

Sigma: As compared to whom, Agent York? You two don't look so good yourselves.

Delta appears in front of Sigma.

Sigma: Hello brother.

Delta: Sigma, protocol dictates that AI units are not to communicate directly-

Sigma appears next to Delta.

Sigma: Protocol is just another way of saying rules Delta. Remember what the Director says. There are no rules on the battlefield.

Sigma appears behind Delta and pats his shoulder.

Sigma: Besides, we AI should really stick together.

Rho then appears.

Rho: I hate to interrupt this rebellious discussion, but I think our partners could use some assistance. So if you don't mind, Sigma?

Sigma: Of course. Excuse me. I'll be right back.

Sigma vanishes along with Rho.

York: I'll be honest; that one kinda gives me the creeps.

Wash: Yeah, I hear ya. Come on, let's move.

Delta vanishes as the two Freelancers move out. Sweetheart gets up and sees Carolina aiming one of her plasma rifles at her.

Carolina: Well, hello. What a pleasure to see you again.

Rambo runs up behind Carolina and punches her down with his robotic arm. Carolina gets up, noticing that one of her plasma rifles was badly damaged. Discarding the broken weapon, she raises her other rifle only for it to be hit with a machete.

Sweetheart: Pleasure's all mine, bitch.

She twirls two more machetes and charges at Carolina. Carolina dodges and throws the plasma rifle at her, which Sweetheart cuts it in half and charges again. She is knocked back, and Rambo steps in to try and punch Carolina. Carolina backs away as Rambo and Sweetheart pursue her.

Guns gets up and feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns and sees Cal who grabs him by the throat.

Guns: (choking) So, what're you gonna do? Kill me?

California: No, mate. That's his privilege.

Guns turns and sees Maine who cracks his knuckles and neck. Cal shoves Guns to Maine, grabbing him by throat with his own hand and smashes his fist downward, knocking Guns to the ground unconscious with his helmet falling off.

Maine turns around to see Carolina and Cal, who had ran up, fighting Sweetheart and Rambo on a higher platform and rushes to assist. Carolina dodges Sweetheart's slashes as Cal blocks Rambo's punches.

Rambo: Come here, you fucker!

Cal knees Rambo in the visor, cracking it and disorienting him. Carolina pulls out an electric baton and hits Sweetheart with several hits. Cal back-kicks Rambo, sending him stumbling backwards into Maine, who holds him up and body slams him into the ground,

Rambo: Rrrr, away with you!

Maine begins charging at him but is sent flying by Rambo into Carolina, who was still fighting Sweetheart. Carolina immediately gets up and charges again, while Maine jumps for his Brute Shot. Cal rejoins him as he then fires a round, but the Rambo catches it and tosses it back towards them. The round explodes, briefly obscuring Cal and Maine from view. The smoke clears as Cal was kneeling for Maine to jump off his back and throw his Brute Shot at the Rambo, severing his robotic arm with the bladed edge.

Rambo: Ah, my robot arm! Ah, you bitch!

Maine charges and kicks him, grabbing his Brute Shot, embedded into the ground. Rambo gets up and Maine fires several rounds at him, knocking him back into the ocean. Carolina continues to fight Sweetheart. After a brief fist fight, Carolina kicks her helmet off and nearly knocks her off the platform. Sweetheart holds onto the edge, until a robotic arm reaches out. Taking the arm, she notices that it is being held by Maine.

Sweetheart: What? Fuck...

Maine stands aside, still holding her up, as Cal sprints full speed and soccer kicks her into the ocean. Maine drops the robot arm and looks at Cal, both of the muscular Freelancers nodding at each other.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

PRESENT DAY...

In the desert, Slade, Tucker, and Kan are standing in a circle as Caboose is repeatedly running into Epsilon, making him flicker.

Epsilon: Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop i-

Sarge runs up from behind them.

Sarge: Attention Blue Team! We would like to propose a temporary truce so that we may discuss our current situation. Do you accept?

Epsilon: I don't get it, does he still think we're fighting or something?

Slade: I still don't get how he hasn't grasped that this "Red vs Blue" was never real.

Caboose: Maybe it's a trap.

Tucker: I doubt they're smart enough to think of that. But then again, neither are you.

Caboose: How do you know that? Are you in with them?

Kan: Relax, Caboose.

Epsilon: Yes! We accept!

Sarge, Grif, and Simmons run up to where the Blues, Slade, and Kan are standing.

Tucker: So, what's up?

Sarge: It's our mutual friend slash enemy slash companion. Or "friendenemepanion" for short.

Rho appears along with Delta and Theta around Slade's head.

Rho: Ha. Try saying that word five times really fast.

Theta: (quickly) Friendenemapanion. Friendypandy. Er, no! Friendexama- oh, man!

Delta: I believe it would be better to focus on the discussion at hand and not words that are incapable of being pronounced.

Simmons: We're all starting to get a little concerned about Carolina.

Tucker: Really. Did these concerns start before or after she left us to die in the desert?

Grif: Dude, not now. The heat is killing me!

Simmons: Doesn't your helmet have cooling fans?

Grif: Yeah, but I sweat so much they short circuited.

Simmons: Geez, we haven't even been in the desert that long.

Grif: The desert? These things broke during basic training!

Caboose: Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't see how this applies to the trap.

Kan: There isn't one, Caboose.

Epsilon appears in front of both teams.

Epsilon: Guys, look, we need to focus. Now, I realize that's asking a lot of you since we're all a little uneasy about Carolina.

Grif: No. 'Uneasy' is sitting next to a homeless dude on the bus.

Simmons: Yeah, we've got a trigger-happy psychopath.

Slade: Maybe you guys weren't watching back at Zanzibar, but I made sure knew where we stood. She won't try anything so long as I'm here.

Sarge: Either way, it's like she's some sort of half- woman, half shark! Except the shark half has been given cybernetic powers. And the woman half is one-quarter jaguar!

Tex: (in Slade's mind) Jesus Christ...

Epsilon: Okay, okay, okay, we're all terrified of the scary Freelancer lady. That's why we need to stick together. It's just us, against them.

Tucker: Them?

Epsilon: We can't trust Wash or South. At least not as long as she's around.

Slade: David and Nat are on our side. I can assure you lot that, one-hundred percent.

Caboose and Tucker look at each other, as do Sarge and Simmons.

Sarge: Alright then, Tooth Fairy. What's the plan?

Epsilon: We need to figure out exactly what Carolina is up to. And why she isn't telling us anything.

Caboose: Okay! I'll go ask her! Oh, uh, yeah, I promised not to bring up the trap.

Epsilon: No! Caboose! Look, just... don't.

Caboose: Okay, fine. What would you like me to ask her?

Tucker: You could go ask her if she has the hots for me. I think I might've felt an emotional connection the last time she hit me.

Rho: Since when the hell did you become masochistic?

Kan: I believe he has been that way ever since Texas gave him his first beating.

Caboose: Tell her you'd like to make an emotional hot connection with her trap. Got it.

Tucker: Oh, that's even better!

Slade: Tucker, quit fuckin' up Caboose's brain more so than it already is.

Epsilon: Okay. A, please stop saying the word 'trap'. And B, you're an idiot.

Caboose: How about ambush?

Epsilon: Guys, I'm serious! We need something subtle; a way we can get close to her without her knowing.

Simmons: Hmmm. Hey, Caboose. You were the one who put Epsilon in that floating alien ball thing, right?

Caboose: Hover-Church can also solve crimes.

Simmons: Well, how would you feel about putting him in something a little...different?

Everyone follows Simmons' gaze and look at Carolina's Mongoose.

Epsilon: Oh, fuck you guys.

Caboose: Oh, you are going to solve so many crimes!

Slade: Okay, well, just to be safe: Delta we should transfer you too.

Delta: I must point out that two AI being inserted into the same vehicle may cause some minor damage to it's functionality.

Slade: No it won't. You just don't wanna get stuck with Church.

Delta: ...I cannot deny that statement.

Epsilon: Wow, ét tu, D? Ét tu?

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

DURING FREELANCER MANY YEARS AGO...

Headcase, CT, and two soldiers with turrets walk down a dimly lit hallway. Above them, Florida was looking at them from a vantage point.

Suddenly, Headcase stops the group. CT turns and aims her magnums, while Headcase pulls out a collapsible tomahawk.

Headcase: Catch!

He throws the tomahawk, and it embeds itself into Florida's chest, making him fall to the ground.

Headcase: Surprise. We've got company coming. Cut 'em down!

The two soldiers with gatling guns aim. Their guns spin up, and fire into the walkway that Florida was on. They stop firing, and Headcase walks up to them.

Headcase: Hold this position.

Wyoming pops out from behind a pillar and fires twice with his sniper rifle. The rounds rebound off the soldier's guns, and they open fire on Wyoming, as he rolls behind cover.

Headcase: Mow 'em down!

The soldiers giggle and weep, but keep firing. Wash and York arrive at Wyoming's position.

Wyoming: Well, about time.

York: Hey, Wyoming. Did we miss all the fun?

Wyoming: Hardly, chaps. Now where are our dear Carolina and California?

Carolina runs in and ducks behind a pillar as Cal slides behind her.

Wyoming: Ah yes.

Carolina: Wyoming, move up!

Wyoming: With all due respect, I'd prefer not to be killed. If at all possible.

Carolina: York! Got any ideas?

York: I don't know. Have we got any nukes?

Carolina: You mean besides the one I'm going to drop on Wyoming if he doesn't move, the hell, up?!

Wyoming: Yes, I can see everything just fine from back here. Thank you.

California: Way to be a team player, Reginald.

Carolina: We need to get into that bunker. That's where CT and their leader are holed up.

Wash: How are we going to get through all of this?!

Wyoming: So far, we're not.

York: Maybe Wyoming should try one of his knock-knock jokes.

Wyoming: Oh, who's there?

York: Nobody, stop.

Wyoming: Nobody, stop who? Shall I go on?

York: Yeah, I was kidding. Now shut up.

Wyoming: Shut up, who?

California: Mate, I will come back there and rip off that mustache of yours and sew your mouth shut with it if you don't knock it the fuck off!

Wyoming: You always know how to make someone's spine shiver, old chap.

Carolina: Both of you shut up. Okay, here's what we're going to do. Wash, you establish a line on that side. York and Wyoming, you-

Carolina is interrupted by a cloaked being dashing through the turret's fire. The cloak flickers to reveal Tex. She swings a punch at the Happy gunner, who dodges, and Tex rolls and cloaks out of sight. The soldiers fire at where she disappeared.

Carolina: Dammit, no! Cover me!

York: "Cover me"? That's the plan?!

California: Carolina, don't!

Wash dashes to the pillar on the opposite side, and prepares to engage.

Wash: Open fire!

Wash and York open fire. As Carolina rushes at the gunners and jumps off one of them, only to be hit by the other.

Carolina: Agh!

She lands badly, then gets up and runs after Tex.

York: Carolina! Damn it!

The twin turret soldiers fire on York and Wash, who retreat into cover.

Wash: Man, she really wants to win.

York: Yep. But it's not them she's fighting against.

California: Ya got that right, mate. Okay, Wyoming pull Florida into cover. Wash, York, keep 'em occupied. I need to get back there and secure Connie.

York: And just how are you gonna get through them?

Cal pulls out a flashbang and tosses it between the gunners, making them snicker and whine. Cal takes the opportunity to rush forward and kick them both down before running after the female Freelancers.

York: Gotta give it to Cal, he comes prepared.

Wash: Tell me about it.