In Blood Gulch, Simmons is poking in and out of Red Base and Sarge happily singing from afar. Slade tries his best to ignore them both by working on the Warthog.

Simmons: (running around Red Base) Grif! Grif!

Sarge: (singing to himself) Dododo. It's Friday, Friday, gotta' get down on Friday, hey!

Simmons: Grif!

Sarge: (still singing) Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend.

Simmons: Grif!

Sarge: (humming) Dododododo.

Simmons: HEY GRIF! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! Hey...Sarge?

Sarge: Why hello there Simmons! What a fine morning! What can I do you for?

Simmons: Wow. You seem to be in a good mood.

Sarge: I am! I have been all day! Can't figure out why though. But I'm just gonna' go with it. Who knows why these things happen? You have to embrace them while you can.

Simmons: Hey, have you seen Grif?

Sarge: Dangit! I think I just figured it out. No, I havn't seen him.

Simmons: Yeah, me neither. Hey, Slade! What about you?

Slade: No, I haven't seen the fat fuck either. Besides, I'm trying to fix the jeep after you lot's last attempt at an 'attack' on the Blues.

Simmons: Well, he's not sleeping. It's really not like him to be up and about this early.

Sarge: Yeah, it's only 1pm. Did you check his usual napping spots?

Simmons: Yeah, I did. I checked the bunks.

Sarge: Check under the bunks too?

Simmons: And in all the foot lockers.

Sarge: What about that space between the mattress and the springs? Where he keeps those magazines.

Simmons: I did!

Sarge: Look in the mess hall pantry?

Simmons: Yeah, the food was all eaten, but he wasn't sleeping on any of the shelves.

Sarge: So... he ate all the food... but made it more than ten feet before collapsing in a food-induced coma! That really doesn't sound like him.

Simmons: I know, he could be hurt! He could be laying somewhere right now in trouble! He could even be dying! I'm worried, sir.

Sarge: What are you worried about?

Simmons: I'm... worried about all the stuff I just said.

Slade: Simmons, Sarge hates Grif with a passion. So much that he couldn't care if he was trying save another world from destruction or trying to cure some plague invading another alien race. So the day he decides to give two flying fucks about Grif, will be the day Sarge declares the Blues aren't our enemy.

Sarge: Exactly! So, don't worry Simmons. I'm sure that Grif is either perfectly fine, or he's dead.

Simmons: That seems like two extreme scenarios, sir.

Sarge: Not really, in either case, he'll just spend most of the day laying around and smelling bad. That effect on us is the same.

Simmons: You make a strong point, sir.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Outside Blue Base, Caboose is pushing several giant crates out of the base as Tucker, Epsilon, and Rho watch from a nearby hill.

Caboose: Ah...ahh....ahhh...pushing. Ahhh...hernia.

Epsilon: Guys! What the hell are these boxes doing outside the base?

Tucker: Don't ask us, Caboose has been pushing them all morning.

Epsilon: Caboose! What the hell are you doing man?

Caboose: Ah. You told me to clean up the storage room.

Epsilon: Yeah, but all these boxes can't be just laying around outside.

Caboose: Why not?

Epsilon: What do you mean "Why not?" They're outside!

Rho: I thought those cases were waterproof? What does it matter?

Epsilon: I told you to organize the crates. I told you to stack them in rows, remember? I said: "It's just like Tetris."

Caboose: Well I did stack them like Tetris. But every time I made full row they didn't disappear like they're supposed to!

Epsilon: That's not what I meant! That's not how it works, dummy!

Tucker: Actually that's exactly how Tetris works. What, you haven't played the game before?

Epsilon: This is real life, Tucker!

Caboose: The only way to win is not to play.

Rho: Church, if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times: using analogies and metaphors on Caboose never works. 'Cause he thinks that everything is real.

Tucker: Hey, Caboose, maybe you should try humming that Russian song! That might make 'em disappear.

Caboose: Dee dee dee, dee dee dee, deedeedee, deedeedee... Deedeedee, deedeedee!

Epsilon: Stop that.

Caboose: Deedeedee, deedeedee deedeedee, deedeedee deedeedee.

Epsilon: Caboose!

Caboose: Dee dee dee deedeedee dee dee dee! Dee Da Dai! Didon don dondondon... dondon!

Epsilon: Caboose!

Caboose: Sorry...

Rho: Geez, dude, you are a serious mood killer, ya know that?

Epsilon: Okay come on guys, we can't just leave everything from the strorage room out in the middle of the lawn. Where are we going to put all this stuff?

Caboose: Well, the storage room is empty.

Epsilon: Uh! Okay, great. Let's put it in there.

Caboose: And I'll get back to work! Deedeedee deedeedee dee dee dee.

Epsilon: CABOOSE!

Caboose: Sorry...

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

In Valhalla of the real world, Slade is currently sparring against Wash and South as the Reds watch, being entertained.

South jumps up and tries to land a blow with her knee, but Slade blocks and throws her to the ground as Wash rushes up and throws several jabs that Slade blocks and dodges. South gets to her feet and back-kicks Slade in the side, making him fall on one knee.

Wash takes the opportunity to uppercut Slade in the face, making the Australian Freelancer grunt before grabbing Wash over his head and slamming him on the ground. South tries to clothe-line Slade, only for him to grab her arm and yank her over his shoulder and slam her on top of Wash.

Slade: (cracks neck) You two are getting better. Almost had me that time. But you need to work together. When you fight with a partner, you need to be able to know you can rely and combo up with that partner to bring down a strong enemy.

South: (gets off of Wash) Oh, look at you Mr. Big, Tall, and Full of Wisdom. I didn't see you needing US for help when it came to strong opponents.

Slade: Because I know that I can take 'em.

Sarge: (to Grif and Simmons) Ha! Told you boys! And that's why the Reds always win! Make sure you have heaping hunk of muscle that's put into one man!

Grif: Sarge, do us all a favor, and never use the word 'hunk' to describe somebody that's strong. 'Cause not only is that uncomfortable, it makes it seem like you're into guys.

Simmons: Yeahhhh....

Sarge: Pull your head out of your ass, numbnuts.

Wash then notices a certain Ultra Elite missing.

Wash: Hey, where's Kan? Isn't he usually by your side at all times?

Slade: I asked him if he could train Tucker with that sword of his. He only got lucky in the desert and luck is something that you can run out in the blink of an eye.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

On top of Blue Base, Kan goes for an overhead slash that Tucker immediately ducks at the last second from.

Tucker: You know, (ducks) when Slade said that (jumps back) you were gonna train me. I didn't think (slides left) you were gonna be (slides right) so brutal!

Kan: If you are to wield that blade, you must know how to use it with actual skill. After fighting Texas and the Meta, I would think that would have pushed you to want to know how to learn to use your sword even further.

Caboose and Theta, meanwhile, were watching them both in awe.

Caboose: Man, those things are really glow-y.

Theta: It's kinda like watching one of those behind-the-scene things from Star Wars with the two guys fighting with light-sticks.

Caboose: Great.... now I want snacks.

Theta glances back and freezes. Hoping his eyes were glitching, he sees what he could've sworn was a person move along the canyon wall in gray armor that perfectly blends in with the color of the canyon itself.

Theta: (nervously) Uhh.... guys?

Tucker: Dude, I've already got a sword I know how to use! Bow Chicka Bow Wow!

Theta: G-Guys?

Kan: Seems to me that that 'sword' has rusted with how little you've ever used it.

Tucker: Hey, fuck you split-lip!

Theta: GUYS!

Kan: What is it, Theta?

Theta: I think someone is here... someone not from our canyon?

Kan: You mean an intruder? Where?

Before Theta responds, Tucker looks up and sees something shimmying along the pillar of the base.

Tucker: There he is!

Tucker grabs his rifle off his back and starts shooting at the figure, as it jumps off and heads straight for Tucker with it's fist reeled back.

(AND THAT'S THE FIRST PREQUEL DONE! HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS GOT A KICK OUT OF IT!)