Outside Red Base, Simmons works on the now fully built Lopez.

Simmons: There! Man, that safety switch was hard to bolt on. Probably should've gotten a bigger one.

Donut: It's not how big the switch is, Simmons. It's how you flip it!

Simmons: Donut, shut up!

Slade: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! YOU'RE GIVING ME FUCKIN' HEADACHE!

Sarge: Alright, robot's all done! Time to fire it up! Let's hit the ol' power button. Who want to do the honors? Grif?

Grif: Meh.

Sarge: Well said. Donut?

Donut: Sorry. Just clear-coated my nails. I'm not chipping one of these babies!

Sarge: Fair enough. Slade?

Slade: The last time you lot told me to turn something on, I nearly got my hand blown off. No way I'm repeating that experience, mate.

Sarge: Alright...Simmons?

Simmons: It would be an honor, sir! Um, th-that is if you're sure you don't want to do it!

Sarge: Now that you mention it, it does sound kind of fun! I always did like pushing things.

Simmons: Oh...okay.

Slade: Walked right into the door with that one, didn't ya, mate?

Donut: Hey Sarge, what's this robot gonna do for us anyway?

Sarge: Oh you know, the usual robot stuff. Math we don't wanna do...

Simmons: Right, like THAT exists.

Slade: Why do you think we invented calculators?

Sarge: Menial tasks like maintaining the vehicle...

Simmons: Maintenance is crucial!

Slade: In which Sarge realizes that AFTER the damn jeep gets blown up.

Sarge: Organization...

Simmons: Hmm...maybe I should make a list of all the robot's duties.

Sarge: And basically any task that no one wants to do or is part of anyone's official job description.

Simmons: Additional work? You mean like extra credit? No one told me there was extra credit! What is it? I'll do it!

Slade: Would you tone it down on the kissarse?

Donut: Hey Simmons, it sounds like this robot is going to be doing all the jobs you do!

Simmons: Hahaha...yeah.

Donut: Well don't worry. I'm sure Sarge will find some other responsibilities for you! Right, Sarge? Sarge?

Sarge: Huh? Oh right. One of the robot's functions is to answer awkward questions that I don't want to. Better turn him on. (walks behind Lopez) Here we go. Let me just get this panel off, make some specific noise and drop it on the ground. (earthquake starts) Holy guacamole!

Simmons: Ahhhh! Another earthquake! Everyone institute emergency plan! Hold on a second while I put on my marshal's vest! Everyone just remain calm!

Slade slams his fist down on Simmons' head, making him fall to the ground as the quake stopped.

Slade: Will you pump the brakes?! The quake's stopped already.

Simmons: (realizes that) Oh...yeah.

Donut: You're just disappointed no one got to use the emergency plan, aren't ya' Simmons?

Simmons: Sorta...

Donut: Aww...there, there. Don't feel bad! No one's read it anyway!

Simmons: (begrudgingly) Oh...that's a relief.

Slade: It's over 200 pages long, mate! You couldn't have summarized it to a tenth of that?

Lopez then activates.

Lopez: [Hello. My name is Lopez. Thank you for activating me.]

Donut: Ooh-hoo, robot's on!

Lopez: [How are you?]

Slade: Pretty good, mate. How 'bout yourself?

Lopez: [I am functioning within acceptable parameters.]

Simmons: Uhh, is he speaking Spanish?

Donut: Sounds like it.

Simmons: Maybe the quake messed something up when you activated him, Sarge. Could be a polarity issue...

Sarge: Actually, I ordered the Español speech unit on purpose!

Simmons: You did?

Slade: What?

Sarge: Yeah! I thought if we had a little multiculturalism around here, we could all learn Spanish together! Get closer as a unit!

Donut: Speaking of getting our units closer...

Slade slaps his hand over Donut's mouth.

Simmons: Not now, Donut! Seems inconvenient, Sarge.

Sarge: Yeah it does. Don't know what the hell I was thinking! Seems really out of character for me.

Slade: You rigged the Warthog to play only Tejano music and make the squad form a conga line around the damn thing to make it run and THIS is what's out of character for you?

Another earthquake starts.

Lopez: [Warning! Warning! Earthquake!]

Donut: Hey look, Simmons! He's already doing your job!

Simmons: (grunts) Great.

Donut: Want me to get your vest?

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

At Blue Base, Epsilon, Tucker, and Rho steady themselves as the eathquake ends.

Tucker: Whoa, there's another quake!

Epsilon: Yep.

Rho: What's that like, the fourth one today?

Tucker: You guys don't seem too worried.

Epsilon: No we're not, 'cause we know all of this isn't real.

Tucker: Not real? You mean not real like your fake girlfriend?

Epsilon: No, no, no...my girlfriend is real! It's the world that's fake. Well, everything in it.

Rho: Uh, hello?

Epsilon: Yes, and you TOO.

Caboose runs over to them.

Caboose: EARTHQUAKE!

Epsilon: That was ten seconds ago...man, we really need to get your reflexes checked.

Caboose: Maybe I was just early for the next one! Now you'll be ready when it happens.

Epsilon: Oh shut up.

Caboose: Meteor.

Tucker: So everything in the world is fake, except your girlfriend.

Epsilon: Right.

Tucker: Who's in the world.

Epsilon: Yes.

Tucker: Where everything is fake.

Epsilon: Correct.

Caboose: Well I am following all of this as well as I follow everything else.

Rho: Don't lie, Caboose.

Caboose: (looks down) Sorry.

Epsilon: You see, all this...see...okay...we're just inside a memory unit. Which is sitting in a snowbank somewhere in the world...the real world.

Tucker: A snowbank?

Epsilon: Right, and that memory unit is dying, so we're feeling all these, like, you know...little quakes and stuff.

Tucker: If we're on a snowbank, why isn't it cold?

Epsilon: I don't know! It-it-it doesn't work like that, it's...like being inside of a snow globe.

Rho: There's snow in a snow globe, Church.

Caboose: I thought it was a globe made of snow!

Epsilon: Ugh, you're not getting it! Okay, try to think of it as, like, a...it's like a diorama.

Caboose: Ah yes.. cafeteria for dinosaurs.

Epsilon: Shut up, Caboose.

Caboose: Typhoon.

Tucker: So this memory snowbank thing...it's just sitting there and we're inside it, doing all this stuff. Why?

Epsilon: I don't know, I guess it's so that I can, you know, figure out about Tex and...what I'm supposed to do. And if I can't figure it out, well then I just need to...move on to the next memory unit, I guess.

Tucker: Right, and that's by finding those Freelancer guys you talked about before.

Epsilon: Exactly.

Tucker: And going on some big adventure with them and finding the snow memory!

Epsilon: Memory unit.

Tucker: Whatever. And then going into it?

Epsilon: Yes.

Tucker: Even though we're already inside it.

Epsilon: And so on, and so forth.

Tucker: And so on, and so on, until what happens?

Epsilon: I don't know! If I knew that I could stop already!

Rho: Well, you better figure it out man, 'cause I do NOT plan to live out the rest of my life in an unending repetitive circle.

Tucker: And we have to do all that, before the memory unit laying in the snow dies, and we're all crushed by falling rocks. (a giant rock conveniently falls down behind him) Good timing.

Epsilon: Yeah it was.

Rho: Thirded.

Caboose: Well if only there had been some type of warning system in place...

Tucker: Okay, I think it all makes sense now.

Epsilon: Uh, good! I'm glad.

Tucker: Dude, that was a fucking joke. I have no clue what's up!

Epsilon: I don't know, it doesn't seem that hard to me, man.

Tucker: I know one way to check. Hey Caboose, explain what's going on. Recap for us!

Caboose: We are going to eat lunch with dinosaurs.

Tucker: Yep. Perfect sense.

Rho: Church, make a note for future reference to NOT use children metaphors for explanations. Because not even Caboose understands.

Caboose: I'm going to eat a giant egg!