Outside Red Base, Simmons approaches Grif as he is just standing on a hill. Slade is next to them, laying under a shaded tree, napping.

Simmons: Hey Grif, can I talk to you for a minute?

Grif: Not now, Simmons. I'm right in the middle of something.

Simmons: Oh yeah? What are you doing?

Grif: Umm.... standing.

Simmons: I see. How time consuming.

Grif: You know, it really is, you think Command would send us a couple of lawn-chairs or something.

Simmons: I want to talk to you about Sarge. Don't you think he's been acting a little odd lately?

Grif: Uhh, he's been barking orders and spying on the Blues. What's so weird about that?

Simmons: Well, first of all, he's been spying in the wrong direction for three weeks.

Grif looks up and sees that Sarge is in fact looking at something on the other end of the base.

Grif: Wait, really?

Simmons: Yeah. He didn't even notice the Blues got a shipment this morning.

Grif: I don't believe it.

Simmons: I know, I'm starting to think there might be something seriously wrong with him.

Grif: You're telling me I've been pretending to work out here all this time and Sarge wasn't even watching? Why didn't you tell me this sooner?

Sarge: Grif! Simmons! Front and center on the double!

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Outside Blue Base, the Blues are admiring a Falcon parked outside.

Tucker: Soo... many. Church we are going to pick up so many chicks. I mean, I know I said that about the tank. But this, this is a frigging helicopter. You have any idea what the word 'pilot' means to women?

Caboose: This is the best Christmas ever.

Tucker: Shut up, Caboose!

Epsilon: Both of you shut up! You're ruining the moment.

Rho: What moment? Christ, you think THIS is the most coolest thing the UNSC's ever made? What about the Sabers and Longswords?

Epsilon: Man, imagine what we can do with this thing...

Epsilon imagines himself getting in the Falcon leaving Blood Gulch.

Imaginary Epsilon: Yes! I am out of here! See ya later losers!

Imaginary Rho: You won't be missed, asshole!

Tucker then imagines himself inside the Falcon as many females jump up and down shouting how much they love him.

Imaginary Tucker: Ladies please, I can't land till all 400 of you make room. It's going to be a pretty tight fit.

Tucker: Nice.

Caboose imagines the Falcon on fire with his imaginary self looking down at the real one.

Imaginary Caboose: I have no idea what I'm doing.

Tucker/Epsilon: DIBS!

Caboose: Present! Ahh, I mean dibs.

Rho: Okay, I am not getting involved in this so I'm just gonna go take a nap under a tree.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

In the real world, the Reds and Blues are currently driving towards Command.

Grif: Simmons, you got it yet?

Simmons: Nothing.

Grif: Okay, well keep your eyes open.

Sarge: What in Sam Hell are you two numbnuts talkin' about?

Grif: We're trying to find the most ridiculous street ever to exist: Bonner Street.

Slade pulls up the Prowler next to them.

Slade: Don't tell me you morons are still looking for that?

Grif: It's out there, Slade! You just don't believe in it.

Slade: Mate, there are only two things I believe in: God and dependable people. And seeing as none of you lot fit into either of those categories...

Simmons: We're dependable!

South: Uh, more like "need-to-depend-on".

Slade and South chuckle as Carolina drives between the Warthog and Prowler.

Carolina: All of you can it! We'll be there in a few hours so shut up and focus.

Slade: Give me a break, Rachel!

Carolina: Call me my name, one more time and I'll-

Slade: Get your arse handed to you like the last several times we fought back in the Project. So how 'bout you shut the hell up and get in front of us. You're supposed to be navigating, remember?

Carolina whips out her pistol and fires a shot that grazes the left side of Slade's helmet.

Carolina: Next time I won't miss.

Carolina then drives ahead.

Kan: How was it you fell in love with her again? Attractiveness? Independency? Strength?

Slade: At this point, Kan? I don't think that's even the Carolina I knew anymore.

Sarge: Slade, you're a good soldier and a good man. Don't go tellin' yourself any different, son.

Slade: (surprised) Uh, thanks, Sarge?

Sarge nods as the Reds somewhat speed ahead of them.

Slade: (in his head) This getting weirder by the day...

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Inside the Epsilon Unit of Red Base, Sarge scrutinizes a large metal wall at the end of the canyon. Simmons and Grif walk up to him.

Simmons: You wanted to see us, sir?

Sarge: You're damn right! We got ourselves in a emergency situation!

Simmons: Let me guess, is it the Blues?

Grif: Dude, when has it ever been the Blues? That would make too much sense.

Sarge: Over the past few weeks I've been conducting top secret reconnaissance. I think I may have stumbled upon an enormous gap in our defenses.

Simmons: What? Where?

Sarge: Worst place of all, directly behind us.

Sarge turns his head slightly at the wall.

Simmons: Umm... that's just a wall sir.

Sarge: Well, do you have any idea what's behind that wall?

Simmons: No...

Sarge: I'm disappointed in you for not thinking about it, Simmons.

Grif: What about me, Sarge? Are you disappointed in me for not caring about it?

Sarge: All this time, we've been putting our back to the wall, without considering what could be on the other side. For all we know, the Blues could be building a massive army right behind us. Or it could be some sort of alien wall, containing a despicable evil waiting to get loose!

Grif: Umm, Sarge, maybe you should sit down for a while, clear your head. I bet if you ask Command to send us a few lawn chairs-

Simmons: (interrupts) You know, come to think of it, that wall does seem to be really out of place. I mean why would anybody build a wall in a middle of a empty canyon?

Grif: Why would anybody build a military base in a empty canyon?

Simmons: (sighs) Don't start that again!

Grif: These are questions that will never be answered, but will continue to be asked.

Sarge: Damn it, men! We will not rest till we know exactly what is behind that wall. I already got Lopez conducting research in the field. Lopez status Oh El Reporto!

Lopez comes out from behind a tree.

Lopez: [I am 100% sure it's a wall.]

Sarge: Hot potato! I knew there was something foreign and mysterious about it.

Lopez: [I hate you so much.]

(THERE'S THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THIS SERIES DONE! NEXT TWO WILL BE UP SOON!)