Freelancer HQ
To Freelancer HQ, with everyone gathered in one of the Command buildings.

Chairman (Voiceover): Dear Director. Please do not attempt to recast this investigation as some type of personal vendetta. Our questions to this point have been fairly standard. Your reactions have not. As such, we have secured all your records and logs by the authority granted us by the UNSC. Now we shall see exactly what it is, that you have to hide.

Wash: Alright, we got in, but that's only part of our mission. So, no celebrating yet.

Grif: (Sarcastically) Aw shit, and I was gonna be in charge of confetti.

Leo: Haha.. good times.

Grif: Maybe, for you.

Wash: We still need to reach the A.I. storage facility. Security's tight since the Freelancers tried to break in here.

Church: You mean when they tried to steal the Alpha before?

Wash: Exactly.

Grif: The Freelancers tried to break in to their own command facility? That's dumb.

Simmons: That's what we're doin' right now, you jackass.

Grif: So? Just because we do something doesn't make it smart.

Simmons: (sighs) Tell me about it.

Wash: I have the necessary clearance to get close to the storage hall. The plan is: I'll take Church and Leo as a prisoner. If I take more than two of you it won't be believable.

Sarge: Hold on a sec, why does Leo have to be in this plan, of yours?

Wash: Trust me, Leo will be helping me a lot by coming with me.

Leo: (Smiles) It's alright... dad, I can do this.

Sarge: Mmm... fine but, if he gets hurt-

Wash: You'll paint me blue and kill me, got it.

Caboose: Agent Washington, I want you to take me instead.

Wade: Uh.. Caboose? What are you talking about?

Caboose: I will be your prisoner. Let Church and Leo go. They don't have anything to do with this!

Church: Caboose, we're not actually going to be prisoners. We're just gonna pose as one so that we can get past-

Caboose: Have a good life you two. Don't worry. I won't tell them anything. They won't get any information out of me. No matter how nicely they ask.

Leo: Caboose.. that's very noble of you.. but, it's not very necessary, right now.

Sarge: Sacrificing himself for his CO and his enemy. What a good soldier. Why can't you two be more like him?

Grif: What, braindead?

Simmons: I would sacrifice Grif for you, sir.

Sarge: I know you would, Simmons. But it's just not the same thing.

Simmons: No, but seriously I would. Just give me the word. I'll do it right fucking now, let's go. Bring it.

Wade: But, why are you just taking Church and Leo? What about the rest of us?

Wash: We're sneaking past seven levels of armed checkpoints. Are you volunteering?

Wade: Ok.. I see your point.

Wash: The rest of you hole up and wait for us to finish. And don't touch anything.

Sarge: How will we know when you're done?

Wash: When you see every guard in the base running in one direction? That means we're probably in trouble.

Leo: All the guards?

Church: Whu- yuh- wait, wh-why are we taking us, again?

Wash: Just keep the guards off of us, and we'll radio when we're in position. This will be our extraction point.

Grif: Keep them off you?

Wash: Yeah.

Church: Distract them, dipshit.

Grif: How?

Wash: Well, this is the center that came up with all the ridiculous scenarios you guys have suffered through over the years. So have fun. Break some shit.

To Wash walking Church and Leo up to a checkpoint with two guards in front of a door.

Guard 1: Hold on, don't come any closer. I need you to stay right there, sir.

Wash: Understood. I need access to the next level. The Councilor wants to interrogate another two more survivors from Outpost 17-B.

Guard 1: What? I thought all the Blues and Reds at Valhalla were dead. Where'd did these ones come from?

Wash: I don't have to explain anything to you, soldier. Stand down.

Guard 1: Sorry sir, I didn't mean anything by that-

Wash: Fine. I'll let it go. As you were.

Guard 1: Something doesn't seem right to me. I'm gonna have to call this in.

Wash: Absolutely. Call it in. Let me just... NOW!

Leo ducks, allowing Wash to shoot above him and shoot one of the guards in the head. Church drops to a knee and empties his entire clip at the other guard at point blank range; the guard is still standing, unscathed.

Church: Uh, hey can I get a little help? I'm... out of bullets.

Leo just looks at Church with a disappointing look, before pulling his magnum from his side and shooting the last Guard.

Church: Thanks.

Leo: Church, I understand missing with a sniper rifle.. but, a pistol?

Church: It's not my fault, they didn't add aim assist to these!

Back to the Reds with Wade and Caboose. Simmons is looking outside and sees one of the Guard patrols walking past.

Simmons: This patrol was seventeen seconds late. Who's runnin' this place? How inefficient. Sloppy...

Wade: This is soooo, boring!

Grif: So what? Bored is good. Bored means we're not dying. Boredom I can deal with. I have years of practice.

Caboose: Yes! Grif talked, I won, I won the who-can-be-the-quietest game again!

Grif: Yeah, good job. That's ten in a row for you Caboose. Hey, you know what? We should play again. Best eleven out of twenty-one.

Caboose: Yes. You're all going down.

Simmons: Heh. We should try holding our breath next.

Wade: Are you trying to get him to pass out?

Simmons: It's that or listen to more of his nonsense.

Sarge: Well, that's it. I can't stand just sittin' around. I'm goin' mad with anticipation.

Simmons: We've only been here twelve minutes.

Sarge: Are you sure? My mission clock says three days.

Simmons: (sigh) That's because you wouldn't synchronize at the start of the mission, remember? I said we should synchronize, and you said "Why would we synchronize? It's like we're in the future, seeing what the enemy does before they do it. Why would we give up the advantage?"

Sarge: Come on, Simmons, who could possibly remember an annoying conversation we had three whole days ago?

Simmons: Twelve minutes ago.

Sarge: Grif, what's your clock say?

Grif: Um, actually mine's a countdown to the next episode of Battlestar Galactica. Priorities dude.

Caboose: Ah- ah- I just won again! Man, you guys are really bad at this game! It's- it's like you're not even playing at all!

Wade: Hey Caboose, how about a game of rock, paper, scissors?

Caboose: Yes, you are going down!

Wade: Sure, Caboose.

Back to Wash, Leo and Church in a large room with holographic symbols shimmering on the walls.

Wash: Here. This is it.

Leo: (Shocked) What.. is this place?

Wash: It's the storage facility for all the A.I.s. The rejects, the bad variants... everything is here. Everything.

Church: Dear lord, what're all these lights on the walls?

Wash: It's holographic storage.

Church: And one of these things is Alpha?

Wash: You two, work on closing that door. I'll find what we're looking for. And when I do, every soldier on base is sure to come running. So be ready.

Wash approaches one of the walls.

Whispering voice: Washington... Washington... You suck...

Time passes and Leo is poking at one of the holographic symbols with it buzzing every time, he pokes it.

Church: Well, you stop that! It's starting to get on my nerves!

Leo: So, far everything seems to get on your nerves.

Church: (Arms crossed) Ok, what's going? Do have a problem with me or something?

Leo: Yes- I mean no- Look Church, I just can't tell you.

Church: What can't you tell me!?

Wash: (Yells) Guys, I got it, get over here.

Church: (Yells) Were coming! (To Leo) This conversation isn't over, got it.

Leo: (Sighs) Yeah... I got it.

Leo and Church, make their way over to Wash who's crouching down near one of the A.I storage's.

Wash: Here, this is it. There.

Church: Oh, great you found it already?

A loud reverberating boom comes from the storage, causing Church to clutch his head.

Church: Ah!

Leo: Church? What's wrong?

Church: Nothing I just had like a weird flash- uh, ah!

Wash: Are you alright?

Church: Yeah, I think it's this thing. It's like, sending out images. Is this the Alpha?

Wash: No. This is not the Alpha.

Church: No? Then what is it?

Wash: This is Epsilon. ...This is my A.I.

The End
================================