Epsilon Unit/Blue Base
To Church, Zeta and Tucker standing just outside of Blue Base.

Church: You two, c-come on guys, help me. I need to find a way to have her stick around a bit longer.

Tucker: Oh yeah sure, no problem. Maybe you and your girlfriend can find time to go on a killing spree. Do some real bonding.

Church: Tucker.

Tucker: Oh, that's right, not your girlfriend. Just the girl that you're stalking, through multiple planes of existence.

Church: Hhgh.

Tucker: Romantically.

Church: Please, I just need a little more time.

Tucker: Why, who cares?

Zeta: Are you still trying to fix things up?

Church: Zeta, you know why I have to do this.

Zeta: Yeah, yeah I know. So, where is she anyway?

Tex, Wade and Caboose come walking up behind them.

Church: She's talking with Wade and Caboose.

Tucker: Well, that should keep her busy for at least a few minutes. Half an hour if she starts asking Caboose math problems.

Tex, Wade and Caboose are now, standing besides Church.

Tex: Hey, I'm gonna stick around a while longer.

Church: You are? I mean... you are?

Tex: Yeah. Wade here said you guys need some help with the tank, so I figured ah, I could help with that too. What can I say, I like the kid.

Wade: Caboose, paid her a hundred dollars.

Tex: Yeah, that too.

Tucker: Money - why didn't I think of that?

Zeta: Because you don't have any money?

Tucker: Good point. Hey Caboose, give me some money!

Caboose: Oka- wait. S'this a trick. I'll pay you a hundred dollars to show me how it works.

Red Base
To Grif, Leo and Simmons who are still standing over the remains of Lopez.

Simmons: I can't believe Leo was the only one who knew this was Lopez and you guys thought it was me.

Grif: What do you expect, he had the perfect disguise.

Simmons: He painted himself maroon. Badly!

Grif: Exactly! How could anyone be expected to see through that?

Leo: He did speak Spanish, no one else does.

Grif: That did seem weird at first, but, Simmons always go through those annoying phases. Like, remember that time you were gonna learn to play banjo, or the time you were gonna be a vegan?

Simmons: What do you mean phases, I am a vegan.

Leo: He can also play the banjo to, pretty good actually.

Grif: I know, and isn't all that annoying?

Simmons: But you couldn't figure it out. Hawh, freaking Leo is the only one here that knows me at all!

Grif: To be fair, we didn't know Lopez either. We knew you both equally as little, so, you can see how we'd get confused. Also, we didn't really care.

Simmons: Yeah, but Lopez was here a day. I've been here for years.

Grif: You have? See, I'm learning new stuff about you already. Now the next time an evil robot tries to take your place, I'll have questions to ask it.

Leo: Hey Grif, you should probably just shut up now.

Simmons: Why the hell am I the one cleaning up my own body, anyway? This is insulting. Hey what do you guys think he was using all this equipment for?

Leo: He did say something about needing it for the earthquakes.

Grif: Who cares, it was probably some boring stuff?

Simmons: Hmmm...

Grif: Oh, wait, I forgot, you like boring stuff. Never mind what I said, I'm sure it's something for sports.

Simmons: It looks like we have a mystery to solve.

Grif: What're you, twelve?

Leo elbows him in the side.

Grif: Fine, shutting up!

Leo just shakes his head, before looking at Simmons.

Leo: There's really not that much to solve, but go ahead if you want.

Blue Base
To Tex at the tank with Caboose and Wade, as they try starting up the tank as Church approaches them.

Church: Hey uh, hey you got a second?

Caboose pops up from the other side of the tank.

Caboose: Sure! What do you want to talk about?

Church: No, not you Caboose.

Wade: What about me?

Church: Not you either, Wade. I just want to talk to Tex.

A Tremor happens.

Wade: Oh. Sure, go ahead.

Church: I wanna talk to her alone.

Caboose: You can't talk to someone alone, there has to be two people. Those are the rules, I don't make them.

Church: By myself.

Caboose: Well, I- I suppose she could stand pretty far away, and then you can yell. That might, that might work.

Church: Caboose, I would like for you, to leave.

Caboose: Oh I, I get it, I'm so- I'm so embarrassed, I'll just go over there for a little while.

Church: Thank you.

Caboose: Come on, Tex and Wade.

Church: No no no no no, Tex, Te- please, can you help me out here?

Tex: Hoho, no no no. I'm sure this conversation is a lot more entertaining, than whatever you wanna say to me.

Church: Ughhh, Wade come on help me here!

Wade: Nah, I've got to agree with Tex. This is gold comedy, right here!

Church just sighs in annoyance.

Red Base
Inside of Red Base, the reds are all gather in the middle of the base with Sarge standing in front of them. Another tremor occurs.

Sarge: Men, thanks for gathering so quickly. It appears we have a crisis on our hands. I'm now going to turn this meeting over to our Chief Science Engineer, Simmons.

Simmons: Houh, finally some respect.

Simmons walks up to the front and stands near Sarge.

Sarge: ...who is gonna talk for a little while, but not too much. And he's not going to over explain things in that way he does, and then he's gonna stop talking and turn the meeting back over to me. Simmons.

Simmons: Thank you Sarge. Men, I have made a grave discovery. Analyzing equipment that Lopez was using, I have found that the planet is undergoing a total seismic breakdown. There's clear evidence of an unstoppable chain of events which is leading to a full systemic collapse. Now I realize this may cause some of you to panic.

Donut/Grif: ...

Simmons: Or, it may confuse most of you because you don't understand what I said.

Sarge: Can we wrap this up please.

Leo: Just say it again, but simpler.

Simmons: Fine, the world is breaking, we're all gonna die.

Simmons goes back to where he stood, before.

Grif: What!?

Leo: Are you guys trying to do an April fools joke!? This exactly what you said last year!

Sarge: Nope, this is the real deal. We gonna die painful deaths... especially, Grif.

Donut: Why would you tell us like that!? It's like ripping off a Band Aid!

Simmons: You know what, fuck you guys. Stupid people get to live a life of worry and fear, you're all doomed.

Grif: This is the worst news ever.

Sarge: Men don't worry. We've got a plan in place to resolve the problem.

Simmons: I can't wait to hear this.

Sarge pulls out a board on stands, which is entitled: "Sarge's Plan to Kick the Planet's Ass". As another tremor occurs.

Sarge: Now we all know that the planet is trying to kill us. So we need to strike back, and quickly! Scare the crap out of it.

Leo/Simmons: Huh!?/What!?

Sarge: Grif, what's that bad sci-fi movie where they discover a natural disaster and their first attempt to solve the problem is to use a huge bomb?

Grif: That's... every bad sci-fi movie, Sir.

Sarge: Exactly. So that's what we're gonna do. Now here's the plan. We're going to build an enormous drilling machine, and institute my three phase plan. Step one, bust through the crust; step two, skedaddle through the mantle; step three, bore to the core. Once in the core, we'll set off an enormous bomb to stabilize the planet.

Simmons: How will a bomb stabilize the planet?

Sarge: It won't; duh. But through a series of dramatic setbacks, calamities, and yes, hopefully a few of us dying on the mission, we'll find the true cause and solution to the problem. And, save the world.

Simmons: Seriously?

Leo: Sarge, surely there's another way we can do this.

Sarge: Trust me, Leo this plan is foolproof.

Grif: I like the plan.

Donut: Me too, let's do it.

Leo: Seriously? You guys are just going to agree like that?

Grif: You got a better idea? Besides, it's not like there's anything else to do. Other then sleep... actually, now that I think about it-

Sarge: Great, I'll get to work on the drill. Donut, you find the deepest darkest hole where we can stick it in.

Donut: I have a list of candidates right here!

Sarge: Leo and Grif, I need you boys to build us a bomb.

Grif: How the hell do we do that?

Sarge: Find a way, you two. Time is short.

Leo: (Sighs) I'll just go look around to see if we have the materials to build a bomb.

Grif: I guess, I'll look on the Internet for instructions to build it?

Sarge: Excellent! Let's get to work men, we've got a planet to fight! ...I mean save. Whatever.

Blue Base
Once Church was able to get rid of Caboose and Wade. He walks back up to Tex, who's still trying to get the tank working.

Tex: (Mutters) Come on, damn it.

She sighs as the engine doesn't turn on.

Church: Still won't start huh?

Tex: No. But it's getting there.

Tex walks over to Church.

Church: Did you uhh... try checking the starter?

Tex: (Sarcastically) Oh, what a brilliant idea. Next you're gonna' ask me if I tried the keys.

Church: You have keys?

Tex: No.

Church: How do you know so much about vehicles?

Tex: Well, during the training. We had to learn to care for our equipment. Plus, I've always liked cars.

Church: Uhh... training huh? Was that before...

Tex: Before what? Before I was killed? Before you brought me back as, whatever I am now?

Church: Oh. You know about that?

Tex: Well, of course I do. I know what you know. You made me.

Church: Well...no, not me.

Tex: Whatever. Him.

Church: Why did he do it? I...don't even remember when you first came around, you were just...kinda' there one day. It was like uhh... a training session or something like that.

Tex: (Sighs) Yeah, Wyoming and Maine. Big dummies.

Church: Well, why did he bring you back?

Tex: You know what Church, I don't know? You tell me. He didn't exactly ask me what I wanted, I just kinda' came along for the ride, I didn't get a vote.

Church: But you were there when Alpha was there. Nobody else was.

Tex: I don't know. What can I say? I guess we were inseparable.

The tank suddenly turns on as they both look at it.

Tex: There you go! Tank's fixed! See what happens when you treat something, right?

Church turns to look at Tex.

Church: Yeah. Yeah, as a matter of fact I think I do.

The End
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