Caffeinated Coffee Tickets

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We see Mordecai, Rigby and Y/n at The Coffee Shop for a break from their job. Y/n is eating a sandwich and drinking some hot coffee while Mordecai and Ruby are watching the Fist Pump commercial on the TV.

Rigby: Yes! Fist Pump!

Mordecai and Rigby do fist pumps.

Mordecai & Rigby: Heh heh heh heh. Yeah, yeah! (Continue fist pumping until the music ends). Heh heh heh heh heh!

Y/n just smile and roll his eyes at the antic of his friends / coworkers.

Announcer: (Spoken very fast) Listen up, pump heads, Fist Pump is coming to Slammers! They just got out of jail, and rehab, and now they're back, and ready to rock your 11-through-15-year-old pants off! That's our demographic: get over it. That's right! Fist Pump live!

Other Announcer: Live!

Announcer: At Slammers this Friday!

Other Announcer: Friday!

Announcer: Be there or be a loser!

Mordecai: Ha ha ha, there's gonna be so many losers at that concert.

Rigby: We have to go to that concert.

Mordecai: Seriously? Dude, they were cool in the 3rd grade. But now-

Rigby: Correction, they're cool in any grade, but you wouldn't know that. Probably because you hate yourself or something.

Mordecai: Dude, we don't have the money for those tickets.

Y/n: Why do you guys always doesn't have enough money?

Mordecai: Because we spend it.

Y/n: Yeah but on what?

Rigby: Doesn't even matter. We can figure out a way, but you're too busy figuring out a way to hate yourself.

Mordecai: Why do you wanna go so bad?

Rigby: Going to this concert could be the biggest moment of my life.

Y/n: That's your biggest moment in your life? Going to a concert?

Mordecai: Wow, sounds like your life sucks.

Rigby: SHUT UP!

Mordecai: Heh-heh-heh-heh.

Margaret: Hey, guys.

Mordecai: Hey, Margaret.

Y/n: And cue the simping.

Mordecai just sent Y/n a side glare.

Margaret: Were you guys talking about the concert?

Rigby: We were talking about a concert. Is the concert you're talking about Fist Pump?

Margaret: Haha, yeah, cool.

Mordecai: Wait, you're going?

Margaret: Yeah, I am. I know they're kinda old, but I remember them from when I was a kid. Besides, everyone is gonna be there. It's gonna be fun. You guys gonna go?

Mordecai: I'm totally gonna go.

Y/n: Simp (He says under his breath)

Rigby: Oh, so now you wanna... (Mordecai punches him) Owww!

Mordecai: We'll be there.

Margaret: Cool....see you guys there. (she walks away)

Mordecai: Yeah....see ya.

Rigby: I can't believe you're going to a Fist Pump concert just for some lady pecs.

Mordecai: Rigby, one day you'll be old enough to understand the real reason that people go to concerts.

Y/n: As a distraction to fill the void of their emptiness with life.

Mordecai: What? No! ....you want to talk about it?

Rigby: Whatever, it's to listen to music: I already know that. Now, how are we going to get the money for those tickets?

Mordecai: Dude, it's gonna be easy. We just have to work some extra hours.

Rigby: Extra work? I don't even like regular work.

Mordecai: Do you like Fist Pump?

Rigby: Yes.

Mordecai: Hmm, then you like extra work.

Rigby: Hmm, fine.

Mordecai: Hmm. Hmm.

Rigby: Hmm. Hmm.

Mordecai & Rigby: Hmm. Hmm.

Y/n: Well I'll be seeing you both there.

Mordecai: You're going to the concert too?

Rigby: Oh yeah! Y/n is going to be there as well! I knew he's cooler that you Mordecai!

Mordecai punch Rigby on the stomach

Y/n: Hahaha yeah. A friend of mine is coming here. We both like Fist Pump so I propose we go there together. And here's my tickets!

Y/n pull out two tickets from his pocket and shows it Mordecai and Rigby

Mordecai / Rigby: Woaaaah...Lucky.

Y/n: See you guys at the concert!

Y/n walked out of the shop...a few minutes later came back in, but now wet and look beat up

Mordecai: Woah...what happened to you?

Y/n: I got mugged. And not only that a bunch of kids throw a balloon full of water at me. And now, my wallet and the tickets is gone! Great. No money, no ticket and all beat up as well as wet. She's going to hate me. It seems like I have to join you guys with this extra work

Mordecai: Wait...she?

Rigby: You have a friend who's a girl?

Y/n: Uhh yeah? She's a childhood friend of mine. We always hang out together when we were kids, so I'm glad to meet her again. But now it's ruined.

Mordecai: Hey man. Don't worry. We'll get the tickets and you'll able to hang out with your friend.

Rigby: Yeah! We're here for you man!

Y/n: Thanks guys (give both of them a fist bump)

Scene cuts to Skip's house

Benson: Let me get this straight. You and Rigby want me to give you overtime, and even though you can't even finish the regular amount of work that you normally have, you want me to add on even more. I can agree with Y/n because he's responsible unlike you both.

Mordecai: Yes.

Benson: Ah-ha-ha! No.

Rigby: Aw, come on, Benson, please. Fist Pump is playing at Slammers, and we don't have enough money for tickets.

Benson: Haha, are you serious? Fist Pump? You know what kind of people go to those concerts?

Muscle Man stand on the cart while Hi Five Ghost drives it

Muscle Man: Whoo! That's right, ladies, we got two tickets to Fist Pump. See ya later, grandmas!

Mordecai: Y/n is going!

Y/n: Thanks for throwing me under the bus, you jerk!

Benson: You're going to that concert?

Y/n: Yeah. I'm going to there with an old friend of mine. We both love Fist Pump a long time ago and decided...why not?

Benson: Hmm...fine. You can work an overtime Y/n. And I'll give you some bonus because you always been a helpful person to me and the park.

Mordecai: What about us?

Benson: Not going to happen.

Rigby: (grunts aggressively) Benson, you listen and you listen good. (Drops to the ground and pleads) Please Benson, please give us overtime! Please?

Y/n: Dude. You're just embarrassing yourself

Benson: What's the big deal? It's just some talentless band.

Y/n: No they're not! Ok...maybe a little. But all bands are like that!

Skips: Actually they aren't that bad, not that I'm into that stuff. We're pretty backed up though. I think you should give them the work.

Pops: Oh, I agree. I say if they want to see 'Pump Fist', then let them see 'Pump Fist'.

Benson: (sighs) Fine. You can work overtime.

Mordecai & Rigby: Ohhhhh!!!

Y/n: Thanks Benson

Benson: Here's a list of things we need done, when you finish them, you'll get your money.

Mordecai & Rigby: Ohhhhh!!! (They leave)

Benson: (sighs) Idiots. And Y/n! Make sure that they don't do anything wrong!

Y/n: Will do boss!

A montage scene follows in which Mordecai, Rigby and Y/n power through several chores at regular speed

Rigby: Dude, I'm fading fast.

Mordecai: Don't worry, dude. We just gotta fight it with coffee.

They take a sip of coffee, and the montage scene resumes with faster music. The trio are back at work at ultra-high speed. Benson is pleasantly surprised at how sparkling the house is and hands over the overtime pay to Mordecai, Rigby and Y/n. Y/n take his money but Mordecai and Rigby vacuum their money before tearing open the vacuum bags to get the money back

The scene shifts to outside the Slammers club's box office

Mordecai: Three for Fist Pump.

Guy in ticket stand: $600.

Mordecai & Rigby: What?

Y/n: Ok. I know tickets to a concert is expensive and all but what they heck is that price?!

Mordecai: Yeah! I thought they were 50!

Guy in ticket stand: $50 tickets are sold out. All that's left are Super Deluxe front row seats.

Mordecai: Aw, man!

Rigby: No, no, no! Mordecai, wait, wait, man, we can't give up. Fist Pump...

Mordecai: I know, dude, but I just don't want to work anymor--. Oh my...

Mordecai drools as he sees Margaret in her skimpy Fist Pump top. She waves as he stands in stunned amazement

Mordecai: Maybe I could work a little more. Alright, dude, let's do this.

Rigby is down on the ground sleeping

Mordecai: You're lucky I care about lady pecs.

Y/n: Your horniness knows no bounds you know that?

The scene cuts back to outside Skips' house

Mordecai: Benson, we need more money.

Rigby: (Takes a sip of coffee) Yeah, give us more money.

Benson: What's wrong with Y/n?

Y/n was shaking and twitching as he looked around

Y/n: Too...many...caffeine

Benson: ....right...There's no more chores left. Unless... you want to mow the lawn.

Mordecai & Rigby: The lawn?

We take a bird's eye view of the huge lawn

Mordecai: Aw, what? That'll take forever.

Benson: Here's the keys. You know where the mower is. (He throws the keys to the duo. They hit Rigby on the face and he moans in pain.) Good luck. (Benson drives away on the golf cart)

Mordecai: Hmm, hmm. Who needs luck when we have coffee?

Mordecai & Rigby: (weakly) Ohhhhhh...

Y/n: Dude. I can't take another drop of coffee...I just can't

Mordecai: We have to. It's the only way we can get the energy to work and get the money.

Rigby: Dude, seriously though, my eyes won't stay open anymore, and I think we're almost out of coffee.

Mordecai: Nonsense, dude, we got plenty of coffee.

Tries to take a sip from the coffee pot, but there is no more coffee, and he lays on the ground

Rigby: Mordecai, what happened?

Mordecai: (weakly) Need more coffee. Need more Margaret.

Rigby: (weakly) Fist Pump.

Y/n:  (weakly) need...sleep

Giant Coffee Bean: Coffee, coffee.

A giant coffee bean clad in underpants and a headband appears on screen, along with a Japanese man in a business suit. It transpires that he is translating for the coffee bean

GCB: Coffee?

Translator: Greetings, fellow Fist Pump fans. May we help you get some tickets?

Mordecai: What? Who are you?

Y/n: Am I full of caffeine that I'm seeing a giant coffee bean that's clad in underpants and wearing a headband?

Rigby: Nope. I'm seeing it as well.

Giant Coffee Bean: Coffee, coffee.

Translator: As you can see, I am a giant coffee bean. I can bring you caffeine. Do you accept?

Mordecai: Wait, what?

Giant Coffee Bean: Coffee coffee, coffee coffee coffee, coffee coffee, coffee coffee coffee.

The coffee bean holds out a contract that only has the word 'coffee' on it several times

Rigby: Ah, cool, a contract, let's sign it!

Rigby signs the contract. The coffee bean takes it back, presses it to his stomach area, and absorbs it.

Y/n:...whatever in that contract is going to bite us in the back later. I just know it.

Giant Coffee Bean: Coffee, coffee!

He then grabs his nipples, screams, and shoots coffee into the mouths of Mordecai and Rigby

Y/n: ...yeah. I'm good thanks

Giant Coffee Bean: Coffee, coffee!

He shoots coffee out his nipples and it enter Y/n mouth as well

A montage plays in which Mordeca, Rigby and Y/n pump their fists and drive the lawnmower, with the aid of the Giant Coffee Bean's regular infusions of more coffee. Working for the Weekend by Loverboy plays in the background. The montage ends as Mordecai, Rigby and Y/n walk into Mordecai and Rigby's bedroom and shut the door, new tickets in hand

Mordecai and Rigby: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Mordecai: Aw, man, I didn't know deluxe tickets were coated in diamonds.

Y/n: Money well earned I guess.

Rigby: So cool.

Translator: Where are the other two tickets?

The coffee bean and his interpreter are already in the room

Rigby: (shocked) Oh, jeez! (puting on his Fist Pump t-shirt) There's no 'other tickets', man. We only had enough for two four.

Translator: But we had a contract.

Rigby: (screams) Woooooo!!! Fist pump!

Mordecai: (normal voice) Woo, Fist Pump.

Y/n: I just got a text that she's coming.

Giant Coffee Bean: (angrily) Coffee, coffee, coffee!

Rigby shows Mordecai and Y/n a toy gun with a pumping fist on the end of it

Rigby: Dude, check it. Bang bang! Dude, I've got two if you want to take one to the concert.

Translator: Mordecai, Rigby and Y/n, we are very excited for you to be the ones to see Fist Pump. Please accept this coffee to help you make it through concert.

Mordecai and Rigby accept the cups, which have tea bag strings hanging over the side

Mordecai & Rigby: Thanks.

Y/n: Oh no thanks. I had enough of coffee for one night.

Translator: Please. We insist.

Y/n: Well...I guess it'll be rude to decline it.

The three take a slurp and begin looking sleepy

Mordecai: Hey, what the...? this isn't coffee!

The translator and the coffee bean laugh

Interpreter: It's camomile tea. The sleepiest of all teas.

Mordecai: Rigby, get the...

Rigby is already asleep as Mordecai falls to the floor

Mordecai: ... tickets.

Y/n: I...got...it (fall face first on the floor)

The screen goes black, and lights up to see Mordecai awakened by a crashing noise outside. From the bedroom window he sees the coffee bean ready to drive away with the translator on the golf cart, complete with Mordecai and Rigby's Fist Pump clothes

Mordecai: Hey!

The coffee bean looks up before jumping in the cart and driving off

Mordecai: Rigby! Y/!! Come on, they got the tickets! Come on, let's go, let's go!

Rigby wakes up and feels his chest and notices his t-shirt is gone

Rigby: (frustrated and tired) Fist Pump!

Y/n: (Woke up) Why did they stole my ticket as well?!

The three run outside to see the coffee bean and translator heading down the driveway on the cart

Rigby: Now what are we supposed to do?

Mordecai: Come on. I have an idea.

The scene cuts to outside Skips' house. Benson is walking to the gas pump and whistling contentedly. Mordecai, Y/n and Rigby bust through the garage door on the lawnmower, knocking Benson over as gumballs spill out of his front

Benson: You morons and Y/n! Gets back here and help me pick up my gumballs!

Y/n: Sorry Benson!

A chase scene ensues

Giant Coffee Bean: (threateningly) Coffee. (Subtitles display - "Take Care Of Them")

Mordecai, Rigby and Y/n pull up beside the cart

Y/n: Give us the tickets!

The translator produces a chainsaw and pulls the power on. The three friends scream and duck as the Interpreter lunges at them, cutting some of the lawnmower off. As they continue the chase down the city streets, the chainsaw is knocked loose and Y/n are able to knock the roof from the cart, but eventually, both vehicles are abandoned as they reach Slammers, the cart crashing into the box office. The translator and coffee bean pick themselves up and race for the VIP entrance, but are intercepted by Mordecai, Rigby and Y/n

Translator: (nervously) Eh, Mordecai, Rigby, Y/n. Funny seeing you here.

Mordecai: A chainsaw, are you serious?! I mean, what's up with the chainsaw?

Y/n: You're willing to kill us with a chainsaw over a damn tickets?! And why do you even need four of them?!

Giant Coffee Bean: (angrily) Coffee! Coffee coffee!

Translator: Why didn't you buy us tickets?

Mordecai: What are you talking about? We never said we'd buy you tickets!

Translator: But we had a contract.

Y/n: I knew that thing is going to bite us in the back.

Rigby: Shut it!

Rigby, leaning in, snatches the tickets from the Interpreter

Mordecai: You know, at first I thought you were cool, but now, I know that you're both total losers.

Rigby: Everybody hates you.

Y/n: Oh, and I just realized something.

Translator: What?

Y/n: Your coffee sucks.

Mordecai and Rigby: Ohhhhhhh!!!

The two dance as Y/n walk through the VIP door unimpeded as the coffee bean and translator are turned away by the bouncer. Mordecai, Rigby and Y/n are then shown walking down the stairs in the auditorium

Llama Guy: 'Sup, Mordecai?

Mordecai: Hey, dude.

Rigby sees the diamond-encrusted seats at the front and center of the room

Rigby: Dude, there they are!

Mordecai and Rigby run and jump onto their seats. Y/n just walk and slumped on the seat.

Rigby: We did it! Fist Pump! Fist Pump!

Mordecai: I wonder where Margaret's sittin'?

Mordecai kneels up on his seat and turns around, only to receive a sweaty Fist Pump t-shirt to the face

Mordecai: Aw, sick, it's all sweaty!

Muscle Man: Wooooo! I just threw my shirt!

Several rows back, Muscle Man is shown lifting a weight while balancing on two seats

Muscle Man: Bring out Fist Pump! Let's do it!

The scene pans to Margaret a few rows in front

Margaret: Hey, Mordecai!

Mordecai: Hey, Margaret! Fist Pump!

Margaret: Mordecai, you have to meet my boyfriend, Slasher!

Mordecai's face collapses and he stops fist pumping

Y/n: That's rough buddy

Margaret: Hey, Slasher, that's my friend Mordecai.

Slasher: You should tell your friend he should stop pumpin' it in the wind and start pumpin' it at the gym.

Margaret pulls her arm away from Slasher

Margaret: (angrily) Don't be such a jerk.

Slasher: (quietly, to Mordecai) You're dead.

Mordecai: (laughs nervously and sinks into his seat) Oh, this sucks.

Rigby: (slurring) Aw, don't worry about her, you'll get another chance.

Rigby, Mordecai and Y/n look amazed as the crowd cheers. A truck with a flaming skull on the front appears at the side of the stage, the trucker blowing its horn

Rigby: Hahaha, woo!

Rigby turns to Mordecai only to see him snoring in his seat

Rigby: Dude, wake up! They're about to come out!

Rigby's eyes narrow

Rigby: Wait... must... stay awake. Must... see best band of all... time! Hngh! (resigned) Aw, crap.

Rigby falls asleep immediately and snores

Fist Pump singer: 'Ello! We are Fist Pump! One, two, three, four!

Fist Pump begins playing, and Y/n shake his head at his friends who passed out

???: Y/n!

Y/n look and sees the person who he was waiting for...his childhood friend...

Y/n: CJ!

The screen cuts to black

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