Mohini

Anjali's time off from work for marriage had started a couple days ago. Us, mother and daughter were having a good time over shopping. I loved spending time with my little girl and I was feeling a little sad as well that she was going away from me. At the same time, I just hoped and prayed that she receives all happiness in this marriage. So many emotions ! I suppose the emotional rollercoaster that starts when you carry the baby in the womb never really stops. After an exhaustive day of shopping for dresses that my Anjali would take with her, I returned to the bedroom with a glass of hot milk for me and my husband. I had also given a glass to Anjali.

My husband who was lounging on the bed with a Hindi murder mystery novel closed the book upon seeing me.

"You seem very tired?" He was now putting his reading glasses away.

"Ofcourse, It's not easy these days Ji, wedding shopping was good and very simple in our times. Now a days, there are soo many choices and I want the best for my Anjali." I handed the glass of milk to him. He laughed. He had been extremely worried since the day Shiv's Dadi had put forward the 'rishta' for Anjali. He was not only worried for Anjali and her future but the expense for the Anjali's second wedding. Therefore, when Shiv's father said that he was willing to split expenses, my husband had eased up a lot. Anjali had said she wanted a simple marriage but even a simple marriage in the 21st century costed a fortune for retired families like us.

My tensed husband had slowly started to ease away as well. I began to sip the hot milk hoping it would now take away my tiredness.

"Mohini. I know something happened at shopping the other day as I saw Anjali upset. Whatever it was, I am sure you know and I trust Anjali's mother with her daughter. I hope you have handled it well." I had only known bits of what Pooja had told me later on the phone and Pooja also said that she didn't want to break Anjali's trust.

I knew the ordeal my daughter had gone through at that na-mard's home. It was something I wished nobody's daughter/sister or any woman had to go through. I was her mother and it didn't take me time to put two and two together to understand why Anjali had been upset at shopping, her past must have come back to her as she was mentally preparing herself for the wedding.

"Ji, I have handled it. You don't worry." I had to respond to my husband. He had developed high BP issue ever since Anjali's failed marriage. I was the one who sat down with him and made him understand our daughter's sufferings at the hands of Manish because of his hidden orientation and that our daughter needed separation. Shekhar had to be taken to hospital a few hours later. At that time, I only wondered how he would react if he ever came to know that our daughter had not only suffered humiliation in public but in the bedroom too. However, I was sure, he had subtly understood a lot of unsaid things.

It was hard, very very hard as parents to learn that our only precious daughter had been pushed towards a path of insanity by someone whom we trusted with her life.

"Mohini, I want to talk to Anjali and tell her that she will always have our back no matter what. This is her home and she can always come back here." I nodded at him.

"And I know that" Anjali was standing by the door with her arms crossed on her chest and tears in her eyes.

"Anjali, meri beti. Did you need anything?" I put my glass aside and went up to her.

meri beti = my daughter

"No Ma, I am sorry I heard the last part. I was coming to just sit with you two for sometime." I put my arms around my daughter.

"Thank you both. You both are the best parents for me. I would have melted away if not for your support. " She mumbled.

"No beta, come sit here." My husband pointed to the opposite side of the bed.

And so we just re-iterated that our daughter could come to us whenever she wanted to. She was such a good daughter and such a good girl all her life that we just wanted to see the day where she was happy and settled in her own little family. She was sitting close to me even as my husband ran his hand over her head in a loving manner.

Her phone started ringing and I could see the caller's name as Shiv. Our Anjali's face lit up and she smiled like a shy girl. Then, I saw her composing herself and looking at me, "We have to go ring shopping tomorrow so that's why he is calling." She was telling me with a such an adorable expression on her face that I turned to look my husband who smiled knowingly.

"Go beta, talk to him." I ran my hand over her cheek and she instantly lowered her gaze and almost ran out of her room.

"Ji, ye mithi se muskaan kitni achi lagti hai na. Shiv speaks to her and then she feels nice. The other day also Shiv spoke to her and has soothed her." My own heart fluttered at Anjali's happiness.

This sweet smile on her looks so good

"Hmmm. I only pray that the wedding is solemnized without any hassles now."

******************

Shiv

The days leading up to my marriage with Shikha were filled with hugs, kisses and a lot of teasing and build up for the wedding night. We had both been inexperienced but were looking forward to strengthen our bond even more after the rituals.

A very contrasting situation was right before me with my second marriage. Anjali and I had chosen engagement rings for ourselves and now we were sitting in a restaurant for dinner. We were just getting comfortable talking to each other. We had not even held hands yet. At the same time, I was very content with my decision of marrying Anjali and more than that, I was happy actively participating in the wedding preparations with her and the rest of the family.

This, was my first official 'date' with her after our marriage had been fixed and I could see she was wearing light makeup and a dress that was still very simple but darker in color. She had chosen a dark maroon shade that matched and matched it up with the same shade 'bindi' on her forehead. I complimented her the moment I saw her this evening. Even though she was getting comfortable talking to me, I noticed the 'always alert' vibe from her and I wanted her to feel completely at liberty with me but maybe I had the right to tell her only after vocally after our marriage. I had complimented her though. Her beauty was her simplicity and her innocence.

She was drinking her soup and I was still contemplating in my head if I should tell her that that I had been thinking of informing Shikha about my upcoming marriage. I wanted Shikha to know from me than anyone else but at the same time, I didn't want to upset Anjali. I had decided to completely commit to her and speaking to Shikha behind her back would not be good. Talking to Anjali to seek her permission, didn't sound a like good idea either. I didn't want her think I was still hung up on Shikha. I wasn't, but given the amount of time we had spent together as a couple, I felt like she deserved to know from me. Anjali spoke up which brought me back to reality.

"Kya soch rahe hain, aap? Kuch hua hai kya? Ya phir khaana acha nahi lag raha hai?"

What are you thinking? Did something happen? Or you don't like the food?

"Sorry, sorry Anjali. Nothing like that. I just spaced out on you. I was thinking about what next is left to do. What are your side of pending things to do?"

"Ji, dress fittings and some gift shopping is still remaining."

"Anjali, you will tell me if the budget is over shooting, right? Uncle doesn't have to get everyone expensive gifts. He is getting me my wedding sherwani and then he said Harshit and my Papa will also get a sherwani for the wedding. Honestly, that is already too much for us."

sherwani = a traditional men's wear. In this case, it will be worn on the occasion  of Shiv's marriage.

"Shiv, Thank you so much for saying this and even for offering to manage expenses. I can't tell you how happy and relieved my family is because of Uncle's gesture. My parents will do what they can, Shiv. I have one small favor to ask from you."

"What is it?"

"When you all go for the sherwani shopping, can you please see to it that Papa also buys himself a new sherwani ? He will try to push it to last minute and end up not buying one but he won't say 'no' to you."

"Don't worry. Papa will take care of it. I will see to it that both fathers get a sherwani each." I nodded to her and exactly understood her plight. She was indeed her fathers daughter.

"Thank you, Shiv. "

"We need to set criterion for 'thank you' and 'sorry'. Too much of that is happening these days between us."

We both chuckled and shifted towards speaking about stay arrangements that both our families had made for the wedding guests. The guests were mostly to arrive one day before wedding and leave one day after wedding apart from my sister and Jai Jeeja. They were going to stay with us and Shivani was going to arrive a week in advance to close out on the shopping that we had to do as part of groom's side for the bride which included dresses, jewelry and other gifts. I thought of holding back informing Shikha until I spoke to Jai Jeeja. It was a delicate topic after all.

"Anjali, can I take you out to this famous chai joint? I will drop you home and now I can because I am your fiancé." I asked her after we were done with dinner. "The only catch is the place is an hour's drive away. But I will respect if you want to go home early. I just ummm, we won't be able to meet after this until the wedding rituals are completed so I just think we should spend some more time together." I wasn't getting second thoughts ,no, but I just wanted to know her a little more before the big day.

She blushed a little and nodded. I settled the restaurant bill and led us to my parked car. I had picked her up in it and then driven to the jewelry store and then we had come to this restaurant. She got in the passenger seat while I settled in on the driving seat. I had to back up the car a little so I put my hand on the headrest of passenger seat and turned around to look from between the seats when I saw her staring at me blankly. I wasn't aware of our proximity until this time. Our gazes briefly locked and then my gaze travelled to her lips and my brain quickly recreated the scene I had once dreamt of. Nude lips as she was wearing a nude gloss that were slightly parted were all I could see until the her phone buzzed with the loudest ring.

I straightened up immediately, and she pulled out her phone from her purse. "It's Ma. I will tell her I will be late." She said weakly and I nodded and pulled out of the parking and started driving.

She put down the phone after talking to aunty and then blushed again. "Did Aunty tease you?"

She nodded in a yes and blushed more. I nodded sheepishly too. It was a silent car ride for quite some time.

"Your passport is currently valid for next six months, right?" I asked her to break the silence. There was still honeymoon planning left to do.

She nodded in a yes. "Jai Jeeja and Shivani are planning a honeymoon for us. It will be their wedding gift."

And so we chatted for a long time. The long drive was perfect to break off for chai at the famous joint by the marine drive.

***********

Mehendi Day

Anjali

The days had quickly progressed and today was mehendi day. I'd be getting married to Shiv tomorrow. Our first and last date before marriage was everything that I had imagined it to be. He'd said I looked beautiful, he had held the car door for me. He had looked at me with desire in his eyes and may be would have even kissed me. We had looked out at the stars as the chai joint was an open seating space. More than that, I was comfortable with him.

I had spoken to Dr. Khanna on the phone a few days back, I was in no mood to go to her for a in person session as they were always. She had given me a couple of tips and was of the strong opinion that I didn't need to continue therapy. However, if I had trouble with any physical proximity even after her tips then I should contact her again.

For now, the mehendi artist had arrived and my parents were feeling extremely low. The reason was my eldest Chacha had come for the wedding along with his two sons. All the three women in their houses had ditched the wedding, well the older daughter in law didn't want to come for fear of my Chachi while the younger one had been pregnant. My father's sister, my Bua didn't come and their children didn't come either. From my mothers side, my oldest aunt, my mothers sister was now a widow, had made it. Her children, a son and a daughter along with their respective families had come too. My uncle from my mother 's side, my mother's brother, my Mamu didn't come.

All in all, I had one uncle, one aunt, three cousin brothers and one cousin sister along with two little nieces and one little nephew who had made it from out of town to my wedding. That was a lot to me. My parents were however upset that their siblings had not come out of spite. They didn't think a daughter like me was worthy of a second marriage and that I had mostly lied about my first marriage.

I had tried uplifting my parents mood but Arya and Arjun, Pooja's children were actually able to cheer them up finally as Pooja turned up with both her cuties and Arjun looking like her little handsome prince. Pooja wore a blue floor length evening gown while Arjun wore blue kurta with a broach pinned on it and paired with cream colored pyjama. Arya was dressed just like me, she wanted to twin with me and I had agreed as I loved her more than my biological niece. She bought floral jewelry with her for me to wear. My cousin sister along with my neices smiled and cheered as I wore the floral jewelry consisting of a necklace, earrings and forehead 'maang tika'.

My father said that he along with all the men would mostly stay in Pooja's parents house while us ladies had this house to sing and dance all the way into the night. Next we saw Shiv's sister and her daughter standing by the entrance. Shiv's Dadi had said only Riya and Shivani would come to the mehendi and dab the 'shagun mehendi' on my hands to represent all of grooms side. Mehendi was supposed to be an event of only brides side but grooms side women were invited to get henna done while all the ladies were getting it at brides side.

I had already started getting mehendi designed on my hands and feet. Per the tradition, my mother had also requested to have Shiv's name on my palms weaved in between the designs so that he had a harder time finding it. The tradition or I think make-do tradition was the groom had to search for his name on brides palm after the wedding and the bride was supposed to give him a gift for being successful. My artist was really quite talented as she managed to write my name within the Shiv's using the devnagari script for writing hindi.

*The top writing is what the bottom writing looks like in devnagri

The ladies including my mothers friends, Pooja's mother, my aunt were already singing with the kids dancing to the tunes. Pooja sat beside me as I got the henna done. My mother was passing around sweets with her eyes slightly damp. That evening I had to tell her several times to go and get dressed as she had to look like bride's mother and she had finally broken down sobbing.

Shivani joined me and Pooja after a round of singing and dancing and spoke to Pooja.

"The men are having drinks and surrounding Shiv like he is a piece of fresh meat at the moment. But, he still managed to send a message to his beautiful bride." Her eyes twinkled in mischief while Pooja oohed like a crazy woman. I blushed and lowered by gaze.

"What is it? Can I hear?" Pooja was in an all teasing mode today.

"He said and I quote 'You will rock the mehendi look. Send some pictures, please.' " Both the ladies and the mehendi artist giggled while I wanted to hide myself in my mehendi covered hands.

Everytime I spoke with Shiv, I couldn't muster the courage to bring up the wedding night to him. I didn't know what he was thinking. I suddenly felt like my heart dropped to my stomach. Tomorrow was my wedding night, the second time. The nerves of wedding day started getting to me and it must have shown on my face because Pooja asked one of the children to get me water while she mumbled, "Take deep breaths, it's ok." Thankfully, Shivani couldn't hear her slow mumbling in my ears because of the loud music and chitter chatter.

"Are you feeling ok?" Pooja asked me when Shivani excused herself to check on her daughter who didn't seem to be in the living room.

"Yes, I am just very scared right now."

"Relax ok. It's normal to feel excited and nervous at the same time. You will get through this. We are all with you." I nodded breathing a sigh of relief.

***********

Shiv

Jai Jeeja, Harshit and my father's sister's son were all drinking and celebrating my last night as 'bachelor'. I was obviously trying to reduce weight which meant I was not drinking as alcohol was nothing but empty calories. My father had been sitting with us along with some of his friends from his 'young old social group'. Earlier in the day, Jai Jeeja had suggested that I completely hold off on talking to Shikha until I was married. I should then rethink about it if necessary.

My father suddenly turned towards me and put his hand on my shoulder. "I didn't have to tell you anything last time, Shiv. This time, I am only going to tell you one thing. Live up to yourself, beta. You have got this. She will need you, beta and you might fee like you are investing a lot in this relationship than she is but remember that's how a marriage is. Sometimes it will be you providing more and sometimes it will be her." I nodded at my father. I was feeling the jitters of marriage already.

He then continued, "I am not going to tell you when you need to understand her no. I assume you know that very well, my son." I nodded, this was something he had told me last time as well. A no was a no and that was the end of it. I knew that.

Jai Jeeja who was sitting on my other side called out, "Don't worry uncle. Our boy is very samajhdar and mature." He patted my shoulder while my dad got up to leave saying it was time for him to leave the party meant for youngsters. We had been sitting in our little balcony surrounding a round table. More time went by as the guys kept drinking and then there was a time when it was just me and Jai Jeeja towards my left and Harshit on my right. They were clearly not in sober state but not too drunk either.

*samajhdar  = understanding

"And, my brother. All set for tomorrow night, right?" My Jeeja asked me. I nodded in a yes. "Carrying enough protection or do you want us to buy some assorted flavors?" Harshit broke into a fit of giggles and then next minute he woke up to go inside after saying, "I am not supposed to be here".

"Come on bro, all ok down there, right? Forgot the technique, is it? Need tips?" He nearly roared with laughter this time. I nodded and responded sheepishly, "Oh come on Jeeja, nothing like that."

"What is it? You look all tensed up bro. What's going on, saale sahab?"

*saale sahab =  brother in law

"I am just. I have always been with Shikha and I feel a little odd to be with her that way you know."

"Hey you told me, you and her had some sparks already."

"We did but I guess it's just coming to me that ..."

"That..what...that you need to understand her and build a relationship with a woman who is not Shikha? You will learn about her and gradually be with her. Dude, you got to man up and talk to her about this. Both of you are mature adults, you should talk about this with her. She's going to be your wife after the rituals tomorrow. And don't forget, she must already be thinking about tomorrow night too. Set the expectations right there, bro. The build up of desires are going to show up eventually and it is only good to talk to the one person with whom you should be talking to. Also, don't delay it. Not after what she has gone through. "

"Hmmm."

"Hmmm ke bache. Go and get your sister and niece now and don't tell Dadi that I asked you to go because me and Harshit are both not in a state to drive. Dadi had strictly warned to not let you two meet now before the wedding. But I think you should seize the moment. Go tell her what she needs to hear from her would be husband the evening before her wedding."

And so I set out to meet Anjali.

****************

I reached Anjali's apartment and the door was already ajar and I could still hear music and loud voices. I saw some people eating whom I thought were Anjali's relatives. Amongst the little gathering, my niece Riya ran up to me.

"Mamu, you are here. Look, such pretty designs on my hand. Let me call Mumma." And she ran right back in and by that time I was greeting Anjali's dad who was introducing me to everyone.

"Bhai, where are Jai and Harshit? You weren't supposed to be here." Shivani questioned me and I saw her hands were already covered in mehendi.

I leaned closer to tell her that they both couldn't drive as they had little too much to drink and I was the only sober person in the house.

I glanced behind her for any sign of Anjali when my sister eyed me pointedly. "Shiv, no. You two can't meet. It's not considered a good omen."

"Please, I need to talk to her. Just give me a moment with her." I pleaded at her

She sighed and nodded. She then asked me to stand right where I was while she went back to make 'arrangements' as she air quoted to me.

Riya came back with Arya and took me inside where I saw her. She was sitting with her hands and feet covered in mehendi and she glanced at me and then at her hands. She looked absolutely gorgeous in the floral jewelry and the simple orange dress. I noticed Arya and Anjali was twinning. I nervously sat opposite to her when my sister said, "Make it fast. There's too much crowd to handle."

"Arya, beta get water for uncle, please." Anjali called out to Arya who was still hanging around.

I realized that she was trying to send the girl outside to give us privacy.

"Did you write my name?" I smiled at her and she nodded.

"Hmmm. So, I will get a gift when I find it, right? It's visible in these intricate designs, right?" I asked. She nodded and smiled this time.

"Waqt lagega aapko. But, it's there and I found a gift for you too." She giggled and I swear my heart smiled.

It'll take you time.

"Good." I looked around and there were definitely a lot of noises but I bent down to pretending to fix my sock that was apparently sliding down. I had to take off shoes by the entrance as everyone had done it too.

Bending down, I was closer to her and so I looked at her and said, "Don't worry about tomorrow night. We will talk after the rituals are completed and when we have privacy. We don't have to rush. I want my bride all relaxed and healthy after the rituals. Ok?"

She nodded at me and mouthed a thank you. "Will you be fasting tomorrow?" She asked me this time.

"Yes, as per the tradition. So, don't take too much to get ready tomorrow. Remember, your husband is hungry and fasting and so will you be. " She chuckled. "Uncle and Aunty shouldn't fast if they can't. Health is important."

Per our traditions, her parents who were doing the 'kanya-daan', the bride and groom were all supposed to fast until the wedding is solemnized.

I didn't have a lot of private time after this as everyone had joined in and were teasing us continuously. We took leave from Anjali's parents and relatives. I was getting married within a day now.

****************

Slightly unedited, what do you think?

I am confused if I should be posting the wedding ceremony in detail or just skip right to bidaai. Lol. Or make it few sentences. I am thinking the latter - few sentences.

Thoughts ?

Do vote and share!