Shiv

I smacked my palm over my forehead. So much for promising to not saying anything about marriage Dadi, I groaned internally.I glared at Shivani who seemed to have also become uncomfortable too from the sudden statement from Dadi as she put down her snack plate on the coffee table infront of her. I then glanced at Anjali and our gazes met for a split second before she glanced away to look at her parents and then lowered her gaze down to her lap. 

Uncle and Aunty both looked at each other and then at their daughter. Before they could say anything , Dadi continued "I know this is sudden Shekhar ji and Mohini ji. Infact, these kids did not want me to talk at all today but I can't control myself. Your daughter will brighten up any house that she goes to and that is only if you are thinking and she is thinking along these lines too. You already know that my grandson Shiv recently got a divorce and we don't think Shiv should remain alone all his life. Galti to kisi ki bhi nahi thi lekin kismat ko shayad ye manzur nahi tha"

It was nobody's fault but their destinies didn't like it seems. 

"Ma ji, I don't know what to say. I have only one child and all I have ever wanted is to see her settled in her life with a loving and caring family. Unfortunately, my daughter has seen too much in a very little time. I am sure you want to know about it but I don't know how to respond to you now. Give us time to discuss among ourselves."

"I understand and we will respect whatever decision you make. Her past will not bother me now that I have spoken to her. Life is not always fair and I have seen that. I do want to suggest something."

"Of course Ma ji,  please tell us, what can we do for you."

"If all of you are ok and permit Anjali, I want Shiv and Anjali to meet and talk to each other few times." Turning to face Anjali, she continued, "Anjali beta, think about it. You don't have to immediately say yes or no to the meeting. Regardless of whatever you end up deciding, you will come and meet me whenever I am in this city, ok?

She didn't respond. My heart broke for her as my family had suddenly brought this upon her. On the other hand, I was stumped by Dadi's request, she had handled the 'rishta talks' very well, what she said about allowing us to meet was certainly a modern move. Arranged marriage didn't seem very bad right now if both the parties involved in it approached the concept practically. 

Dadi continued looking at her. "Beta, listen - I have seen life and I will tell you that when life is giving you another chance, just grab it. From my perspective, you both will make a very happy life with each other. Shiv is my grandson and I won't praise him as I cannot stop praising him then. Meet with Shiv, talk to him and make a wise choice my bache. " 

"Ma ji, we will discuss among us and let you know. My daughter is very innocent and probably at loss right now."

"That's not a problem. It's just another sign of her good upbringing and good values instilled in her. " Dadi then turned to face me and slowly rose from the sofa taking support of the arm rest. 

"Let's go Shiv beta, Shivani call Riya beti. Shekhar ji, do visit us and see things for yourself. Betiyan hamare ghar me bhi hai aur unki chinta rehti hai. Aap aayein, ache se jaanch padtaal bhi karayein, zaruri hota hai ki hum betiyon ki liye ye sab karein." Dadi said while uncle and aunty nodded with a smile. I was glad my Dadi was just the sweetest being here right now. 

Even we have daughters and we worry for the. Do come and see things for yourself, also get good information about everything. Its important we do all of this for our daughters.

"Uncle! Aunty! may I say something ?" I wanted to voice my concern.

"Sure beta, What is it ?" Uncle gently patted my back. He was a balding man couple of inches shorter than me.

I cleared my throat and began to speak "We both recently got divorced - barely 2 months ago. This is sudden for me too so I can completely understand Anjali's state of mind as I am standing in the same boat. I also don't know yet what to make out of this. Please, it is my request, don't put pressure on us, don't put pressure on her. If she doesn't want this, we will all need to accept it."   

"Shiv beta, may God bless you in abundance. Anjali is our daughter and we will support her in every step." Uncle responded and I could see Aunty tearing up next to him. I understood how difficult all of this was them. 

I let out a sigh and looked at Anjali, she was still sitting in the same position, her gaze still on her lap. Shivani then hugged a sitting  Anjali while saying "We didn't come here to upset you Anjali. We apologize if we have upset you." 

Anjali nodded in a no and uttered something that I couldn't even hear. 

Anjali's mother responded "Beta, it's ok. Please call Riya. I want to give her something."

"No aunty, you all have already done so much. I will get Riya and then we will get going. Come Riya beta." She called out to my niece who was enjoying watching the outside from the balcony." 

Riya came back running and joined our group who was ready to leave. Aunty placed an envelope in Riya's hand and forced us take it saying it was for only for her and that young girls were always given something in their khandaan as blessing. 

"Take very good care of yourself and get well soon Anjali." Dadi was now standing while still caressing her head. Anjali got up and then touched Dadi's feet to be blessed by Dadi again "Jeete raho beta. Bhagwan tumhari har ichha puri kare."

May you live long. May God fulfil your every wish.

***************************

The only person talking on the way home was Riya. She was telling our Dadi and her great grandmother (she just called her badi dadi) about the exciting new things she could see from Anjali's balcony and how she loved the chocolate milk that Anjali's mother had made her.  

Reaching home, I went for a long shower as I was tired from the days events at both workplace and then at Anjali's home. I changed into my night shirt and lounger pants and walked to the dining area. Dadi and Shivani already seemed to have filled up Papa and Harshit on our 'rishta talks' with Anjali's parents. On the way back home, we had decided to order dinner outside as we all were almost full from the evening snacks but Papa and Harshit were going to be hungry and nobody was in a mood to cook after such serious discussions along with all the travel time spent on the road. 

As soon as I took a seat beside Riya who was happily eating a slice of her favorite cheese pizza, she turned to me and said something that stunned us all. 

"Mamu, what happens to Shikha Mami when you marry Anjali aunty? Divorce is hard, isn't it? Do you think she will be fine?"

I had absolutely no words to respond to her series of questions. After all, what do you tell a 10 year old about divorce. I looked at Shivani who was equally stunned. They always took precautions to not when Riya was around but I am sure she must have overheard bits and pieces and put two and two together. Thankfully, Harshit came to our rescue as he and Shivani led Riya away under to pretext of playing video games so that we could talk. 

Papa was sitting on the other side of me and looked at me and said, "I am very proud of you beta. You are doing the right thing by agreeing to see matches. I am even more proud of you for saying things that you said to the girls parents. I really hope you said all of it after meaning it deeply." 

I nodded my head and replied "I mean it Papa. I just don't know what to make out of all this. It's sudden. "

Dadi responded "Sometimes, good things do happen all of a sudden beta."

Papa nodded adding in, "I will just tell you one thing that you must fully understand. Anjali is somebody's daughter and is their izzat. Meet her a few times and only continue if you are leaning towards a 'yes'. Kisi ki ghar ki beti ko baar baar milkar mana kar dena sahi nahi hai. Samaj rahe ho na tum? We are not pressurizing you but it is what it is.  "

izzat - respect* difficult to literally translate

Its not nice to meet someones daughter repeatedly and then reject her

"Yes Papa" I had married out of choice before so obviously I had not even seen matches before. I am sure Papa spoke out of his own experience as well the experience of being Shivani's father. I understood what he was telling me. 

"Are you both really ok not knowing the truth of her marriage?" I had to ask them since the question was bugging me. I wanted to know the truth but more than that I was curious why they didn't seem interested in knowing.

My father glanced at his mother and then responded looking at me, "Beta, Anjali will tell you everything. We just don't want to push anything on the parents yet. They don't trust us yet beta. They will tell us when Anjali is comfortable. Am I judging that right, Ma?"

"Yes, besides, call it my old age or my stupidity but I genuinely feel that Anjali was not in the wrong. As your dadi, I am just asking you to keep patience"

"Hmmm" I nodded my head. 

"Beeji, Photo nahi hai uski?" My dad asked with a smile

"Mann main chapi hui hai beta, mere mann me to shayad chavi itni saaf na ho, Shiv se puch lo, uske mann me ekdum saaf saaf hogi."

"Oh Dadi, stop it! On one hand you talk so maturely, on another hand you tease me, thats not fair." I faked anger. 

Lazily eating a little bit of dal rice, I said good night to everyone and made my way to Harshit's bedroom. Riya had already gone to bed with Shivani in my room and Harshit was in the room to watch a movie to which I asked him to watch the movie in living room. I felt so exhausted that I could sleep any moment now. 

Wonder what Anjali and her parents must be thinking. 

*************************

Mohini

Everything was still lying the the coffee table while I called out to Anjali who seemed to be unable to hear me while my husband went with the guests to see them off till their car.

"Anjali! Beta, are you ok?" I sat down beside her stroking her head repeatedly. She was in tears ever since the guests had left.

She suddenly rose up and sprinted to the common washroom adjacent to her room with me  trying to catch up with her. She threw up in the washroom sink and was silently crying. She was scared and anxious and her anxiety triggered nausea sometimes.

"Sssh, it's ok beta. Come, lets sit in your room" I patted her back as she cleaned up to soothe my child. 

I guess a mother can never explain how she feels when she sees her child crying and she is absolutely helpless about it. I was still digesting everything that Shiv's Dadi had said to us before leaving. 

I heard the keys jingle which meant Shekhar was back and I called him to Anjali's room who wouldn't stop crying. 

"Beta, bas shaant ho jao ab. Mohini, go and get some orange candy for her." Shekhar said gently patting her head. 

I grabbed the packet of orange candy that we always had in the refrigerator and went back to Anjali's room not before getting a glass of water too. Please Mata Rani, let this be her last examination of life before she has found a companion. Shiv seems like a good man. 

"Anjali, meri gudiya, whatever it is, we will talk tomorrow. Please rest now and don't think too much. " Shekhar was sitting beside her with his arm wrapped around and her head rested on his chest. 

"Drink water beta" She took a couple of sips and then put the candy in her mouth.

"Beta, they said we can take our tim.." I was cut off by my husband.

"We will talk tomorrow. Anjali beta needs rest now." My husband firmly told me off

"I will sleep Ma and Papa. I will talk to you both tomorrow. I am tired and my stomach hurts too." My daughter said. 

"Yes beta. I will stay with you for sometime and then head out when you drift off to sleep." I knew Anjali could very well manage but I just wanted to be there for her as her mother. 

"Ma, I am just tired and I will sleep."

"Let me just be here beta for my sake."

Shekhar left the room to give us privacy and some mother daughter time. My girl although initially hesitant leaned down to put her head in my lap and tried to sleep. I was chanting Mata Rani's name in my head and gently stroking her head to give us all strength to bear what came next. 

My Anjali looked so innocent, so calm and baby like as she drifted off to sleep. Sometimes, I found it hard to believe that she was so tiny that she fit in my arms and I carried her around everywhere in my arms. I heard a light knock and saw Shekhar walk in and he wrapped his arm around me and wiped tears flowing down my cheeks. 

"Come, she is fine." He led me to our room where I realized while Anjali and I hadn't eaten anything for dinner, Shekhar was also hungry. I saw a tray of cups of chai and cookies. Both me and Shekhar, actually all three of us could have tea any time of the day. He had made chai for me. 

Shekhar handed me a cup while he took the other and we began sipping our chai. 

"Kya khayal hai aapka?" I asked him. 

"They seem like very good people. More than that, they didn't ask Anjali anything on her previous marriage and said they didn't even want to know." 

"Hmmm, I like Shiv already. But, how are we going to convince Anjali into meeting him?" I panicked

"I know how. But, I also want to do some good research on Shiv as they suggested. I am thinking to call Pooja and Aniket home and task Aniket on this. Didn't Pooja beti tell you that Aniket and Shiv know each other from college days?"

And so we decided to call over Pooja and Aniket for lunch one afternoon on Aniket's off day so we can talk to her. Shekhar suggested giving Anjali sometime while we will also let Pooja talk to her. 

"Mohini, we don't know yet if Shiv will also yes so we need to be very careful about what we say to Anjali. Also, don't talk about this to anyone , not even your relatives yet. Ok?"

"Yes and I know you keep repeating this not because you don't trust me but you try to repeat it yourself as well." I laughed

"Knowing someone for 35 years has its advantages, right?" He chuckled too

"Yes." 

********************************

Shiv

Anjali was standing before me wearing the same green punjabi suit that she was wearing when I had brought her home. She was again drenched in rain. Her dress stuck to her body like another layer of skin while her hair were dripping wait. Her dupatta was placed across her chest and she appeared quite relaxed. 

I looked around to take in the familiar surroundings. It was the same cafe where Anjali and I had first met. That day, we both had been waiting for the same people which we had gathered quite later on. I was waiting on Aniket while she waited on Aniket's wife and kids. In the end, we had ended up chatting about various topics from Mumbai weather, rains to politics too over a cup of chai. 

I walked over to her and gave her a wide smile. She responded in a small smile and then lowered her gaze. My hands instantly found their way on her waist while I leaned forward and my lips landed on hers. Expecting to smell in any form scent and her soft supple tongue, I deepened the kiss only to find taste of cotton and thread in my mouth. 

I fluttered my eyes open and found the pillow on my face tightly clutched in my hands. F*ck, f*ck f*ck, I was dreaming. Not only had I been dreaming about Anjali, I was kissing her or rather I had been kissing the pillow. There were noises coming  from the living room indicating Harshit was still watching a movie. Ok, so atleast it wasn't super late but more than that, if Harshit saw what I was up to, it would be so embarrassing. 

Oh my God, I need a cold shower. Jeez, am I so se*ually frustrated that I am kissing a girl in my dreams now? 

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Ok, I know this was slightly boring but I did want to share both their feelings. 

Do let me know your thoughts and comments. 

@MehweenGR - Want to hear from you especially on the last part :P 

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