I wasn't gonna update today bc I just got back from traveling (it was just a short visit) and had a headache the whole day.

But I took a pain killer and napped a bit before dinner, so I decided to just update anyway since it's a little subsided now lmao.

❅

Jaemin sat in silence the whole ride back home, as if he was truly a kid in trouble whether he knew what he did or not. The atmosphere in the car was suffocating for him.

Mark merely glances at him from the corner of his eye while driving, he pretends not to notice it and just stares out the window.

Once they arrived, Yuta was not home yet, probably still occupied with the other members in the headquarters.

"I'm tired so I'll head to bed first, see you tomorrow." Jaemin announces, faking a loud yawn as he briefly covers his mouth with his hand.

Mark nods curtly watching him jog up the stairs to his room, shaking his thoughts away and heads to the basement.

❅

Jaemin stares at himself in the mirror, hair still wet, droplets of water slowly falling down to his bare skin.

He couldn't get enough sleep last night, as much as he wanted to. His thoughts were running in ungodly hours and it didn't help when Yuta arrived very late, Mark yelling about something.

He didn't mind them that much, honestly he doesn't know what is going on with Mark recently, then there's the usual changes of tension between him and Yuta.

Reasons for his lack of sleep is mainly because of the sudden headache he had gotten, trying to shut his eyes and fall asleep but to no avail.

His wrist was hurting a little while later too, as if it was burning for a moment.

He couldn't get to figure out the reasonings behind it, deciding to head downstairs and help Yuta with some cases. Occasionally talking about their day while Mark was sleeping.

Scowling at his reflection, showing how ridiculous he looks despite he had already took a shower and tried to make himself look more presentable.

He shuffles away from the bathroom, finishing on getting himself ready. Rushing down the stairs ignoring Yuta's look aimed at him as he basically inhales his breakfast.

"You need a ride?" Yuta asks, clearly concerned once he saw Jaemin's state. "I don't think you can drive safely to school today. Maybe you shouldn't go instead, I can help you with that."

Sometimes Jaemin wonders if Yuta is an actual mafia member or not. There are those moments where he switches from one to the other.

Then he occasionally wonders if Yuta is only being nice to him because they're "members" or they're actually friends.

Only because he heard Renjun yelling about that to Donghyuck in their earlier years as members.

"I'm only looking after you because we're partners in crime. If you die, it's my fault for not saving your ass."

"So you do care about me."

"I don't. Your blood will be on my hands either way. I don't want to lose my position just because of you doing something dumb."

He hears Renjun telling things like that to Donghyuck at times, the latter just teases him in return and didn't seem to be as serious as Renjun.

It's difficult for him, despite how long he was recruited in to the group, to really tell on which bond is real or not.

Which one is for the sake of their position in this group or is genuinely a friendship and even relationship, to which is sort of rare as most people like them say.

Jaemin convinces himself that they're all friends, real ones. They just have the normal conflicts that come and go, like Mark and Yuta's, Renjun and Donghyuck's.

But he is sure he's more close with the younger ones, especially Renjun and Donghyuck who are the ones who approaches him the most.

Looking up from think after drinking his glass of water, he shakes his head. "I'm fine, I'm not sick so it's not necessary for me to skip."

"You actually want to go there?" Yuta muses, "last time I checked, you were so against to everything about this. But recently, you've been very... Hmm, I can't think of the word right now."

"Soft," Mark's voice joins in the conversation, walking in the kitchen scratching his head. "Seemingly normal but at the same time weird."

Yuta shrugs his shoulders, unsure if that was what he was looking for. "Don't you guys want me to be close to Jeno? What's the point if I'm not there?"

"Well– yeah but..." Yuta scrunches his face, recalling everything Jaemin had complained about back then and comparing it to the current situation.

It's confusing, as if he's getting gaslighted or something.

"You know I changed my mind," Jaemin calls out for him, sending a reminder to when it all started of him being more cooperative and into the assignment.

"Right..." Yuta nods along with his own words, convincing himself.

"Anyways, I should go now. I have to pick up Jeno." Jaemin quickly excuses himself while rubbing his eye, a yawn escaping his lips.

❅

"Why didn't you just take the day off, hyung?"

Jaemin sighs at Jeno's question, tone full of worry as he stares up at him with doe eyes.

"It's not a job, Jen. I can't just skip school, even if Yu– my dads will send an excuse letter for me. I'm not sick, so it's fine." He answers lazily.

Framing his face, Jeno pouts. "It's not fine, hyung. You're basically dragging yourself around."

Jaemin chuckles in agreement, earning a glare from the blond haired boy. Pulling his face close to his, Jeno kisses his nose. "We're skipping."

"Sorry?"

"I know some areas we can hide in, and comfortable enough to get some sleep–"

"Jeno, we are not skipping. Especially you." Jaemin refuses the idea, no matter how much he wants to sleep right now, he can't have Jeno come along.

Hell, the boy could get in trouble and he'll be the reason for it. Plus, Yeeun could change her mind about him.

"I'm not skipping, I don't have class right now." Jeno smiles innocently, "and as far as I know, noona told me about your schedule today."

"You're crazy."

"You're even more crazy for coming to school like this." Jeno scoffs at him, tugging him by the wrist, he giggles as he pulls Jaemin along.

Subconsciously, Jaemin smiles at him. Moving his hand to grab Jeno's and gives him a light squeeze, catching up to his pace as they sneak around.

❅

Thoughts?? Probably none because idk what I wrote either or why I did that lmao.

Filler 🤡

(Just wanted to talk about Yuta and Mark's on and off bond, Mark sussing Jaemin weirdly, Jaemin's change of behavior recently and other unnecessary shit I guess)

Sorry for lack of Jeno perspectives, forgot to mention this book is mainly focusing on Jaemin's perspective... For reasons :p

BLAME THE HEADACHE FOR THE DUMB AND FILLER CHAPTER HAHJCJSJ FML