It's so easy to get wrapped up in yourself. We tell ourselves, each day that we're driven by a purpose for something, for a desire to fulfill a dream, to achieve our predetermined destiny...it's too bad that this inherently drives our selfishness...

The interesting paradox is that no one is truly selfish...it doesn't work like that... There are a few of the self-involved monsters that we avoid like the plague, but the reality of the selfishness that we typically encounter is far more subtle, hidden by the façade of addressing our obsession with ourselves by saying "I know it's selfish...followed by something self-involved...like saying no offense" and then proceeding to offend... We work to better ourselves, so we can be better for those around us-but few of us are good enough to be something for anyone else.

I'm not even sure what the point of this existential discussion is. I guess I am trying to ask myself, am I selfish?...probably...but why?

I continue to try and be better, to remember my mistakes and grow from them, but today, as I sit in this coffee shop and watch those around me live their lives, I am realizing, I am tired of fixing myself. 

I don't feel better or happier. 

I think I once was happy, at peace, maybe even content...

But I gave it all away...for you.