June 2nd, 2015

         "It's been almost a year.

         It has been decades since I have felt this comfortable with myself, and with my life. Just the other day, I realized that I didn't worry when Ophelia left for work. There was a few hours before I left, and I wasn't thinking about her not being home when I got back early in the morning; I just knew that she would be there, as she had every single night for the last year. As I got home, she was there, asleep. It's rare that she'd be asleep when I got home, and so when I saw her peaceful and serene like that, I knew that she felt the same.

       She feels safe, and that makes me feel accomplished. I've begun to do enough to make her sleep well, to not stress every single day and to not look over her shoulder every single time she leaves the house. I always imagined that she would be safest by my side, but now I can actually begin to believe that. I think I have come a long way, and for one of the first times ever I can say that I am proud of myself, and proud of what I have managed to keep together in my life. Looking back on it, my biggest accomplishment was and is keeping O safe. I failed at it, many times, but I cannot look back at my failures and consider myself one. I have to consider my failures as a learning curve, and that I have learned from them.

         Almost a year."