Written by: Maiti30

Reviewed by: jash_parikh

We will start your review in a specific order...

Cover: I get that it's a 1D fanfic, but something more creative and relevant to the story would be nice. Maybe something like an extra character or something like a motto or tagline that actually gives us an idea of your book rather than fandom. For this, you get 0.55/1.

Title: Once again, it's like you're banking on the fandom fame to get you reads. Since this is your first book I'll tell you this: There are thousands of 1D fanfics and some of them are great. What makes your book stand out? The title and cover should be convincing enough. Your book is new so maybe you could change it and be more creative with it. For this, you get 0.75/1.

Description: Error 404 description not found...Sorry but that's true. What is Haiti? Who are the two couples? See, you gotta be short but to the point to pull readers towards your work. I don't get any clue about why I should read your story. You can easily write 2 couples and Haiti and all that since you know the details in your mind. But think as an outsider just looking for books to read. The description you provide simply doesn't seem to be enough. Does it seem enough to you? Also, Indian or not people love plot twists. You don't have to apologize for that. Coming to the grammar and punctuation, there were only some minor errors in grammar but things like writing "i" instead of "I" and no space after commas and some words and everything make the work look poor and done out of ignorance. That may not be the case, but people will judge you first before tapping that read button and you need to give them positive things to judge. Even in the description, it looks like you have relied on the fandom popularity. Build a universe of your own instead. Remember, write only those things that you as a blank reader who doesn't know the plot would like to read. For this, you get 0.05/1.

Beginning: See your grammar is not bad, I would like you to improve on punctuations and the use of capital "I". Using small "i" when written alone is text messaging language not formal grammatically correct language you see in books. Your style of writing looks kinda childish. Use quotes instead of semicolon followed by dialogue. That's again text messaging and not book language. The grammar in the first chapter was also off at some places, you might wanna consider getting it edited by someone who knows English well and has a good command over the language. Also in your very first line, you made a blunder. Instead of "Congratulations 1D" it should be "Congratulations Aditi" No? Why because that's the name of their batch? So who will say that? Who is this Aditi who are her friends what does she think of them what is the setting of the book what kind of characters are your protagonists and most importantly, how do they look, walk and talk? These details are very important. Writing a story does not mean just adding events one after the other. You have to set up each event with a filler and some details. Like when I read the book I should be able to visualize the whole thing like a movie. Otherwise, it's just an abrupt start and sudden events. The grammar needs massive improvement too.

Coming to the plot, I like the mystery of how she broke up and how she knows Perrie and everything you set up. Then one by one each chapter gets more interesting and plot-wise you have nothing to worry about. If you improve your style of writing and some things I discussed above your book will rock. I really like the plot by the way. For this, you get 1.05/2.

Your total score is: 2.4/5.

THIS BOOK HAS BEEN JUDGED MODERATELY, NEITHER TOO HARSHLY NOR TOO LENIENTLY. FOR ANY QUESTIONS OR QUERIES FEEL FREE TO PM ME.