I’ve always disliked Monique, hated her even, at times. She was the female bully of our school, always hasty to pick on the unattractive and weak. I wasn’t one of her normal, everyday victims but that doesn’t mean she never picked on me. 

But I certainly never wanted her dead. 

And when you spend four days alone with someone, stranded without food and water, where you can practically breathe in death, it changes you. 

Monique and I had a strange bond. 

We picked on each other, bickered, constantly clashed together like two brandished swords. But we still respected each other when it came to a life or death situation. She even helped me with my ankle. We were still there and prepared to defend each other. 

We still fought for each other. 

I already miss her. I miss arguing with her. I miss going head to head, snarling like cats, and exercising my witty responses. 

I miss Sebastian, too. 

Now, he’s like a broken toy. He doesn’t talk. He moves when needed to and breathes. I’m really worried about him, and it is obvious Jasper is too. But whenever I ask him about it, Jasper just says to leave him alone. 

We haven’t seen a zombie since Monique’s death and it’s been two days. Secretly, I think it’s because they know that Sebastian will go on a murderous warpath if he sees another one of them. 

Jasper sighs and squeezes my thighs softly. 

I shake my head and he carefully bends down so I can climb off his shoulders. The trees are way too thin around us, so I can’t climb and see where exactly we are. And since Jasper is so tall, I was hoping it would make up for my lack of height. 

But unfortunately, our efforts are futile. 

I take a few steps away from him and we both sigh softly, our eyes flickering towards Sebastian. He leans against a tree several feet away, eyes glued to the sky. I take a deep breath, determination coursing through my veins.

“I’m going to go talk to him.” 

Jasper’s mouth opens, but his protest dies on his lips after a sharp glare. He doesn’t utter a word as I slowly move forward, my hands held up in a cautious gesture. Sebastian doesn’t even look my way or make any sign that he’s aware of my approach. “Sebastian?” I hesitate. 

He exhales loudly. Carefully, I reach out and touch his shoulder. A shudder tears through his body, as if jump-starting him back to life. Blinking, he glances my way, red-rimmed eyes wide. “Scarlett?” 

“Sebastian? Are you alright?” 

A pretty stupid question, but it’s all I can come up with at the moment and he stares at me in response, eyes slowly easing out of their wide state. I purse my lips and decide to rip the band-aid off, “You loved her, didn’t you?” 

Sebastian becomes as solid as a rock. He seems to visibly pale, eyes shifting down to stare at the ground. Then they flutter shut. And he takes a deep, unsteady breath. 

“I joined the Vipers…because my parents were killed by the Blue Bloods, our biggest gang rival. I was a fourteen year old Hispanic kid with a seven year old brother and I knew I could take care of him. I figured if I joined the Vipers, they’d offer some sort of protection for him and that I could eventually get some sort of revenge for my parents. 

“I’d been best friends with Mo since we were in diapers. She was the one that I always fell back on and her parents took my brother in.” He slowly slides down against the tree and I sit down with him, frowning. “But Mo’s parents didn’t like me anymore because I was affiliated with a gang. They thought I was bad news and forbid Mo from talking to me. I didn’t care, because they still took care of my brother and he at least had a home.” 

He takes in a deep breath. “It wasn’t until I heard her yelling at one of Carlos’s new girl-toys that I realized I’d hurt her so much. It was my fault that I joined the Vipers and that she wasn’t allowed to talk to me. And I’d disappeared right when she’d needed me the most, when her Abeula -her granny died. They were closer than two peas in a pod.

“And when the girl went to swing at her, I jumped in.” Sebastian smiles bitterly. “That was when I realized. When I saw her in danger like that, I didn’t even pause to think. I just acted. And I’ve never done that before. But I couldn’t bear the thought of Mo getting hurt.” 

I shift a little uneasily. “Did you try to talk to her?” 

“Of course, right after Carlos was done chewing me out, I tracked her down and tried to talk to her. But she’s a daddy’s girl and she wouldn’t hear it. Honestly, I was surprised she talked to me here. I guess she realized that we’d all have to work together in order to get anything accomplished.” 

He holds up the locket, the little silver chain dangling from his fingers. “I got her this for her tenth birthday. I didn’t know she wore it…until…” He trails off, face twisting painfully. 

I touch his shoulder and squeeze softly. “She wore it every day. I’ve always wondered where she got it.” 

He shuts his eyes and I remove my hand from his shoulder, my fingers lacing together in my lap. I glance up as Jasper steps between the trees, a small pile of sticks in his arms, and Jasper’s eyebrows lift in a silent question. My eyes flicker towards Sebastian. 

Said male clasps the necklace around his neck and pushes to his feet. He turns and offers a hand to help me up and I take it. He pulls me up and we walk over to Jasper. 

My stomach rumbles weakly. I haven’t had food in three days, or a really good glass of water. It rained yesterday- an extremely rare feat -and we all swallowed as much as we could gather into our hands. If it weren’t for that, we probably would be dead by now… or zombie-food.

Sebastian shoves his hands in his pockets. “Where are those rocks?” 

“Right here, my man,” Jasper holds up his hands, brandishing the two striking rocks. He tosses them to Sebastian, who catches them with scary ease, and steps back away from the twigs. Jasper plops down on the ground and I step around Sebastian and his fire.

Jasper glances up as I approach. I sit down beside him and hug my knees to my chest. “I want to go home.” I whisper softly into my knees. 

Jasper lets out a soft sigh. “I know, Scar. We all do.” 

My eyes fall shut. 

Everything is rushing through me, all at once. I think it’s all really starting to get to me. The hunger, the achy dryness that starches my throat, the numbness from death and loss –it all tumbles around inside of me like clothes inside a washing machine. I want to go home, now. I want to wake up tomorrow morning in my bed, in my house. 

What did I do to deserve this hell? 

Actually, I take that back. I’m not sure I want to know the answer to that question –I’m not a saint. 

Sebastian gets a small fire going and slides the rocks back into his pockets. We sit there in silence, listening to the dead trees crick and creak and the shallow sounds of our breathing. It’s so eerie. 

“When’s the last time you slept?” The words jerk me from my thoughts. Blinking, I look up into the worried eyes of two boys and my brows pucker in confusion. “Huh?” 

“When is the last time you went to sleep?” Jasper repeats slowly, as if speaking to a five year old. 

I glare at him. “I don’t know. Why?” 

“Because I can’t remember when you last got some decent sleep.” He huffs in response, scowling. “You’re always up watching.” 

“Lies,” I stick my tongue out at him. “I’ve slept since we got here. The first night I like passed out and Sebastian stayed up instead of you. And like three nights ago I slept next to you! So you don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Accepting my answer, Sebastian sends us both an icy look, “Just shut up, both of you. Let’s all just get some sleep.” 

“But who’ll stay up?” I frown at them, “I’d really rather not be turned into zombie-food.” 

Jasper climbs hastily to his feet, shooting a nasty look my way, and announces, “I will.” I stare at him confusedly until the hairs on the back of my neck prickle with chills. Cautiously, I shift my gaze towards Sebastian, where the feeling of something watching me is emanating from, and find him glaring daggers my way. 

Confusion floods through me. What? Did I say something? 

I backtrack through my thoughts, flipping through my mental filing cabinet. I only said I didn’t want to be zombie-food…food, like Monique had been. 

Oh. 

I grimace. “Sorry.” 

Sebastian forces an eye roll and twists away. I stand and shuffle towards a solid looking tree. Carefully, I slide down against it and nestle into the rough bark as best as I can. I frown at my hands, mentally scolding myself. I really need to think before I talk. 

The wind nips at my skin. I shiver and hug myself, trying to rub some warmth and feeling back into my arms. Jasper glances over and I try to ignore him, eyes focusing on the flickering flames of the fire –locking on the sprawled out form of Sebastian. My gut clenches tightly with anxiety. For some reason, I just don’t trust lying out in the open like Sebastian, I have to have my back against something, something I know won’t cave. 

I feel safer with my back to a tree. 

Soft footsteps tear my attention away from the fire. Jasper tugs his arms through the dirt stained white button up and sighs softly. 

“I know it’s not much.” He whispers softly as he approaches. “But at least it’s something.” 

He holds the shirt out to me. I frown, eyes taking in the dark black tank top. “Aren’t you going to get cold?” 

“I’ll be fine.” His lips flicker up into an impish grin. “I’ll just snuggle up to you if I get cold.” 

I roll my eyes, biting back a strange grin that threatens to stretch across my lips, and take the shirt. I roll down the sleeves and put the shirt on backwards. It smells like Jasper, like spicy soap. Warmth floods my body, electrifying each cell with a tingly sensation, and my heart races faster in my chest. I clutch the shirt tighter and nestle back into the tree trunk. 

Sleep overwhelms me almost immediately. My eyes grow heavy and I start to fall. 

“Scar?” 

My eyes snap open. Sebastian stands in front of me. The moonlight shines behind him, illuminating him from behind with a gentle, almost angelic glow. My brows furrow and I frown up at him, “What’s wrong?” 

“Can I sit?” He shifts awkwardly on his feet. 

I scoot over slightly, peering around him towards the fire –or at least where it was. Instead of a bright, flickering flame roaring with heat, there is a small pile of ash and leftover twigs. Sebastian carefully sits down beside me, careful to maintain a good distance between us. His shoulders fall slack, head tilting back to rest against the tree truck. 

My gaze lands on Jasper, who lies several feet away. He is curled up on his side and his back faces me. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

I blink dazedly towards Sebastian, who continues to mumble apologies, and then poke his shoulder, “What’s bothering you?” 

He pauses mid-apology and stares at me with wide eyes. Then sighs softly and closes his eyes, “I didn’t…sleep…well.” 

“You had a nightmare?” 

His jaw clenches tightly, a flare of something stubborn sparking up. “It wasn’t a nightmare. I just didn’t sleep well.” 

“A nightmare, then,” I roll my eyes and shift around, moving Jasper’s shirt around so I can sit more comfortably. Our shoulders brush and I look up, preparing to apologize if I find him glaring. I do find Sebastian watching me silently; however his expression doesn’t express malice. 

His eyes are glassy with unshed tears, lips pressed into a tight, grim line. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, heart twisting. 

“I was eight when she died,” My voice is a soft whisper and I shift my gaze towards the moon, “My mom.” 

Sebastian is silent. 

I continue, “She worked overseas as an ambassador, before the war, and couldn’t get home in time. She got sick from the radiation and was taken to that stupid little holding-hospital.” 

The hospital –or what’s left of it- is located in the very outskirts of Crescent City, where all of the citizens poisoned by the radiation from the nuclear bombs. They were held captive in miniature versions of the dome; at least until the scientists could come up with a cure for the radiation and they could be released back into the city without harming its residents. 

Unfortunately, the scientists still haven’t found one. Almost everyone who’d been taken to the hospital has died already and their bodies were cast out –out beyond the dome to rot. 

“I used to visit her every day and talk with her. I had to talk into one of those old wall-phones and, to this day, I can still remember her smiling at me from behind the glass. I remember the warmth in her eyes and,” I take a deep breath, “And the love. Even though I was little, I could still read her like a book. She was the world to me –she still is.” 

“And I was devastated when we got the call. One of the hospital staff showed up at our door one day and I just remember my dad collapsing to his knees. Everything passed by in a blur –we had to go to the hospital every day and sort through some of the things they’d been able to drain the radiation from. And I remember that one question that always burned in the back of my mind: Why could they wash the radiation from her things, but not her? How could they not save her?” 

Sebastian closes his eyes, head dipping, “Radiation, once it infects the cells, is incredibly hard to get rid of because our cells regenerate constantly –unlike the cells of say a shirt or something…”

“I know that now,” I nod slightly, lips pressing into a grim line, “And what’s done is done. Nothing can change the past and I know that, I accept that.” 

I touch his shoulder, smiling slightly, “My dad used to tell me about the stars. About how each one represents a lost soul.” I gesture towards the sky, “Which one shines the brightest to you?” 

He hesitantly looks up, dark orbs scanning over the brightly illuminated night sky. It takes him a few moments before he lifts his hand, pointing to a small glistening light in the distance. His hand lowers and he tears his gaze away from it, shifting it towards me, confused. 

“That’s Monique then. That’s her spot in the sky, watching over you. She shines for you, Sebastian, and will always be up there when you need her.” 

Sebastian stares at the sky. Then he looks back to me, cold eyes strangely soft and warm. My eyes widen slightly, air hitching in my throat as the corners of his mouth twitches back into a small, breathtaking smile. 

He leans closer and I feel his lips brush against my forehead. 

“Thank you, Scar.”