Sarah has been making me sleepover at her house. Jacob has not been himself, but he has been nice to me and has been offering to drop me off at work. They have put me in Daniel's room, which I find a bit odd. I thought they would want to keep the room ready in the event they find Daniel and bring him home. All the same, I am glad to be in the company of others who know and understand my situation. I need to be around their spiritual presence. No one else seems to get it, but Daniel's family does.

I am sitting on Daniel's bed, looking at all the pictures of him and his family on the walls. They are the same pictures in the living room, and in the hallway, and on the fridge in the kitchen. Yet I still love looking at them. Daniel's smile shines in every picture. On one of his trophy shelves, next to his honors medal from high school, is a picture of him at graduation. The classic navy blue robe is not very flattering, but somehow it still looks good on him. Sarah and Jacob stand on either side of Daniel, throwing their arms up, holding their diplomas and letting their caps fly to the air. I laugh softly; I need a good reason to laugh right now.

"Hey," Jacob pokes his head in, his expression unreadable. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," I say, shaking my head.

"I wanted to ask you something," he says, speaking in a low voice as he joins me on the bed. "I mean, if it is too personal, you don't need to answer . . . How is Daniel's absence affecting you?"

I sigh and look at my hands. I close my eyes; the tears will come, for sure.

"Forget it," Jacob says quickly. "You don't have to tell me . . . I'm sorry."

"I need to talk about it," I whisper, clearing my throat as I look up at him. "I talked about it with Sarah, but a new set of ears would be nice."

Jacob nods and waits for me to go on.

"You know," I say, my vision blurring. "I may not be anything more than a friend with Daniel, but he means so much to me . . . The thought of him being . . . I don't know . . ."

"Do you love him?"

I blink as I try to see Jacob's expression. As solemn as he is, there is a bittersweet hint of pain, mixed with hope.

"As a brother in Christ?" I say, shrugging.

"Or something more?" Jacob asks, leaning forward as he rests his elbows on his knees. "Because there's nothing wrong with that. You're allowed to care about him more than just a friend, you know."

"I'm scared . . ." I trail off, hiding my face in my hands.

"You shouldn't be scared . . . Do you know what Daniel would say if he heard you say that you were scared?"

"Give your fears to God."

"Exactly."

I sigh and look away, my face in my hands.

"You know, Heather?" Jacob goes on; I feel his hand on my shoulder. "If there is one thing I have learned from watching my brother stick to himself this long, it is because he has been waiting for the one. I don't think he knows it yet, but for some reason I feel like he has been waiting for you."

My heart flutters in my chest at his words. I've never let myself think this way but . . . what if Jacob is right? Would God have allowed me and Daniel to get closer to each other this way? Has he meant for us to come together from the beginning?

"Is Heather in here?"

I look up and see Jacob's mother enter with a sad smile. In her hands, she carries a small, brown paper package.

"This came arrived here today," she says, coming towards me, package extended. "It's for you, dear. From Daniel."

I take the package from her and stare at the name in the address. Yes, it is addressed to Daniel's family home, but it has my name on it. I run my fingers along the edges, wondering what it can be.

"He must have sent it long before all of this," Jacob says, clearing his throat.

"He must have," his mother agrees and I look up at her. "Jacob and I will leave you alone now."

"You don't have to," I say softly, shaking my head slowly.

"I insist."

With that, both Jacob and his mother leave the room, closing the door gently behind them. I look down at the package in my hands as fresh tears fill my eyes. I weigh it in my hands, shaking it gently to see if it is a flat box. It feels like a book. How did Daniel get me a book?

I start to tear off the brown paper and gasp when I see what is underneath. It is a navy-blue, leather bound journal. It is the very journal I had bought for Daniel, at his request. He had asked me to get him something where he could write his thoughts. He had said there were very few people he could fellowship with about God's word. He had also told me that he needed a place to write down his dreams. He was dreaming a lot and didn't want to forget anything. But why did he send it to me? Hesitantly, I open the front cover, and the first page, of the journal and see that Daniel has inscribed it to me.

To my closest and dearest friend, Heather. You are probably wondering why I have returned this journal to you. Well, the explanation is simple. I have filled this journal with several of my dreams and things that I have been wanting to tell you for so long, but couldn't because my letters would have been way too long. Please do not freak out if you happen to read something that does not make too much sense. Or it could make perfect sense and you do not know how to absorb it.

Heather, I want you to know that you are one most beautiful woman I have come to know and care for. I long to see you again and hope this journal brings you encouragement during my absence. Never forget that God has a purpose for all that He does, even when we do not understand it. It is when everything falls into place and that we have that 'AHA' moment. We will understand God's plans when we are ready to understand it. He reveals us His glory and power when He finds us ready.

With much love, Daniel.

I smile through the tears and clutch the journal to my chest. Of course, Daniel would want to share this with me. What a way to bring me comfort during this hard time.