Okay, I know I left the previous oneshot off on a cliffhanger, and it's only going to get rougher from there, so I decided that I would update this funny chapter to put everyone at ease before the worst happens. So, I give you; RevFalls Incorrect Quotes.

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Paz: Dipper and I are dating.

RevFalls Gang including Dipper: *gasps in shock*

Paz: Dipper, why are you shocked?

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Mabel: I relate to Belle because she loves to read books and loves people for who they are inside

Dipper: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies

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Genie: Are you sure you want your last wish to be punching Dipper and Mabel's father in the face for the third time?

Scarlett: *rolling up sleeves and reeling back* Abso-fuckin-lutely

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Mabel: I like a woman that's environmentally aware

Scarlett: *points* that's a cloud

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Dipper: we need code names for each other

Paz: Right

Dipper: great, how does 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' sound?

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Paz: Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Gideon: Mabel told me to satanise the house!

Paz: she said 'sanitise'

Gideon: ...

Gideon: Oh

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Dipper: And how do you think you're going to stop me?

Mabel: I'll tell Paz

Dipper:

Dipper: you sick bastard

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Mabel: We need a plan of attack!

Scarlett: I have a plan; attack.

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Scarlett: what's up?

Dipper: not my self esteem

Scarlett: that's a mood if I ever saw one

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Candy: I know we've always had this unspoken rivalry

Paz: it's not a rivalry, you're just always mean to me. And it's not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.

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Mabel: I have the sharpest memory! Name one time I forgot something.

Gideon: you left me in a Walmart parking lot like, three weeks ago

Mabel: I did that on purpose, try again.

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Dipper, drunk: Love is cheap. . .but this booze is cheaper.

Gideon, concerned and looking into the bottle: . . .this is just vinegar

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Scarlett, rolling down the car window: what seems to be the problem, officer?

Cop: get the fuck out of my car!

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Mabel: the real treasure was the memories we made along the way

Dipper: I almost died

Mabel: that was my fondest memory

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Dipper: 'are you decent?' Not morally, but I'm wearing pants, if that's what you're asking.

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Mabel: People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up a room

Paz: it's called arson and those people are witnesses

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Dipper: just read and article that said highly sarcastic people die younger, which is just fucking great.

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Dipper: any cute things to call your significant other?

Mabel: sugar

Paz: honey

Scarlett: flour

Gideon: egg

Scarlett: 1/2lb butter

Gideon: stir

Scarlett: pour into a pan

Gideon: preheat to 350 degrees

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Paz: beyond excited to announce that I'm giving up! I'm so grateful for this opportunity and can't wait to see where this decision takes me!

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Mabel: Enough about sex positions, has anyone discovered a reading position that doesn't get uncomfortable after five minutes?

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Scarlett: What can I say? I'm charming and irresponsible

Paz: Don't you mean 'irresistible'?

Dipper: no, she doesn't.

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Mabel: if you ever feel safe please remember that I'm out there.

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Scarlett: you keep hugging Southeast when she's upset

Scarlett: next thing you know, she's going to fall in love with you. Is that what you want?

Dipper: *scoffing* Is that what I want?

Mabel, loudly over a speaker: YES

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Gideon: You're an egomaniac

Dipper:

Mabel: You're such a fucking jackass

Dipper:

Cody: *breathes*

Dipper:

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Paz: my boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Scarlett: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Gideon: Tackle him.

Cody: Dump him.

Mabel: Kick him in the shin.

Dipper: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN!

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Gideon: Hey Paz, do you think I can get this egg in that jar without it cracking?

Paz: No

Gideon: *throws egg at Dipper*

Gideon: Guess you were right.

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Paz: There is only one thing worse than dying.

Paz: *rips paper away to reveal the word Dipper above the word dying*

Dipper: myself

Paz: nO!

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Dipper: Gideon, I think you should play the role of my father.

Gideon: I don't wanna be your father.

Dipper: That's perfect. You already know your lines.

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Mabel: I hate the concept of dust. There is absolutely no reason why something would get dirty just because no one touches it. That's bullshit

Gideon: just shut up and help us clean!

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Paz: So, get this; more more shot from that blaster and I'm done-zo. Somehow, I manage to find cover, and what does Mabel do?

Dipper: *chuckling* she starts monologuing?

Paz: She starts monologuing! She starts, like, this prepared speech about how feeble I am compared to her, how inevitable my defeat is, how the world will soon be hers! Yadda yadda yadda. . .

Dipper: Yammering.

Paz: YAMMERING! I mean, she has me on a platter, and she won't shut UP!

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Random villain: You can't defeat me, because I possess the person you care about more than anyone else in the world!

Dipper: Unless you've somehow kidnapped me without my knowledge, I think that's impossible.

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Paz: I love it when Dipper is asleep

Paz: he looks so peaceful.

Paz: *getting out a marker* and vulnerable

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Dipper, age 14: has the world ended?

Dipper, age 17, disheveled and draping himself over a bean bag and eating goldfish out of a silver chalice: no. We just live like this now.

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Dipper: *looking at a photo of Paz's mom and a chicken* is that your mother?

Paz: Oh, that's her and Pacifica

Dipper: she named a chicken after you?

Paz: . . .she named me after the chicken.

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Mabel: I have a black belt

Gideon: in taekwondo?

Mabel: from Gucci.

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Gideon: bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health.

Dipper: *doing awkward finger guns* that's why I also bottle up the positive ones ;)

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Paz: Dipper, can I speak with you for a minute?

Dipper: ooooh someone's in trouble!!

Dipper: it's me, I dunno why I did that.

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Mabel: I think we're missing something.

Gideon: teamwork?

Paz: cohesion?

Dipper: a general sense of what we're doing?

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Mabel: I'm heading out

Gideon: okay

Mabel: you stay here and wait for me

Gideon: okay

Mabel: don't touch anything

Gideon: okay

Mabel: *leaves*

Gideon: I'm gonna touch everything

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Paz to the rest of the squad: Can we like, not base our decisions on what does or doesn't happen in episodes of Scooby Doo?

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Mabel watching the news: some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today

Scarlett covered in ink: well maybe the squid was being a dick!

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Scarlett: *steals Paz's bike and runs*

Paz: AT LEAST RIDE IT, YOU ASSHOLE!

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Paz: you're smiling a lot, did something good happen?

Mabel: can't I just smile because I'm happy?

Gideon, sighing: Dipper fell down the stairs

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Paz: Dick-riding is NOT a form of transportation!

Scarlett: Not with that attitude it's not

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Gideon barging into Paz's room: yOu TWo aRE HaVINg sEX!

Paz: Really? Dipper, why didn't you tell me? I would've put my book down

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Mabel: Please talk to her; Scarlett would throw herself in front of a moving car for you

Dipper: Scarlett would throw herself in front of a moving car for fun

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Mabel: you're blocking the view

Dipper: I am the view

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Mabel: I could sure stand to do something stupid

Scarlett: I'm stupid, do me

Scarlett: . . .did I just say that out loud?

~.~.~

Paz: what's it called when you kill a friend?

Gideon: homiecide

Dipper: murder

Gideon: homiecide

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Mabel: Hey, has anyone seen my top?

Dipper, not looking up from his book: Yeah, Scarlett's in the kitchen

Paz: *chokes*

Gideon: *spits out his drink*

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Gideon: Truth or dare?

Dipper: truth

Gideon: how many hours have you slept this week?

Dipper: dare

Gideon: go to sleep

Dipper: . . .I don't like this game

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Scarlett: what's your favorite sport?

Dipper: Paz

Scarlett: . . .

Dipper: wait, sorry, what was the question again?

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Gideon: okay, I've called you all to this meeting because some of us don't seem to get along

Paz: me and Scarlett are literally the only ones you called here

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Mabel: what are you, five?

Dipper: *snorts* yeah, five heads taller than you

Mabel:

Dipper:

Dipper: I'm sorry please don't hurt me

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Mabel: I'm not mad, I just want to know why the hell you two need a fake I.D.?

Paz: *mumbles*

Mabel: What was that?

Gideon: . . .you need to be over eighteen to hold the puppies at PetCo.

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Dipper: why does everyone always assume the worst of me?

Paz: it saves time

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Paz: *kisses Dipper's cheek*

Dipper: what is this?

Paz: affection.

Dipper: disgusting

Dipper: . . .do it again