Intro:

Rich Re:grets was written by jachinthebox. It follows Rich and his group of friends in a coming-of-age story unlike any other. Rich suddenly gains the ability to have "flashforwards," and all of these visions he has only starts happening because of a new student's arrival, and her name is Zoey. When Zoey arrives, it's up to Rich to find out what their connection is and how it's impacting Rich's life.

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Detailed Feedback

What Worked:

I like to start with the small things, and then I'll move into the bigger, more core elements.

To begin with a small thing, I like how you set it in the past, but also not too far in the past. It's familiar yet different, and also, 2010 is such a good year. 2008–2010 was such a memorable period of my life, so for me, it's almost nostalgic, and I think you're going to inspire that out of the reader as well. The setting feels very 2010, so you captured the time period perfectly. Yes, it's not too far back in time, only 14 years, but I still think that deserves a lot of credit since 14 years ago was completely different. It's admirable how you were able to interweave the setting and time with the story while also bringing it to life with your descriptions. That may seem like a small thing, but it's actually bigger than one might give it credit for since liking the time period and setting is a big part of getting readers invested in the story. So good job with that!

Moving more into the core parts of the story, I like the overall concept of the book. The blurb immediately caught my attention—flashforwards? I've never heard that before, and it being connected to a form of visions or time travel is super interesting. Those are the paraphrased thoughts I had when I first clicked on the book. I wanted to know more about this concept and how you'd execute it. Something I find very interesting and well-done is how you connect these powers to the whole plot of the book: a coming-of-age story. I think there are many things I can say about this and interpret from it, but something I thought about is how kids tend to look toward the future a lot. So much so that sometimes they lose sight of their childhood. Rich speaking more like an adult than a kid is proof of that. Him having these abilities to look into the future, even if it isn't that far ahead, is really intriguing and made me think of the themes of coming-of-age stories. I enjoyed that I was able to have these thoughts while reading. I always love me a thought-provoking piece!

The next thing I want to discuss is Rich and how he works well as the central protagonist. I liked Rich a lot from start to finish. Yes, he can be a blunt jerk at times, but that's par for the course for someone his age, and it also is what makes him, well, him. He's a kid learning about life, teamwork, and friendship, and I appreciated that about him, and I also thought his personality added a huge spark of life to the book. Considering he's the protagonist, that's great! I was attached to his character throughout the entire runtime, and I thought you did a good job portraying his personality. I also liked all the friendship moments, and I think you did a good job portraying their bonds (no pun intended for Bond).

Lastly, while on the topic of characters, I really liked Mallory. Her and Rich were my two favorites throughout the runtime. Not that there was anything wrong with the other characters as I liked them too, it was just that Mallory and Rich stood out the most for me. Mallory because she was one of the characters who was really clear when it came to her personality and dialogue, and her personality also personally appealed to me as I know many people like her, so it hit a soft spot with me. She has extremely clear traits that are made clear from as early as her first introduction in chapter 1. You did a good job separating her from the other characters in terms of her personality and dialogue. She was the character who stood out most to me, and I'm glad you gave her the personality you did since it acts as a nice contrast to Rich's.

Oh, I lied, one more small thing to add: I like the title being Rich Re:grets. Not only is it an unconventional format with the presence of the colon in the middle of the word regrets, but the "rich" at first implied the regrets would be, well, rich, but it literally means Rich. There are quite a few things to like about this title, and there are many interpretations you can take away from the colon's presence. I liked the title a lot, and also liked how it rolls off the tongue with the repetition of the r sound.

All in all, Rich Re:grets is an entertaining coming-of-age story, though it definitely delivers on the more emotional sides through its interesting themes and fun characters that will make you want to read more. I particularly liked Rich and Mallory, and I also liked the entire concept of the flashforwards. Making it so there's a time ability interweaving with this coming-of-age narrative was really clever, and I think it serviced the narrative well. Overall, this was a good read that brought me nostalgia at times, which is impressive considering I rarely feel that (not to mention I'm only in my twenties, so I don't know if I'm considered old enough to even feel nostalgia by most people). So good job with this project!

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What Didn't Work:

Be careful with exposition. While it is necessary in most stories to have exposition, be careful with how much you give right in the beginning. You have the entire story to give exposition, so don't feel like you need to dump all the exposition on us at the start. In chapter 2, there's a lot of exposition, and much of it wasn't needed. For example, we didn't need to know the origin of Bond's name so soon, and we didn't need exposition about Mallory's character (you already showed us in chapter 1 everything you told us in chapter 2, so it felt redundant, in my opinion). Like I said, you have the whole story, so don't feel pressured to give us everything all at once, if that makes sense. Especially when some of the things you told us (like the Mallory thing) were shown to us in a far more engaging way in chapter 1. I hope that makes sense.

Sometimes the dialogue did not feel like sixth graders. When I read sixth graders in the blurb, I had a certain mindset I was going into it with, but then when I read the first few chapters, I was wondering if they were in high school up until it was reaffirmed that they're sixth graders. I can accept one or two of the characters talking more like adults with a more advanced vocab, like Rich because he's supposed to be characterized as more pretentious. I mean, he himself calls himself an a-hole, so I have no issue with a character like Rich talking in more advanced ways, but many of the characters do this. Mallory is really the only one who doesn't feel too mature for her age, though even then, she has times she sounds robotic and more like a 16/17/18 year-old. For example, from chapter 6.1, "A cliche means everyone does it. It's only logical for us to do it too." This line isn't too adult-like or advanced by any means, though it does sound a little stiff, especially considering Mallory is talking. She's typically the brash, simplistic one with more aggressive and informal language, and that feels more like something Rich would say, not Mallory.

A lot of times they act more like they're 16, 17, or 18, so that's why I'd just suggest being careful about dialogue sometimes and making sure the characters have their own unique voices. I'm even okay with Bond speaking that way because of the dynamic he's supposed to have with Rich, though when it extends to the other kids, it can get a little distracting. So I really don't have any issue with Rich and even Bond speaking that way, it's more that everyone has moments where they speak like they're Rich or Bond instead of themselves, like that Mallory example I gave. Though, with that being said, I did overall like Mallory's dialogue and thought she had some of the best dialogue in the story, and I think it's important to highlight that.

The last thing I'd like to go over is pacing at the beginning of the story. The first chapter doesn't have a hook, or a reason to continue reading. There was no introduction of the plot or any hints of what was stated in the blurb. While I do strongly recommend having a hook in the first chapter so readers have a better reason to read, I can be okay with this if the hook comes shortly after, but it doesn't. It isn't until the first flashforward over 30 minutes into the story that we get a solid hook. That's a long time to go without a proper hook, and the reason is because of how much time is dedicated to sports in the first few chapters to the point where when we get a tease of Zoey, that's sidelined to instead focus on the sports. This is also because of the exposition I mentioned earlier where chapter 2 had some unnecessary exposition, and tightening some of that can make the pacing tighter as well.

I understand the importance of sports to the story, and I'm not saying don't show it, but as I mentioned with the exposition, you have the entire book to show these things, so maybe instead of having so many sports scenes during the beginning, consider rearranging it a bit to introduce Zoey earlier. Maybe have one sports scene and then Zoey's arrival. The plot doesn't really happen until, like I said, over 30 minutes into the story, and that's the hook of the story and the reason why we clicked on it (since it was an interesting concept you introduced in the blurb). So that's why many readers may click off when they see it takes that long to get to the thing they initially clicked on for, if that makes sense. It's not that I'm saying don't have sports scenes in the beginning; in fact, I'm not recommending that all. The thing I'm recommending is considering downsizing by considering rearranging where one of the scenes goes, modifying it to fit in more with Zoey's arrival, downsizing on the scenes themselves to make them shorter thus moving the plot along faster, etc. Whatever you think will work best with your vision of the story and your writing style! I hope that makes sense!

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Summary:

- Cool, accurately-written time period and setting

- The flashforwards are cool

- Rich is a strong protagonist

- Mallory is a great character with memorable dialogue and traits

- Be careful with exposition

- Be careful with dialogue

- Be careful with pacing

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Overall:

Rich Re:grets tells a compelling tale of Rich and his group of friends during a charming coming-of-age story. It features heavy themes and moments of strong friendship that will warm your heart and make you reminisce on your younger days. If you're someone who enjoys coming-of-age stories with powerful themes, then this is the perfect book for you.

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