Title: Dragon Blood

Author: MC_Matthews (formerly @Hivequeen)

Reviewer: Evergreen_Ebony

Title : It is simple but unique. I think it works well for the story

Cover: The minimalist, smoky, dragon eye is great for the story.

Summary/Blurb : The grammar and structure of the summary is coherent and well written. However, for a fantasy story it is too detailed. Please try to limit the details to make it more mysterious.

General Concept/Plot: The concept is exciting and the general idea you have laid out for the story is engaging. It makes me want to read more. However, the plot and pacing seem disjointed in some areas. The story starts as a high fantasy and then shifts to an urban fantasy a bit sharply. There are also many characters that some readers may find confusing to follow.

Grammar/Punctuation/Structure: The grammar is quite nice but some paragraphs are not well structured. Some are too long, others have dialogue within a block of text. There are many dialogue punctuation errors. For instance, this example from chapter one. 

"Greetings, matron. I come peacefully." he said.

Correct version- "Greetings, Matron. I come peacefully," he said.

Please try to edit your dialogue to ensure that each person's statement is a standalone paragraph. I also suggest you reconsider prologue one and two. First of all, they are more like chapters than one shots. Secondly, they would work much better if incorporated into the story.

Writing Style: It is good that you try to incorporate details into dialogue. However you should please watch out for too much dialogue. Try to find a better balance between showing and telling. 

Setting: For a fantasy story the environmental details are lacking. Try to depict the scenes better, e.g the imagery, odours/fragrance, sounds. textures etc.

Characters: The main character, Rhia Kincaid does not make an active appearance until chapter one. When she does, she plays a supporting character's role. Perhaps you want her character to develop from passive to bold in the course of the story. If that is the case it can work, but don't allow her to be overwhelmed by too many strong characters at the beginning of the story. So far, the other characters are more fleshed out than she is.

Conclusion: I hope you accept my review in good faith. It is not meant to offend or discourage you. I think your story is good, but needs a little work here and there. Best wishes and good luck.

Ebony