Client: Amelia_Rosexxx

How it felt when I was reading your book:

TITLE

You had me at the first word xD. Sleeping is always love. But honestly, this book can attract a lot of people with the title alone. These fictional tropes are quite popular on Wattpad and to have the ability to write an erotic novel is wonderful.

BLURB

I think the blurb is just absolutely mind-blowing. It's fantastic and I really like how you could incorporate a part of the story and a summary with no spoilers in it. Great job at that!

COVER

I really love the bright colours of the fonts. They provide a beautiful contrast to the dark erotic background behind them. The author's name is clearly seen as well. So, that was a good score!

PLOT

I was honestly on my periods when I was reading this book, and I felt my blood burn xD.

As much as I really love that the plot of the book involves a lot of action and drama since the beginning, there are things that can still be polished. ♥

1. Tenses

Tenses are a nightmare, especially when you are writing a story. 

A Simple rule: When a chapter is in the past tense, the entire story must go through the past tense. Likewise for the Present tense.

Example: "I said what I said. Steven Denver doesn't like wasting time and you know that. Leave all this and let's go." Steven said and sat in his car. The driver starts driving and the car soon vanishes.

What it could have been: "I said what I said. Steven Denver doesn't like wasting his time and you know that. Leave all this and let's go." Steven walked away and pulled the handle rather hardly, alerting the driver to kickstart the car. The car soon vanished, leaving a puff of smoke along the trail.

2. Commas

Dialogue writing can seem really easy when you are reading a story, but writing that down? One would appreciate any author who had to keep them in mind.

Here are some simple tips on when to end a dialogue with a comma or a full stop.

Words like said, reply, spoke, told, tell, says, replies will always have a comma behind them.

All words that do some kind of action such as pulling, walking, eating, turning around will have a full stop behind them.

Also, try limiting the usage of said because it feels like it's being repeated too many times. ♥ Try experimenting with new words.

Example: "Back off." He said and pushed the guy.

Here, Back off definitely sounds like a threat, something that has a lot of action to it.

What it could have been: "Back off." The mysterious hazel-eyed man yelled at him before punching right at his ugly nose.

3. Ellipsis

Authors tend to use the dots to exclaim an emotion in a sentence. Usually consists of just three dots and not more than that.

Example: He looked... angry?

4. Descriptions

I absolutely loved the use of images in the book, the huge mansions and the characters themselves were actually pretty awesome. 

In case, you have an idea of publishing this book (Which I think you should), words would definitely make up more beautiful descriptions than the images themselves. 

Describe how big the rooms were. Were they big enough to hold at least 3000 people? Was the ceiling too high that the bodyguard would need a firetruck's ladder to fix a bulb? 

OVERALL

The only magic that the book needs is a little bit of polishing. I would highly recommend using Grammarly or Microsoft Word to type your drafts in so that there would be minimal errors in the book. It just needs a little bit of proofreading. It was pretty nice reading this book and I love how bold both the characters are. Definitely, a 2 doms crossover and that is quite marvellous.

Keep writing and good luck! ♥  Amelia_Rosexxx