Taylor's POV

If it wasn't obvious, I don't like Nicole. The moment I heard her shrill voice call Darko's name, making a hasty exit was forefront in my mind.

Look, she's probably a nice person or whatever, but because she likes Darko and because Darko's going on a date with her makes me jealous. And, when I'm jealous, I'm not exactly the nicest person.

It's crushing, seeing the person you're in love hanging with someone else. Ugh. Why did he have to make that stupid bet? His family is well off, he could have easily afforded those beers if he wanted to.

As soon as she brought up the date, I couldn't take it anymore and I got up. Bella and Lyra shot me a confused glance, but I ignored it. Darko didn't even notice me leave.

I need to stop doing this. Every time Darko and I are alone, I feel little snippets of emotion and feelings that aren't meant to be in best-friend friendships. I swear, I'm not biased; sure, I like the dude, but I swear we just connect sometimes. It ranges from a small hand brush to lingering eye contact, to the electricity I feel whenever Darko comforts me about my Mum.

Last night, I could have sworn we were having a moment after I calmed down; on paper, it all seemed right. There was dramatic eye contact, a pause, and we were so close together, holding our breaths, waiting for something. Maybe I'm just overthinking. Maybe I was just waiting for something.

It just felt so intimate, so weirdly close and personal that I couldn't help but think that maybe he was thinking of kissing me.

Then, that play fight? Good fucking lord, where did that come from? Maybe it was the adrenaline, but I'm so glad I didn't pop a fucking boner when he had me pinned down. His butt was pressed up against my lap – my dick had every reason to get excited but it didn't. I absolutely did not sleep easy that night – all I could think about was how I wanted him to climb on top of me again without any clothes on.

I'm going crazy. Straight men are dumb. Feelings are dumb. Ugh.

Tangling my hands in my hair, I frustratingly groan to myself as I lean against a pillar. I've moved through the café, and I'm now in an inbetween interior space between the café and the library. Students bustle by, and the hum of chatter is at a pleasant level.

Just breathe. Nicole will be gone soon, and I can continue my day without thinking about him and her being together. I should probably order another coffee or something, so Bella, Darko and Lyra don't think I'm weird. They probably do anyway, who am I kidding. I'm probably the only uni student that doesn't like drinking.

I wander back into the café, and as I line up a familiar redhead's voice says "Hey," behind me. "Is everything all right?"

I turn around, and Bella's there. A worried expression paints her face. I feel a panic bubble up in me, and the word vomit just starts tumbling out.

"Oh yeah, all good. Thought I needed to use the bathroom, but then changed my mind, so then decided to get a coffee. This line is so long, I've been standing here for ages now. Move people, move!"

If I could facepalm myself, I would. Bella does it for me.

"Tay. Come on. What is it?"

I shrug. "Okay, fine. Just been a rough couple of days. Had an incident with Mum last night – I'll tell you later – and I just couldn't stand Nicole's voice. Don't know what Darko was thinking – the girl reminds me of Amber Heard for some reason."

Bella laughs. "I get it. Darko can do so much better."

Yeah, better as in me. Something knots in my gut, but I ignore it, moving up in line.

With a resigned smile, she stays with me and wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a warm side-hug. The embrace is comforting, and I feel myself ease up.

Releasing me, we stand in a comfortable silence, waiting for our turn in the queue. Bella's always been there for me, right from the beginning of our friendship. Some kid in our class was giving me shit for not having any formal training like he did (there are a LOT of kids in our class that come from wealthy backgrounds, and to have a kid in there who learned everything from YouTube was just not on) and I remember her first interaction with me was to punch him in the face. She said she was fed up with his shit, and him making fun of me was the exact excuse she needed to teach him a lesson.

Look. I am not an advocate for violence. But if Bella had not done what she did, I would have punched the dickhead. He didn't bother me again.

After that, she hung out with me every class we had together, and soon, she became a valued friend.

I should probably come out to her. If she defended me for my piano skills, then surely she won't care about me being gay. She's a theatre student, for Christ's sake. Gays and theys are her bread and butter.

Still, what would happen if I tell her? She's one of my closest friends - everything would change. Would she still love me? Would she be fine with it, but treat me differently? What if she cuts me off? I like how she treats hetero-me - I can't imagine how she'd treat real-me.

The questions and thoughts turn my gut into lead, so I let the idea fade into the back of my brain.

"Hey, dude, you gonna order or what?"

I blink. "Sorry, what?"

Bella nudges my arm, and I'm jolted back to reality. We're at the front of the queue. "Yes, sorry, a mocha please."

We pay and stand in the pickup area. Bella chuckles to herself. "You're so far away, Tay. Get out of your head."

I shrug. "Hard to sometimes."

She shakes her head, smiling good-naturedly. "Look, later on at Lyra's campaign party, once we're done helping her maybe we could have some fun, let loose for a bit, maybe do some shots?"

"Maybe. A resounding no to the shots, but maybe to the rest of it."

She nearly squeals. "Yay! I think you really need this Tay. You haven't partied in a while!"

We wait a few moments longer. Our names are called, and we grab our beverages. As I take it, Bella's smartwatch beeps with a reminder she's set up that class starts soon. We make our way to the theatre.

#

Class goes by quickly. I rehearse more of the song I plan on playing at the end of semester concert, then move on to help Bella and her group practice for their end of year show, a rendition of Les Misérables. I'm helping with a few songs on the piano – gives me something to do, and another thing to add to my resume.

Bella's on stage running lines with a few other kids, and I'm sat by the piano, daydreaming about last night. There isn't a song for a few more pages, so my mind wanders as I wait for my cue. The cue never comes – one of the people she's blocking the scene with has a nosebleed, so they take five. She wanders over to me and leans on the piano.

"I was thinking," Bella begins, "have you thought about what you're going to wear to Lyra's party?"

"Bells, if you're thinking I plan my outfits ahead of time, you're dreaming," I say. I actually do have an outfit planned out – black denim jeans, my T-shirt with a Henley button up, and my green bomber jacket - but I don't tell her that. Straight guys don't plan ahead. They just do things.

"Right, sorry. Don't let fashion get in the way of your masculinity," she says, smirking. I roll my eyes. "Wear something nice; I'm gonna take lots of photos. I've been working on a small project for Lyra that'll really blow her away. Involves pics, cheesy home footage of her posters and campaigning speeches, and her winning that seat on the council."

"You're really confident she'll win?"

Bella nods, eyebrows furrowing. "Um, yeah? Have you seen that girl's determination? The only thing that would stop her would be a scandal, but she's way too good and smart to involve herself in that shit."

I nod.

"Also, I dunno. Maybe you'll meet someone that night."

Snorting, I throw my pen at my book. "Right. Maybe."

She folds her arms. "What's wrong? Do you not want to find a cute girl? You're a hot guy, Tay!"

Just before I speak, her phone vibrates loudly in her pocket. She pulls it out and the words Uncle Spier dance across the screen. She answers the phone.

"Hello?" She says, before plugging a finger in her other ear and walking out of earshot of the chatting students. There's a few oh's and wow's said, before her face glows with excitement. Hanging up the phone and shoving it in her pocket, Bella walks back to me with a wide grin.

"My uncle just got married!" She exclaims. I smile.

"Oh my God, that's great Bella! Who's the lucky girl? I didn't know he was even seeing someone."

"Lucky guy," She corrects, smirking. "Married his long-time partner Micah. Well, I guess he's Uncle Micah to me now, or Uncle Spier too. I dunno. Would they both be Uncle Spier? Anyway, I'm so so happy for them - they were talking about marriage a few months ago but they didn't have set plans. I could squeal right now!"

Hm. Well, Bella is definitely comfortable with gay people. If she's this excited about her uncle getting married, then maybe it'll be all right if I came out to her. Maybe. I dunno. Should I wait for a special time to come out? I'm not going to do it right now, but maybe later on?

She's one of my closest friends. I won't be coming out to everyone, but I feel like she deserves to know about the real me. I'm sure things will be okay. Maybe at the party? Nah, that night should be about Lyra. It should be.

The thought of doing it is making my palms sweat, so I shake off the idea and try to focus on Bella's excitement. That plan lasts for less than a minute as the nose-bleeding student gives the A-OK thumbs up. They resume scene blocking. Left to my own devices, my mind wanders back to Darko.

What goes on in his mind? Does he think about girls? Dirt bike racing? Does he think about tracks he's driven over or places he wants to race?

Does he think about me? Does he think about the night we shared last night, how he comforted me, how we play fought? How we slept next to each other, in the same bed?

I wish he were into dudes. I can see it now; in an alternate universe, we'd have been under the covers, making out till the sun rose. At Lyra's party, we'd be bobbing our heads to trap music, absolutely throwing ourselves into the rhythm, having fun together and kissing on the dancefloor. We'd play beer pong, and we'd both get stupidly drunk, unable to keep our hands off each other. We'd take enough photos to fill out a dozen photo albums, and, when we're satisfied, we'll find a vacant room and explore each other till we fall asleep.

I hear my cue, and snap back into focus. I throw myself into the song, and thoughts of Darko dissipate.