Yil

I felt so safe and warm. Very warm. As the source of light cocooned my whole being with the cool sweet-smelling air breathing life into my lungs. Both cool and warmth complimented each other in an effort to soothe and heal my weak body and mind.

The pleasant chirping of the birds carried lightly in the breeze to create divine music notes of serenity and the rustle of the tree leaves pacified the once raging sea of emotions that raved violently within me. Only now it was replaced by calm waters that moved slowly onshore to sanity and offshore into tranquility. Even the rambunctious, carefree laughter of faraway children was soothing.

Surely I had made heaven.

This revelation made me smile and I tried to whisper my thanks to the Sky Lordians. What do you know, they weren't that bad.

"She's stirring," a voice announced, breaking into my preconsciousness and disrupting my silence. "Her breathing is also regulating," It said once more.

My mind was shrouded in a thick cloud of europhia and I fought to remain in my current state of ease as the voice forcefully nudged it's way into my ears, demanding to be acknowledged. It was an all too familiar voice and I noticed that it was Zena's.

Wait! Zena made it to heaven as well?! Sky Lordians, have my heart for despite our sins you welcomed us in.

"She looks so peaceful and happy I almost don't want to wake her up," Zena lamented.

"Well she has to," a deep voice insisted. "She isn't off the hook just yet. Especially after the dangerous stunt you two pulled," It warned with a restrained angry tone.

The feeling of dread overwhelmed my senses without warning and I felt my lungs constrict until I was sure there was no oxygen left for me to live on. The surprising fact, however, was that I still didn't feel the uncomfortable tingling feeling that came with suffocation. Instead, the regulated beating of my heart signified that the suffocation was only psychological. Even my body was betraying me.

My last recollections of memories began to pour rapidly into my mind and it finally dawned on me that I wasn't in heaven but in the pack. Probably on my bed surrounded by, god knows how many people, who were waiting on my every breath till the final one which would eventually draw me back to consciousness.

Just darn great. Eat dust Sky Lordians!!!

I tentatively opened up a heavy slumbered eyelid to peer discreetly at the number of individuals I was going to have to face. However, even that discreet movement didn't escape the eagle eyes of Measer Fern whose gaze was trained on my every move, even the slightest. Damn him!

"Welcome back to the land of consciousness, princess," he chirped, a little too brightly.

It had been confirmed. No one could change my mind about the fact that Measer Fern was a SADIST! Because there was certainly nothing happy about this state of affairs.

I heard someone walk quickly to the side of my bed and upon inhaling the sweet scent of vanilla and jasmine, I knew it was my mother.

"Yil?" Her airy, comforting voice called out to me, imploring me to answer to her voice.

The silent plea pulled at my heart strings but I was not ready to face them yet and so I inconspicuously shut my eyes, content with dragging the unconscious act for a while longer. But Measer Fern was having none of it as he just had to throw in a few sentences.

"I know the depths of peaceful slumber can provide a much better alternative to the present reality, however, pretending isn't going to get us anywhere and stalling isn't an option at the moment,"

Says who? I challenged internally and stubbornly kept my eyes glued shut.

"Yil!" My father's silent growl was enough to stop me in my rebellious act and with an internal sigh of defeat and a mental countdown of five seconds, I opened my eyes reluctantly and righted myself to a sitting position.

Then I swept my gaze, methodically, around the room to study each of their faces slowly. My mother's expression was one of fatigue and pain as her red rimmed eyes calmed in relief at my unhurt state and her lips lifted up slightly in a smile. Zena was by the foot of the bed in an equally emotionally draining state. Her neck was angled in submission towards my father who was standing by my balcony door but with one fleeting gaze she communicated her relief at my now conscious state.

Measer Fern was seated, unfazed by the whole situation, on a fold-up chair as he sipped on a herbal brew and with one quick sideways glance I saw the hardened look my father threw my way and cringed slightly. It was going to be a long meeting.

I debated on whether to break the uncomfortable silence or not but surprisingly Lira, who walked out of my ensuite bathroom and into the bedroom, took the duty upon herself. I'm not one to complain, however, why was she here? The room was already crowded as it is.

"You could cut the tension in this room with a knife," she joked, coming to sit at the foot of the bed next to Zena. "You guys should chill a little. They didn't kill anyone," she shrugged before turning to look at Zena. "I mean the poor girl is already scared senseless," she stared accusedly at my father before rubbing her hands, up and down, over Zena's back in an effort to soothe her.

Zena's rigid stance relaxed a little bit and I silently thanked Lira for the kind, thoughtful gesture.

"They are rules in this pack Lira," my father retorded, angrily. "Rules that both of you deliberately broke regardless of the consequences," he thundered, turning to address Zena and I.

I flinched slightly from the power radiating off his body and a small whimper escaped Zena's lips. Even my mother was visibly shaken. "And for that I am extremely disappointed," he continued before directing his gaze at me. "Especially in you Yil. You are going to be the future leader of this pack one day so why would you let your reckless hunger for adventure drive you?" He questioned.

His stare was hard and his forehead was furrowed in anger but this facade cracked momentarily and I saw the pain that filled his eyes and much more confusing was the fear he harboured in his expression. My father was not one to be fearful. Heck! He was the bravest person I knew. The reason behind that, surely, had to be more than just Zena and I's portal travel to the outside world.

However, I couldn't dwell on my hunch for much longer as his words tore at my heart and I welcomed the pain it brought because, truth be told, I had not thought of how this would affect the pack and for that I was extremely remorseful. This wasn't the leader I hoped to be and I felt it exceedingly difficult to hold his gaze for the shame came down upon me in thick invisible wisps of smoke and voices that taunted me.

"There's certainly no need to make her feel even more dejected than she already is," my mother soothed and I caught Lira rolling her eyes in agreement. "She's back safe and sound and from the looks of it the trip was not even recent. Right?" My mother raised my chin for confirmation and I nodded before she sighed in relief. "Then that's enough," she said, turning to plead with my father who grunted in displeasure. "She's atoned enough for her wrongdoings. Now she needs to rest," my mother stroked my chin lovingly and moved to peck my forehead.

In her eyes shone gratefulness that I was back, safe and sound. Nothing else mattered to her.

"Atonement for which wrongdoings?" Measer Fern huffed with a light smile. He was starting to seriously get on my nerves. "This journey only brought into completion the 'impossible'," he said, pausing to make air quotes. "But as we know the Sky Lordians do work in mysterious ways," he mused, stopping to take a sip of his brew.

"Argh! Shut the hocus-pocus you weird geek and fess up," Lira sighed in exasperation. "Nobody has time for riddles," she pointed out, gesturing to my father who placed his fingers to his temple, a failing attempt to control his annoyance. My mother's expression had turned sour as she waited with bated breath for the next bad news. Even Zena had resulted to sitting slumped against Lira who continually petted her hair.

Yep nobody had time to play "who's the smartest?"

"I only suggest solutions, as you'd like to call them, to inevitable happenings. She's the one going through the phases not me so ask her," he dismissed, cocking an eyebrow at Lira who scowled.

I could feel one big looming storm of disagreement brewing in the background between my annoyed father, an irritated Lira and an unbothered Measer Fern and at that moment I had had enough so I spoke up for the first time.

"I found my mate," I croaked. My parched throat hurt from the exertion and my tongue was heavy and resisted the command to move.

Liras' face lit up with a knowing smile. The tricky fae knew all along. My mother and father looked at me in confusion not quite understanding how that piece of information fitted in with the current topic.

"I found him on my trip to the outside world," I elaborated, staring at my intertwined fingers. They were red from my constant twisting. "He's an outside wolf," I concluded.

The silence that descended unto the whole room once I said that was so still, you could hear a pin drop miles away. I gulped down hard and waited for the tempest accompanied with a hailstorm to rain down heavily upon me. Instead my mother muffled a silent cry as she slumped down towards the floor and my father was quick to catch her before she fell hard.

He cradled her head in his arms and rocked her slowly all the while whispering soft words of assurance to her.

O-o-okay....I knew being mated to an outside wolf was bad but I wasn't expecting this reaction.

"How is she mated to an outside wolf?" my father whispered-asked with a growl.

"It's beyond me as well," Measer Fern replied as he stood up and walked to the balcony where he channeled a series of calming breeze to my mother. "But seeing as she is the one that will mend the bridge between our world and that of the outside world, it's only logical that she be mated to one," he speculated.

"Why am I mending bridges?" I asked, confused. "What's with all these prophecies and nonsensical theories?" I snarled, frustrated as it became apparent that my life might have been planned before my conception. What load of crap was this?

I looked towards my parents for answers but they were so engrossed in comforting each other as they processed the devastating information. Lira sighed loudly, urging Measer Fern to get a move on and he brought his gaze towards me slowly.

"You are a prophesied wolf," he stated as a matter-of-fact. "That's the reason why you are the only white-wolf who can control all the elements," he explained further. "It is your fate that you mend the distance between our world and the outside world but up until now I had no idea how you would achieve that. Quite contrary to your parents who sought to deny your fate," he stated, staring accusedly at my parents who had hidden the truth from me. "But that was until it was revealed that your mate would be an outsider and none other than Aryn Vazquez," he finished before walking back to pick his cup of brew but upon finding it empty he dropped it with a dissatisfied grunt.

I was appalled, frightened in fact. Because it was laughable that despite my resistance to disregard the Sky Lordians and follow my own path, my actions and thoughts had been subconsciously aligned with the will of the gods I had vehemently sought to ignore. What a big, fat, cruel joke!

"So how am I meant to go about this sacrificial heroic nonsense that your gods have placed on me?" I shouted, transferring all my pent up aggression to him. "Don't I get a say in this?" I questioned, incredulously.

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes and I paused for a moment to calm my hyperventilation before I spoke up again. "I presume you've read that book huh?" I asked, referring to the book of horrors and Zena flinched from the memory. "Would you sincerely want me in the midst of such ferocious beasts?" I snarled.

"Ferocious? That's quite rich coming from you," he replied, coolly and my father growled warningly at him. "That," he said motioning to my father. "Is an example of the ferocity that our kind is capable of," he explained. "Just because we have learnt to deal with ours and they haven't," he said referring to the outside world. "Doesn't mean we are any different from them," he added. "Yes, their cruel, greedy, vile ways were what caused the separation in the first place, however, you going back there to mend the century old feud is for a far greater cause. That is, only if you would accept your fate," he finished.

"She can't accept that fate, never," my mom choked out amidst her tears.

"Why do we have to keep going in circles?" Measer Fern threw up his hands in exasperation. "You said that fifteen years ago, has that changed anything?" he sneered and my father bared fang at him. A caution that he was to mind his tone of voice.

After a deep breath he spoke up again, "I apologise greatly for that Luna and Alpha," he said. "But she can't continue to hide here," he reasoned in a much softer tone. "Aryn has the ancient white-wolf power box and it's only a matter of time before he finds her and the whole pack,"

"What?!" My father shouted. "How could that be?" He questioned.

Honestly, I could care less at this point. I just wanted to be left alone. All these prophecies, god-ordained fates and then the deception just made me want to curl up and wail.

"Everyone, out!" I snapped abruptly, cutting off their argument and they all turned to face me. My parents were shocked, Zena was relieved, Lira snickered and looked at me as if to say that it was high time I did that. Measer Fern was just....well Measer Fern. Unbothered as usual.

"This is all too much for me and I need some time to think this through," I pleaded.

"There's no thinking this through," my father stated deadpan. "If he finds us and makes trouble, which they will, then we'll give him a war," he thundered.

"No!" I shouted. "I don't want that," I wailed. "I just want you all out of my room," I insisted. "You both don't even have the right to make that decision, you kept vital information from me," I accused.

I saw the hurt expression that was mirrored on both their faces and I felt bad for saying that. They probably just wanted to protect me. I would have done the same, but I really needed to be alone.

My mother tried to touch my face but I angled it away from her and my hair fell to provide a curtain against my face as well as a barrier between me and her. She stifled a sob and got up gently from the floor and with a quiet shake of her head she managed to placate my father who was intent on arguing.

Reluctantly, he turned around and stormed out of the room, growling to Measer Fern to follow him. My mother shuffled quietly with Lira and Zena behind her and once they were out I channelled a rush of wind towards the door and shut it tight.

Then I broke down and wailed gutturally until I was spent and my muscles were lax. Before I fell into a deep, relaxed slumber.

☘︎

The haze of calm was beginning to settle and I slowly became aware of my surroundings. Night had fallen upon the pack to provide a blanket of star filled blue skies designed with the crescent jeweled moon. It's light shone into my room through the open balcony and all was still and quiet.

I closed my eyes again and willed myself to fall asleep. I would rather exist in the soothing land of my unconsciousness than the troubled seas of my consciousness. However, the slightest dip in my bed drew my attention and I remained still, hoping that whoever it was would take the hint and buzz off. I still needed to be alone.

But the presence persisted, inching closer and closer to me with renewed courage. Who on earth was this insensitive, huh? Suddenly, I felt a warm breath fan against my face before licking it in delight. Okay this was certainly not a person. The sniffles became louder and so did the enthusiastic licks. Coupled with the fact that the movement caused the soft, hairy body of fur to tickle my nose and ears.

I moved my face away, opened my eyes slowly and before me was Snowball. The cheeky, little, munchkin had migrated back.

"Snowball!" I squealed and he bounded happily into my arms. I hugged him gently, careful not to squeeze his delicate body and inhaled his scent. He smelled of wild flowers and rose bushes. I had missed him so much.

"You decided to come back to mummy, hmm," I cooed, ruffling his fur and scratching under his chin. He lapped excitedly at my fingers before furrowing under my shirt and poking his head out of my collar. His actions tickled me and I giggled at his playful antics.

He hadn't changed a bit.

Snowball had been my pet since I was five, however, every winter he would migrate with his family who stayed down at the pond. They could go as far as the faerie lands and deep into the Wonderan forest as they were a bunch of little furry adventurers who loved to see new sights and places. However, every spring and through to summer they would return home.

"What new sights did you see, big guy?" I enquired and he twitched his nose, adorably before sniffing the air. "What's up Snowball?"

Snowshoe hares were sensitive to smell just like lycanthropes and I knew he had sensed another presence in the dimly lit room. The musky scent of oud wood wafted up my nose and I smiled contentedly.

"Come on out Rae. Snowball wants to say hi," I softly called out.

He emerged slowly from the shadow with a boyish grin that highlighted his dimples and his long locks gave him a rugged look that warmed my insides.

"She wasn't meant to know I was here," he reprimanded Snowball with a smile and bent to pet the creature who was safely snuggled in my shirt.

Snowball jumped out of my shirt and into Raes' arms in an attempt to tackle him but Rae was an immovable rock who gently restrained Snowball. Snowball moved about restlessly in his arms for a moment, trying different tactics before he eventually gave up and jumped off the bed to rest by the balcony.

"He's a little fighter, isn't he?" I praised as I watched Snowball yawn softly before bending to lie on the floor.

"Just like his owner," Rea chuckled. "You should have seen the way he scratched desperately at your door willing it to open up for him,"

I laughed softly at this revelation and turned towards Rae. "So you were just going to drop him off and leave?" I teased.

"Well, that was the initial plan," he admitted with an uneasy laugh. "But I wanted to see your face for a few minutes before I eventually left. He obviously exposed my plan," he chuckled, motioning to Snowball with a tilt of his head.

"I'm glad he did," I said before moving closer to give Rae a hug which he returned. I pecked the base of his neck slowly and moved my fingers to caress his hair but he removed my hands slowly from his head and placed them in his own where he rubbed over them.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned. He usually responded to my touch and I needed him now more than ever.

"It's just that you are tired," he said, avoiding my gaze. "And I really shouldn't have come in here. You still need to rest," he advised.

"Please," I laughed. "I'm not a fragile egg that you need to be careful around and I really don't want to think about anything else other than us," I said, placing my hands around his neck and dragging it towards me. "I need you," I whispered and moved in to kiss him.

"What about him then?" He asked quietly and I stopped confused as to who he was referring to. "What about your mate, Aryn Vazquez?" He enquired and I heard the crack in his voice as he tried hard to swallow his pain.

No! This could not be happening. I looked on, frozen in time as the pain pierced through my heart. I felt Ava whine softly but she still kept the barrier between us in place and so I couldn't even comfort her.

"I waited for you at the ceremony for a long time," his quiet, dejected voice brought my gaze back to him. "But you never returned, then Alpha and Luna along with Measer Fern left seconds after the end of dinner in a rush and I knew something was not right," he turned to back me and sat by the edge of the bed.

The action brought tears to my eyes and I felt my lung squeeze tightly in agony as it cut my air supply. I was going to lose him. That revelation caused my head to throb painfully and I fought hard to regulate my breathing.

"Then when I saw Alpha carry your lifeless body hurriedly into your room. I was so convinced you were badly hurt," the remaining words caught in his throat and a strangled sob escaped from his lips. By now I was already crying silently, yet again. "I sincerely didn't want to eavesdrop but nobody would tell me anything," he continued. "And that was when I heard everything. About your portal travel, the prophecy," he recounted. "And your mate," he whispered.

"He doesn't even want me," I persuaded.

"That was why you stalled the marking," he continued disregarding what I said.

"I don't want him either," I persisted. "I want you. Only you,"

"That was why you were so apprehensive. You were suffering within and I didn't even know it," he was beginning to blame himself and I couldn't have that.

He tried to get up from the bed and I crawled hurriedly after him before wrapping my arms tightly around his back. He had managed to stand up and I was kneeling on the bed with my body flushed desperately behind him in a stranglehold.

"Rae, please don't leave. I need you," I whispered amidst the sobs that racked my body. "I don't want him. I want only you and I'm so sorry for delaying our marking. I was..." Rae cut off my ramblings with an abrupt turn as he rammed his lips onto mine.

His lips devoured mine in a state of urgency as his hands angled my mouth up to him. I matched his intensity with one of my own and together our need for one another engulfed us in it's fiery orb. Till it's light reduced to a throbbing spark and with our foreheads placed against the other we breathed in simultaneously.

"I can't seem to let you go even after you've found him," he admitted, huskily. "What does that make me?" he lightly laughed. "A fool who's willing to go head on with the mate of another," he said.

"I don't want him," I stated, defiantly and cupped his face in my hands then I placed my finger to his lips to stop him from talking. "Regardless of what the Sky Lordians might want. I choose you," I resolved. "The only reason I'm going there is because I don't want the pack to have to go to war against such beasts," I stated in disgust. "It's my mistake and I'm going to protect the clan whatever it takes,"

"What would you do if you went there?"

"I don't know yet," I replied with an unsure laugh. "But I have to know just how much he knows about our clan and only then can I protect the pack,"

"He's your mate Yil and an Alpha. Even though you are so convinced that he doesn't want you, he also won't let you go easily," he reasoned.

"I'm pretty sure I can bargain with him. He wants me Rae just not in the way you would want me. He needs me for something,"

I had seen it in his eyes and it had been confirmed when he had let us slip so easily from his grasps. He had a plan but I wasn't just sure where I fitted in.

"What if it's something sinister?" He enquired, still not convinced that my plan was going to go as smoothly as I believed it would.

"Have you forgotten I beat you numerous times during training?" I joked, feigning indignation. "And as a white-wolf who has control over all the elements I am more powerful than they are so I can hold my own," I assured him. "I'll just have to tell my parents of my decision and I'm not sure how they'll take it," I said, worriedly. "But don't worry. I'll be fine," I soothed, pecking him lightly on the lips.

"I won't," He assured me. "Because I'm going with you," he announced determinedly. "And there's no need to argue," he said, pulling me into his arms.

I let myself be pulled and gently placed my head on his chest. The steady beat provided a pacifier to my emotions. Besides, I didn't even have the energy to argue. Maybe I would have a better chance at dissuading him tomorrow when it was bright and sunny because right now I had just made the biggest decision of my life and I still needed it to sink in....before I grew cold feet.
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