Aryn

One gulp.
A second gulp.
A third. Till I could count no more.

The dank, void room reflected, perfectly, the emptiness I felt inside. It's growing depth provided a breathing ground for the gyre of emotions that ravaged, mercilessly, about. Only tempered down, momentarily, by the constant supply of astringent liquid, escaping its glassy confines. As it continued on its sensory ignition journey. Cascading, smoothly, down my throat and leaving behind its fiery footprints.

Its essence could never give me the inebriation I so desperately craved.

However, it would do for now.

Another gulp followed the last one and picking up the tall-necked bottle, I tipped its form into the tumbler and awaited the deposition of its contents. Only this time, none was forthcoming but a few insignificant drops.

"Drat!" I mumbled, tossing it over to an amassing collection of its kind. Upon contact it created a sharp clink that reverberated round the whole room to ring loudly within my ears. "Do you have to be so fricking loud?" I hissed in displeasure as I swayed up to my feet.

The study danced and whirled along my vision in high spirits just as the ground below me seemed to draw farther and farther away from my feet. Looking towards the source of my displeasure, I noticed that the pile of empty bottles had multiplied, tremendously.

Ten green bottles standing on the floor. No, no, no it was fifteen green bottles? Twenty perhaps? Were the bottles even meant to increase with each rhyme or decrease? Maybe I was intoxicated, afterall.

Each bottle doubled in number the more I stared at it. Dividing from each other and then reassigning again like a mitotic process. The walls mirrored the same actions as well as the furniture, racks of books and even my hands. The world as I knew it was changing right before my eyes and like a prisoner, I became trapped in its dystopian reality.

Barren expanse of land rolled out as far and wide as the eyes could see. A whirling pool of dark, gooey substance hung, suspended in the blood-red sky and thick-winged creatures, a cross between a vulture and a southern cassowary, terrorised the desolate habitat. My feet refused my order to move just as my docile form resisted the receding spike of adrenaline that sought to awaken my senses.

The amassing pile of bottles were back again, this time in the form of a living being. Their glassy orbs exploded into blinding rays of light that hurt my unblinking eyes. Then they morphed into the structure of a rectangular mirror. Silvery-white hair, pink-hued lips and emerald-round eyes smiled back at me from the display and despite her allure, I could still do no more but stand and stare. Her smile was one of radiant elegance and stretching out her hand, she pulled onto the soft palms of another and hugged him close.

The figure's back was to me but there was no need to see his face to know who it was. Instantaneously, I broke through the hindering barrier between me and the hurtful depictions. The boiling anger within me flittered out of my pores to form a sword of flaming emotions and with the weapon raised, I sought to alienate the white-wolf. The mirror moved farther away from me the more I drew close to it and each footfall grew heavy. The strings of gooey substance had strapped onto my torso and with each breath, pulled me into its vortex.

The tears flowed, freely, down my cheeks as I tossed and fought to set myself free. Thunderous growls escaped my being to manifest as silent, empty threats with no audio backing. Mocking laughter could be heard, rising in crescendo with each passing second. The white-wolfs' eyes twinkled with delight as he threw his head back and laughed at my pitiful state. Alas, I could do no more but bawl and stare on as the vortex enveloped my whole being and submerged me in a state of ease and calm.

My body floated, supported by the spacious matter within the vortex. Just as my eyelids succumbed to the slumber that drew them close. A feathery, light sensation wiped the fallen tears off my cheeks and all I could do was jerk my eyebrows, slightly, at the unexpected contact. The sensation soon grew a voice and with it came words that I struggled to understand at first.

"...in the long run you're sure to be the death of both me and yourself," it's anxious murmur broke into the thick dark mist, shrouding my mind and I fought hard to block out its disturbance. "Just why in the world would anyone think it was a good idea to drink while losing blood from a festering wound?" the airy sound continued, placing a cool substance on my forehead.

I welcomed the feeling with relish and sought to continue on in my restful state when a sharp pain flared up the side of my left leg to take my breath away.

"Dammit!" I groaned, feebly fighting off the attack from the unknown presence. I tried, fruitlessly, to open up my eyelids but they stayed content with keeping me in the dark.

"Just stay still, I'll only be a minute," it soothed, continuing to dab at the wounded area. The action felt like a vengeful stab against my sensitive flesh and I swore that come hell or high water, I would rain havoc on the presence assaulting me.

"Let g-go of me right t-this minute you vile creature," I seethed with a stutter as the atmosphere suddenly became cold.

"What do you know?" the voice sighed, stopping its assault on my flesh, much to my relief. Soft footsteps could be heard in the still silence and I deduced that the presence was walking away from me. "I try to clean up the wounds of a stubborn Alpha, who's highly inebriated and running a fever and what do I get?" It asked, rhetorically just as I heard the distinct snap of a stack of louvers. The blow of frigid air stopped flowing in at that moment and with slow movements I opened my eyelids. "I get called a vile creature," it chuckled, humorlessly.

Just in my line of sight, illuminated by the dim-lit lamps stood Star who was none too pleased with a cross of her arms and a quirk of her eyebrow. "Finally awake, your highness?" She asked with a saccharine smile.

"Star," I croaked out of a parched throat, alarmed that she was in the study. "What are you doing here?" I wheezed, struggling to get up and hide the evidence of my excessive indulgence. The bottles closest to me continued to slip out of my clammy grasp. Nevertheless, the ones I could gather after a few disoriented tries were swiftly deposited into the trash can a stone's throw away from me.

"You missed a bottle of whiskey right there," she pointed out, calmly as she leaned against the window sill and watched my hurried and disoriented actions. "In fact there's a whole lot by that corner," she gestured towards a neat stack of bottles by my far left and I stared on in bewilderment.

Had I stacked them up in my drunken stupor? And who the hell downs that much liquor in such a short amount of time?

"Now, if you're done with this futile attempt to convince me of your status as an alcoholic..." she uncrossed her arms, picked up a small rolled-up towel and walked towards me as I slumped back against the wall in defeat. "...would you please stretch out your leg so I can finish up?" She crouched down in front of me and motioned for my leg.

"Go get some sleep. I'll take care of it," I refused, stubbornly, as I avoided her gaze, quite ashamed that she had found me intoxicated.

"You're not very skilled at taking good care of your wounds if they are already festering, don't you think?" She countered, dryly, ripping off the tattered fabric of my jeans to expose the jagged and bloody appearance of a deep laceration. "And sorry not sorry to tell you this but leaving your wounds unattended to while risking the occurrence of an infection or a fever does not certify you as the ultimate Alpha male," she dipped the tip of a cotton wool into an alcohol solution and before I could put a word in, she placed it on the wound.

"Shit!" I cussed, trying but failing to free my leg of her hold. My muscles would just not heed my command.

"Put this between your teeth because it only gets worse from here," she held out the rolled-up towel to me while simultaneously picking up a pair of tweezers.

"I said I'd take..." I groaned, planning to stick to my guns and dissuade her from helping me further when she pulled out a shard of rock, lodged deep within the laceration. Immediately, I snacthed the rolled-up towel from her grasp and wedged it between my teeth, swallowing the loud growl of pain that resounded within me.

"If only you had listened to me, we would have gotten this over and done with hours ago," she chastised, tensing up at my obvious discomfort and agony. "And I certainly wouldn't have had to do this," she mused much to my confusion as she crawled over to an actual cautery, placed on an iron rack, a few feet away from her.

The metal device had been heated to a dull red glow and turning to face me, she saw the apprehension harboured in my expression. "I'll only be a minute," she promised, giving my palm a reassuring squeeze before she picked up the device "Now just try to stay still for me, okay. You can do this," she cheered as I debated, internally, on whether to opt out of the procedure or not.

However, the decision was made for me as I felt the fiery cautery come to rest on the opening of the laceration. The scent of burning flesh permeated the atmosphere of the study and with both palms squeezing the plush rug, I threw my head back and growled into the towel.

The strained pressure on my leg was becoming too unbearable just as the pulsating sensation within it increased. Beads of sweat lined my forehead in response to the sweltering heat encapsulated within me and I fought hard to control the wave of nausea that hit me.

"That should do," she announced, removing the cautery from the wound and placing it back on the iron rack. Turning to a nearby bowl, she wrung a towel out in its containment and wiped my forehead clean. "It's all over with now," she whispered, packing up the first aid supplies in a box and placing it on the coffee table.

"Thank you," I groaned, removing the towel from my mouth and inhaling deeply. My leg injury had been bandaged neatly and the cuts and bruises littering my forearms had been covered in band aids.

"No worries," she dismissed, rummaging through the first aid box before walking towards the mini fridge by the book shelf. "Here, have this. It'll help with the pain," she held out a saucer with two tablets on it and handed me a glass of milk.

Gratefully, I chugged down the pills with haste and only stopped when she held onto my hand. "I know you love milk but that's more than enough or you'll choke," she warned with a small laugh as I brought the glass away from my lips, reluctantly.

Earlier on, the cheery aurora that was characteristic of her had been devoid in her demeanor. Only to be replaced by a calm, detached and sarcastic front that was due to my cold behaviour towards her and the fact that I had neglected my health. It had been apparent that she was quite cross with me and despite her warming up to me now, I still felt the need to apologise.

"I'm really sorry about my earlier behaviour towards you, Star. It wasn't my intention to brush you off the way I did. I just wanted to be alone at that moment and it's arguable that I could have communicated that feeling in a much better way. Nevertheless, despite my stubbornness you still came to help me out. I know that I really don't deserve you or what you just did for me but I want you to know that I'm truly grateful," I rushed out, holding her gaze as she broke into a warm smile.

"To be honest, I was quite mad when you brushed me off like that..." she admitted, settling down on the rug beside me. "...and then I became even more cross when I found you inebriated and bleeding, profusely. You were deep in a hallucination and your fever was running high. Calling the pack doctors from their individual cottages would have wasted so much crucial time. So I had to do all that I could, at least to stop the bleeding," she explained, staring into the darkness and hugging her knees to herself.

"I guess I was scared as well of losing you to a coma. All that self-assurance was all for show. I was literally shaking in my boots at the prospect of doing something wrong but it was the only way to get through to you," she whispered. The cold, assertive personality that had played out, just a few minutes ago, crumbled down to be replaced by the delicate, innocent aurora that I knew and loved. "Why did you even do it? Why did you hurt yourself so badly?" She asked, fixated on the stack of bottles ahead of us.

"Yil's in love with another," I simply replied, desperate to share my hurt and burden with another. "She's in love with that white-wolf, Rae," I choked out just as she turned to face me in disbelief.

"Just because he hugged her and they seemed really close doesn't mean she's in love with him. She's just as close to Kiba as well," She stated. "Moreso, she's your mate. Werewolves don't fall in love with other wolves who aren't their mates. They may have dated in the past, yes. But love?" She reasoned, trying hard to comprehend the basis of my absurd claim.

"You don't understand," I mumbled, shaking my head. "It's much different with him," I sighed as she waited patiently for me to elaborate further. "I had always smelled a male scent on her but I just couldn't believe that she had given herself to another," I whispered, staring holes into the stack of empty bottles, the more my chest clenched painfully.

My fingers twitched, sporadically, as I itched to pour myself a stiff drink. However, with Star beside me, the act was as good as me signing my own death warrant.

"Then I met Rae and it all fell into place. When I confronted her about my suspicions, she didn't deny anything," I droned, attempting to detach myself from all the hurt and pain. "I used to think that we had such a difficult time bonding because of the animosity between our kinds but I was so wrong," I chuckled, dryly.

She attempted to put in a reply but I cut her off and continued my ramble, wanting to get it all off my chest.

"And that's not even the end of it because it turns out that our ancestors were the originators of the enslavement and massacre of ancient white-wolves. This act was what led to the separation era," I divulged just as Star's eyes widened in shock. "She found this out from an olden paperback in Hunter's shed..." I could sense the wheels turning in her head. She had finally solved the puzzle behind Yil's abrupt change in behaviour. "...and I guess it's safe to say that she'll reject me as her mate now," I finished, somberly.

"I-I-I don't even know what to say or do," she sputtered, reeling from the offload of unexpected news.

"How about we pay a nice visit to the Sky Lordians who cursed me with a mate who's a white-wolf and in love with someone else?" I suggested with a snarky tone. "Or better still pay Hunter a nice visit for hiding the truth about our past," I emphasized, quite content with that course of action.

"Aryn," she chastised, slightly with a drag of my name. "This is not a joke. I can just about imagine the pain you both are in," she sympathised.

"It's not a joke?" I asked, incredulously, with a spiteful laugh before I swayed up to my feet in pain. "The shitty Sky Lordians granting me a mate despite me not needing one, is not a joke?" I questioned, again, with a turned back.

I heard her gentle rise from the rug and sensing her nearing presence, I limped away from her and towards my desk.

I didn't want her pity or comfort. I'd had enough of this suffocating weakness.

"Or even better, they gave me one who happens to be in love with another and whose ancestors were tortured and killed by my ancestors," I noted, dryly with fisted palms. "And still you want me to believe that all this is not a big, fat, cruel joke?" I gulped as my voice cracked at the end of my statement. "Really?" I whispered, feeling the tears flow down my cheeks.

I had always promised myself that I would never fall for the charms of a she-wolf. They were weaknesses I just couldn't afford. My father paid the hard price at the detriment of his mental stability and for what? To live out a bleak and void life, drowning away in liquor and awaiting death, faithfully. Was that what was going to become of me as well? Was I going to live out my life with a forever broken heart?

Again, the same feathery sensation that had saved me from the depths of the murky vortex, drew me from my thoughts. Star's fingers dried the salty tears by my cheeks just before she placed a palm on my chest and sighed.

"I wish I had the right words to say to lessen your pain," she whispered, her closeness providing a soothing breath of warmth. The excruciating hurt in my chest dulled upon contact with her palm and unconsciously I moved close to her.

"And I wish I could absorb all your pain onto myself if just to make you happy," she shook her head, regrettably in sadness and in her eyes I could see her unshed tears.

My fingers skimmed the side of her cheeks in an effort to comfort her just as she had done for me. She smiled, softly, at the gesture and her cherry red lips snared my attention. The scarlet hue sent my mind into a delirious whirl and with only less than half of my attention did I keep an ear to her voice.

"Alas, I can't even do anything to make you feel better and I hate it," she huffed in annoyance with a drop of her shoulders. Then she attempted to retract her palm from my chest when I held it in place, dependent on the relief it granted. "Does it help with the pain?" She questioned, softly.

The point at which my palm touched hers ignited with sparks that travelled, warmly, up my form. Her alluring scent encompassed me to form a compelling net that pulled me towards her. With slow steps, I moved even closer to her just as she backed away towards the mahogany table.

"I wasn't aware of your tendency to sleepwalk with your eyes wide open," she chuckled, nervously as she bumped, softly, into the table. "Is anything the matter?" Her face warmed up with colour the closer I got till we were only a breath away from each other.

I parted her hair away from her face to regard her freckled features and traced the arch of her nose, lightly.

What was the matter with me? One minute I was crying over the loss of my mate and the next I couldn't keep my hands off Star.

"Aryn?" She breathed, trying to get my attention. However, my fingers continued their relaxed exploration down her nose and to her lips where I made my decision.

Covering the distance between us, I placed a hesitant peck on her lips and she gasped in surprise. I waited patiently for her rejection and for some reason the thought of it hurt more than the pain I was currently feeling. The soft sounds of our anxious breathing filled the space of the study as we stood, locked in each other's gaze.

Tentatively, I decided to break the silence. "F-forgive me for what I just did. It's probably the a-alcohol," I stuttered, already regretting my impulsive action when she stood on the tip of her toes and pecked me back.

Her lips were soft to the touch and placing a hand to the small of her back, I pulled her in for a kiss. My lips molded in perfectly with hers as I got acquainted with her intoxicating taste. She put her hands, slowly, to the back of my neck and with shy movements, caressed my curly nape hair.

I growled low in my throat at her electrifying touch and took the liberty to feel the outline of her voluptuous hips. Only then did I realise that underneath her oversized coat lay a short silk, nightgown.

"Aryn," she moaned as I peppered kisses down her neck and lifted her onto the table. My fingers wandered under her dress and her breath hitched at the contact.

"What are you doing to me?" I groaned, wanting her with even greater intensity the more I heard her sweet-toned moans and felt her velvety skin.

I pulled down the zipper of her coat, slowly, and pushed it back away from her body. Thin straps, adorning her shoulders, led to a lace v-necked neckpiece, showcasing her cleavage. Her naked flesh was visible under the thin, transparent material and her aroused scent set my heart rate on fire. I became mesmerized by her siren-like essence and despite my best efforts, I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from her.

Was this what the forbidden felt like? Exhilarating, racy, titillating, addictive and most importantly forbidden.

Impatiently, she grabbed the back of my head with a small growl and reconciled the lost contact between us. I smiled against her lips at the sudden confidence and with a light bite to their plump form, I deepened the kiss.

She wrapped her legs around my waist and I palmed her erect nipples, rhythmically. Rocking against her inner thighs, I pushed her back onto the table and trailed wet kisses down her abdomen.

"Aryn, the pressure," she shivered, taking a fist full of my hair and arching her back.

Her innocence fuelled me on my mission to bring her utmost ecstasy. However, with that thought also came the overwhelming guilt that submerged my senses.

Was I really going to betray my relationship, or whatever was left of it, with Yil? Was I really going to give into my own selfish desires at the detriment of my friendship with Star and her relationship with her own mate?

I wanted Star with such a fiery intensity that I'd burn if I didn't act on it. There was no denying that and maybe, subconsciously, I'd always have. But why was I consumed by it now? Was it the alcohol? Was it my broken heart that surprisingly pumped with much vigour now? Was it all my years of celibacy? Was I trying to get back at Yil?

"I-I-I'm not supposed to do this. What the heck is wrong with me?" I snarled, limping away from her with great reluctance and trying hard to quench the fires of desire within me. "I'm so so sorry Star. I don't know what came over me..." I apologised with my back to her before she interrupted me.

"It was me who kissed you back even after you stopped at first. So don't sweat it, I'm the one who owes you an apology," she nervously dismissed, trying to make light of the situation. "I guess the constant smell of alcohol made me drunk as well," she chuckled, shakily.

I turned to look at her and was met with her downcast eyes. She had worn her coat back but was yet to zip it up. Her flaming-red tresses had been ruffled, courtesy of my fingers, to give her a wild, seductive look. Her swollen lips still called to my being and I had to look elsewhere lest I succumbed a third time.

"I'll just get going now," she forced out, getting down, quickly, from the table and walking towards the door.

"Star, wait!" I called out, hurriedly, knowing quite well that I'd never be able to catch up with her hasty steps. Her hand paused on the door knob and she stiffened at the sound of my voice. "I'm really really sorry for what I just did. It wasn't your fault, it was mine because I ought not to have done that in the first place," I rambled on in an effort to make things less awkward between us.

"Who was I kidding? Of course it wouldn't mean anything to you," Her barely audible whisper almost went unnoticed by my ears but before I could reply, she masked up her dejection with a much carefree tone. "Do get some rest Alpha. Preferable in your room and not here. Early morning is almost upon the pack and I'll be sure to brief the pack doctors of your condition so they can help to monitor the injury," she droned on, almost as if she was playing out a rehearsed script.

Her back was still to me and so I couldn't even gauge her expressive emotions. "I placed some painkillers inside your table drawer, if you ever feel the need to take them. And there is a carton of milk in the fridge," she continued, turning the knob and opening the door. "Good night Alpha Aryn," she finished, walking away from me and out of the room.

Her absence sucked up all the warmth within the room and despite the closed windows, I felt myself shiver.

It was just my luck that I'd not only lost my mate but also a friend that I held dear. One that I valued greatly. One that I couldn't seem to get out of my head.

"Damn you Sky Lordians for making me feel this way!" I thundered, my palms pulsating with energy as I turned around.

An angry swipe to the stack of bottles was all it took to flatten their neat arrangement. Shards of glass bounced upon the wooden panels in scattered directions. Just as their emitted sounds collided with the room walls to assault my hearing. Both palms sprung to shield my ears. However, I still stumbled onto the floor as the sound rose in tempo to dazzle my sense of coordination.

Breath in.
Breath out.
Breath in.
Breath out.
Till I can do no more but pass out.

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