Art Credit: @freddycoconut on Tumblr

• PERSEUS JACKSON

SCENARIO 1: Tartarus. 

Percy: Face me yourself, you coward!

Tartarus: *looks at Percy, appalled* I am not a coward!

Percy: Oh yeah? Prove it.

Tartarus:

Tartarus: 'Kay. *smashes him*

SCENARIO 2: Kelli and the Hellhounds™.

Percy: *goes battle-machine mode*

Kelli and the Hellhounds™: *hold up a needle filled with crushed popcorn* *poke Percy with it*

Percy: Annabae... I don't feel so good- 

Percy: The Roman part of me is allergic to popcorn-

Percy: Oh Annabae, my darling, my sweet butterfingers, I'm so sorry-

Random OC: THIS IS MY FIGH- Come on, Perce! Sing it with me- THIS IS MY FIGHT SONG-

Percy: *shuts ears and almost dies*

Random OC, who was actually the infamous band, Kelli and the Hellhounds™ since nothing makes sense anymore anyway: *throw Percy back into Tartarus*

Tartarus: *does the Disney villain laugh™* *smashes Percy*

SCENARIO 3: The tragic case of "oh-my-gawd-I'm-so-dumb-haha".

Fanfic authors: *sip a cup of tea as they discuss over what to do with Percy because Annabeth has a new love interest*

Fanfic author #1: Kidnap him and torture him!

Fanfic author #2: Murder him!

Fanfic author #3: Throw him back into Tartarus alone!

Fanfic author #4: Or... just make him move on in a nice and slow manner which does not end up with him either dying or joining Chaos!

Everyone else: 

Everyone else: *toss Fanfic author #4 off Olympus*

Everyone else: Right, so he fell into Tartarus alone because he tripped over a rubber ducky and then died because Pottery Barn-

• ANNABETH CHASE

SCENARIO: Avengers Crossover/ Gaia in general

Gaia: Look who's back, my bumblebees!

Annabae: Oh sh-

Annabae: *is either stabbed by Gaia, strangled by Gaia or neck snapped by Gaia*

• WILLIAM ANDREW SOLACE

SCENARIO: Dumb ways to die.

Monster who shouldn't be that hard to defeat, especially with the whole camp trying to fight it: *swishes tail*

Nico, from the other end of the Camp, for some odd reason: wILL NO-

Will: Must... save... Nico... 

The comment section: But he's at the other end of the-

Will: *jumps right where the monster is either swishing its tail or stomping its feet*

Will: *is either thrown back hundreds of yards in slow motion or crushed painfully in slow motion*

*the slow motion is very important*

Nico, appearing next to a dying Will: yOu aRe mY sUnShInE, mY oNlY sUnShInE-

Will: Nico, you can still heal me and kill the monster-

Nico: Shush. yOu mAkE mE hApPy, wHeN sKiEs aRe GAY-

Will: Oh my gods-

Nico: yOu'Ll nEvEr kNoW dEaR- *voice crack*

Will: Fine, I guess I'll die without getting any treatment-

Nico: hOw mUcH i lOvE yOu-

Will: I am DYING without treatment, NEEKS

Nico: pLeAsE dOn'T- *voice crack* tAkE mY- *voice crack* sUnsHiNe aWaY- *extreme voice crack* *chokes on tears*

Will: *deep sigh* *dies*

Nico: Welp, guess it's time to sleep with my dead boyfriend's rotting corpse :D

• PIPER MCLEAN

SCENARIO: It's a monster attack, or the battle against Gaia.

*Kelli and the Hellhounds™ have made a comeback with their new single "How to Unalive!"*

Piper: *does nothing 'cause apparently she does not have her charmspeak anymore. Or her dagger.*

Jason: *gets stabbed* 

Piper: Oh, my poor Jasey! You are dying! 

The comment section: Totally gonna overlook the fact that he got stabbed in his shoulder, right?

Jason: *dies* 

The comment section: ...So, the answer was 'yes'?

Kelli: *stabs Piper/ sticks fangs in Piper* 

Pinkie Pie, popping up out of a rainbow cloud for absolutely no logical reason:

"She's an evil enchantress 

She does evil dances 

And if you look deep in her eyes 

She'll put you in trances 

Then what will she do? 

She'll mix up an evil brew 

Then she'll gobble you up 

In a big tasty stew 

So... Watch out!" 

(*This was where our brains officially died, so thanks to Amber's sister for this reference*) 

Piper: *dies mumbling something about My Little Pony*

• JASON GRACE

Fanfic authors: *glance at their copy of The Burning Maze*

Fanfic authors: *stare at you*

Fanfic authors: *chuckle evilly*

(If you know, you know.)

• FRANK AND HAZEL 

SCENARIO: Intense battle scene.

Frank: *turns into eagle* 

Random monster archer, since monsters can do that now: *shoots him in the wing* 

Frank: *falls down* 

Frank: *dies* 

Hazel:

Hazel: Oh my sweet Frankie poo, you died! 

Hazel: *gets stabbed in the back* 

Hazel: *dies*

•  OTHER CHARACTERS 

SCENARIO: Battle (because natural causes and single monster attacks don't exist anymore). The characters are trying to emulate Romeo and Juliet. 

Character: *fighting* 

Monster: *stabs them because they all use weapons now, even hellhounds* 

Character: *dies* 

Love interest: *cries* 

Monster: *stabs love interest* 

Love interest: *dies on top of character​*

• LITERALLY ANYONE FROM THE KANE CHRONICLES

*The apocalypse, featuring Apophis*

*That's it.*

• MAGNUS CHASE

Magnus: So-

Alex: *decapitates him*

Magnus: I-

Alex: *decapitates him*

Magnus: Hey-

Alex: Hmm, should I try another method of murdering him? 

Alex: Nah. *decapitates him*

Magnus: *looks at you* What can I say? It's love at first decapitation. Maybe decapitation can be our always-

Alex: No. 

Alex: *decapitates him*

THE E-

Alex: But wait- *decapitates Magnus*

TH-

Alex: Hold up- *decapitates you*

Alex: THE END!