Art Credit: @cindersart on Tumblr

PERCABETH

-Either it's so fluffy that it's more fluffier than the fluffiest Pomeranian.

-Or so angsty it beats Jude and Cardan.

-Is somehow always the main focus of every general PJO/HoO fanfiction.

-Piper Mc-not-so-Lean represents most of the fandom and fangirls over the two every time she sees them because her "I'm not like other girls" personality from the books was thrown in the trash.

-The queen bee of Goode high school wants Percy to be her boyfriend for a few months, after which she has the unique idea of dumping him, as if she hasn't done that before. She struts up to Percy and tries (and fails) to mark him as her own. 

The following day, the whole of Camp Half Blood comes in the Delphi Strawberry Service van to pick Percy up from school. Annabeth follows behind in her brand new Bugatti Chiron (No, the name is definitely not coincidental). The whole camp stumbles out and Annabae struts up to Percy and kisses him passionately.

The queen bee is distraught at this monstrosity before her obviously natural pink coloured orbs. She storms up to the pair, flipping her naturally blonde princess curls and pushes the two away, causing Annabae to fall. Although the impact should not be that hard, she manages to break her ankle and possibly another bone or two for plot convenience. 

The whole of camp loses their crap, yells a few insults at her, and Annabae slaps her for good measure. Now the whole school knows who Percy belongs to. The cool kids leave in their delivery van, never to be seen again.

And everyone lives happily ever after.

Or do they?

Because the 10 year reunion seems like the perfect time to yell at your "crush's" kids, try to break apart the married couple and break into the house to steal him according to the queen bee. 

She smirks as she struts away back inside the school building back to her father, the school principal, her minions following behind her.

THE END.

FRAZEL

-Does not exist.

-When it does, they're always the sugary-sweet couple, completely disregarding the fact that they also fight and disagree like normal couples.

GRUNIPER

-Aggressively salsa dancing to 'We Do Not Exist And If We Do Then We Are Overlooked' on the planet of forgotten fictional characters with their 2.5 children and Tyson and Ella.

JIPER/ JASPER

-The very normal ship with no character development.

-That's it.

SOLANGELO

-The only non-hetero ship ever.

-Fanon Nico AKA the "UwU smol gay bean" and fanon Will AKA the "obnoxiously sunshine-y son of Apollo with no personality traits apart from being Nico's boyfriend".

-Fanon Nico part 2 AKA the "Angsty emo but still has a very nice personality" and fanon Will part 2 AKA the "Doctor-not-doctor-but-still-a-doctor, murderer who hates Percy Jackson, has the power of plagues, talks to literal rats, hates snakes and ravens, and other weird schist". 

[Tumblr, I'm looking at you for this one.]

-High school AUs featuring: 

Octagon the bully™, AKA Nico's ex-boyfriend who emotionally and physically abuses him as if Nico won't kill him the second he touches a hair on his head, 

Nico the Neko, AKA "I'm a smol, gay and broken bean, hold me" and, 

Will the sunshine dork, AKA "What the actual pancakes is going on in this new school- oh wait hmm that emo boy looks hot lemme date him".

CALEO

-Does not exist most of the times because Leo was stolen by the OC (which may or may not be the author themselves).

CHRISSE

-Chrisse is either not there or the main ship. There is no in between. 

FIERROCHASE

-If angst were a couple, it'd be them.

-Everything has to be pink and green. 

-Falafels first. Always the damn falafels.

"Falafels before Alex" ~Fanon Magnus, 20??

SAMIR (Samirah x Amir)

-They can magically touch each other before marriage, because the author said so. 

-Samirah's hair is hardly ever inside the hijab.

-That popular girl in Amir's high school that claims him as her personal property. And then Samirah comes in a fancy plane, with explosions in the background as she puts on shades and reunites with her betrothed. The popular girl with the fake tan, blue eye contacts and bleached-blonde hair comes up to them and stomps her foot to assert dominance. Samirah gets mad, and the girl is informed in a very brutal way that they are engaged.

Amir never comes back to that school again.

THE END.

GUNDERKEEN

-Insults.

-That's it.

ZARTER

-How are they sleeping together at the age of fifteen without Sadie or anyone else even objecting is beyond us.

-Carter is suddenly bold enough for PDA at school.

-He also gets detention very often for very un-Carter like actions.

-Is the hottest guy, as long as Percy isn't there.

-They use magic for projects. 

CARTER KANE. 

USES MAGIC.

FOR PROJECTS.

(Without any regrets, mind you). 

SALTNUBIS 

-Overprotective!Carter™.

-More weird sleeping together at age 13 and 16/15.

*And then our brains collectively jumped into Ginnungagap. Hope they reform in our heads soon.*